The Seven Names of Envy Angevin
by Moonlit Water Sunny River
Summary: "What do butterflies dream of?" Envy wants nothing more than to go to sleep and never wake up...and Ed wants nothing more than to get to know this enigmatic boy a little more. Life's never been simple for either of them, however, and what starts as a tender friendship spirals into a tangle of lies and mistakes that neither of them can unweave on their own. EdxEnvy High School AU.
1. When Envy Met Ed

**Welcome to The Seven Names of Envy Angevin – SNEA for short! This is my epic-length High School AU, and also very, very Edvy. So if you don't like Edvy, it's probably a good idea that you don't read it…although it might be interesting if you don't like it. Your call.**

**Anyway, I'm adding this little thing as part of my edits, about halfway through the story. The rating of this story is M, but on , but that doesn't really tell people much anymore. So I'll tell you.**

**This story deals with *mature themes*. That means my characters swear like sailors, talk about sex realistically, and sometimes even have it to varying degrees. There are no explicit lemons in this fanfiction – however, there is a little bit of lime (that means that sexy things are happening, but not necessarily to the point of erotica). Mature themes also means that there are going to be subjects like crossdressing, 'traps', abuse, abortion, murder and AIDS covered (and that's hardly a comprehensive list). Finally, there are going to be some very squicky scenes – rape and possibly torture. If you're comfortable with all this…go ahead! If not, I suggest you turn around (as much as I love readers). If you're not sure, proceed with caution.**

**Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)**

**Chapter 1: When Envy Met Edward**

_ My name is Envy Angevin, and today is the day I die._

His one bald statement of confession written down on the otherwise blank piece of paper, the skeletal teenager closed the red notebook with a sigh. He wasn't unusual. In all of his outward aspects, Envy Angevin looked completely normal – save for his piercing, purple eyes.

He looked up at the teacher, trying to feign some interest in what was being taught. His marks were still excellent, but it was automatic. Excellence was _expected _of him. He didn't expect it of himself.

As always, Envy's mind wandered back to his forty-nine pills.

Seven for the gravestone he still visited.

Seven for the guilt and the shame he carried, a burden that grew heavier every day.

Another seven and seven for the cold hearts and eyes of his mother and father.

Seven for the bruises and his brother's bruises.

Seven for the screams at night.

Seven for the illness devouring his sister's lungs.

It gave him an almost frightful glee, to think of being free of everything. It was so terribly, wonderfully selfish.

* * *

><p><em>Envy's Notebook – Entry #24<em>

_What do butterflies dream of?_

_Do sleeping dragons have a name?_

_Questions, riddles without answers_

_Artists playing guessing games._

_What do butterflies think about?_

_What brighter colours do they see?_

_What memories could they share with us?_

_How many prisoners could they set free?_

* * *

><p>"Heeey. Ed." Ling poked his friend in the side. The blond didn't respond. "Edooo…"<p>

"What?"

"Gaay," he whispered, much to the merriment of the boy behind him.

"Squinty."

Ling clutched his chest. "Edo-kun! That's offensive!"

"_You're_ offensive, dumbass. And you're just as bad as he is, Brit!" Ed jabbed an accusatory finger at Russell, who pulled an innocent expression. "Now let me concentrate."

"Yeah, on watching _Mustang's arse._"

"Shut _up,_ Chinky," hissed Ed.

"I'm Japanese!"

"Okay then, fish-breath."

Russell sniggered, and Ling scowled at him. "You traitor."

Edward, having turned his two annoying friends on each other, settled comfortably back down to listen to Professor Mustang teach – and surreptitiously check him out. _It should be illegal for teachers to be so good-looking. It's really not fair._

"Hey, hey, hey, Edo!" _Fuck, Ling's back to me._

"Yes, Ling?" he replied exasperatedly, hoping he would get the message.

Ling leaned in super close to Ed. "_Butt-sex._"

"No, thank you. Now leave me _alone._" Edward tried unsuccessfully to push Ling away.

"What's the point in having a gay friend if you can't harass them perpetually?"

"What are you _talking _about?" Ed was completely perplexed. "How am I your gay friend – if you're just as gay as I am?"

"Ssh!" Ling pressed a finger to his lips. "I swing _both _ways, as you well know, and quiet or the chicks will find out!"

"Crazy bastard…"

"A-_hem._" Ed looked up – and nearly fell out of his seat in surprise. Ling reacted just about the same way, only Russell remaining relatively calm.

"Pro-Professor!"

"What, did you forget where you were?" Mustang leant on his metre-stick nonchalantly. "As much as we're all enjoying hearing about your sexualities, we have another type of chemistry to attend to right now. Elric, detention after school."

"_What?_ What about _him?_" Ed forked a thumb in Ling's direction, who held up his hands in a 'not-me!' sign.

"Young Mr. Yao, at least, has the marks necessary for me to forgive the occasional…outburst." Mustang fixed Ed with his dark gaze. "You, however…"

Ed gulped. "F-fine."

"I'd look into getting some tutoring. And perhaps some platform shoes." With that one last jab, Mustang returned to the front of the class amid tittering from the other students.

Ed clenched his fists. "I-I'm not short! And-and maybe you should get some…some…er…"

Mustang smirked, adjusting the sleeve of his white dress-shirt with a careless demeanour. "If you're quite done attempting to insult me, perhaps you can tell me why aluminium oxide is non-soluble in water. No? Alright then. Russell, give us an answer."

"Bastard," hissed Ed through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry, what was that, Elric? You want another detention? Fine by me."

_One day I'm going to wipe that damn smirk off your face, you stupid sexy asshole._

At the end of class, as most of the students filed out of the classroom, Mustang crouched in front of Envy's desk.

"Angevin."

Envy looked up, eyes glinting dully from underneath his hood. "Yes, sir."

"Is something bothering you?"

"No, sir."

"Are you sure? Because if there's something going on, you can always come to me."

"There's nothing, sir." Envy's eyes flickered nervously from Mustang to the door, back and forth. "Can I go now?"

"Of course. Go ahead." Envy needed no further prompting, hurrying out of the room as quickly as possible.

A snigger came from the back of the room. Mustang sighed. "You needn't sound so pleased with yourself."

"Nah, it's just good to see there's someone who hates the sound of your voice as much as I do." Edward put his feet up on the desk and his hands behind his head. "After al, your mouth has much better uses."

The much-laboured-upon professor sighed, seating himself on the desk in front of Ed. "Yours would, too, if you didn't spend so much of your time using it to brag about sexual exploits."

The blond spluttered. "That is _not _what I – Ling started it – better than using it to _kiss ass _with the _principal!_"

It wasn't long before they started using their mouths for something infinitely pleasurable than bickering. Such was the fate of almost every detention with Edward Elric and Roy Mustang.

* * *

><p>Envy cursed his bad luck in a mental stream of words that would have made Ed proud. He'd been navigating the halls with his head as per usual, trying to avoid being compacted in the lunchtime rush, when he'd run slap-bang into someone. And that someone happened to be –<p>

"Zolf Kimbley," Envy half-growled, half-murmured.

"Well, hello there. I haven't seen you around in a while. Busy on your knees?"

"_Please _just leave me alone." Envy tried pushing past the white-suited senior, to no avail.

"What, you don't want to stay with me a while?" Kimbley leered suggestively.

Envy rolled his eyes. He knew what was coming next.

"And you still haven't gotten a haircut! What's next, painting your nails and prancing around like a pony?"

Envy looked balefully up at Kimbley. He was going to get himself in trouble again, he knew, but some things simply could not be left unsaid.

"Your hair is just a long as mine, Kimbley."

Kimbley grabbed Envy's arm and swung him head-first into the lockers. "That's different! I'm not a prissy little fag!"

Envy had no answer, busy trying to clear the lights from his vision.

Kimbley grabbed his collar, pulling him halfway upright "What's the matter? Get up and fight!"

* * *

><p>Ed closed the door behind him, adjusting his rumpled clothes. "Well, he proved his point <em>this <em>time…"

Suddenly, he became aware of a commotion in the halls, people collecting around one certain area. "What, a fight already?"

No, this wasn't quite a fight. The atmosphere was wrong. Something was off.

He made his way over as best as he could, but there were too many people clustered around the event. Close by were Ling and Russell, sitting by their lockers and chatting.

"Yo, brats. What's going on?" he asked.

Ling started unwrapping a gargantuan sandwich. "Oh, Kimbley's destroying some kid for looking too gay. That Envy oddball, I think."

_"What?" _Ed grabbed the collar of Ling's black jacket and hauled him upright. "And you're not _doing _anything?"

"Nothing to do with us," Ling said around the bite he'd managed to take. "We settled our score with Kimbley long ago."

"Doesn't mean I'm gonna let some other kid take the hit." Ed dropped Ling and started pushing his way through the crowd.

"Shouldn't we try to help him?" asked Russell, but Ling shrugged.

"He's gone into guardian-angel mode. Me, I'm content to eat my sandwich and let _him _do all the white-knighting. Now sit back and talk British to me."

* * *

><p>"Move it, you fuckfaces!" cursed Ed at the crowd. Finally, he made it to the centre.<p>

"Aw _shit…_" Kimbley had Envy's wrists in a tight grip and was repeatedly punching the smaller boy. Some people were cheering him on, others were silent – but no one was speaking up.

_Fucking bystander effect, _thought Ed before stepping into the circle.

"Hey! Kimbley!" He pointed to himself, other hand clenched into a fist at his side. "Remember me?"

Kimbley paused, then smirked. "Edward, of course. Still riding your brother?"

No one noticed the pained look on Envy's face.

"Har, har. Very funny. Now step away from him and start actually acting like someone with a brain."

The senior chuckled. "You want to take his place?"

"Not unless I have to. I'd prefer you go jump off of a bridge, actually, but I doubt you're gonna listen to me, so whatever. Drop him."

"Fine, fine, I'll leave your boyfriend alone." Kimbley flung Envy into the crowd, where he was caught by two other boys with predatory looks.

"Jeez, how many times does this kid have to be saved?" moaned Ling as he pushed one of them to the side. Russell dispatched the other, shoving him into a nearby open locker and closing it.

"I'm never gonna forgive Ed for this," complained the Chinese boy. "Come on, this is a stupid place with stupid people."

Envy shook his head. "I want to see."

Ed stood in a ready position, white-gloved hands braced on his knees and gold eyes bright with determination. Kimbley stood opposite, arms folded. Finally, he simply tipped his white fedora at the blond.

"I applaud your resolve. But I have no fight with you, Elric."

"That's garbage! I'll pick a fight with anyone who thinks beating the crap out of anyone is a good idea!"

Kimbley smiled thinly. "Perhaps…but I don't feel like it." He turned and walked away, waving as he left. "Good luck with your Rainbow Alliance."

"H-hey! Don't walk away!" Ed sighed and crossed his arms. "Heh. Idiot." He noticed the crowd still gathered around him. "Ah, get lost, you dimwits! Watching a kid get beat up…you make me sick."

The teenagers began to disperse, and Ed walked over to where Envy was crouched on the ground, flanked by Ling and Russell. "Hey. How ya doing?"

Envy gave him a withering glare.

"Heh. Stupid question?"

"I'm alright." He got slowly to his feet, wincing at his various bruises. "Thank you."

"Eh, no problem, I can't stand him at the best times." Ed held out a hand. "Come on, eat with us."

Envy half-smiled. "Thank you, no. Wouldn't want to ruin your reputation."

All three boys threw back their heads and laughed, much to Envy's confusion.

"Trust me," chuckled Russell, "that won't be a problem."

"Uh…alright…"

And so it was that Envy came under the protection of Edward Elric, Russell Tringham and Ling Yao…otherwise known as the Unholy Trio of Central High.


	2. Paper

**Edited 12/07/2012: Removed a few of Ling's lines – Characterization Marches On, he never ended up being quite as much of an ass as I meant him to be.**

**Corrected Kimbley's name like fifty times. Freaking multiple spellings. **

**Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)**

**Chapter 2**

**Paper**

_I didn't know what to think of the three boys who had stepped in against Kimbley. Their efforts were appreciated, but I didn't see the point in saving someone like me, even if he hadn't been planning to erase himself that night._

_ Ling Yao was tall and lanky, with long black hair and narrow eyes that almost looked closed. He seemed lazy, but I suspected that if anyone he truly cared about was on the line, he would prove far more dangerous than anyone suspected. He was dressed in all black, with a black longcoat and…sparkly purple high-tops? The contrast made my head hurt._

_ Russell, on the other hand, was the perfect opposite. His short blond hair flopped over one eye and, paired with black slacks and a rumpled white dress shirt, he was the picture of careless elegance – the British accent, unaffected by whatever time he'd spent in Canada, merely completed the picture._

_The one who truly interested me, however, was the Elric boy. I'd never seen someone who looked so much like Apollo before – golden hair like strands of sunlight, and eyes just as bright. And the colours too -! He was saturated with colour. He wore a crimson coat with white gloves, over a purple tank-top, and leather pants. On any other person, it would have looked horrendous, but he wore it splendidly. It was a shame he was so sh_

"Hey, Envy!" Ling waved a hand in front of Envy's face, bringing him back to the real world. "You alive over there?"

Envy tucked his pen into the spine of his notebook. "I was writing, that's all."

Russell chuckled throatily. "You get pretty into it, don't you? You haven't said a word since we got you out of that mess."

Envy shrugged. "I'm not much of a talker."

"Whatcha writing about anyway?" asked Ling, trying to look at the page covered in Envy's neat but small handwriting. "You writing about us?"

He slammed the book shut. "None of your business."

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just interested, that's all."

Envy turned slightly so that Ling couldn't see, then went back to his writing. Suddenly…

"There are pages missing." He flipped through, again and again, but it was true. The page where he'd written his poem about butterflies and his statement that his life was soon to end – was gone. A flap of paper was left in the spine, with _'My n' _scratched on it.

He bit his lip. _It must have ripped out when I dropped it, when Kimbley hit me._

"Is it important, Envy?" Envy looked up – and into Ed's golden eyes, which were suddenly very close.

"Uh. No. It's fine." _I have to change the subject now…_ "So, do you not have a good reputation either?"

Ed sat back down, at a comfortable distance from Envy. "Nah, we're kinda the Rainbow Alliance round these parts." Kimbley's words.

"I've already fucking told you, Ed, we are _not _a bloody Rainbow Alliance." Russell held up a finger shushing Ed before he could counter. "We're three gay –"

"Bi!"

"Shut up, Ling. Okay, two gays and one bisexual with a penchant for trouble. A Rainbow Alliance involves an _alliance. _We have no lesbians, and no transsexuals. Therefore, no alliance."

Envy unsuccessfully tried to stop himself from choking in surprise. Russell raised an eyebrow at him. "It can't have been a surprise."

"Ah, shut up, Brit-boy." Ed smacked Russell on the back of the head. "Maybe for you, but I'm, like, invisible to gay-dar."

The taller boy snorted. "Sure. And…how come your clothes are all rumpled up?"

"Er…I was just in a fight?"

"He walked away before either of you landed a blow."

Ed crossed his arms. "Fine, I was with my boyfriend."

_"Boyfriend?_" Ling leaned forward. "I have not heard this. Tell me. Now."

"I can't. It's a secret."

Ling gasped. "Secret sexy relations, the best kind! Come on, tell me!"

"No! It's a secret!"

"At least tell me if he's hot!"

"Extremely."

"Ooh, what does he look like?"

"I can't tell you that, Russell."

Envy leant back against the lockers, trying to ignore their conversation. _Figures. I don't belong – as entertaining as they are. Still, my last day might as well be with people as colourful as them._

"Whoops, there's the bell." Ed got to his feet, brushing himself off. "Ling, we've got History with whatshisface, come on. See ya later, Russell. Envy…"

"Yeah?"

Ed gave the thin boy a thumbs-up and a dazzling smile. "Have a nice day, alright?"

Envy was stunned silent, then smiled in return. He gave Ed a thumbs-up as well. "Yeah. You too." Then he bent his head, hair hiding his face.

_Damn it…I thought I was done with crying._

* * *

><p><em>Envy's Notebook – Entry #26<em>

_All the tears in the world will not quench_

_The bitter flame of unhappiness_

_So dry your tears and stay awhile_

_Though there's no use in trying to smile._

_Cry me a river or cry me an ocean_

_Nothing will change and nothing will stay_

_Cry your eyes red until all hope is dead_

_The end is still lost and the world is still grey._

* * *

><p>Ed tried to listen in History class. He really did. But after Professor Grand's fifth time explaining the irrigation system of Ancient Egypt, he gave up. Digging in his coat pocket, he pulled out the crumpled piece of paper he'd found on the ground.<p>

_-ame is Envy Angevin, and today is the day I die._

"The bastard was right," he whispered under his breath, then stuffed it back into his pocket.

The moment school ended, he started a mad dash for the front door.

"Hey, Ed! Are you –"

Ed pushed between Ling and Russell. "No time, gotta go, talk to you later!"

Finally, he caught sight of Envy's grey hood. The skinny teenager was already halfway down the road.

Ed started sprinting. _Gotta catch up to him, gotta catch up, gotta c-_

"Hey! ENVY!"

Envy stopped, half-turning, just in time for Ed to nearly plow into him. Luckily Ed managed to stop himself.

"...Hello. Did you want something?"

Ed held up a hand. "Just…" –pant pant- "just a sec…" He looked up at the Angevin boy's face.

Envy's skin was pale, grey and stained with tears. The black eye that Kimbley had managed to give him had darkened to blue now, and stood out against his white complexion. Along Envy's collarbone, barely visible from under his hoodie, were other, older bruises. If Ed had had any doubts about what the page from his notebook said before, they were now dispelled.

"I…I just wanted to say…" Yet, now that he had Envy where he wanted him – now that he could stop him from going home – what could he say? "I just wanted to say, um…"

He'd never noticed how purple Envy's eyes were before. They were piercingly clear, like amethysts set in an alabaster face.

"See you tomorrow."

"What?"

Ed straightened up, noticing with a twinge of annoyance that the other boy was taller than him. "I wanted to say see you tomorrow! Maybe we can go to the mall after school. There's a really cool shop Russell, Ling and I like to go to, and we can get ice-cream. Ice cream is good!"

A smile was playing around Envy's lips.

"So…yeah. See you tomorrow." Ed raised his hand in farewell.

"Yeah. You too." Envy turned and walked away.


	3. The Mourner

**Aiee, so many nice reviews :D**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: Perhaps, haha. Some people just have really bad gaydars, though. Russell's definitely the least likely to arouse suspicion though (purple shirt, red coat, leather pants - really, Ed? XD)**

**Fujoshi Laivine: Aw, thanks! That's what I was going for - I started rereading Seven Reasons and realized how bad it was compared to what I could do now. I'm glad you like it ^^**

**Linea Arlis: No, you don't get two replies. Greedy little thing XD**

**Tigerwulf: I'm glad you like this version! It's a lot more natural to write, and it's good to hear it's more natural to read, too. Envy being mute was a nice idea, but there's only so far I could go with it, especially in this kind of medium. I doubt I'll be doing any more rewrites, this one feels right ^^**

**Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)**

**Chapter 3**

**The Mourner**

The Angevin family were well known throughout the city, if not the whole country, by virtue of their parents. Dante Angevin had burst onto the Hollywood scene in her early twenties and was now well advanced into her fifties – still making movies, except this time with her name splashed in big letters across the top of the credits instead of hidden at the bottom.

Her husband was no less accomplished. Theophrastus Angevin was one of the most vocal of the ultra-Conservative majority in the House of Commons, with a charismatic manner that could fool even the most liberal thinker into agreeing with his policies at first blush.

The two had fallen in love at first sight at a red carpet gala, and proceeded with a whirlwind romance that ended up in a shotgun wedding. Six months later to the day, their first child was born. In a fit of irony – and perhaps a certain amount of _schadenfreude_– they named their nearly-illegitimate child Lust Angevin, and began the naming trend that would follow their five children to their graves.

After Lust came Greed; then Sloth, then Envy, and finally Wrath. Several times, the couple had voiced their wish for two more children to 'complete the collection' as they put it, but it was not to be.

_It's probably just as well,_thought Envy as he walked up the street to where the Angevin mansion rested on the corner. _With how well most of us have lived up to our sins so far, a Gluttony and Pride in the family would probably cause too much trouble for even our parents to ignore._

He unlocked the door, opening it slowly and looking down. The only shoes in the vestibule were Sloth's black mary-janes and Lust's dusty high heels. Envy added his black-and-white keds to the pile, then made his way to his room.

"Hey, hey, where are you going?" Lust waved from the living room, pushing her wheelchair towards him. "Not even a hello?"

Envy chuckled. "Hello, Lust. Sorry, I thought you were probably asleep."

Lust scowled. "I can only sleep so much." She wriggled furiously in the wheelchair that kept her prisoner. "I'm just as lively as ever, and I'm not allowed to do anything about it!"

"Careful, you'll knock out your IV!" Envy caught the bag of saline water as it fell off the hook, and gently replaced it.

Lust chuckled. "Thanks. And…" She reached up, and touched the puffiness under Envy's eye. "What have you been doing?"

"It's nothing. It was an accident."

She shook her head. "_Envy._Come on. I'm not Mother, or your teachers. I'm not dumb. Who was it? I'll punch them."

Envy's face flamed red. "Kimbley."

"That bastard! I'm glad I never slept with him." Lust caressed her little brother's face. "Try to stay away from him, alright?"

"I do try." He briefly debated telling Lust about Ed, Russell and Ling, then decided against it. "I'm going to get some work done, but can I get you a drink first?"

"Nah, I'm fine. Sloth grabbed me one." Lust held up her cup of fizzy water, then pinched Envy's cheek. "It's so cute how worried you are about me! Now go, work hard and keep your marks up so you can go to Harvard or wherever."

"Sure thing, Lust." As he walked away, she began to cough, deep, shaking, hacking coughs that not only shook her entire body but Envy's as well.

* * *

><p>Ed collapsed on his bed, groaning. "Ahh…I love it when the Bastard's not home."<p>

"Ed, stop calling him that!"

Ed stuck his tongue out at his brother. "I'll call him what I want. He's never here, and when he's not here, that means more food for me – and more of your excellent cooking."

Ed's younger brother flushed at the comment, and adjusted his ponytail. Alphonse may have been two years younger than him, but he was taller by at least two inches, with long brown hair and hazel eyes. While Ed took after his hated father, Al was a living version of their mother.

Al leaned against the doorframe. "Um, Ed…"

"What?"

"I got my report card today."

_"What._" Ed sat up immediately. "Please tell me –"

Al bit his lip.

"Al, come on. You can't be serious."

"I'm not being held back another year. They'll let me go into high school. But they want me taking Applied classes." Al couldn't look at his brother.

Ed sighed. "Great."

"I'm going to do better in high school, I promise."

Ed buried his face in his hands. "This is my fault. If I hadn't been so _dumb_and gotten myself –"

"No!" Al pulled Ed's hands away. "It's _not_your fault. Things _happen._You needed your time, and I should have been able to keep my marks up on my own. But I'm going to do better now. So stop – blaming – yourself." He punctuated his last words with pokes to Ed's chest.

The corner of the blond's mouth turned up. "Ah, you always were my better half, marks or not. Hell, I've even started picking up strays like you."

"Oh? Are we getting a cat now?"

"Different kind of stray…sorry to disappoint you. I'm gonna take a nap." Ed flopped back down, hands folded behind his head.

_A stray, huh…that's one way to describe him. I hope he's okay._His fingers itched to flip through the phone book and dial Envy, just to stop him. But he knew, possibly better than anyone, that talking someone down didn't work nearly as well as it did in the movies. Not when they truly meant it.

_I could have told somebody…_Like who? Roy Mustang was really the only viable option, and even he had already tried to get Envy to open up.

It was something most people never understood. The only person who could ever save Envy Angevin's life…was Envy Angevin.

* * *

><p>One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven…<p>

"Dammit!" Envy resisted the urge to throw the handful of pills against the will. He couldn't focus. He needed to find some sort of peace before…

He slammed his hand against the wall, and closed the small bottle with the other. He'd thought it was going to be easy. They were so small, so harmless-looking. It was like swallowing headache pills.

"Damn it…" he said again, falling against the wall and sinking to the floor. "Damn it." It was just a whisper this time, and he closed his eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from spilling out.

"I…wanted to see you again…" He put the pills back under the pillow. He was going to use them tonight…but not yet.

"Lust, Sloth, I'm going for a walk."

"Okey dokey! Laters, bro," came Lust's cheery reply, following by a stifled cough.

He needed to get out of here. He needed to get out before he snapped –

A few seconds later, he was standing on the asphalt in bare feet, shivering in the cold spring air. _I really shouldn't be out here in nothing but a hoodie and jeans…_He couldn't bear to go back inside that house just yet though.

Envy started walking, notebook clutched to his chest. All of his senses seemed to be on fire – every cold piece of gravel digging into the skin of his sole was distinct from each other, and the wind whipping his hair around seemed to be whispering dark things into his ears.

He kept going, despite the cold. There was somebody he needed to see.

Suddenly, in what seemed like both eternity and an abominably short amount of time, he was there. He opened the waist-high gate, running his hands along the black cast-iron spikes.

The Birchwood Graveyard.

Gravel gave way to softer, warmer dirt under his feet, then to newly-grown grass that itched and tickled. There weren't many graves in Birchwood, and the ones he was looking for were three years old already.

"There you are…" he whispered, and fell to his knees. He reached forward and brushed his fingers against the stone of the grave. The name etched into the granite was still crystal clear, with sharp edges that still hadn't had the time to erode away.

_Martel Rockbell. 1995-2007. Requiescat in pace._

"I'm sorry, Martel," whispered Envy to the gravestone. "I tried, I really did. But I guess I'm just no good at living without you. I'd rather be with you…no. That's not true. I wish it had been me. Nobody would miss _me._"

His vision was blurring.

"I miss you, you idiot." It was getting hard to speak. "Look, I'm making a total idiot of myself. Just…wait around a bit longer, alright? I'll be along soon."

Martel's tombstone was silent.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," he muttered, looking away. "What've I got to stay for? I can't help Wrath. I can't help Lust. Look at it this way – I'll be with you, and Lust'll be along soon enough."

Someone had leant a framed photo of Martel against the tombstone, and looking directly at it for the first time, he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He doubled over, touching his head to the cold earth.

"My eye hurts," he spoke to the ground, ignoring the tears that were watering the grass by his face. "and my face hurts, and my heart hurts, and my head hurts, and everything hurts, Martel. I just want to make – it – _stop._

"There's Greed at home – he's gotten worse since you…left. And Kimbley at school, and Lust is dying…" He pressed his hand into the dirt, nails digging into the loose soil. "What do I do, Martel? What the fuck do I do without you?"

_Sleep,_replied the part of his brain that had kept him sane over the three long years, the part of his mind that had taken on her voice and mannerisms. _Sleep, my love, and I'll keep you safe._

"I won't go…just yet…" Envy thought of the forty-nine pills. "I…I think I might…" His mouth was so dry. "I think I might have somebody waiting for me."

_Don't disappoint him._

He couldn't stop crying. "I love you," he managed to choke out, even as his tired and sore eyes began to close.

Branded on the insides of his eyelids was a video clip, repeating itself over and over again – Martel bending over him, kissing his forehead and mouthing, _I love you too, you idiot._


	4. Closer

**Linea Arlis: But…why would you withhold your thoughts? D: I want to knowwww…sorry I made you sad though. And I'm much better now, thanks for the internet-hug though XD**

**Tigerwulf: *bows* Thankee very much for the compliments ^^ The juxtaposition of humour and sorrow is something I love playing with, and yes, Lust is awesome like that ^^ I'm glad you're reading and enjoying!**

**YukinoKara: Martel Rockbell, yes. There are many things planned – and they are *planned* this time _**

**Everybody give YukinoKara a big, big, BIG round of applause becaaaause…she is being my beta! How wonderful! So no silly mistakes in this chapter (er, I hope…) Thank you very much for your help ^^**

**Also, any suggestions for a name for the second part? Because I'm drawing close to it and I still don't have a name for it…_**

**Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)**

**Chapter 4**

**Closer**

Ed had never been so impatient for Chemistry to start. Even watching Roy – ahem – Professor Mustang – set up for a lab couldn't distract him from thinking about Envy.

_Did he go through with it? He better not have – but what if he did? Worse – what if he did, and failed? What if he's in horrible pain now and nobody knows it? What if -? What if -? WHAT IF?_

"Good morning."

"Good morning," replied Ed without thinking. Wait…He nearly fell out of his chair in surprise.

Envy smiled sheepishly, trying to wipe off as much of the mud as possible.

"What happened to you?" asked Ed in shock, picking himself up off the floor and disentangling his leg from the bar that connected the chair and desk.

"Fell asleep in a graveyard," Envy answered honestly.

Ed's open-mouthed stare said more than a thousand words could in a lifetime.

"Envy Angevin, what are you doing, in that state, in my class?" Professor Mustang strode up to Envy and looked him up and down distastefully.

"Like I told Edward, I fell asleep in a graveyard, and it started raining while I was asleep."

"How's your notebook?" asked Ed, giving Envy a bit of a surprise.

"M-my notebook? It's fine, just a little wet." Suddenly, his feet were shaking. _Ha, he cares about my notebook. That's funny._

The shaking didn't stop, and suddenly, he was falling to the floor.

"Angevin!" Professor Mustang dove forward, catching him before he made impact. He sat Envy down on the nearest chair, trying to ignore the students that were suddenly clustering around them.

"Angevin, are you alright?" Envy's head was drifting back and forth, like he'd fallen asleep.

"I'm fine, sir." _I'm not fine. _Envy's head felt like a featherbed, and if he thought everything had hurt yesterday, it was nothing compared to now.

"You are not fine, Angevin. And spending the night in the graveyard is _not _appropriate – no matter whom your parents are," he added in an undertone.

"I resent that," Envy tried to say, but it came out more as "I berzemm bad."

"Elric, take him home. This won't do."

"What?" squeaked Envy. "No, I'm…"

Mustang turned back to his student, and quieting his voice down so that only Envy could hear, he told him, "I've had to turn a blind eye long enough, Angevin. When was the last time you ate?" Envy's dumbfounded and ashamed expression was enough of an answer. "This is the last straw. Elric is taking you home, and I'll be writing up a report."

He got to his feet before Envy could attempt to respond. Ed stepped forward and offered him a bottle of water, which he accepted gratefully. "Can you stand?"

Envy indignantly got to his feet, ignoring Ed's hand pointedly – and nearly tripped over his own feet. "I'm _fine."_

"Suit yourself. Hey, does this mean I finally get to see the inside of your palace?"

"It's a mansion," but Envy couldn't help a smile.

"Ah, there! A smile! I saw it!"

Envy hurriedly straightened his face. "You must be hallucinating."

"I'm not the one who spent the night in a _graveyard. _In the _rain." _Ed's expression was suddenly serious, concern flickering in his eyes. "Why weren't you at home?"

"I was visiting someone," replied Envy, eyes cast down. "And I didn't want to go home." _Greed would have returned soon enough. I'll take Martel over him any day._

He waited for the inevitable questions about his home life, but they never came.

"Well, next time you feel like spending the night in the graveyard, give me a call or something." Ed had his hands shoved in his pockets, and his gaze was also averted, a hint of embarrassment showing on his face. "I've got someone I visit as well, and…and I was worried about you."

_Bite your tongue, bite your tongue –_ "Why in the name of God would you be worried about _me?_"

"Er, you just seemed…distracted yesterday. That's all."

They'd left the school by now, and the mansion was visible over the tops of the smaller houses. Ed gave a soft chuckle and shook his head.

"What?" asked Envy.

"Oh, nothing, it's just pretty great how you'll never get lost."

Envy could feel his ears go pink with embarrassment. "Shut up," he muttered out of the side of his mouth.

"Seriously! I've always wanted to see what the inside of your house looks like. It must be pretty cool on the inside if the outside looks like _that._"

"It's not that great, to be honest. I think it's stupid having a house that big in this type of area. It sticks out," complained Envy, "and we all just live on the first two floors anyway."

"We can trade if you want," joked Ed. "Although it's only three of us – two and a half, really– so it might get a bit roomy."

"Two and a half? How'd you manage that, cut someone in half?"

Ed scowled. "My dad's always on trips. I haven't even seen him in three months now." He suddenly cheered up. "I don't mind though. He's a bastard anyway."

Envy decided he didn't mind having Ed walk him home.

"And…here we are. How come Professor Mustang made you walk me home anyway? I could have just gone to the nurse's office."

Ed shrugged. "He probably just wanted you to take a shower."

"Is it that bad?"

"You haven't been near a mirror, have you?"

Envy pulled a face. "I hate being dirty. Well, sometimes it's not too bad –" His notebook fell to the ground with a thud as both his hands jumped to his mouth in sudden shock.

Ed had to support himself against the stucco wall of the house as he collapsed into helpless laughter.

"Y-your _face_ – haha –"

"I'm so sorry! I don't know where that came from!"

Ed knelt down, picking up the fallen notebook and dusting off its red cover. "You really can't hang onto this thing, huh?" Still on one bended knee, he handed it back to the mortified Envy.

"You know," ventured Envy shyly, "it looks like you're proposing to me."

"Oh, you want to milk this 'I'm gay' thing for all it's worth, don't you?"

"N-no, it's not like that – oh god, I'm useless at this." Envy buried his face in his hands.

"It was a joke, Envy." Ed peeled Envy's hands away from his face, noticing that his skin was almost translucent under the mud. "I think maybe your sense of humour has been clogged by the dirt. You _really _need a shower."

"So I've been told," responded Envy archly, then started unlocking the door. Just before he opened it, however, he turned back to Ed.

"So, um, I'll be about fifteen minutes with the shower…and then we can go back to school!"

Ed chuckled. "No need to rush, I've got nothing important to do and you're not well. Besides, I want to see the inside of your awesome house."

"Well…um…that's kind of the problem." Envy scratched the back of his neck nervously. "C-could you wait out here?"

Ed's smile disappeared. "What?"

"I-it's not you! I just – don't – um – I –" He was losing his words. Crap. And Ed was looking more and more disheartened with each second. "Sorry. I – I'm sorry." Envy slipped around the door as quietly as possible – and found himself face to face with an irritated-looking Lust.

"Oh, hi, Lust."

"I may be dying, but I'm not dead, and I'm definitely not deaf." Lust pointed at the door. "You're keeping a lovely young man out there, when I'm, quite literally, dying for company! That's just too cruel for words!"

"Can you stop with the death jokes…"

Lust pouted. "Not until you let him in here. He sounds cute and I don't get eye candy any more."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm bloody sure!" –another wince from Envy – "I'm your older sister, now open that door!"

Envy did as he was told, swinging the door open and avoiding Ed's curious glance.

"Now come here and give me a hug. You had me worried _sick _last night. Don't. Do that. Ever again."

Envy walked over to Lust and bent over her wheelchair, letting her wrap her arms around him gently – then, without warning, squeeze violently.

"Ow! Lust, I'm fragile!"

"Oh yes, my poor, fragile flower – who decided to spend the night outside!"

Ed watched them bicker, biting the back of his hand to avoid making any comments or laughing. Somehow he felt it would be slightly less than appropriate.

Once the conversation between Envy and Lust had reached a bit of a lull, he stepped forward, hand outstretched. "I don't think we've met. I'm Edward, Edward Elric."

"Ooh, manners." Lust took Ed's hand and gripped it with a strength that belied her fragile-looking state, noting with a glow of warmth that he didn't recoil at all. "You could learn from him, Envy."

"Oh, shut up."

Lust looked Ed up and down from under lidded purple eyes. He was handsome, if on the short side, and while perhaps not the kind of man she would have dated, definitely one she would have considered when she was in high school. Of course, she was a year past the two-decade mark, so even if she was well, it wouldn't happen.

Besides…glancing at Envy and the light that had reignited in his eyes after so long, it wasn't hard to tell who Ed belonged to.

"So, why are you two boys here instead of school?"

"Well…" Ed looked at Envy and smirked. "Professor Mustang told him to go home and take a shower. I'm here to make sure he does exactly that."

Lust erupted in raucous laughter, while Envy sank onto the couch in a refreshment of his earlier mortification. "Well, he'd better do that before he gets mud absolutely everywhere. Off with you, Envy, while I talk to this _handsome _man."

The hateful look Envy gave his sister was probably completely subconscious. That didn't mean it wasn't _hilarious._

"So," Lust wheeled herself over to the couch and indicated for Ed to sit down. "Tell me all about how my brother's doing."

"To be honest, I don't know. We only really met yesterday."

"Ooh la la, moving fast, are we?"

Ed could feel himself going red. Apparently he wasn't as 'invisible to gaydar' as he'd bragged. He searched for words, finally settling on a simple question. "Is he?"

Lust simply shrugged. "He might be. He's had feelings for girls before, but that doesn't preclude anything, as I'm sure you know. Besides, look at him!"

"I'm not really a fan of stereotyping –"

Lust cut him off. "Stereotyping shmereotyping, he practically craps out rainbows and I love him for it. He used to paint his nails in middle school."

"I think I remember that…" mused Ed. "There used to be a girl he ran around with, wasn't there? Can't remember her name…" His sentence faded off into nothing at the look on Lust's face.

She leant forward slightly and took his hand. "Envy's had to deal with more than his fair share," she said, lighthearted tone almost completely disappeared and her love for her brother obvious in every syllable, "more than most kids his age."

Ed's eyes automatically flickered to the IV bag hanging off of the wheelchair, and immediately hated himself for it. The smoky-haired woman only smiled sadly.

"That's only part of it. Sooner than I'd like, I'll be on my merry way and he and Wrath will be on their own. I have a favour to ask you, Ed."

"What's that?" he asked apprehensively.

"Make him smile more, alright? You're the first person to give a damn about him outside of me and Wrath in three years and I love seeing it. So make him smile more."

Ed was stunned into silence. He'd known, at least to a point, what he was getting into when he'd offered Envy the hand of friendship. There were far less complicated partnerships to be made – hell, from the sounds of it, _Kimbley _would be less complex.

He _liked _Envy, though. He wasn't someone who made friends easily. There was Al, Roy, Russell and Ling…and that was pretty much it. Yet the easy companionship he had with Envy, even with the fear that he would flee like a wounded deer, was something he hadn't ever experienced.

He grinned. "You don't need to tell me, Lust. He's got a beautiful smile."

Lust smacked him lightly to hide her relief. "Keep your hands off!"

"Of course, of course! Jeez, what do you take me for!"

Just then, Envy chose to re-enter the living room, towel wrapped around his waist and another resting precariously on his shoulders, blond hair dripping onto it. "Hey, Lust, do you know where some of my old clothes are? I can't find them."

"I think Mum put them in the attic," replied Lust, slowly and slyly. "Maybe Ed can give you a hand. Are you sure they'll still fit?"

Envy rolled his eyes at Lust. "Of course they will. They were huge on me when I bought them."

"Old clothes? You mean you own something that's not grey."

"The minute I find them, you're getting this towel to the face, smart guy."

Lust watched them go, chuckling softly. Once they were out of earshot, however, her cheerful face collapsed in on itself, and she coughed into a handkerchief. As good as she was at hiding it, she was dying.

She leant her head back and closed her eyes. She got tired so easily these days – and maybe she'd rest a little easier knowing there was someone to give her brothers a hand. Well, the oldest one a fist.

Yes, she'd just rest a little now…just a little.


	5. Cherry Garcia

**Edit for August 19th: Made a few small changes to fit with later revelations. I still wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen, so yeah. That's why.**

**A/N: Aargh, this one took longer than usual. Lots of description porn in this one though – I had fun with it.**

**And cue realization that *nothing happens in this chapter*. Call it a character chapter, or something. I dunno. Fluff? It's something.**

**Linea Arlis: Thank you so much darling ^^ The banter is my favourite part to write! That and describing things. (You may have noticed XD)**

**Envyyy: You won't have to wait long! This chapter may be short but Chapters 6-8 will be coming out quite quickly.**

**Tigerwulf: Some people are just good at dying, if that makes any sense. Poor Envy, though, she can probably get tiresome after a while. And ohgodyes I want a picture of that moment, when it's like 'I slept in a graveyard!' XD**

**YukinoKara: HE DOES NOT HAVE GREEN HAIR YET OKAY**

**Thanks again to YukinoKara for being my wonderfulicious beta :D**

**Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)**

**Chapter 5**

**Cherry Garcia**

Ed wasn't someone who developed crushes easily. There'd been Ling (the less said the better), and there was Jared Leto, and of course, Roy Mustang.

However, walking behind Envy as they climbed the third level of staircases, he was starting to grudgingly add another to the list. Even in the shabby clothes Envy had put on for the climb up to the attic, he was…well, gorgeous was the only way to put it, really. His thin t-shirt clung tightly to his damp skin, and Ed could trace the line of his spine and his back muscles through the fabric with his gaze. He could only imagine how smooth his skin must be.

There were more unsettling features that also drew his gaze, however. Scattered across his arms and the sliver of his back visible between his sweatpants and shirt were bruises, all in various stages of healing. Some had faded to light blue, some were almost black, and others were still the angry shade of purple that flagged them as recent.

Envy reached the top of the staircase, and holding onto the banister, sank down onto the top step. "Phew. Too many stairs."

"Ha! Even you think so!"

"Now do you understand why I feel like this house is too big?"

Getting back to his feet, Envy sauntered over to the middle of the landing, reaching up to pull at a nearly-invisible string. His shirt rode up a bit, revealing two lines that led down past the waist of his pants –

Ed consciously turned himself away. He was trying to build a _friendship, _not a romance, and even if Envy was oblivious enough to test his limits at every turn, he would be responsible enough not to take advantage of it.

Envy pulled at the string, detaching a trapdoor from the ceiling and bringing down a folding ladder. "Here, stand at the bottom, and I'll pass you down the box."

"Why would she put old clothes up here if you're all on the first level or whatever?"

"Well," Envy began to explain while climbing, "Lust, Wrath and I sleep on the first floor, Greed and Sloth on the second, Mum and Dad use the third for their suite, and then we have studies and stuff on the fourth floor. This is really the only place to put them, and I haven't worn them in three years."

"Why the change of heart?"

"I figure if Kimbley's going to call me gay no matter what I wear, I might as well just wear what I want instead of trying to blend in. That, and my last set of wearable clothing other than this is now covered in graveyard dirt."

Ed braced the ladder while Envy climbed the last few rungs. "So _that's _what you were doing. I remember you being pretty colourful in middle school, though."

Envy smirked, hiding his face behind a rafter. "I'm not gay, Edward."

"Hate to say it, but you could have fooled me."

The box was right by the entrance, and Envy grabbed it, surprised at how heavy it was. He knew he'd thrown out at least some of them, but it _had_ been three years after all.

"I know I'm hardly an outstanding example of manhood, but I already look like a girl – I can't help that. So I used to dress like it, too." Envy turned awkwardly on the ladder, holding the box. "Here, catch."

The box landed high on Ed's chest, knocking him unceremoniously to the ground.

"Oops."

* * *

><p>Recovered from his tumble, Ed leant against the banister, relishing the heat of the high sun as it shone through the bay window.<p>

"You dressed yet?"

"Not yet!" came the reply from the nearest room, where Envy had disappeared to browse through his old fashion choices.

"Jeez, you _are _like a girl."

"Take that back!"

Ed merely chuckled and looked out of the window. He could see the entire neighbourhood from here, on the fourth floor of the Angevin mansion. There was his house on the next street over, with its black slate roof and cast-iron fence, and the block after that held the school itself.

_I wonder what Roy is doing right now… _Probably teaching a class, or marking papers. Ed sighed, trying to imagine what it would be like if he and Roy could be like a normal couple. They could go out for ice cream, or neck in the back seats of a movie theatre, or even hold hands in public without the risk of getting into trouble.

The sound of a door opening returned Ed's attention to the house he was in – and he was pleasantly taken aback.

Envy had been attractive before – but he'd looked frail, dainty, like a piece of porcelain you'd be afraid to touch for fear of shattering. Ed hadn't needed the crumpled-up notebook page to know this – it was written all over the shy, withdrawn teenager.

But this was different.

Envy was wearing a red t-shirt with black longer sleeves underneath, decorated with a sketch of a drumset encircled by two dragons and emblazoned with the number 666. With it, he had a pair of low-slung black cargo pants that were far more suited to the slimness of his legs, and were held up with a belt with a suspiciously sparkly buckle. The blond hair that usually fell in front of his face was forced upwards and outwards into spikes by a black headband.

"Wow."

"So you like it?"

_Hell yes I like it. _"Yeah, I do. It's definitely not what I would have expected from you."

Envy grinned, his sharp canines giving his face a feral look. "You're the first person to see me like this since middle school."

"You should wear these to school again. You'd be catching everybody's eyes."

Envy's grin faltered. "No…no, I won't be wearing these at school."

"How come? If it's about Kimbley, don't worry about him. Ling, Russell and I can take care of him no problem."

Envy shook his head. "It's – it's not that. I just wanted to show you. I…" He looked down at himself, the snarky confidence that he'd spent the whole day cultivating disappearing like water into dry earth. "I should put these back. They're too flashy."

He turned to go back in the room, but Ed put a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, how about you wear them for now – and I take you out for ice-cream?"

He looked quizzically at the blond. "What about school?"

"R- uh, Professor Mustang gave us the whole day off, actually – told the admins we were both terribly sick. Speaking of that – how are you feeling?"

"Um, better, I guess?"

"Good, so I won't feel bad about dragging you out and about. Come on – let's go to the mall."

"In this?"

"If you want to. You look much happier in these though."

Envy snorted. "As if clothes have much to do with anything." Still, Ed was right – these were clothes he'd chosen himself, instead of bargain-bin rejects chosen specifically for cheapness and dullness.

"Fine. But I am _not _going to school dressed like this."

"Fair enough. Now – how do you get down these stairs? Do you slide on the banister?"

Unfortunately, the stairs weren't set up in a way that made it possible to slide down the entire way, so they had to do it the 'boring way', as Ed dubbed it.

As they passed the living room, Envy looked in on Lust. "Ah, she's asleep. I'll just write her a note letting her know where I am."

"What about your mother?"

"Oh, she's off promoting or something. I don't really keep track of what she does much, and she returns the favour."

Envy left the hastily-scribbled note tucked under a vase, and then they were off.

"So what's your favourite flavour of ice-cream, Envy?"

"That's a strange question." Nevertheless, he flushed slightly.

"Can I guess?"

"Sure."

Ed's golden eyes blinked once, twice, three times, then looked up at the blazing sun. "Cherry Garcia."

Envy gaped. "How did you know?"

"Because it's mine, too."


	6. Penguin Suits and Piercings

**Edit for August 19th: Finally fixed the line breaks, as well as a few continuity things about Envy's schooling and such.**

**A nice long one to make up for the short and boring Chapter 5. Chapter 7 and 8 will have lots of stuff in them too – next chapter is the gala!**

**Yes, I assure you, this is indeed the same story as Seven Reasons. It's just presented differently, with a slightly different chain of events.**

**Linea Arlis: Bah, what immaturity? XD You're older than me if I remember correctly, so I really can't talk. And yes, yes he does. Poor Ed – I'm not done torturing him yet.**

**Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)**

**Chapter 6**

**Penguin Suits and Piercings**

It was seven hours later, at 5:30 in the afternoon, when Envy finally returned to the mansion with dishevelled hair and flushed cheeks.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late!" he called out, slipping off his shoes as he came in the door. "I was just having fun and –"

He turned the corner into the living room – and stopped dead, his bounciness frozen in its tracks by the sight of his entire family looking at him.

"_So _glad you could join us," said Sloth drily, flipping her nut-brown hair over her shoulder. She was two years younger than Envy, but looked far older, having like Lust inherited her mother's movie-star looks.

"Sorry," Envy murmured, sitting down in the only seat left between the seven of them.

Greed laughed, exposing his sharp teeth and leaning over the arm of the sofa towards Envy. "Off with your girlfriend, little monster?"

"I was not. And don't call me that."

Dante cleared her throat, snapping their attention to her. "I have something very important to discuss with the family. As you know, both your father and I are important members of society – as are you, by extension."

Greed stifled a snort, causing Sloth to titter nervously. They both quieted down, however, when Father fixed them with a cold glare.

Dante continued, purple eyes focused on a point above their heads. "A minister is hosting a gala in honour of the Prime Minister's re-election. Theophrastus and I are expected to be present – as are all of you."

Envy shifted nervously in his seat, and then noticed his youngest brother Wrath doing the same.

"And, of course, you must all have a companion."

Lust clapped her hands happily. "Oh, wonderful! I haven't had an excuse to guilt anybody into taking me out for ages!"

"You're terrible, Lust," drawled Greed, folding his arms and squirming into a lying-down position on the sofa. "All I need to do is smile and I get a date."

Theophrastus sighed and pushed his glasses farther onto his stern face. "Your companions, of course, will have to be approved by either me or your mother."

"What?" Greed sat up, face a mask of horror. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"I refuse to allow you to bring your usual tramps to a high-society event, Greed." Father's voice was accusing, and Greed turned his head away sulkily.

Envy's good mood was now thoroughly ruined. He'd attended his parents' social events before, and they always left him sick to his stomach.

"When is it?" asked Sloth, mind on business as usual.

"In two days."

_"Two days?_" sputtered Envy in disbelief. "Why didn't you let us know earlier?"

"We were busy," replied Father. Envy suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "As a matter of fact, we still are. Discuss the matter of dates among yourselves."

As one unit, they rose and left the room – leaving the five siblings to stare at each other awkwardly.

"Well," Greed broke the silence. "We're screwed."

Sloth stared at her feet. "How am I going to ask somebody to come with me?" she said in a quiet voice, betraying the shyness she shared with Envy.

"Oh please. It can't be that hard. You're an _Angevin _kid – when I was in high school, I was one of the most popular kids around!"

Envy and Sloth exchanged looks, but said nothing. For all that Sloth was always picture-perfect and stunning in crisp suits and high heels, she was just as terrified as the world as he was – and there were few boys willing to put up with her icy façade.

_Although… _Envy could think of one person who would be.

"Hey, Sloth, I think I know somebody who'd like to take you."

Sloth's eyes widened. "Who?"

"Are you familiar with Edward Elric?"

Sloth frowned in confusion. "Edward Elric? The short blond boy in your grade? Isn't he –" She caught on just in time. "Do you think he would take me?"

"I'm certain of it. I was just with him."

Sloth looked Envy up and down, then gave him a questioning look. Envy thought as loudly as he could, _Just go with it!_

"Aw, damn, does that mean he won't take me?" Lust pouted.

"How about I talk to Russell?"

Lust cocked her head. "Who's Russell?"

Sloth answered for him. "Russell Tringham – he's British, apparently –"

"Yes! I'm all for cute Brits!"

Wrath sat quietly in the corner. Greed walked over and slung an arm around the small boy's shoulders, ignoring how he flinched. "How about you, Wrath? Got somebody squirreled away?"

Envy tried not to notice how Greed's fingers caressed the thirteen-year-old's neck, or how closely he was pressed against him.

"I don't feel so well. I probably won't go," said Wrath quietly. He got up and left, leaving the elephant in the room to speak for itself.

The four remaining siblings shuffled awkwardly to pretend that they hadn't noticed, and Greed sat back down in the seat Wrath had just vacated.

Envy closed his eyes, feeling red-hot needles prick the inside of his lids – then opened them again when Greed spoke.

"Hey, little monster, what are you wearing, anyway?"

"Just some of my old clothes. Everything else was dirty."

Greed grinned characteristically, examining Envy with an air of appreciation that didn't feel quite appropriate for a brother. "I'd forgotten how much better you looked in colour."

Envy ignored him, pulling his hair forward so that his newer accessories might go unnoticed. He'd have to take them out before the gala after all, it seemed.

"Well, I'm off," announced Greed, getting to his feet and stretching. He was the tallest Angevin, towering even above the imposing Father, and had the shoulders to match. That was probably why girls were attracted to him like a moth to a flame – he was both attractive and terrifying.

Envy just found him terrifying.

After he was out of earshot, Sloth covered her mouth with a dainty hand. "Envy, what _do _you have in your ears?"

"Nothing!" Envy covered his ears, but Lust had already spotted them, and burst out laughing.

Envy scowled. "Look, Ling talked me into it. I can just take them out and they'll heal over."

Sloth reached over and pushed his curtain of hair out of the way, exposing the new piercing through his earlobe. It was a small golden stud that blended in with his hair unless you were looking for it. The skin around it was still an irritated red from the procedure.

She clicked her tongue, shaking her head. "How are you going to hide those?"

"I don't know…"

"He doesn't need to," interjected Lust, wheeling herself over and examining the studs. "They're very classy – with a suit, they'll look very nice. I don't think the parents will have any complaints."

"Dad will."

"Oh, forget about Dad. He'll be quiet once he realizes that it makes you look _better _for the cameras."

Envy blanched at the mention of cameras. "Paparazzi again?"

"Probably."

He sighed, and then touched the studs lightly. "Do you really think I should leave them in?"

"Why not? They look _good._" Lust grinned foxily.

Envy looked at Sloth. "What do you think?"

"Um…I…" She shrugged, and then brushed non-existent dirt off of the shoulders of her purple jacket. "It's your decision."

"Alright. Oh, and talk to Ed tomorrow. You might be pleasantly surprised."

* * *

><p><em>"You want me to do <em>what_?"_

Envy held the phone slightly away from his ear. "Sloth doesn't…she doesn't _do _dating. Could you, please?"

_"I dunno, Envy, I've never taken a girl on a date before…okay, once, and it went horribly. Plus, this is a gala for, like, important people! I don't know how to act!"_

"It'll be fine, I promise." Envy chuckled softly. "I'll make sure you use the right fork."

_"So, who are you going to take, then? I mean, no offense, but I've never seen you with a girl."_

Envy reached over to his computer and tapped through Facebook until he found the page he wanted. "An old friend of mine – she's the same age as Wrath."

_"Are you talking about Elysia Hughes?"_

"Oh, you know her?"

_"Envy, we have all the same old friends, I thought you'd figured that out by now."_

Envy sighed as he looked at the picture of the pigtailed middle-schooler. "So you remember her in middle school, then?"

_"I have a vague memory of her being desperately in love with you._"

"Mmhmm. But if it means she'll come with me to this stupid gala, I'll do it."

_"Don't break her heart, alright?"_

The blonde snorted, flopping back onto his pillow and fiddling with a strand of hair that insisted on curving over his face still. "She's probably moved on by now. I still talk to her occasionally, but not for a while."

_"You really isolated yourself after grade eight, huh?"_

Envy was silent, listening to the static of the phone line buzz and crackle.

_"I'll take her, then. And you say you want Russell to take Lust?"_

"Something about sexy Brits."

_"Fair enough. She knows he's gay, right?"_

"She won't be trying anything, she just wants a date."

Ed's tinny laughter still held its vibrancy over the phone line. _"Alright. I'm pretty sure he'll do it – let me just ask him."_

"You're chatting with him?"

_"Course. And…yeah, he's cool with that. What do we need to wear?"_

"It's black tie." Envy's mind suddenly fed him a picture of Ed and Russell in suits. "But we've got some old tuxes that should fit you two nicely."

_"Oh, thank god. I was just imagining having to buy one of those stupid penguin suits for one night. My job pays well – but not that well."_

"Don't worry about it."

_"Ahh, such are the perils and joys of having a famous friend."_

A flame went up in Envy's cheeks at the term. He'd spent the entire day with Ed, and later Russell and Ling, but he still hadn't quite gotten around to applying the word 'friend' to them. Ed, however, seemed to have no such reservations.

_"Anyway, I gotta run. I've got like fifty hundred pages of Chemistry due tomorrow and I haven't even started yet."_

"Haha, alright. You do that."

_"See you tomorrow, Envy!"_

"See you." The words slid out of Envy's mouth like melting butter, and he kept the phone to his ear long after the click, only hanging up when the dial-tone began to pierce his brain.

He turned to his left, where his notebook lay nestled in the white sheets, its red cover like a splash of blood against the linen. He opened it to a fresh new page, unmarked by black veins of ink like so many others.

Envy chewed on the end of his pen a moment, before setting it down.

* * *

><p><em>Envy's Notebook – Entry #29<em>

_Melting ice_

_And a rose in the snow_

_Out of the winter_

_That bites and chills_

_And whips and kills_

_And steals and frightens_

_Comes a little spot of life._

_Immortalized_

_A piece of spring_

_Where it doesn't belong_

_Still standing strong._

_Melting ice_

_And a rose in the snow_

_Contrasts and comparisons_

_You're more than you know._

* * *

><p>Elysia Hughes was pretty, and she knew it. She may have been thirteen years old, but already she was starting to understand the power she wielded – especially over the boys in her Grade 8 class. She could have had any boy she wanted.<p>

Except, of course, the one she did.

"And so, so, so what Ling does is he tells Kanda to, like, get a girlfriend, right? And then Kanda told him that…"

The pigtailed middle-schooler was starting to tune out Mei's ranting, when her phone started buzzing in her pocket. "One moment, Mei, someone's calling me." She flipped open her cell. "Hello?"

Mei and Kole tried not to laugh as her expression went from slight boredom to barely-hidden excitement. "O-of course!...No, no, not at all…I'd be happy to!...Yeah, you too. See you later! Mwah!" She closed the phone, grinning like a madman.

"So who was _that?_" asked Mei, cocking her head to the side and nearly falling off balance with the weight of her heavy braids.

Kole snorted. "Who do you think? It was Envy, of _course._" The tomboy jumped back up onto the block where she'd been sitting."

"You're just jealous because _you,_" Elysia pointed a pink fingernail at her, "didn't just get an invite to the Prime Minister's gala!"

"Oh my god _what._ Are you serious?"

Elysia nodded, cheeks lit with fervour. "Totes. Envy just asked me to go with him!"

Mei squealed, clasping her hands to her cheeks. "Oh my god! That's amazing! Now I can tell you that I'm going and you won't be mad!"

"Wait, what?"

Mei tugged on her braids. "Um, um, w-well, my dad's important, right? So we all have to go…"

Kole leant back against the wall. "So I'm the only one who's not going now?"

"I'm sorry, Kole, I didn't mean –"

"Psch. It's fine. Don't wanna go to some stupid gala thing anyway. So you think you'll finally get Envy to be your boyfriend?"

Elysia blushed, cradling her cheek in her hand. "M-maybe…I mean, he asked me to go with him. That must mean he likes me." Her eyes went starry. "I think I'm just enough of a woman for him now!"

"Oh please. Your period started yesterday."

"Sh-shut up!"

Kole laughed, adjusting the cap she always wore to keep her long, black hair out of sight. "Besides, I still think Envy's a flaming –"

"TAKE THAT BACK!"

* * *

><p>He woke up screaming.<p>

Then he realized that it wasn't him.

Envy turned on his stomach and placed the pillow over his head, simultaneously wishing it wasn't happening and hating himself for being such a coward, for not doing anything.

Wrath's screams subsided into muffled sobbing. In the darkness of his room, it was all too easy for Envy's rich imagination to show him exactly what his oldest brother was doing to his youngest.

"Stop it," he whispered into the softness of his sheets. "Stop it, Greed. Stop it. Stop it."

It was both a mantra and a charm; a futile attempt to save Wrath, and a desperate hope that Greed would never open his door.


	7. Saturday Night Fever

**Edit for August 19th: Continuity edits and line breaks.**

**So lots and lots and lots and LOTS happens in this chapter. It's also about ten times long as regular chapters. However, that's only fair, because this chapter marks the end of Part 1 of The Seven Names of Envy Angevin. The beginning of Part 2 may take a while, since I'm going to take a brief (very brief!) break and write a oneshot for what-is-the-colour-of-love. Then it's on to Part 2: Bluebird!**

**Rare-I-Tay: …Morgan, is that you? And thanks to you, Ling is now a brony. (Nevermind that this is set in 2010 before the new series debuted.)**

**YukinoKara: The reason I reply on the chapters instead of through the system is so that everyone can see the replies. Since the reviews are open for everyone to see, I think it's only fair – and I don't need to answer questions multiple times. Also, this way, you know who to blame when Ling starts singing 'Love is in Bloom'.**

**Part 1: Kochou (Butterfly)**

**Chapter 7**

**Saturday Night Fever**

_Friday Afternoon_

"So we'll come over tomorrow at three?"

Envy nodded in answer to Russell's question, then self-consciously tugged at his hair. He'd tied it back into a low ponytail today, and though he was back to grey shirts and jeans for school, his earrings were proudly exposed.

"I just hope your mother doesn't decide we're not good enough," moaned Ed. "What if she thinks we're too scruffy?"

"She won't. You'll both clean up very nicely." Envy gave a sly smile. "Actually, only you need to be cleaned up, Ed. Russell is fine the way he is."

Russell preened shamelessly, while Ed tried to smooth down the antenna of hair that insisted on sticking up from his bangs.

"Sorry we don't have a date for you, Ling."

The Japanese boy shrugged. "I already have one."

"Wait, what? You're already going?"

"_Hai, baka._" Ling leant against the lockers, grinning as he did. "You'll see me there."

* * *

><p><em>Saturday Morning<em>

"I'm sick."

"No, Wrath Angevin, you cannot be sick."

"I _am. _Even Ms. Ross said I didn't look good yesterday."

Dante sighed and crossed her arms, looking down at Wrath, who was resolutely wrapped in his blankets. "Fine. You may remain."

Greed leant against the doorframe. "Maybe I should stay and take care of him," he suggested, and Wrath's face blanched.

"No, you may not. I will tolerate one of my children being absent, but not two. You're thirteen, Wrath – I expect you can take care of yourself while we are gone."

Wrath nodded, trying not to look too excited.

Dante sighed again, with the air of one dealing with something distasteful but necessary. "So be it."

Down the hall, Envy was fiddling with the buttons on his white dress shirt. "Stupid thing…" The rest of his tuxedo was laid on his bed, as well as the ones he'd found for Ed and Russell. The latter's was one Greed had outgrown when he was seventeen; the former was Wrath's, which he wasn't going to be using.

Envy chortled to himself, wondering whether he should let Ed know he was wearing a thirteen-year-old's suit.

As if summoned by his thoughts, the doorbell rang. Doing up the second button from the top, he called out, "I'll get it!"

Russell stood on the doorstep, looking slightly apologetic. "The other two are over there." He pointed to the street, where two figures were chasing each other around, giggling.

"You won't catch me, Ed! Your legs are too short!"

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT! I'm AERODYNAMIC!"

Envy sucked in his lips. "…Let's leave them to it, shall we? Come in, come in."

Russell stepped in through the door, then looked around in amazement. Ed, true to form, had been more focused on Envy and Lust at the time, but the London-born Tringham could truly appreciate the kind of home that the Angevin family lived in. The hallway leading out of the vestibule had no ceiling, instead soaring up through all four floors and giving a view of the inside of the painted roof. The carpet was eggshell blue with luxuriously long and soft-looking fibers, and gave the inside of the house a dreamy look.

"Bloody hell," he whispered to Envy with an awe. "You honestly live here?"

"All my life."

Russell shook his head. "And here I thought Ling was the richest person I was ever going to meet…"

"Oh, quiet."

Just that moment, Lust came around the corner, wheels pushing against the thick carpet. "Oh, hello. You must be Russell! I'm Lust."

Envy couldn't figure out why Russell looked so shocked, until he realized. _I didn't tell him. Fuck, I didn't tell him he was taking a – and Ed didn't either – he didn't know that she was sick – what if he freaks out?_

Lust's eyes filled with unfathomable sadness. "I, uh, I know I don't look my best. I'm sorry."

Russell took a few steps forward and bent forward, taking her frail hand in his and kissing it gently. "Forgive me for being surprised. I wasn't expecting Envy's sister to be as radiant as you."

Lust's cheeks coloured, and she laughed heartily, both at the compliment and the implied slight in Envy's direction. "Aw, you're a flatterer!" She leant forward slightly and smiled warmly. "You're quite the looker too. Where are you from?"

"Central London – Greenwich, in fact. And please, don't ask if I've had tea with the Queen."

"I guess you've heard that one a lot, hm?"

"You would _not_ believe me if I told you. Ling is a bit of a brat - let's leave it at that."

Envy breathed a sigh of relief, then stuck his head out of the door. Ed and Elysia had given up chasing each other, and were lying on their backs on the pavement, breathing hard.

He walked over and crossed his arms, tapping his foot right by Elysia's head. "Are you quite finished, you pair of lunatics?"

"Envy!" Elysia leapt to her feet, tiredness forgotten, and latched herself around his waist. "I haven't seen you in FOREVER!"

"Um…hi." He gave her an awkward one-armed hug back. "Sorry about that."

"It's alright. I'm excited about tonight!" She picked up a garment bag from where she'd let it rest on the grass. "I brought my dress and everything!"

"Good, I was hoping you weren't going to wear that."

Elysia looked down at her pink sweater and white jeans, then huffed. "These are _fine. _Just…maybe not for the gala." She brightened up again. "Am I gonna meet the Prime Minister?"

Envy winced, and twisted his pinky in his ear. "Probably not, but you might meet his son."

"Pshaw, I go to school with him. He's not even cute."

Envy and Ed exchanged looks over the excitable girl's head, but then Envy had to look away. It wouldn't do to be seen laughing at his date, after all.

* * *

><p>"Are you <em>sure <em>they like me?" Ed tugged at his collar again, and Envy slapped his hand away.

"She thinks you're fine. Honestly, as long as you're not a tramp, a homosexual, or a liberal, you're an acceptable date."

Ed looked at Envy in the mirror. "Yeah, dude, there's a bit of a flaw in your logic there. A couple, honestly."

"Well, she doesn't have to _know, _does she? Just because she and Father live in the past doesn't mean we all have to, you know."

"Except by wearing these things."

"You could have said no."

"Yeah, but then you would have been in a jam. I can put up with a penguin suit and girl cooties for a few hours to help you out."

He fought the urge to grin as Envy's face went red and he looked away. The Angevin reasserted himself and straightened Ed's bowtie before stepping away and looking him up and down.

The golden-haired boy struck a pose in the mirror. "I like it, actually. Very Bond."

"Brosnan or Connery?"

"That's a hard one…I'll go Connery. Get yours on, you can be Brosnan."

Envy picked up the black waistcoat from the end of his bed and started pulling it on. Ed picked up the bowtie. "Here, I'll help you get this on."

"O-okay…" He gathered his hair up and swept it over his shoulder, exposing his pale neck, then started buttoning up his waistcoast.

"Hah, I feel like I'm putting jewellery on a girl."

Envy snorted. "Enough with the girl jokes. They're getting old."

"Oh come on, between the four of us, we fill pretty much every stereotype. You're girly, Ling's bratty, Russell's gentlemanly…"

"And which one are you?" he asked disarmingly.

_Hornyyy…_moaned the devil resting on Ed's shoulder. He flicked it off irritatedly. "Er, crabby."

"Ha! Don't make me laugh."

"I'm totally crabby! I'm so crabby, you could make crabapple jelly out of me." _Or just jelly. _He finished tying the bowtie, mentally stabbing his shoulder-devil with a rusty nail. "There we go. Are you going to tie up your hair or leave it down?"

"I don't know. What do you think?" Envy turned around – and Ed suddenly had to sit down on the bed.

"Uh…first off, that you look good in suits. I'm thinking you should put it up, though. Show off your piercings."

Envy picked up a hairbrush and tie from his bedside table. "You should put yours down, Ed."

"What? No way!" Ed clutched his braid possessively.

Envy shook his head. "A braid is nice and all, but it's not really appropriate for this kind of event."

He narrowed his gold eyes. "Is that true, or do you just want to see me with my hair down?"

"You'll never know."

"You're a horrible person." With a sigh that admitted his defeat, Ed pulled the elastic off of the end of his braid and raked his hands through it until his hair hung loose and wavy over his shoulders.

It was Envy's turn to need to sit down.

_golden hair like strands of sunlight_

_ Apollo_

His own writing was echoing back at him. He must be going insane. "Wow."

"Sloth's not going to try jump me, right?"

"No, no, no need to worry about that. She's not the type." Envy brushed his hair a few times, then tied it back.

Ed turned his head until it was almost resting on his shoulder. "You're really on edge, aren't you?"

"Uh? Why do you say that?" _Strands of sunlight…_

"Your ponytail is terrible. Let me fix it."

"You are _so_ gay."

Ed stuck out his tongue before getting up and combing his fingers through Envy's hair. "How long is your hair now anyway?"

"100 centimetres. I know that offhand because of Wrath's obsession with measuring things last week, by the way."

_Don't make a dirty joke, don't make a dirty joke, don't make a dirty joke…_ "Like what?"

"Like table legs and nose bridges. Now clean your damn mind."

Ed snickered despite himself. "Sorry, sorry. Not my fault I'm a healthy, red-blooded American male."

"Fuck you, we're Canadian and we should be proud of it."

"All hail the maple leaf!" Unsatisfied with his own patriotism, Ed began to warble 'O Canada' off key.

Envy started to wish he lived in the States after all.

* * *

><p>"Oh, there you are. I thought you two would <em>never <em>be ready." Lust's dress was sparkly. _Very _sparkly. The strapless sheath hugged her body and showed off the curves that she still had, despite the weight she'd lost since falling ill, and the black, glittery fabric blended perfectly with her smoky hair. Even in her wheelchair, she looked like a siren.

"Tuxedos aren't exactly easy to put together, Lust." Sloth slipped her rhinestone earring through her ear, then smiled shyly at Ed. "So, what do you think?"

"You, darling, look absolutely wonderful." He wasn't lying, either. Her soft brown hair was piled on top of her head, and paired with her dark blue cocktail dress and rhinestone bracelet, she looked like a modern version of Audrey Hepburn.

Envy resisted the urge to fiddle with his earlobes. "Hey, where's Elysia?"

Russell shrugged. "She's been taking forever."

"Here I am!"

Elysia was wearing a long, faded-rose silk dress that draped over one shoulder, decorated with a spray of rosettes around the bottom. "I borrowed it from Mum!"

"Very pretty!"

"_Love _the hair."

"That necklace is perfect." Ed elbowed Envy in the side.

"Oh! Uh, yeah. You look nice."

_And this is why gay best friends exist in the first place, _thought Ed, trying not to sigh at Envy's hopelessness.

Elysia's smile faltered for a second – then returned instantly as she grabbed Envy's arm. "So who are we waiting for?"

"Greed and his date are driving us there, and Mum and Dad have gone ahead," answered Lust. "So nobody! Let's go!"

The procession started for the door, when Elysia exclaimed, "Wait a second! I forgot something!"

"What's that?"

She ducked back and grabbed something black, which she flipped over her arm and onto Ed's head. "Daddy said you'd need it to reach the height limit!"

"DAMMIT Elysia, who are you calling the size of a snow-pea?" He touched the brim of the top-hat. "Although…I quite like it. Dashing."

"_Very _dashing," agreed Envy.

Suddenly, the honk of the horn brought them all to their senses, making Sloth nearly fall off of her high heels.

"Hurry up already! We're gonna be late!" hollered Greed.

"Well, can't argue with that. Ladies first," said Ed, bowing to…Envy.

"I hate you."

"No, you don't."

* * *

><p>"You nervous?" murmured Ed to Envy.<p>

"Yes. I hate these things. You?"

"Like crazy. What if people talk to me?"

Envy squeezed his hand from where it was squished and brought it over to Ed's, grabbing it and holding on. "You'll be fine. You have a top hat."

"Haha. You kill me."

The car stopped.

"Here we are. You ready?"

"No."

"Me neither." Envy opened the car door, releasing Ed's hand only reluctantly. "Here we go."

* * *

><p>Ed looked around in wonder at the ballroom. "You've got to be kidding me," he said in a low voice. "This is so snazzy."<p>

"Snazzy? Who are you, Fred Astaire?"

"Maybe. So what do I do now?" he asked, looking around the room filled with black suits and elegant evening dresses.

"Mingle. Waiters will be coming around with hors d'oeuvres and wine. Don't talk about politics, religion or anything controversial. As a matter of fact... let Sloth do most of the talking."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Sounds like a barrel of fun."

"I warned you. But there will be dancing in about a hour or so – hopefully that'll entertain you." With that, Envy departed in a different direction, Elysia by his side.

"Don't worry, Edward," said Sloth. "I'll take care of you."

Edward smiled, but couldn't hide his discomfort.

* * *

><p>"Just get me right to the table – that's a dear. Thanks, darling!" Lust blew a kiss at Russell, who sat down next to her. She beckoned to one of the waiters roaming around the room, who handed her a glass of red wine.<p>

"Should you be having alcohol, Lust?" he asked.

Lust shrugged. "Technically not with my meds, but whatever, a glass won't kill me, haha." She took a sip, then exclaimed happily. "Oh, this is excellent! Here, Russell, have a glass."

"I'm seventeen, Lust."

She pouted. "But it's _Shiraaaz…_"

"Isn't this technically a MADD fundraiser? I think giving an underage boy wine – no matter its quality – might be a bit...counterproductive."

Lust chuckled, setting down her glass. "Technically, yes, but it's really just a party for the Prime."

They continued to chat, when out of the corner of his eye, Russell began to notice people staring and whispering behind their hands. He ignored it, but lowered his hand to the arm of Lust's wheelchair and grasped her hand, interlacing their fingers.

She looked down, then back up at him. He smiled. "Do go on."

She grinned, then flipped her smoky hair back, showing off her bare white shoulder. "So as I was saying, the best thing about…" She frowned.

"The best thing about being home all the…" Again, her cheerful expression faltered. Russell realized with a sinking heart that she could hear them too.

A woman in a simple black halter-top dress sauntered up to them. "Why, Lust Angevin, I haven't seen you in almost a year!" She looked Lust up and down, upper lip lifted in a strange blend of pity and disgust. "You, ah, look different."

Lust tapped her finger against her chin. "Is it the hair? It always looks so different when it's grown out a bit."

The woman's grip tightened slightly on her glass. "I heard about the diagnosis. Are you sure you should be out and about?"

"I couldn't pass up an opportunity like this, could I?" Lust sipped delicately at her wine, but her grip on Russell's hand was getting tighter with each second. "And who decided that my medical information should be public knowledge, anyway?"

"I'm terribly sorry, it's just that a tragedy of this scope –"

Lust slammed the glass onto the table, a few drops sliding up the glass and spattering onto the tablecloth. "Annie Barker, are you calling me a tragedy?" Her voice was beginning to rise. Russell couldn't blame her.

"I-I mean, you used to be such a good dancer, and actor, and now you're in a wheelchair –"

"Used to be? Used to be? I'll show you used to be!" She yanked her hand out of Russell's, and placed them both on the arms of her wheelchair. Kicking the footrests out of the way, she planted her black flats on the floor, and pushed herself slowly up.

"Look at me. Look at me! I'm dying and here I am! I can still stand! So write that in your little notebook and, for fuck's sake, _leave me alone!_" Lust took a faltering step forward, then another, lifting her hands from the wheelchair.

She looked just as surprised as everyone else – and suddenly, her legs gave out, and she crumpled into a heap on the floor. Wisely, Alice Barker fled, as well as the few other people who had gravitated towards the scene.

Russell bent down next to her. "Are you alright?"

"Go away."

"Here, I'll help you get up –"

"I can do it!"

Russell helped her into a sitting position. "I'm going to lift you up, alright?"

"Please…" Her voice was almost a whisper. "Don't put me back in the chair."

"Just for a minute," he promised, "and then we'll find somewhere private."

She sniffed audibly. "F-fine." She glanced up at him, and for the first time that day, she looked like Envy.

* * *

><p>Ed carefully took the glass out of his date's hand. "Careful there, Sloth. I can see that starting to break."<p>

"I can't help it. Did you see how that witch humiliated Lust? Oh, I could just punch somebody!"

"I know. But I'm not sure this is the place." It was interesting how the astoundingly put-together Sloth leapt to her sister's defense so vehemently. It made Ed wonder how Envy was faring.

On the other side of the room, Elysia was trying to keep Sloth's brother from committing assault. "Envy, don't!"

Envy bared his teeth, eyes hot. "I haven't ripped anybody's throat out before. There's a first time for everything, isn't there?"

"But…but…" Elysia searched the room. "How about we go talk to Ed and Sloth? Then you can calm down, alright?"

Envy took a few deep breaths, but he still cast a murderous look over in Annie Barker's direction.

"If you insist."

Elysia looked away, hating herself for blushing – but _gosh_, he was cute when he got angry.

* * *

><p>"Here we go. One of the waiters said we could use this place for a moment." Russell picked Lust up from the wheelchair and seated her on the small green couch. "Are you alright? That fall didn't look fun."<p>

Lust didn't reply. Russell reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear, then realized she was crying.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly.

"It's not your fault," she whispered, then brought her hands to her face and began to sob brokenly.

He placed his hand on her shoulder awkwardly, unsure what to do. "I…if you don't mind me asking…what, um, what is it?"

"That I'm sick with?"

He nodded, braced for offense on her part.

"I made a lot of stupid mistakes in high school. I'm all about love and sex and passion – my name is Lust, after all. But, uh, I was diagnosed with HIV when I was eighteen." She eyed the wheelchair hatefully. "It became full-blown AIDS about a year and a half ago."

"Do you know who gave it to you?"

"I have my suspicions. But it won't do any good knowing. I'm still dying." She pressed her fist against her mouth, mascara running down her face in dark streaks. "And sometimes I feel so good – especially when I get the chance to take that damn IV out – that I can forget for a moment. Then stupid Annie Baker has to remind me." She gulped, trying to hold back her tears. "Pride goes before a fall, alright."

Russell pulled her over until her head was resting on his shoulder. "You can cry as much as you want to. I'm not going to judge."

She clutched onto his shirt, and let herself sob until her eyes were puffy and sore. He merely held on, serving as rock and anchor.

After some time, her body stopped shaking, and her breathing, although still ragged, began to even out. "Th-thank you. I don't think I've cried like that since I was diagnosed."

"Why not?"

"My siblings. Greed can deal with it, but Envy, Sloth, Wrath…My thirteen-year-old brother has to watch me die, Russell. The least I can do is make it as easy on him as possible. Sloth's not going to have anybody to talk to except Mother, and that's scant comfort. And Envy…dear, sweet Envy." Lust smiled despite herself. "He's already seen too much death. It's not fair that I'm going to leave him as well."

"You're a remarkable woman."

"Do you really think so?" She looked up at him, and then hugged him tightly. "Well you're a more-than-remarkable man."

"It's the least I can do."

* * *

><p>In the ballroom, the dancing had begun. A string quartet played a tune in the corner, while the floor was filled with couples dancing.<p>

Dante and Theophrastus were as perfectly cold and coldly perfect as usual.

Sloth was discovering that Ed was a very, _very _good dancer. "When Envy called you Fred Astaire," she said into his ear, "I didn't think he meant it!"

"He didn't." Ed looked over at Envy, and then snickered. Elysia apparently subscribed to the school of 'exuberance equals skill', while Envy, true to his nature, was a much more reserved dancer.

"Poor Envy," murmured Sloth, although a smile was playing around her lips. "You should go save him."

"I am _not _dancing with Elysia. But…" An idea struck him, just as the song wound to an end.

"Is it alright if I leave you for a bit? Or is that not the thing to do?" he asked.

Sloth chuckled, sitting down carefully. "Go ahead, go ahead. You've been wonderful."

Ed grinned, and gave her a peck on the cheek before zipping off towards the odd couple.

The Angevin daughter was only alone for a minute, however, before someone sat down next to her. "Hello, hello!"

She sighed, readying herself. "Hello, Ling."

"What's a pretty girl like you doing alone?"

Sloth mentally rolled her eyes at Ling's flirting. He'd been hitting on her since she'd started at Central High. "Taking a well-deserved rest from dancing."

"Where's Edward, then? He should be with you." Ling sighed. "A terrible thing for him to do, run off on his date."

"Oh, I don't mind. He's saving my brother from Elysia."

Ling looked up, and then his face split into an expression half-amusement, half-shock. "How is he doing that again?"

"I assume by dancing with Elysia. Why?" She followed his gaze.

They watched as Ed offered his hand to the dumb-struck, shocked and wide-eyed Envy.

* * *

><p>"Would you like to dance?" he asked, golden eyes full of mischief.<p>

"Um – I –" Envy looked at Elysia, who was looking rather put out at someone trying to steal her dance partner. "I'm not sure if –"

"I would be terribly hurt if you refused, you know."

"Oh, alright!" No sooner had the words left his mouth had Ed grasped Envy's hand and pulled him in close.

"What are you doing?" Envy hissed into his new partner's ear, more than a little put out at the turn of events.

"We're dancing. What's so wrong with that?"

"Mum will kill me!"

"So enjoy your last moments on Earth." The music started up, and Ed wrapped his arm around Envy's waist. "Shall we?"

"We shall not!" Despite himself, though, his feet moved with Edward's when they began to dance.

Ed laughed softly. "You dance better as a girl."

"Oh, shut up!"

"That's not very nice, is it?"

"You're a smug bastard and I don't like you." Envy could feel people's stares, and he flushed red.

"Oh, relax. Are you worried about the paparazzi? Because there's nothing better than a little bit of scandal, though the fact that this counts as scandal in 2010 is admittedly a little sad."

Envy couldn't stop his feet moving even if he wanted to. "You're an absolute rascal, Edward Elric."

"It's why you like me."

"Unfortunately."

Their faces were very close, Envy noticed all of a sudden. Purple eyes and gold eyes – royal colours. The things you noticed dancing with a friend.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you want to be back in the chair?" asked Russell, pushing Lust back out into the ballroom.<p>

"It's fine, I'm okay now –" She cut herself off. "Look at that."

Envy and Ed were dancing, heads close and, of course, bantering as they did.

Russell looked down at Lust, who was smiling. "Look at them. Look at Envy. Have you seen him that happy before?"

"Whenever he's with Ed he definitely cheers up."

Lust rubbed her hands together. "Wonderful. It's wonderful!" She bent her head back until she was looking up at the blond. "I'm going to make sure that when I go, those two are where they belong."

"And where's that?"

"Oh, I'm sure you can figure it out." She kept watching the two boys, how close they were and the tenderness visible in their hands and fingers. "It won't take long."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Envy?"<p>

"Yeah?"

Ed leant his head slightly forward, resting his forehead against the other boy's. "Remember when you told me you weren't gay?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"You seem to be enjoying this."

Envy felt a spark run up his spine. "Well, you're a good dancer."

"Am I?"

"Better than me, anyway." Suddenly, the click of cameras invaded their bubble of music.

"Oh _shit._" Envy pulled his face away, cheeks hot, then stepped away from Ed and stuck his hands in his pocket. "Uh, looks like things are winding down. We should probably get going."

Ed stood awkwardly with his hands still out for a moment, and then lowered them. "I guess that makes sense." He looked around at the cameras, and debated giving them the finger, but decided against it. _I could _feel _his breath on my lips, I was that close! Holy shit…that was kind of terrifying in an awesome way. Stop it, Ed! Think about Roy…think about Roy…think about the CAMERAS EVERYWHERE…_

* * *

><p>A few moments later, they were back in Greed's car. The moment Ed's back touched the leather seat, he deflated, sinking down until his top hat fell over his eyes. "That was fun…but very, very stressful."<p>

Sloth unpinned her hair and shook it out, waves cascading down her back. "They always are – although I have to say, your dance with Envy definitely spiced things up."

He grinned, but Envy turned his head away, obviously uncomfortable. _I'm glad I didn't kiss him, _thought Ed, already regretting even making a move. _Lust and Russell look happy though…_

Lust was curled up with the British boy, nodding off on his shoulder. He was starting to drift off as well, Ed noticed, his eyes occasionally closing then opening again.

"Alright, here we are. Any of you other brats need a ride home?" asked Greed.

"No, I'm alright, thanks." Ed jabbed Elysia in the ribs before she had a chance to accept, and Russell shook his head by way of answer while helping Lust out of the car.

He took Sloth's hand before she went into the house. "Thank you for a wonderful night."

"I should be the one thanking you, Edward Elric." She took a step forward, unsure, then embraced him warmly.

"Don't be a stranger at school, alright?"

Sloth chuckled. "I'll try my best." She disappeared into the house, followed by Greed and his date who was apparently spending the night.

Envy stuck his hands in his pocket. "Well, I hope you had a good time."

"I did, I had a great time!" Elysia's face fell slightly. "I…wish you'd danced with me more…but it was still great!"

Envy's heart suddenly sank in his chest. Her face was angled upwards towards him, blue eyes glittering hopefully. She wanted him to kiss her.

_Maybe I should._

He leant down, and she closed her eyes in expectation – but then he placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her ever so slightly away.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "It's just…sorry."

Elysia opened her eyes. "You don't…"

"No." Envy sighed. "I'm sorry, Elysia, but it's not going to happen."

"But you asked me -!"

"Because I needed _someone _to!"

Elysia fell silent, lips quivering. "But…but…"

"I hope you had a good time though. As friends. But that's all it's ever going to be."

Elysia gave him a reproachful look, then turned and walked away, breaking into a run as she went down the road.

"Hey, wait –" Ed ran up to Envy, then stopped with a groan. "I forgot to give back the top hat – oh." He noticed Envy's downcast face. "You had to give her the friends talk, huh?"

Envy nodded dejectedly. "I'm a terrible person."

"Hey, it was the right thing to do. She's been after you since she was nine, but she's thirteen now – it's time to move on. And congrats on having the courage to do it, too."

Envy shrugged, but said nothing.

"Anyway, I'd better get going. But…thanks." Ed grinned, and in a moment of impetuousness, leant forward and kissed Envy on the cheek. "See you Monday!" He walked down the road, jacket flung over his shoulder and whistling merrily.

Envy blinked, raising his hand to his cheek. "What was_ that?_" Shaking his head, he walked into the house and pushed open the door to his room – only to burst into laughter.

Ed had managed to leave for home in a borrowed tuxedo with his clothes still scattered on Envy's bed.

_I'll take them over to his house tomorrow, _he decided, gathering them up and placing them on his chair. _Silly scatterbrained idiot._

He changed out of his formal clothes and crawled into bed without any thought of the forty-nine pills.


	8. Equivalent Exchange

**May 12th, 2012: Happy happy joy joy, YukinoKara hast risen from the dead and edited this chapter. Woo!**

**Another long chapter! Yay! Also – beginning of Part 2, yay ^^ Each part has seven chapters, and there will be seven parts. Therefore – forty-nine chapters!**

**Envyyyyy: Yes, yes it is! And the sinking of the EnvyxElysia ship isn't so much about age – I dated a man six years older than me and it was actually a pretty good relationship – and more about that they're just not very good about each other. You'll be seeing more about that later, though.**

**Malady Marksonne Malaprop****: Haha, I know, right? I love the pairing name, but it's not a very common pairing because their canons don't intersect. And damn, now I want this part to be set during winter so I can use that! Unfortunately it's early April for them. 'Announced' sounds very official for something I put on my profile, though XD**

**Wight's Wings: Oh, sorry, you just reminded me very much of one of my friends with that comment, haha. Thank you very much! I've always been someone who can write things very, very fast.**

**Tigerwulf: YES! We aerodynamic people will rule one day! Mwehehehehe… and I'm so, so happy that you're enjoying this. I love to make people happy The banter is my favourite part to write – I could write an entire story of them just sitting in a room and talking. **

**Linea Arlis: Russell and Lust was my favourite part to write ^^ And I would say I'll slow down, but I don't think anybody wants that XD**

**Part 2: Aoi Tori (Bluebird)**

**Chapter 8**

**Equivalent Exchange**

Ed was dozing happily on his bed, dreaming pleasant dreams of electric sheep, when his cellphone buzzed loudly on his bedside table, raucously invading his ears.

"Mrrrph. Mff mff, moomhd mumm." He let it ring a few times before grabbing it with his clumsy fingers and pressing the answer button.

"Yrr?" he grunted into the phone in a lackluster imitation of a greeting.

_"Hey, it's Envy. You left your clothes here."_

"Mhm, mhm," Ed nodded tiredly, words passing in one ear and out the other.

_"I'll bring them over now, is that alright?"_

"Mrff."

_"Also, in addition to your clothes, you seem to have lost your vowels somewhere."_

Ed opened his mouth wide. "Yarrf."

_"I'll be there in five."_

"Grmph." Ed proceeded to go back to sleep.

Five minutes later, Envy stood over Ed's completely prone form. "I _thought _he sounded weird on the phone…"

Al shook his head in frustration. "I'm sorry, he does this. He never gets enough sleep, and even after being out with you last night, he didn't actually go to bed until about four. Which means in the mornings, he's absolutely impossible."

Envy laughed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear and fiddling with his earring. He was wearing his headband today, but had on his same old hoodie over his skinny jeans. "He's got a lot of energy for someone who's always sleep-deprived." He looked up at Al. "So you're his brother, then?"

"Oh! Yes! Sorry!" Al offered his hand. "Alphonse Elric."

"Envy Angevin," he replied, shaking Al's hand with a wry smile.

"Angevin? Oh, so you're Wrath's brother. He's in the grade below me at school." Al tapped a finger against his chin. "So if you're called Envy and he's Wrath…do you have a brother called Gluttony?"

"No, thankfully. But we do have Lust, Sloth and Greed."

"Jeez."

Envy finally gave up waiting, and gave Ed a sharp poke in the ribs. He rolled over and blinked his eyes open blearily – only to just about hit the roof when he saw Envy. Jerking up in surprise, he attempted to get to his feet, only to get hopelessly tangled in his sheets and fall off the far side of the bed with a 'clunk'.

"Brother!" exclaimed Al.

Envy threw himself onto the bed, lying on his stomach and looking worriedly over the edge – only to break out into uncontrollable laughter.

Ed glared evilly up at him through the one eye exposed, the other covered with sheets. He looked somewhat like a mummy, albeit one with his legs stuck up in the air and arms trapped in the bedroom equivalent of a straitjacket.

Envy got himself under control with a light cough. "So…um…are you awake now?"

Ed pulled the sheet away from his mouth where it had somehow pulled tight. "_No. _I'm still asleep. What do you think, you freakin' palmtree?"

Envy pulled an exaggerated face, sticking his tongue out. "I'm not a palm-tree."

"You should dye your hair green, then you'd _really _look like one."

"Yes, because looking like foliage is particularly high on my to-do list." Envy brought his legs over and crouched down on the far side of the bed. "How do you even do this to yourself?"

"I'm a restless sleeper," muttered Ed, still not quite enunciating properly.

Envy shook his head. "See, only you can make the straitjacket look look good."

Ed frowned, but it quickly disappeared as Envy reached over and started disentangling him from the blankets. "W-wait, no, I'm good –"

"Don't be silly." Envy reached around Ed as he unwrapped him, arching his neck agonizingly close to the blond's face. Ed closed his eyes, reminding himself that Envy had no idea how much of a _tease _he was.

Suddenly Envy's eyes widened in concern. Ed looked down – and mentally cursed violently.

"What happened?" asked Envy, looking back up at Ed, who looked away.

"It's nothing." Ed got to his feet, picking up a shirt that was flung over the chair in the corner and pulling it on to cover the scars that interlaced his chest and upper arms. "Don't worry about it. It was a long time ago."

Envy glanced at Al, who shook his head as if to say _Don't press the issue. _The younger Elric left discreetly, muttering something about Bob Dylan.

"So why are you here again? Not that I don't like seeing you, but…bit early, don't you think?" asked Ed, pushing aside his curtain for a second only to see that it was a typical April morning, grey and miserable-looking.

"You don't remember?" Envy chuckled, seating himself on the edge of the bed. "I brought back your clothes, since you stole my tux yesterday."

"I did?" Ed thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry." He picked up a brush and started to run it through his hair. "So is Wrath feeling better?" he began to say, but then stopped. He turned towards Envy, who had a huge grin plastered on his face – and Ed's red coat pulled on.

Ed shook his head, although he was smiling. "You're silly." He walked over and putting on his hands on Envy's shoulders, slid the coat off of them. "Looks good on you. Maybe I'll let you borrow it some time."

"But not now?"

"Not now. I'm gonna need that tomorrow, unless we by some miracle get a heat wave."

Envy pouted, making Ed's heart skip a beat. To his horror, he felt a flush creeping up his cheeks…then realized that Envy was blushing.

He took a step back and fell gracefully into his chair, suddenly able to breathe a little easier. "Anyway, since you're here already, any chance you could help me with Chem?"

"Chemistry?"

"Yeah. I'm not doing so well."

"Haven't you gone to Professor Mustang for help at all?"

Ed swivelled the chair around to hide his snigger. "That bastard? I can barely stand having his class, let alone spending extra time with him."

"I see." Envy bent over him, one hand resting on his shoulder and long hair sliding down in a curtain as he smiled sardonically. "Maybe you should try not getting so many detentions with him, then."

"I – what do you mean? Not my fault he hates me."

"Really." Envy had a knowing look on his face. "He hates you?"

"Stop asking so many questions." Ed's face was bright red now. Lying to Ling and Russell was easy enough – Russell was sharp, but too apathetic to put any effort in figuring things out, and Ling was off in his own little candy-and-rainbow world most of the time. Envy, however, had both the smarts and the interest to figure it out – not to mention that he was disarming enough to make it very, very difficult not to tell the truth.

"I've got my secrets," he continued, "just like you've got yours."

"Okay." Envy kept smiling that half-smile of his, eyes flickering with mischief. He sat on the floor, leaning his head against the arm of the chair. "I'll tell you one of mine for one of yours."

Ed looked down at him incredulously. "You're kidding, right?"

"No." The way his purple eyes glimmered through the pale blond strands made Ed think of stories of ghosts and elves and faeries, or more ominously, of vampires and other folk tales. "Ask me a question, and I'll answer it truthfully. Then I ask you one. Equivalent exchange."

"Why?"

Envy averted his eyes, and the piece of paper appeared in Ed's mind. _What do butterflies dream of?_

"Fine, fine. I get to go first though." Ed rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He didn't want to start too big. "What's in that notebook of yours?"

"My _notebook? _Poetry, sketches, stuff like that. I expected you to start with something a bit less obvious." Envy shrugged. "My turn!"

Ed steeled himself for what was inevitably coming.

"Who's your boyfriend?" Was that…a hint of _jealousy _in Envy's question, hidden behind playfulness? _Don't be stupid. Course not. He's straight. Yeah. Completely straight._

"Um…any results of this little, you know, game – they're strictly confidential, right?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell," promised Envy, crossing his heart solemnly.

"I'm dead serious. We'd both get in _so _much trouble."

Envy frowned, and then gasped. "Roy _Mustang?_ Professor Mustang? You're dating a teacher?"

"Shush! Not so loud! I haven't told Al…"

"You. Are dating. A _teacher. Our _teacher." Envy was completely nonplussed, staring up at Ed with an emotion that he couldn't quite place.

"Yeah."

"Do you have _any _idea what a _stupid _idea that is? He's got to be twice your age!"

"He's twenty-seven!"

"And you're seventeen! That's still ten years!"

"Look," Ed growled, "I told you my secret. You keep it safe, and don't get on my case. Alright? I like Roy, I like him a lot. I'm not about to let a stupid little age difference or him being a teacher get in the way."

Envy sighed. "I suppose that's fair enough. Still, wow. That's…wow."

"Hey, it's my turn again, isn't it?" At Envy's nod, Ed vaulted into his question. "Why are you afraid of Greed?"

His back stiffened, and the playfulness disappeared instantly to be replaced with a haunting look of suspicion. "I'm not afraid of Greed."

"I saw how you avoided being near him."

"I don't _like _him very much, is all. I'm not afraid of him." Envy crossed his arms indignantly. "I'm not afraid of anybody."

"Come on," said Ed. "this game is hardly fair if I'm completely truthful and you're not."

"I…I…" Envy stammered, falling backwards onto his elbows and looking for all the world like a deer caught in headlights.

Ed slid out of the chair and onto his knees. He reached forward, and then stopped as Envy flinched. Slowly, gently, he took Envy's hand in his own and lifted his arm.

"What are you doing?"

Ed didn't say anything, but pushed up the sleeve of Envy's oversized hoodie. On the pale, fragile skin underneath, there were red marks that looked suspiciously like fingerprints. Even as Ed watched, they were turning the blue-black of bruises.

"I was wondering why you were here so early," murmured Ed. Envy yanked his arm away, and Ed let him. "Are those the only ones?"

Envy muttered something inaudible.

"Sorry?"

"Only ones from this morning," he said again.

"What happened?"

"I dunno. Something pissed him off. I was there. He grabbed my arm, and tried to keep me there, but I managed to get away. So then I left and came here. I called you on the way." He tugged down the sleeve of the hoodie, hiding the bruises from sight again.

"But that's not the first time Greed's taken his frustration out on you?"

Envy shook his head. "He leaves Sloth and Lust alone. They're girls, and Lust is sick. Wrath and I, though…" He scowled.

"I'm sorry."

Envy glared at him. "Why are you sorry? Nothing to do with you. Besides, it's not that bad."

"Not that bad? Are you kidding me?"

"It used to be worse." Envy pulled his knees up to his chest. "So, yes, I'm afraid of him. He's big and he's angry and he's a drunk. Now it's my turn. Why did you decide to be my friend?"

Ed wanted to press the subject, but he knew a bad idea when he saw one. "What does that even mean?"

"You stood up to Kimbley for me. And I get that. You can't bear to see anyone get picked on."

_Damn kid should be a psychologist, _thought Ed gruffly.

"But after that, you could have just left me alone. Instead you went out of your way to say hello to me, to get to know me, and now…well…" Happiness bloomed on Envy's face for a moment. "But why? I mean, we've been in the same schools and neighbourhood for so many years and now all of a sudden you want to spend time with me. Why?"

Ed's eyes flicked up to his desk drawer. _I could show him. The piece of paper – it's from his notebook. His words that told me – asked me, indirectly or not – to help him._

_ But then it looks like I pity him. And that's…that's not the case at all. Yes, he's my little stray, but he's also beautiful and deadly and holy shit he might kill me if he finds out that I know he wanted to kill himself…_

"Well?" demanded Envy, and Ed squeezed his eyes shut.

"Um…well…see, when I was facing off against Kimblee –" His sentence was cut off by the ringing of the doorbell. "Oh gee, would you look at that!" he said nervously with false cheer. "I'd better get that."

He got to his feet and left the room, breathing out in relief that he'd managed to extricate himself from the situation.

"Don't think you can get off that easily," hissed Envy from behind him.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he replied, coaxing a smile from the thin boy.

As he stepped down onto the first stair, he heard Al open the door.

"Hello?" Al's greeting drifted up the stairs. "I'm sorry, I don't…Are you looking for Ed?"

"I want my brother down here. Now!" The gruff growl of a voice sounded oddly familiar to Ed. Suddenly, he sensed that Envy was no longer behind him.

He turned around, only to see his friend half-hidden behind his bedroom door. "Oh no," he whispered, quickly rushing over to the door.

"It's Greed, isn't it?" Ed said in a low voice. Envy nodded, face pale.

"I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, ENVY!" bellowed Greed from downstairs.

Ed reached through and gave Envy's hand a squeeze. "I'll get him to leave us alone." Then he sprinted down the stairs.

Greed had forced his way through the doorway, eyes behind round sunglasses flicking back and forth in a manner that seemed not quite right. In the room so suited to the smaller frames of the Elric boys, he was a giant, the muscles in his exposed arms superdefined and a shadow of stubble along his jaw.

He hadn't looked so terrifying the night before, at the gala.

"Oi!" Ed projected as he walked down the stairs, hand trailing on the banister. "Envy's busy right now – he's helping me with Chemistry." He walked right up to Greed, even though he had to look almost straight up to make eye contact with the tall man.

"Yeah, well, he needs to come home with me now." His voice was slurred, blurry with…alcohol, Ed suspected, despite how early it still was.

_How do I handle this? He's obviously incapacitated in some way right now, and the way he barged in…_

"I think the only person who _needs _to do anything right now, Mr. Angevin," said Ed in a calm voice, although his anger was already almost at boiling point, "is you. I don't take kindly to anyone, even casual acquaintances, forcing their way into my home."

"I'm just here for my brother."

"Then call him, or find some way of behaving that doesn't make you look like a boorish idiot. But right now, I'd like you to leave my home."

Greed reached up and lowered his sunglasses, glaring at Ed with bloodshot eyes. "Make me."

"I'm only going to ask one more time," he replied, already tensing up in anticipation. "Please leave."

"Wait!" Ed swivelled around, his adrenaline levels already rising – and his heart sank. Envy was walking down the stairs, face drawn but determined.

Greed placed his hands on his hips. "There you are, you little monster. Don't you ever answer your phone?"

Envy ignored him. He gave Ed a look, then silently, without even a parting wave or farewell, walked out of the door after Greed, closing it behind him. One last draft of cold air hit Ed in the face.

"What was _that?_" asked Al incredulously. He was still holding a dishcloth, which he flung over his shoulder.

"A situation. A bad one." Suddenly, Ed darted back up the stairs.

"Wait, Ed! Where are you going?"

Ed pushed open his door, letting the handle smash into the plaster wall, and grabbed the notebook that lay on the floor. He turned to Al and held it up.

"Envy _never _goes anywhere without this. Even at the gala he had it in his inside pocket. He brought it here, with him, even though he was in a rush. This is his single most important and valuable possession."

"Then why do you have it?"

"He _left it here. _He just walked out of here and left it behind."

Al frowned. "Ed, what have you gotten yourself into now?"

Ed ignored him, brushing his fingers over the cover of the notebook. "Something is wrong. More than what he told me." He tapped the book and looked up at Al. "Should I?"

The brown-haired boy sighed. "Look, Ed, I know you want to help other people as much as you can…but I think this might be out of your hands."

"Fuck that," he growled, "Envy's my friend…possibly my _best _friend."

"Already?" Al narrowed his eyes. "Ed, did you take your pills this morning? You seem less…reserved."

It hadn't even occurred to him. "No, I forgot, since Envy was here. I didn't take them last night either."

"Take them now."

"_Hell _no. I've got to worry about Envy right now, and I can't afford to have those things slowing down my brain!"

"Edward –" Al started to say, but then hung his head. Fighting his brother on this would lead nowhere.

Ed flipped open the book to the first page.

"Bet you're wondering why you have to come home."

Envy remained stubbornly silent, even when Greed ruffled his hair.

"Man, you still look so cute in my old sweater. I would have thought you'd grow into it by now. I guess you're doomed to always be a little beansprout."

"What do you want?" Envy asked, quiet voice nearly lost in the wind.

"That can wait."

The first page was a profile – an excellent one – of a man with spiked-up hair and pointed teeth. His eyes had a predatory glint to them visible even in simple black-and-white, and a pair of small horns curled up from above his ears.

It was undeniably Greed.

Ed flipped the page over.

_anger, red, please_

_ on hands and knees_

_ you're just so greedy for everything you can_

_ wrath unleashed_

_ envious beast_

_ you're just such a_

_ greedy_

_ greedy_

_ greedy man._

"The piercings suit you."

"Thank you," said Envy automatically, and then paled.

Greed laughed sardonically. "You like it when I compliment you?"

Envy bent his head down, knowing no answer was better than anything else.

"Oh, here we are." Greed leant down until his breath tickled the back of Envy's neck. "You first…my dear, _dear _little monster."

The next page.

The same man, the same devil-warped Greed – and by his feet, curled into a ball, a boy with long blond hair and a skeletal figure. Envy. Except Envy didn't have a pair of torn, bleeding wings attached to his back.

The next.

Envy again, with six pairs of hands – one pair firmly clasped over his eyes, one over his mouth, one over his ears. In the background, an open door, and through it, a grinning black silhouette on a bed, doing something to…someone. The only thing visible of the victim was a white arm hanging off of the bed, clutching onto the hind leg of a headless teddy-bear.

The next.

_Waiting in the dark, in the silence and the gloom_

_ Hearing cries and whispers from the next-door room_

_ When will you come for me? Or have I been spared?_

_ Would I take his pain, or let it be shared?_

_ Do not touch me, for I think I may scream_

_ We were once close, but the space between_

_ Is filled with red eyes and white teeth and grasping hands_

_ Yours is a mind I cannot understand._

_ Where is your heart? Where is your soul?_

_ Did some creature take my brother and swallow him whole?_

_ Do you feel regret? Do you know he's in pain?_

_ Can you see how he's broken and tortured with shame?_

_ I wear your clothes as badge of nostalgia and pride_

_ But waiting in the darkness for your hands…here I lie._

Envy stepped through the door, and no sooner had he gotten his shoes off than Greed grabbed his arm and started pulling him.

"Wait – stop –" He fought back, but to no avail.

"Oh, calm down, will ya!" The words had quite the opposite effect on Envy, who scratched at Greed's arm and kicked at his legs. In response, Greed encircled him with his powerful arms and picked him up with almost no effort, carrying him into Wrath's room and throwing him onto the bed.

"Jeez, you really just won't stay still, will you?" Greed leant down over his brother, sweeping the seventeen-year-old's hair out of the way of his face. Envy could smell the cheap beer on him, clinging like a second skin.

"How about a kiss, my pretty little thing?" Envy tried to push at him, but the older man grabbed his small wrists and pinned them above his head.

"Where's Wrath?" hissed Envy. "What have you done with him?"

"He was behaving badly. So I put him in the closet."

For the first time, Envy noticed that the door to Wrath's closet was rattling. He looked back at Greed, hate pouring off of him. "You sick son of a bitch."

"Now, now, let's not talk like that." Greed crawled up on the bed until he was on top of Envy, his heavy weight making him want to puke. "Come on, play nice," he pleaded.

Envy proceeded to bite Greed's exposed arm.

"FUCK!" Greed pulled the offended limb back, and then slapped Envy across the face. "What the _fuck _was that for, you brat?"

"Get off of me. Now."

"I don't think so." Greed reached down towards his belt and in a swift motion, pulled a knife and held its point to Envy's throat. "Now will you behave?" There was that pleading tone to his voice again.

Envy gulped, Adam's apple bobbing and tears stinging at his eyes. _Not me. Not me. Not me. Fuck, please –_

_Please, NO!_

Ed dropped the notebook as if he'd been burned, then leapt immediately to his feet, breaking into a run for the door.

"Wait, Ed -!"

He ignored his brother. Only one thing mattered.

_If that bastard has touched Envy…if that bastard has hurt him…_ Ed's eyes reflected red as he skidded to a stop and turned the corner.

_Then he's going to __**pay**_.

"There. Isn't that better?" Greed's hand snaked up his shirt, having unzipped the sweater moments before. "Don't act like you don't enjoy it," he slurred. "I know you're a little faggot."

Envy couldn't move, pinioned as he was by the knife-point.

The rattling in the closet intensified. _Thump…Thump…Thump…_

Greed's cold fingers circled a particularly sensitive spot on Envy's chest, and he chuckled at the boy's reaction. "Right, and you're not enjoying this."

_Thump._

_ Thump._

_ CRASH. _

The door came bursting open, Wrath with it. The twelve-year-old stumbled to the floor, then sprang back up again, charging at Greed.

"Leave – Envy – _alone!" _He threw himself at Greed's waist, causing the man to roll off of Envy – and the knife to be pulled away from his throat.

"Ack! Wrath, stop it!' Wrath was pummelling at Greed with his tiny fists, some of them impacting and others missing their target completely. Greed sat up – and Envy drew up his knees, and then kicked him square in the chest.

Greed and Wrath both went over the end of the bed. There was a soft 'thunk' sound, and a split second later, somebody screamed.

Ed was nearly at the Angevin mansion. Just a few metres more – and there!

The door had been left slightly ajar. Fuelled by adrenaline, he simply ran through it – and skidded to a horrified stop.

The door to Wrath's bedroom was wide open. Wrath himself was on the floor, a pool of blood growing under him as he shifted around in throes of pain. Greed had Envy by the neck, lifting him slowly from the ground.

"YOU BASTARD! Look at what you did!"

"I…didn't…" gasped Envy, desperately struggling for air.

"If you hadn't kicked me…!"

Ed had seen and heard enough. "PUT HIM DOWN!" he yelled, running into the room and driving his fist into Greed's stomach.

He dropped Envy, who began to cough and splutter before crawling towards Wrath.

Greed looked up at Ed, and then aimed a punch at the teenager's head. "The fuck you doing here, blondie? Want to join in the fun?"

"Oh yes, absolutely," he retorted, dodging the punch and ramming Greed's chest with a full body-slam. The 20-year-old smashed into the wall, head ricocheting off the stucco. He sank to the floor, completely poleaxed.

Ed wiped his mouth. "Bastard." He turned to Envy. "Is he alright?"

Envy nodded, and Wrath turned to look up at Ed, showing him that the knife had slashed him in the arm.

Ed knelt down beside the middle-schooler. "We'd better get that bound up before you lose any more blood. Envy, do you have any bandages around?"

Envy got shakily to his feet. "I'll go check."

Ed carefully examined the wound. "It's not too deep. Looks like you'll be fine."

Wrath looked up at him, purple eyes wide and his breathing shallow. "W-will I have to go to hospital?"

"Do you want to?"

"I don't like hospitals."

"Then we don't have to." Ed kept pressure on it, glancing towards the door for a sign of Envy's return. "Hey, Wrath…it's Wrath, right?"

He nodded. "Mhm."

"How about you, me and Envy go to my house for a bit? So we don't have to be here when this bozo wakes up?"

"W-would that be alright?"

Ed nodded, smiling as encouragingly as possible. "You know Al, right? He's my brother, and we'll take care of your arm."

"What about…what about the rest of me?" Wrath's eyes were filled with tears.

"That too."

Envy walked back in, and threw Ed the bandages. "Here." As Ed was tying the bandages around Wrath's arm, the long-haired teen sat down and stared at the unconscious Greed.

"What am I going to do _now?_" he whispered, but Ed heard him.

"You," he enunciated as clearly as he dared, "are coming to my house and spending the night there."

"What – how do you get off on bossing me around?"

Ed tied the bandages with a final pull. "You left your notebook, Envy. You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"I…I just wanted you to know! Not…not…not stride in like John Wayne!"

"And what would have happened if I hadn't?" Ed met Envy's gaze and held it. "I'm _worried _about you. Fuck that, I think I'm beyond worried. I'm not letting you stay in the same house as this creep."

Envy's vision began to blur, and he realized dully that he was starting to cry. "You never answered my question from before," he choked out.

"About why I'm your friend?"

Envy nodded.

Ed reached out and wiped one of the tears from Envy's face – which only served to make him cry all the harder.

"Because I wanted to be."

The terror, fear and shame that adrenaline had pushed away returned in full force. Envy couldn't stop the tears from running down his face or the sobs from shaking his body. He squeezed his eyes shut, and Ed held him close, stroking his hair and letting him cling onto his shirt and cry.

"Come on. Let's go home."

Dumbly, Envy took Ed's hand and allowed himself to be led. Through the door…down the street, under the parasol of the grey sky…towards the little house with a slate roof.


	9. Quandary

**May 12th, 2012: Happy happy joy joy, YukinoKara hast risen from the dead and edited this chapter. Woo!**

**Malady Marksonne Malaprop: Yeah, it's a lot sadder, and there's a couple reasons for that. I'm quite a bit older now than when I started Seven Reasons, which means I realize just how serious a lot of the issues I touch on are. Especially in a fic like this, where they are in essence the plot, it's important that I don't gloss over the emotional impact. I'm glad you like it anyway though :D **

**Part 2: Aoi Tori (Bluebird)**

**Chapter 9**

**Quandary**

_These eyes have seen too much_

_Ears heard the screams I cannot silence_

_This tongue has not said enough_

_I cannot end this needless violence_

_These hands have not done enough_

_I cannot save myself from hell_

_But if I end a victim's suffering_

_Should I end my own as well?_

_Where is the edge, so I may leap?_

_Where is the edge, so I may cross?_

_Into unknown lands, where darkness_

_Shall have no holding in my heart._

Ed closed the notebook, unwilling to read more. The first half of Envy's notebook read like a suicide journal, a perfect chronicle of his final descent into complete depression.

_I wonder what stopped him in the end. I can't be arrogant enough to think it was me._

He looked up, expression softening as he looked at Envy. The blond was sleeping in the same bed that he'd pushed Ed out of that morning, having passed out a few minutes after crossing the threshold of the Elric home. His long eyelashes flickered slightly as his eyes roved around his lids, dreaming.

Ed sunk even further into his armchair, listening to the faint sound of voices – the higher one Al's, the lower one belonging to Wrath in a strange reversal of expectations. The minute Alphonse had seen Wrath and the cut in his arm, he'd taken over, bustling Wrath into the bathroom to properly clean out the injury.

Ed groaned and clasped his hand to his forehead. He'd known from the start that things weren't quite right with the Angevin family, but he hadn't expected something _this _bad. The eldest daughter dying…the eldest brother abusing his siblings in ways that made Ed feel sick to think about…

"M-Mr. Elric, sir?" came a faint and quavering voice from the doorway. Wrath stood there, arm in a sling and bruises on his face already darkening, and Al protectively behind him. The youngest Angevin certainly didn't look his age – if Ed hadn't known that he was only a year younger than Alphonse, he would have placed him nearer eight than thirteen.

"Just call me Ed. What's up?"

"Th-thank you." He smiled shyly, the bags under his purple eyes like charcoal smudges and thick, matted black hair hanging over half of his face.

"Hey, it's no problem. How's your arm?"

"Mr. Al says I should keep it in a sling for a week." Wrath's face fell. "I guess that means I have to tell Lust what happened."

"Well, isn't that for the best?"

Wrath shook his head.

"Aren't you going to go to the police?" asked Ed, getting a strange feeling.

His eyes widened. "No! Why?"

It was all Ed could do not to gape. "Greed _stabbed _you!"

"It…it was an accident! It was my fault, I ran into him!" stammered Wrath.

Ed took a deep breath, feeling rage begin to rise inside of him – not at the boy in front of him, but at Greed. "Here, sit down. How about you tell me what happened."

Wrath sunk into himself a bit, but Al gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He took a few steps in and perched himself nervously on the swivel-chair. "Um…well, this morning G-Greed got mad at me be…because I wouldn't do what he wanted me to." He didn't elaborate – probably for the better. "He…he, um…He locked me in the closet, and I guess he tried to go find Envy, but he'd already come here. So Greed went to get him, and then I heard them come back in." Wrath started scratching at his arms, probably subconsciously. "He was saying…bad things…to Envy. The, the same things he says to me sometimes. So I broke down the closet door –" He stopped, turning red at Ed's astonished expression, and smiled sheepishly. "I don't know. I just kept throwing myself at it until it fell down. And…I started hitting Greed. He was…" He gulped. "He was on top of Envy. But then Envy kicked him and we both fell down and…yeah." He pointed to his arm.

"I don't understand," said Al. "Why did Greed have a knife out in the first place?"

"He had it to Envy's throat."

At those six words, Ed got to his feet, eyes blazing, and started heading for the door. Al grabbed him, blocking the doorway as much as he could. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to find that son of a bitch and give him a thrashing to go with the headache he's already got!"

"No, Ed!" Al managed to push Ed backwards and back down into the chair. "You're probably already going to get in trouble for what you did to him! Don't make it worse!"

Ed growled. "I can't help it. That _fucker…_" He sighed and looked up at Wrath. "Why the _hell_ don't you want to go to the police?"

"Because…because…" Wrath rubbed at his eyes. "I don't want anybody else to know! You m-must think I'm so stupid for l-letting him…"

"No, not at all," Al reassured him. Ed was silent, gripping the arms of his chair. Al gave him a look, and then smiled down at Wrath. "How about I make us some dinner? Do you want to help?"

Wrath perked up immediately. "I'd love to! I love cooking!" He quailed, "are you sure it's alright?"

"Yes, yes, of course! My brother is _terrible _at it – he could burn salad if you leave him alone long enough." They walked away, leaving Ed still burning with cold fury.

_How badly did he hurt you? _He thought, clenching his fists. _Please, please…let me have gotten there in time._

* * *

><p>Envy woke up with a start, eyes opening to show him only a blank white ceiling. He sat up, breathing hard as the last vestiges of his nightmare faded away, and then looked around in confusion.<p>

"Where am I?" he asked dully. His head felt foggy.

"Oh, hello, you're awake." He snapped his head towards the armchair, where Ed looked nonchalantly up from his book. "How are you feeling?"

"Strange."

"That'll be the shock. You're in my room, by the way, if you're feeling a bit disoriented."

Envy raised his hand to his face, staring at it intently, and then looked back at Ed. "What…happened?"

"Greed happened." Ed picked up the notebook and held it up, his gaze still focused on the novel in his lap. "You left this behind. I went to return it to you and found Wrath bleeding and Greed beating the shit out of you."

"But…I…" Suddenly it came flooding back, Envy's face going pale as it did. "Oh god. I'm so sorry."

He looked up, gold eyes both warm and cold at the same time. "Don't be. It's not your fault." His expression, though, made Envy wonder whether he really thought so.

"I…" Envy swallowed. "I could have dealt with it myself."

"Like hell you could have!" Ed snapped, his novel tumbling to the ground. He put down the notebook still in his hand, a slight quiver in his arm. "He had you by the _throat. _And Wrath told me about the knife - that miserable bastard had it to your neck."

"Well, thank you," he responded coldly. "for acting the white knight." He couldn't clear his head.

"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" Ed got to his feet, irises flashing passionately. "I read it, Envy! I read your goddamned notebook! And I…I…" He ran both hands through his hair then clenched them, tugging at his blond locks. "Fuck it, I ran so fast, just – I didn't even want to let you leave with him, and that was _before…_before…"

To Envy's shock, he realized that there were tears streaming down Ed's face.

"I'm sorry," Ed said after a moment of silence, and then walked out of the room.

_Fuck, _Envy's head hurt. That didn't stop him from feeling angry – if anything, it made it worse.

Then, as if Ed's outburst was a gust of wind, the clouds rolled away. Envy pulled the sheets off his legs and followed him. He stood on the landing for a moment in confusion, unsure of which way he'd gone, until he heard a t_hump…thump…thump…_from a room down the hall.

He walked over slowly, pushing the half-closed door slightly open. Ed was standing in the middle, driving his fists into a punching bag with enough force to send the bag flying up with every blow. His face was a steely mask, but the tightness in his shoulders and the vehemence of his attacks showed his anger in clear and bold strokes.

After a moment, he stopped, halting the punching bag's swing with a flattened palm. He looked up at Envy, tears gone but eyes still red, and smiled wryly. "I've named it Greed for now."

Envy didn't dare make eye contact. "I didn't ask for your help."

"Didn't you? I may not be a poet but I can tell a cry for help when I hear one."

"Then maybe you should get your ears checked," retorted Envy, voice laced with bitterness.

Ed closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again. "Come here."

Envy obeyed, stepping into the room and walking up to Ed – only to be caught in a bone-crushing embrace that pinned his hands to his sides.

"I care about you, dumbass." Ed's breath tickled his ear as he murmured softly. "I'm not trying to make you a…a project."

Envy's breath caught. "How did you –"

"Know what you were thinking?" Ed released him, sticking his hands into his pockets. "You're not the only one who's needed help, ya know." He twisted his toe into the ground. "I was in a really bad place awhile ago and…yeah, I got some help."

"So that's why you're helping me."

"In part. In part because I like you. In part because you're incredibly talented. In part because…" Ed rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, I'm lonely too. But enough about me." His face turned serious. "What are you going to do?"

"About what?"

"Not you too," groaned Ed. "I've already got Wrath insisting that we don't go to the police and that it's his fault."

"The kid got _stabbed! _Maybe now's not the time!"

"I know, I know, sorry. I've never done this before."

Envy rubbed his arm, chuckling half-heartedly at his friend's sincerity. "I don't really want to go to the police either…"

"What? How come?"

"It's just…I'd have to talk to them and tell them, right? And…"

Ed placed a finger under his chin, turning and lifting it until they made eye contact. "Envy, what did he do to you?"

He was speechless for a moment, but pushed Ed's hand away with a half-smile. "Nothing too bad. Don't worry."

The words rang hollow, and Ed didn't quite look like he believed him. "Alright. So you don't want to go to the police. So that's it, then? You'll go back home and hope Greed doesn't pin me for assault?"

Envy wanted to say yes. He wanted things not to change – to just deal with things his way, the same way, the usual way…

But…

"Wrath."

"Hm?"

"I could go home." Envy scratched unconsciously at his arm. "I could deal with it. I'm old enough. And he won't try again, not after today. But Wrath…"

Ed nodded. "I saw your pictures."

A stab of guilt. "I shouldn't have drawn them."

"Why? This way Wrath doesn't have to tell me."

"But it was supposed to be…" Envy struggled with the words. "a secret."

"A _secret?_" A look of horror appeared on Ed's face. "Envy, do Lust and Sloth know about this?"

"I…I don't know. I think Sloth does. Lust…I don't think so." Seeing the expression on Ed's face, Envy snapped, "What would _you _have done? Lust's ill, and neither Sloth nor I can do anything! You saw how easily he pushes _me _around, and Sloth's even smaller!"

"Okay, okay. But, see, now I know – and if Al has any brains at all he'll figure it out. And now…well, now you have an option." Ed took Envy's hand, pulling it away from his arm which was now covered with red marks from his bitten and jagged nails. "When's your birthday, Envy?"

"Uh, next May."

"That's a bit more than a year. We can do that."

"Do what?"

Ed grinned. "Stay with us until you turn eighteen. Then you can move out and Wrath can go with you."

And suddenly it was like Envy's entire world had been blown open.

"What do you think?"

Think? What did he think? That it had even been a possibility to leave that shadow-wreathed house of horrors, to leave his scream-infested walls and hollow smiles and greetings behind? To step out into another world, a world of sunlight and freedom…to be able to smile without wondering who was watching and who was judging…to have a place that felt safe…to come to this place that for some reason, for some strange, unfathomable yet obvious reason, felt like a home he'd been away from for far too long?

What did he think?

"I know there's a few kinks in the idea, but Hohenheim leaves us enough money that it shouldn't be a problem."

"I don't deserve you," said Envy breathlessly.

"S-sorry?" asked Ed with a chuckle, blood rising in his cheeks.

"You, Edward Elric, are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am never, ever going to let you forget it." Envy wrapped his arms around the shorter boy, warmth suffusing his body.

"H-hey, don't go…aw man, I'm all self-conscious now," he joked.

"Oh, shut up, I'm being sappy."

"You're entitled." Ed hugged him back, ignoring the stream of questions and problems that were already offering themselves up in the back of his mind.

Those could wait.


	10. Marilyn Monroe

**May 16th, 2012: Happy happy joy joy, YukinoKara hast risen from the dead and edited this chapter. Woo!**

**Haha, I really am on a roll XD**

**If you want to read something darker, try Cut Me Off by WingedBonnie – it hasn't been updated since 2007, sadly, and ends at a particularly brutal point, but it's incredibly well-written and touches on a few of the same subjects as this story. BE WARNED THOUGH: It is rated M for a reason. It is also incredibly dark – not angsty teen darkness with Evanescence and Within Temptation in the background dark (which has its place), but serious fucked-up-ness. I was actually incredibly messed up for a bit after reading it yesterday, just because it was so powerful and so terrifying.**

**Tigerwulf: I feel so appreciated ^w^ *tears of joy* **

**Linea Arlis: The duality is a pretty integral part of my writing, I've noticed. And you gotta love Ed, he's just such a sweetheart 3 And I will definitely try! I actually know where this is going now so I'm excited to get there – also terrified that if I slow down I'll forget about it again ****L**

**what-is-the-colour-of-love: Haha, thank you. Just let me know when it gets too sappy, kay? XD**

**Part 2: Aoi Tori (Blue Bird)**

**Chapter 10**

**Marilyn Monroe**

"Ed! Envy!" Wrath's distinctive voice called up the stairs. "Dinner is ready!"

Ed's stomach grumbled by way of answer, and with a laugh, he gave Envy a pat on the shoulder. "Come on, let's grab some grub."

"I…I'm not hungry."

He raised an eyebrow. "When was the last time you ate? It's past noon now and there's no way you had any time for breakfast." Ed thought back to the day before. "Did you eat at the gala last night? There wasn't much there other than finger food."

Envy could feel a blush creeping over his face again. "I, uh, forget to eat sometimes."

"And now you claim you're not hungry? Come on, Al's cooking is absolutely divine." Ed grabbed Envy's hand and pulled him along.

The table was set for five, with a steaming casserole dish of macaroni and cheese the middle surrounded by bowls of vegetables – peas, corn and beans. Wrath smiled proudly as Envy walked in. "What do you think, Envy?"

"I think that that smells absolutely fantastic." He sat down next to Ed, who already had his knife and fork at the ready.

Al rapped Ed smartly on the back of the hand. "_Manners, _brother."

"But…I'm hungry…" whined Ed.

Shaking his head in exasperation, Al served Envy a big helping of macaroni. "I was telling Wrath – guests first and cooks last. Envy, try some."

Envy blinked, and then put some of the pasta in his mouth.

_Holy crap._

He continued to eat, stopping a few forkfuls later and swallowing. "Er. Sorry. I guess I'm…hungrier than I thought."

Al laughed, sitting down and pulling the apron off of his neck, then leaning over to untie Wrath's (who couldn't due to his sling). "It's good to see somebody appreciates my cooking!"

"Heyy, I appreciate your cooking!"

"A little _too _much."

Ed pouted, then dug in – causing Envy to stop and marvel for a moment at how someone so _short _could fit so much food inside of him.

"I know wha' yer thinkin'," he said around a mouthful of food. He suddenly winced as Al kicked him under the table, and swallowed. "I mean, I know what you're thinking. Don't say it."

"What, that you should be a lot taller for all the food you eat?"

"YOU SAID IT! DAMN YOU, STOP CALLING ME A MINISCULE RUNT!"

On cue, Al pointed to the untouched glass. "Maybe you wouldn't be if you drank your milk."

"I'M NOT DRINKING COW PISS!"

Envy continued to laugh at Ed's expense, marvelling at how easy it was already. His heart panged a bit when he imagined what a dinner with his family had been like the few times they'd actually had them.

But he didn't need to worry about that anymore. And – although he'd never admit it out loud – the Elric boys already felt more like family than anyone else he'd ever known.

* * *

><p>Once they'd finished, Envy wordlessly started to wash the dishes, ignoring both Ed and Al's protests. After they had finally resigned to the idea that he was going to make himself helpful, Ed interlaced his fingers and rested his chin upon them.<p>

"Envy, Wrath, we need to have a discussion."

Envy looked over his shoulder at the table. "A discussion?"

"You want to stay here, right?"

Wrath nodded shyly.

"And I'd love for you to stay. But…" Ed took a deep breath. "The police are going to be looking for you two. Envy can go where he wants since he's over sixteen, but Wrath…"

The thirteen-year-old's face fell, and he hung his head. "Oh. I have to go home –"

"_Hell _no!"

His head snapped back up. Ed's eyes were fiery. "If you want to, sure, but hell if I'll let you be forced back there!"

"But…then…how?" Wrath asked hesitantly. Envy kept working, scrubbing a tough spot over and over again as he listened intently.

"Well, there're a few options. You've already said you don't want to go to the police, but you could – the problem is you'd then go into a foster-home."

"No!" Envy burst out. "No foster-homes!"

Ed blinked. "That's…that's fair enough, although I really think it should be Wrath's call. You wouldn't go into one anyway, Envy."

Envy subsided into embarrassed silence. Martel had had enough horror stories about her experience with foster homes before her oldest sister had come of age for him to have an instinctive hatred of them.

Ed continued. "What we could _also _do is…well. It's not strictly legal. We could get in trouble."

"What is it?" asked Wrath breathlessly.

"Disguise yourselves – both of you, since they'll know you'll be together. Keep going to school, keep learning, keep growing – but as somebody else."

"Would that work?" Envy couldn't keep the scepticism from leaking into his voice. "Surely the police can't be that stupid. And disguises aren't nearly convincing enough…"

"Not usually." Ed broke into a Cheshire-cat grin. "But, see, they're looking for two _boys._"

Envy was silent for a moment, processing what had been said, and then dropped the fork he'd been cleaning into the water. "Hell. No."

"It's the only disguise that will convince _anyone_ – and only if you can act to go along with it."

"Acting, I can do. But – hell no!" Envy growled. His treacherous mind, however, was already running with the possibilities.

Wrath was a bit slower on the uptake. "Wait, you want us to be…be girls?"

"Exactly."

"Sounds fun! I'll do it!" He looked at his arm wryly. "I guess my arm has to get better first, though."

"Wait, _what?_" Envy stared at his brother in shock. "Y-you actually _want _to do it?"

Wrath returned Envy's look. "You don't?"

"If you want to dress up in girl-clothes, feel free. But hell will have to _freeze _over before I ever do that!"

Ed frowned. "I suppose we could figure something out for you, but that would probably involve cutting your hair."

Envy's hands immediately flew to his long hair protectively, only to be lowered again as Wrath snorted. "Oh, shut up. Yours is just as long."

"Yeah, but I'll cut it no problem." Wrath got a considering look. "Maybe if I get a bob and thin it out…"

"HOW FLAMBOYANT CAN YOU GET?"

"Envy, calm down."

He sucked in his lips. "Sorry. I…Sorry. Give me some time to think about it."

Ed smiled thinly. "Alright. I really can't think of any other way, though."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." Envy went back to cleaning the dishes, then a few moments later, realized he was done.

Al cleared his throat. "Hey, Wrath, can you help Ed set up the couch bed?"

"Alright!" Wrath leapt up and followed Ed through the house to the living room. Envy watched them go before turning to the younger boy with a wry look.

"Okay, you've got me alone. You gonna tell me off now?"

Al shook his head. "I just want to understand why you're so against wearing female clothes."

"I'm a straight man! Of course I don't want to crossdress!" Envy dried his hands and sat down across from Al, unconsciously inspecting his nails.

"Wait, you're straight?" Al immediately clapped a hand over his mouth, but it was too late – it had already slipped out. Envy glared at him.

"_Yes. _I used to have a _girlfriend._"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…I just assumed, being friends with Brother – I'm a bad person, aren't I?"

Envy shook his head. "Don't worry about it. You're not the first person to make that mistake."

"But Wrath isn't gay and he's perfectly happy with the plan."

"He's thirteen."

"Which would usually mean he would be more opposed to the idea." Al's brown eyes, softer yet no less piercing than his brother's, asked the question for him. _What are you so afraid of?_

"Look, I said I'll think about it."

Al smiled, and Envy reflected that he didn't feel quite comfortable around the younger Elric. He was far, far too wise for his years.

He got to his feet. "Thanks anyway. You're a great cook."

"Wrath's definitely got a knack for it as well."

Envy smirked. "You should teach him some recipes." He left before Al could say anything further, his stomach suddenly doing backflips.

He ducked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him before anybody else could talk to him, and faced himself in the mirror. Reaching up, he traced his own facial features.

Thin, angular face. Pointed chin. Narrow, purple eyes – an unnatural colour, some genetic quirk passed through his mother's side. He didn't look feminine. Not at all. No.

Although…He touched his lips lightly. They were so pale, but if they were darker…

Envy locked the door, and then unzipped his sweater slowly, shrugging it off onto the floor and exposing his black t-shirt. The bruises along his arm were harsh in the stark bathroom light, and he desperately wanted to look away – but he wouldn't let himself.

_Look at yourself. Look. Look._

Slowly, hesitantly, he lifted the hem of the shirt, pulling the elastic material over his head and throwing it to the side. His chest was worse than his arms, with several marks and blemishes along the underside of his ribcage and along his collarbone.

_Disgusting._

Envy's curiosity won out over his shame, though, and he brought his shaking hands up to latch around his neck, closing his elbows over his chest and turning to the side. He flashed the mirror a dazzling smile, lidding his eyes a bit.

_I…_

He pulled some of his hair over his shoulder, brushing it out of his face, and tried again.

_I look…_

He didn't let himself finish the thought. Except…

Envy placed a hand on his hips and another crossing his chest on his shoulder, thinking back to lazy Sundays watching old movies with Lust. "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but…" he giggled airily, "my goodness, doesn't it help?"

He stopped, staring at himself in the mirror in horror. _That was terrifying._

_ Extremely terrifying._

_ And…fun…_

He put on another pose, hand on his chest in exaggerated misery. "Story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop. No, wait, not enough of a lilt…" He tried again, and couldn't stop himself from grinning.

_One more, then I'll stop._

"I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a diamond tiara lasts forever!" In a moment of impudence, Envy winked at himself and kicked up his leg.

_Oh dear god, what is wrong with me? _He couldn't stop giggling.

"Oh, stop it," he muttered to himself, turning on the tap and splashing water on his face to calm himself down, then drying himself off and opening the door.

Ed leant against the wall, a devilish smirk reminding Envy uncomfortably of Robin Goodfellow. "You know, Marilyn Monroe's nice and all," he commented, "but I think you'd do a _brilliant _Judy Garland."

Envy punched Ed in the shoulder, mortification articulating itself through gentle violence and a nervous laugh. "Of _course_ you like Judy Garland. How silly of me."

"I may be a stereotype but I'm a damn sexy one."

"Y – wait, no! I mean –"

Ed jumped in, acting as oblivious as possible to Envy's slip. "So this means you'll do it?"

"Uh. Maybe. Possibly. Just a bit." At Ed's amused grin, he scowled. "FINE! But I _know_ you're getting some weird kick out of it, aren't you?"

"Me? Never!" Ed laughed, and then yawned despite himself. "Man, what time is it? I'm exhausted."

Envy pressed his index fingers together shyly, and then stopped once he realized what he was doing. "So, um…where should I, um…"

"Oh! Yeah! I haven't actually thought about that yet…" Ed scratched his chin. "Tell you what, you take my bed, I'll sleep in the armchair."

"Not happening." Envy crossed his arms. "You did that earlier. You get the bed, I get the chair."

"But –"

"I'm not arguing with you. You need your sleep!"

Ed groaned. "Fine, fine, _fine._ We'll get something more comfortable together tomorrow morning, though, okay?"

"Isn't tomorrow Monday?"

"I'll take the day off. And, well, I'm thinking missing a bit of school will probably help with the charade."

_Charade. _The word sounded strange to Envy. _Charade. Pretence. Lie. Act._

_ …Act I can live with. _

"Anyway…let's get some sleep. And, Envy…" Ed rubbed the back of his neck and gave a goofy grin. "Thanks for trusting me."

Envy didn't know how to respond, so lightly smacked the back of Edward's head. "Idiot."

_Your idiot, _thought Ed, and then mentally slapped himself in horror. This was getting unbearable.

* * *

><p>Envy fell asleep almost instantly, curled up in the big armchair with his head on the armrest.<p>

Ed had no such luck.

_I should stop. I should put it down and respect his privacy. _He sat cross-legged on his bed, reading by the light of his bedside lamp. Every now and again, he looked up at Envy's sleeping face.

_I should also stop watching him while he sleeps. That's a little bit creepy. Even if he is fucking gorgeous –_

_ Okay. That's ENOUGH. You are with ROY. ROY ROY ROY. And the last thing Envy needs is you deciding that he's amazing. If he's going to be living with you, nothing can happen. NOTHING. _

He resolutely snapped the notebook shut, then sighed. _Damn it, I'm not going to be able to sleep at all at this rate. _Getting to his feet, he picked up the sheet from his bed and draped it over Envy, trying not to 'aww' when Envy snuggled into it.

Then, he sat on the windowsill, staring out into the darkness – and also in.

For even the sun has its dark spots.


	11. I'm Just A Sweet Transvestite

**EDITED: Not much edited here, just took out a line or two from Sloth to fit better with her character and make her part a bit less…narmy. XD (Aug. 19th, 2012)**

**May 21st, 2012: Happy happy joy joy, YukinoKara hast risen from the dead and edited this chapter. Woo!**

**The Shortpacked! reference is deliberate, for those who are wondering.**

**Bleh. I don't like this chapter. I really don't like it. The only part I like is Envy's part at the end. Let me know if anything seems really off, alright?**

**Oh, news! I'm considering starting another fic alongside this one – however, I'm not sure if I want to do it alone. Anybody interested in an AU collab about a government conspiracy, ten experiments and Envy in the barrio? I've started a bit on the first chapter but don't expect any updates just yet XD**

**Malady Marksonne Malaprop: Ling's favourite is Twilight Sparkle…and Russell's is Rainbow Dash. Consider the personalities XD Ahh, shipping hopeless pairings… Of course there's still a crossdressing Envy! That's, like, 60% of the plot! I'm afraid Envy won't have any Elton John outfits, though. They're a bit much for him. Remember, he's shy!**

**Linea Arlis: Unfortunately it was not – I barely even knew who she was back then. And yeah, denial ain't just a river in Egypt. I figured you already knew about Cut Me Off, crazy shipper lady _**

**What-is-the-color-of-love: Hehehe. Which part?**

**Part 2: Aoi Tori (Bluebird)**

**Chapter 11**

**I'm Just A Sweet Transvestite**

"Don't answer the phone or the door, don't leave the house, careful of the windows –"

Envy patted Ed on the head. "I _get _it, chibi! Go to school already."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! Where the hell'd you learn that anyway?"

"Ling, of course. I like it. It suits you. Now go! You're going to be late."

Ed set off for school, grumbling to himself. He'd gotten a call that morning from none other than Professor Mustang himself, telling him in no uncertain terms that if he were to skip the Chemistry test that he apparently had that day, he would personally fail him.

"Bastard just wants to keep me in his class." That had been made clear by the husky sound in the teacher's voice when he'd told Ed that not _only _would he fail, Mustang would personally come over to the Elric house and teach him the value of attending school.

_That's definitely not happening any time soon._

"CHIBI-CHAN!" Suddenly Ed was assaulted by some force that sent him toppling to the pavement. "Ohayo gozaimasu, aisoku puchi! Daisuki yo!"

Only the language being spoken prevented Ed from reaching for his pocket. "Jesus Christ, Ling, the hell are you on? And you know I don't understand a word of your babble."

Ling looked up at Ed, smiling as usual. "Baka."

"Oh, just ignore him. I think he had Cadbury Egg cereal for breakfast again." Russell walked up, looking as deliberately rumpled yet classy as usual.

"Ya think? Now get the lump off me. I nearly fucking knifed him, I'm so jumpy."

Russell raised an eyebrow. "Been a while since you even carried it, hasn't it? Have you ever even used it?"

"Not on another person," Ed replied evasively. "Point is, it's probably a good thing he was yelling so loudly in Japanese or I might've thought it was someone else."

Russell squatted down and poked Ling savagely in the side. "Oy, crazybrains. Up."

"But I don't wanna…"

"Stop being a lazy twat and get off of Ed. He's short enough without you crushing his bones."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TINY BEANSPROUT WHO COULD EVEN FIT THROUGH THE HOLES IN A SIEVE?" raged Ed, leaping to his feet the moment Ling rolled his weight off of him.

Russell rolled his eyes. "Getting old."

"What are you talking about, Russell? Edo-chan's complaints only get more and more inventive with each outburst!" Ling fluttered his eyes at Ed, who pushed him away.

"Don't be stupid – no, wait, that's gonna be difficult for you."

"Don't be mean – wait, no, this is you in a good mood!"

Russell shook his head despairingly. "The two of you are ridiculous."

"Yeah, well, you're boring," retorted Ling. He looked away, just missing the slightly hurt look on the English boy's face. Ed, however, saw it, and gave Russell a sympathetic glance.

"So what were you doing all weekend, lazybones?" asked Ling, appearing completely oblivious. "You didn't respond to any of my texts or anything."

"I was busy, alright?"

"With what? You have no life!"

"I was taking extra shifts at work, if you must know."

With a grumble, Ling dug in his pocket and handed the smug Russell a five-dollar bill. Ed started to ask, then shook his head, knowing there was no point.

Then –

"Shit, I'm late!" He hefted his backpack further up onto his shoulders and took off at a dash, leaving Ling and Russell far behind.

Ling blinked rapidly. "Sorry, did he just leave? I'm still getting afterimages."

"He doesn't have a morning spare, remember?"

"Riiight." Ling dropped back to stand next to Russell, then gave an exaggerated cry and fainted on the ground.

Far from being concerned, Russell crossed his arms and tapped his foot. "What do you want now?"

"Foooood…"

"Fine, I'll buy you a pastry."

"Yay!" Ling grabbed Russell's arm and pulled himself up, dusting off his all-black ensemble of clothing. "Lead the way, London boy!"

* * *

><p><em>Stoichiometry is the measurement of the amount of reactants needed and amount of product produced blah blah blah god he looks good in red…<em>

Chemistry was so boring.

Chemistry was so _fucking _boring.

Ed had forgotten how boring it could get without Envy to explain things in some weird poetic way that somehow made complete sense. And today, even Ling and Russell seemed more subdued, avoiding each other's glances and – horror of horrors – paying attention to the lesson. He'd already had to sit through one class and now his best friends were being stupid again.

Finally, the bell rang, freeing the trapped students for lunch. _Thank god…_He didn't move, though, merely slumping farther into his seat as everybody else left.

The minute the room was empty, Roy Mustang closed the door, walked purposefully over to where Edward sat, grabbed his collar and kissed him fiercely, running his thumb over the smaller boy's cheek.

"Horny bastard," Ed hissed into Roy's ear a moment later when they'd separated, nipping at his ear.

"Why do you think I hate weekends so much?" The teacher's hands travelled from his lover's jaw down to his chest, and then made their way up his shirt.

Ed closed his eyes, sinking into the warmth and the roughness of Roy's touch. He'd dreamt of Professor Mustang for years, and when the line between professor and pupil had finally been crossed, he couldn't have been happier.

He firmly pushed all thoughts of Envy out of his mind and gave in to Roy's touches.

He _wasn't_ thinking about violet eyes.

The same violet eyes were raking over the thrift-shop clothes that Alphonse had bought at lunch and dropped off with the Angevin boys before returning to school.

Envy stood in front of the mirror in a repeat of the day before, but he didn't feel like Marilyn now. He'd discarded his clothes, which were in dire need of a wash but for now lay in a pile in the corner.

He picked up the first item – a short, layered skirt made of some black, taffeta-like material – and held it to his waist. He snorted, and then shook his head helplessly. He'd never worn girl's clothes before…

Okay, that was a lie. But he'd never worn such _specifically _feminine clothes before.

He pulled on the skirt, having managed to obscure the fact that he was wearing girl's underwear even from himself. The black fabric contrasted well with his moon-pale skin, but his gender was still *ahem* _obvious. _

_I need, like…leggings, or something. Fuck, I have no idea what I'm doing. Martel never wore _skirts, _especially not ones like this._

Envy rummaged through the pile until he found, much to his relief, a pair of red-and-black striped leggings that seemed at first glance thick enough to conceal what needed to be concealed.

_On they go, and…perfect. _They might get hot, but Envy figured it was better to sweat a little than get discovered.

"Alright, what's next?" 'Next' was a button-up blouse, black, with a red rose embroidered on the breast pocket.

_Breast._

_ Ugh. I guess I need to figure out that part at some point._

He eyed the blouse, wondering if it would fit. _I guess there's only one way to find out. _Pulling it on, he started doing up the buttons, feeling a little jolt of shock when he realized that it was actually _roomy._

_ How underweight am I?_

Ed's question about his eating habits returned suddenly, and Envy gulped. _How bad has it really gotten?_

He'd stopped eating properly after the funeral.

"Enough of that," he muttered. "You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. You're…" _Fine._

"Envy!" The cheerful chirp from the door that had somehow opened without him noticing shocked him enough to trip over his own feet and sprawl on the floor, smacking his head painfully on the mirror.

Wrath winced in sympathy, and then smiled sheepishly. "Uh…sorry. I just finished something we could use to pass for girls!"

"That's great." Envy's eyes went to what Wrath was holding. "Where the hell did you get that bra? More importantly, how are you not freaking out?"

The younger teen chuckled nervously. "Uh, who says I'm not a little?"

Envy sighed. "So what did you do?"

"Here, I'll show you." Wrath walked into the room, but Envy scrambled away.

"No way, no way! Get that…_thing…_away from me!"

"What, afraid of a little underwear?" Wrath raised an eyebrow mockingly, then threw the bra at Envy's head.

"ACK! Gross! Ew ew ew!" He clawed at the offending object, eventually pulling it away from him with two fingers. "I do _not _want this on my _face_!"

"How about your torso?" Wrath sat down in front of his older brother, carefully lowering himself down with his one good arm.

"Huh?" Envy looked more carefully at the undergarment. It was heavily padded, with what looked like to be half of a stress-ball nestled in the layers of cotton glued in. "Did you do this?"

"Yeah! I looked it up on the Internet!" Wrath poked Envy's leg. "Come on, come on, try it on."

"Wait, what? Hell no!"

Wrath scowled. "You can't be _flat-chested._"

"Why not? Better than wearing that…thing!"

"You can't be a woman without breasts."

The blond crossed his arms indignantly, dropping the piece of clothing on the floor between them petulantly. "But breasts are _weird._" He quickly started backpedalling when Wrath began to snigger. "Wait, no! Not what I mean! I mean – they're nice on _other _people! Just – not me! GODDAMMIT, SHUT UP, YOU BRAT!"

"Hahaha, Envy thinks breasts are weird~"

"You are _so _immature."

Wrath only stuck out his tongue in reply.

"Fine! FINE, you conniving little horror. I'll put it on." Envy slipped out one button from its nook, and then gave Wrath a glance.

He quickly turned around, giving his brother a thumbs up. Envy snorted, trying to hide his gratitude.

"Okay…so it goes on like this…" Then he ran into another problem.

"How does the damn thing FASTEN?"

About twenty minutes of struggling later, both Wrath and Envy were in female clothes, Envy in the stockings, skirt and blouse he'd picked up (now with a distinctive swell on his chest) and Wrath in a white, pink-sleeved polo shirt and knee-length pleated pink skirt. He hadn't made a second one of the false chests yet, so he was still without boobs.

They stared at each other wordlessly, neither willing to break the awkward silence. A couple times, one or the other would open their mouths, but then change their minds, their faces scarlet.

Finally, Wrath broke the streak. "So…this is weird."

"Correction. This is _really. Fucking. Weird._"

Wrath immediately clapped his good hand over his ear. "LALALALA! You're not supposed to swear in front of me!"

With a roll of his eyes, Envy smacked Wrath's hand away. "Don't be stupid, you have a filthier mouth then me. So how does it feel to be a girl?"

"I…er…I dunno. I was expecting it to _feel _weirder." Wrath looked Envy up and down. "The messed-up part is seeing _you_ in a skirt."

"Ditto. Plus pink. You're not supposed to look good in pink. I'm pretty sure that violates a law of the universe."

Wrath brightened up into a smile, completely ignoring the last part. "Really? You really think so? I thought it was my colour…"

"_Oy vey_." Envy smacked his palm against his face. "So you think we're convincing?"

"You are. Although you still look like…you."

"Are you saying I look like a girl normally?" he flared up, only to be deflated by Wrath's blunt 'Yes'.

With a groan, he began to play idly with his hair. "Alright, go off and…do something. We can show Ed and Al when they get home."

"Okay!" Wrath hopped up and left the room, leaving his brother alone again. Envy turned towards the mirror, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

_Heh. I do look like a girl. _He brought his knees up to his chest, trying not to stare at the new additions to his slim form. _Congratulations, you're now officially a transvestite._

* * *

><p>Ed pulled his keys from his pocket, fiddling unsuccessfully with them until they fell from his grasp. "Fuck…" It had been a long day.<p>

Russell and Ling were fighting again – over what, he didn't know. He hadn't had time to ask them between them stonily ignoring each other and the heated argument they'd gotten into just after school ended. He'd walked away still hearing them yelling at each other.

After a moment, he managed to unlock the door. "Hey, Al! Wrath! Envy! I'm home!"

"Al's not back yet." Ed looked up at the staircase, where Envy was crouched and looking back at him through the bars.

"Ah, figured. How was your day?"

"Boring."

"Really? Because Al said he was going to drop off some clothing for you two."

Envy's face went crimson, much to Ed's merriment. "Oh _fuck you._"

"You've got a foul mouth for someone so shy."

"I direct you to my previous statement."

"Come on, show me." Ed couldn't keep the shit-eating grin off of his face – it had been painfully obvious from Envy's reaction that not only had Al brought the clothing, but Envy had put it on.

"I don't want to," Envy pouted, and Ed's heart gave a sudden _thu-thump._

"Please?"

With a sigh, Envy straightened up and started walking down the stairs, unconsciously giving his hips the slightest sway and placing his feet one in front of the other to create the illusion not of a man in woman's clothing, but simply, a woman.

That was the day, the hour, the moment that Ed would point to as the moment he started getting very confused about the definition of 'gay'.

"So, uh, is it convincing?"

Ed shrugged. "Don't ask me. I'm not attracted to women."

Envy growled, and Ed held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "Joking, joking! Except it's true. But no, you look great! One problem – you're still you."

"That's what Wrath said. So what do I do?"

"Cut your hair and dye it."

"I'm not cutting my hair! I spent years on this!"

"Fine. But you'll have to dye it, and wear it differently."

Envy nodded. "That I can do." He thought for a moment. "Can I dye it green?"

"Green? Why?"

Envy bared his sharp teeth in a wicked smile. "Green with envy, get it?"

"You're terrible. But yeah, I'll get some green dye tonight." Ed checked his watch. "I have to go into work at eight thirty, and I won't be back in til about three, so I'm gonna see if I can catch some sleep."

For a moment, Envy seemed disappointed, but the expression soon disappeared, erased with a shrug. "Alright. You don't look too good, so that seems fair."

Ed began to make his way up the stairs, but a feathery, cold touch on his arm made him stop and look back.

Purple eyes gazed up at him. "Could I…" He gulped. "Could I visit Lust? Let her know what's happening?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I have to let her know. I can't let her think something terrible's happened."

Ed nodded. "Just make sure Greed isn't there, alright? I won't always be around to get your skinny ass out of trouble."

_Envy's Notebook – Entry #31_

_Greed's car wasn't in the driveway, and neither were either of my parents' cars. It was probably the only chance I was going to get to see Lust – and Sloth, too, hopefully._

_ I just wish I'd had time to change before I'd gone._

_ I figured it was better to be safe than sorry, though. My room has a window big enough and low enough to climb through, so I figured that was the best thing to do. _

_ Unfortunately, I hadn't ever tried it in a skirt. It caught on something or other, and I plummeted quite painfully to the pale floor. (Look at that, alliteration!)_

_ "What was that?" The door swung open before I had time to straighten up – which means, now that I think about it, that Sloth's first sight of me for almost two days was my wonderfully-stockinged legs sticking straight up from behind the bed._

_ I sat up, and waved hello. She, understandably, freaked a little._

_ Her yells of 'what the hell, Envy?' and 'you look like a prostitute' were interrupted by Lust wheeling her way around the corner, then barrelling into the room to hit me with her wheelchair, pull me into her lap and smother me with kisses._

_ "I hate it when you disappear like that, cutie!"_

_ "Lust…stop it…"_

_ "What are you wearing, anyway? Were you playing weird depraved sex games with sexy blondie?"_

_ I'm afraid to say I winced a little at that. It was just a bit too close to the truth. Lust, being the amazing big sister she is, noticed immediately and forced me to sit on the bed._

_ "Sloth, close the door," she said quietly. Sloth did so, perching carefully on my office chair and giving me a querying look._

_ "What's going on, Envy? Why didn't you come home yesterday? Greed said you left in the morning and didn't come back."_

_ I wanted to tell her, you know. But wanting something and doing it are about as far apart as you can get when it comes to things like this._

_ "I did," I said drily. "Then I left again."_

_ Lust sighed, shaking her head. I could tell she was frustrated. "What's been going on recently? First you start not coming home at night, then you get your ears pierced and now you're wearing girl's clothes and disappearing for long stretches…" She gave me a searching gaze. "Is there something you need to tell me?"_

_ Oh god, she thought I was gay._

_ "I'm not gay!"_

_ Smooth, Envy. REAL FUCKING SMOOTH._

_ "But…" I gulped. "Wrath and I…um…we aren't coming back home."_

_ "Wrath is with you?" It took a moment for my statement to impact. "Wait, what? But…you can't! What are you talking about?"_

_ I didn't tell her everything. But I told her about the knife, and the bruises, and Ed's plan to keep us safe._

_ And, to my horror, I saw a black look in Sloth's eyes._

_ After I'd finished, Lust leant back in her chair and sighed, the haggardness of her face thrown into sharp relief by her serious expression._

_ "I don't know about this, Envy. I mean, I know Greed can be a bit of a bastard when he's had too much to drink, but –"_

_ "A bit of a bastard?" The outburst came from Sloth, who was gripping the edges of her chair with white knuckles. "How blind do you have to be, Lust?"_

_ I'd never seen Lust look so shocked, and I suppose the look on my face at that moment wasn't too fetching, either. Sloth's the quiet one – even more than me – and always has been. That's how it worked. Lust was the lover, Greed the fighter, I was the poet, Wrath the scientist and Sloth was just…the dreamer. The whistler. The sleeper._

_ After a moment, Lust smiled sadly. "Come here, love." She opened her arms, and I fell into them, holding her close._

_ "Just…will you…will you promise me one thing, Envy?"_

_ "Yeah?"_

_ She didn't say anything, but I understood. "I'll be there. No matter what, I'll be there. I promise, Lust. I promise." Fuck, I was about to cry. I may be comfortable crying in front of Ed, but not in front of my _sisters. _That's a whole new low._

_ I kind of wanted to leave after that, but I couldn't quite. I mean…Sloth. We aren't the closest of siblings. I think it's how close in age we are. She's fourteen going-on-fifteen, I'm seventeen, just a little too close for comfort._

_ But I have the strange kind of feeling she has more in common with me than I thought. Or, even scarier a thought, with Wrath._

_ We ended up sharing an awkward kind of hug, her pointedly trying to ignore that I had breasts and me trying to ignore that I was realizing the same thing. About her. It's amazing what you notice about other people when you walk around with the damn things attached to you._

_ They gave me some things to take with me as I left – pieces of advice, and old clothes, and folded paper bills, and other odds and ends._

_ I took everything with me that I would ever need to feel at home._

_ Goodbye, Angevin Mansion._

_ Hello, Julia Vasquez._


	12. Honestly Eighteen

**Found this on DeviantArt – while details like clothes, etc. are off, this is essentially a perfect representation of what Envy's gonna look like once he dyes his hair. SO PRETTY~ just take out the spaces because FF is a butt.**

http:/ browse. / ?q=fma%20envy&order=9&offset = 120#/dzljh3

**I swear to god, the Ling-confession scene was supposed to be far more serious than it was. This is what happens when you put that damn Yao in anything _**

**Vicki is my first OC to show up in Seven Names. I don't know if she'll show up again, but it's likely. Also – Breda yay!**

**Malady Marksonne Malaprop: Yeah, just like with everything else, the cross-dressing is being given a little more gravitas. Again, I was quite young when I wrote the first version of this story, and it showed. Envy isn't really into ponies, but his favourite would probably be Fluttershy out of all of them. Now Elysia…Elysia likes Rarity.**

**Tigerwulf: YES IT IS THE BEST SONG EVER and yup, green hair at last – I'm only 12 chapters late on that or whatever _ I'm glad you like the sound of it :D I would love to have you help me write it, if you think you have the time. Thanks as always for reviewing!**

**Linea Arlis: Here's a pro-tip – tranny's an offensive term, as convenient as the abbreviation is. Just letting you know :P I'm glad you enjoy the chapter though! I love writing Envy's interactions with any of his siblings, but Lust and Sloth are my favourites. **

**what-is-the-colour-of-love: I like your art, and you are very pretty :3 If you want you can draw Envy/Julia (I would love that) and there's the picture I have above as a great reference.**

**Part 2: Aoi Tori (Bluebird)**

**Chapter 12**

**Honestly Eighteen**

By 8:30, Envy had returned and Ed had left for work, usual red coat forsaken for a costume more befitting his place of employment. He was wearing a black t-shirt with elbow-length sleeves, with his work's logo emblazoned on the right-hand side in red, as well as fishnet armbands and fingerless biker gloves.

All in all, he thought it quite an attractive get-up.

Hopping onto the bus at the closest intersection, he rode it to the bank of the river, then started the journey over the bridge to Hull. The best paying jobs, he knew, were the ones that involved a risk, and the Devil's Nest Bar was no different. Kakashi even paid him enough to make the trek over the bridge worth it.

Didn't make it any less annoying though.

"Damn it, why aren't there any buses across the fucking provincial line?" he ranted to himself, getting heated for a moment before taking a glance over the water and smiling despite himself. It was a gorgeous view over the river, especially at the in-between time when both sun and moon warred on the remnants of ice and stretches of black water.

After a moment of slow paces and appreciation, he checked his watch and hurriedly sped up. The bar was just on the other side of the bridge, but he had to get there before the nine o'clock rush.

Finally, he reached the door, a scratched and beaten affair that had once been dark blue judging from the few chips of paint still left on it. A wooden sign with 'Devil's Nest' hand-painted on it was perched precariously above it, with an anachronistically cheerful skull below it.

With a shudder, he checked his pockets, one hand closing around his fake ID and the other around the handle of his knife. He'd never had any problems that involved using the second of these items, but it was better safe than sorry.

As he stood outside, shivering slightly in the April air, he heard footsteps coming up behind him. "Hey, Eddie!"

"Hey yourself." He didn't need to turn to know who it was, but did anyway.

Vicki grinned, blonde-streaked bangs hiding one eye as she plucked a cigarette from her cleavage and twirled it in one hand. "Ready for another night in hell?"

"Psch. Always."

"Want a smoke?" She pulled out another cig and handed it to him. He took it and allowed her to light its end, taking a few puffs, but then dropped it on the ground and extinguished it beneath his foot.

"What'd you do that for?" she exclaimed. "Every single time, Eddie, every single time you waste my smokes!"

"Please. You can always get more from the boys inside."

"But I don't want tooo…"

Ed ignored his co-worker, entering the building. "Oy, Kakashi! I'm in!"

The silver-haired man popped up from behind the counter and gave Ed a thumbs-up, mouthing something unheard in the din of the bar. The music was pumped up louder than usual, industrial distortion paired with Gaga-style beats flooding the hole-in-the-wall nightclub. There were already a fair number of people there, many of them grinding and laughing on the dance floor.

"How much ya wanna bet I'll get a boyfriend tonight?" asked Vicki, voice raised in an attempt to war with the clamour.

Ed snorted, not even bothering to respond. There wasn't a straight man to be found in the Nest – let alone a woman other than Vicki.

Tugging out his braid and tying it into a high ponytail, Ed slid his way behind the bar, almost tripping over Kakashi. "What are you…dude, really?" He plucked the porno mag out of his boss's hands. "At least read this in your office or something."

"Ah, you wound me." He jumped to his feet, standing purposefully close to the smaller boy to underline their height difference. "Work hard or you don't get your paycheck. And remember –"

"Business is business, yeah, yeah, I know."

"Good boy." Kakashi clapped him on the shoulder before disappearing, making Ed look around in confusion for a moment before sighing and accepting his boss's supernatural powers as a part of life.

He bent down to grab a few glasses, pretending not to see Vicki checking out his bottom, then readied himself for another late night as an underage bartender.

It was a few minutes past nine when the first familiar face arrived at the bar. He stumbled through the door with the gait of someone already drunk, jet-black hair swinging around his face and hands half-in and half-out of his jacket pockets.

Ling fell onto one of the crimson bar-stools, letting his head slump until it hit the bar-top itself. "Booooze…" he moaned, one hand reaching out for Ed in hope.

Ed snickered, pouring Ling a Guinness. "The usual, I assume?"

"I don't even care, just give me alcohol." Ling lifted his head from the bar as Ed plonked the beer in front of him. "Yay! You're a lifesaver."

"Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you pay your tab."

"Course, course." Ling took a gulp then wiped away the foam from his lip.

"This your first drink tonight, Ling?"

"Yeah, yeah," he replied distractedly. "Not gonna be my last though."

"What's the matter?"

"Dude, you saw." Ling scowled. "Russell being bitchy again."

Ed rolled his eyes. "I saw _both _of you being pricks to each other."

"Well, he started it." He took another drink and muttered something in Japanese.

The blond sighed and folded his arms on the bar, leaning forward to meet Ling's eyes. "What's going on with you two now?"

"Well, we went out to get some coffee and a pastry. Talked about idiotic stuff like Envy and Elton John and whether Marilyn Manson counts as music." He smiled wryly, narrow eyes soft. "And, uh, I held his hand."

"Why would you _do_ that?"

"I wanted to," he replied gently.

"That's not going to swing as an excuse for much longer if you keep doing this. Just a sec," Ed straightened up as a bearded gentleman in an open flannel shirt ordered a whiskey on the rocks, pouring the amber liquid over the ice and handing it to him with a smile.

The bearded man took it, fingers brushing against Ed's slightly, then looked up at the blond. "You're a pretty young lad – bit too young for a place like this, don't you think?"

"I'm older than I look," covered Ed smoothly. It wasn't _exactly _a lie.

The man gave him a disbelieving look, but walked away with a muttered 'thanks'. Ed returned to Ling, who had already drained his first beer. "Fill me up, barkeep!"

"Never call me that again." Ed slid Ling another drink, catching the empty glass as it was tossed to him. "And you need to get over this idea that you and Russell are ever going to happen."

"But I really want him," he whined.

"Listen, you fuck-face, 'want' is not gonna cut it. You're a manwhore and Russ knows it. You can't keep hitting on every moving thing in sight and expect him to leap into your arms at the chance to be the next notch on your post."

He winced at Ed's words, staring down into his drink. "You know what, I think I need something stronger."

Ed raised and lowered his eyebrows. "Figured that. What're you feeling for?"

"Got anything for complete dumbasses?" moaned Ling, letting his head fall back onto the bar and covering it with his arms.

"Vodka it is."

A few drinks later... "I mean, Russ is awesome, ya know? And when he moved here last year, I was all like…Yay! But leopards don't change their spots, ya know?" Ling chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Bu…but, Edo-chan, _nee_, why does he get so maaad? I mean, he smacked me when I held his hand!" Ling rubbed his cheek mournfully. "I di'n't deserve _that!"_

Ed handed another man his drink, only half-listening to his inebriated friend at this point. But at some point, he figured, he had to intervene. "That's because he loves you."

"WHAAT?" Ling fell off the bar stool, only a deft action by the nearby Vicki saving his half-empty glass. He sat on the ground, looking up at Ed with a poleaxed look. "He _what? _But – I –" He got to his feet. "I need more booze."

Vicki handed him the rescued glass with a sly smile. "Here you go. And….what's your name? I think I've seen you in here before."

Ling woozily returned the flirtatious look. " I'm Ling. That's not surprising, I bug the shorty here every chance I get."

"I'M NOT FUCKING SHORT!"

Vicki patted Ed on the head, eyes still trained on Ling. "My name's Vicki. Tell you what, here's my number – I get off work at 2." She sauntered off, leaning over the bar

Ling grinned, but then his smile abruptly turned upside down and his head for what must have been the thousandth time that night, made sharp contact with the bar. "Watashi wa sekai ken jijibutsu daikirai."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, are you saying 'I'm a dumbass' in Japanese?"

"…Close enough." Ling drained what was left of his glass. "You know what? You know what I'm gonna do, chibi?"

The blond sighed, pulling his fishnet armbands back into place. "What?"

Ling raised his empty glass. "I'm never gonna…gonna fuck no-one else again! An…And I'm gonna tell Russell that I…that I…"

"Yeah, yeah, come on, spit it out already!"

Ling struggled bravely. "I lllllike him!"

_Oh for Christ's sake. He's smashed and he still can't admit that he's head-over-heels in love. My friends are stupid as all get-out._

Things were starting to speed up at the bar, he noticed. Moving down the bar and away from Ling, he didn't have time to pay attention to every face.

A hand slammed down on the wood. Ed turned to the owner of the hand. "So what'll it be for you, sir –"

He cut himself off, mouth sealing shut and heart skipping a beat. Greed peered over his dark glasses, the skin around his eyes red and sore. "Don't I know you, kid?" he growled.

"Uh, no, not that I know…" Ed gulped. "So, what do you want to drink?"

Greed's lip lifted in a snarl. "You're the one who put my head through the wall!"

"Oh come on, that was barely even a love-tap –" Ed realized what he was saying too late, as Greed lunged for him.

"I KNEW IT!"

He managed to dodge most of the force of the older man's swing, but Greed managed to grab the front of his shirt and pull the bartender towards him, Ed's lower chest colliding painfully with the counter-top.

Greed brought their faces close, hot breath coloured not only with alcohol but with some other pungent and intoxicating smell. "Where – are – my – _brothers?_" he hissed, drops of spittle landing on Ed's face.

He lifted a hand to wipe them away. "I – don't – _know,_" he replied. "Now let me go before I call management."

"The hell I'll let you go. You took them, you son of a bitch!"

"I don't know where they went after that, I swear!" Ed narrowed his eyes. "Got sick of you, did they?"

Greed's response was to haul the diminutive blond over the bar counter, sending glasses smashing to the ground, and throw Ed onto the ground.

_OWSHIT _was all he could think as many of the glass shards dug their way into his back and arms.

"I've asked you once nicely, I'll ask you again." Greed stood over him, placing his boot on Ed's chest. "WHERE ARE ENVY AND WRATH?"

Someone tapped Greed on the shoulder. He looked over one shoulder, to see no one in sight.

"Over here!" He looked over his other shoulder to see Ling waving cheerily.

"What the fuck?" he growled.

"See that ridiculously stunted bean-sprout on the ground?" He pointed at Ed, who would have raised a fuss if he'd felt in good enough shape to actually move. "That belongs to me."

_The hell I belong to you! _Ed wanted to say, but he knew if he unlocked his jaw, he'd just scream.

"Stay outta this, kid," warned Greed. "This is family business."

"_Teme._" Ling drew his arm back and made as if to punch Greed, but merely slung his arm over his shoulders, saying something in Japanese.

"Are you insulting me?"

"Not like you'll ever know, pea-brain!"

Greed swung at Ling, who ducked with a cheery whistle. He tried again, only for Ling to chirp, "Try again next time, _haisha!_"

"Stay still, you little piece of shit!"

"No can do, Mr. Big Guy – whoops! Nearly got me there!"

Ed felt someone try to lift him up, and winced. "Careful there, I've got glass in my back."

"Ow. That doesn't sound comfortable. But you've gotta get off the floor to get the glass out." It was Vicki's voice, but toned down far below her usual flirty persona. "Your cute friend's leading Greed on a merry little dance there."

Ed chuckled despite himself. "Yeah, Ling's drunk."

"And he's still able to do that? Wow."

Just as she said that, one of Greed's strikes met its mark, hitting Ling in the stomach and throwing him back towards Ed. He landed on top of Vicki, sending them both onto the ground.

"Oww…" complained Ling.

Vicki got to her feet. "You two had better split before things get worse. This guy's fucked up."

"He's _always _fucked up," deadpanned Ed, thinking back to the last confrontation he'd had with Greed.

The big-shouldered man sneered, walking towards them. "Get up and fight me, you brats!" he bellowed.

Ed winced as he struggled into an upright position. "Yeah, I'd rather not – unffh!" His breath fled his body as Greed slammed his boot into his stomach.

"That's _enough, _Greed Angevin." Vicki got to her feet, glaring daggers at him until he stepped backwards. "You know the rules – no harassing the workers. And this goes beyond harassment." She indicated the two seventeen-year-olds.

"I just want an answer –"

"And you're not going to get one. Out!" She pointed to the door.

"Why you little bitch…" Greed grabbed Vicki's neck – and this violation was all it took to start a full-out brawl.

Ling, still winded, tried to pull Ed to his feet, but couldn't get enough leverage. "Sorry blondie," he slurred, "my balance is shot."

"Here, I'll drive you boys home." Ed looked up in surprise. It was the bearded man from before.

"Don't try to tell me you're fine," he said tiredly. "You're far too young to be here in the first place and I don't want you caught here when the police finally show up." He bent down and lifted Ed to his feet. "Do you need the hospital?"

"No, no, I'll be okay once I'm home…"

The man gave Ling a rueful look. "And all _you _need is a night to sober up. Now come on." He let Ed lean on him as he struggled to his feet.

_Great. Here I am, getting into a stranger's car while injured…_He looked back at the bar. _Although I'm starting to think he's my better option. And I'm not getting any bad vibes from him._

"If you're worried," said the man gruffly, "don't be. I'm a police officer – off-duty."

"You're a cop?"

The man nodded. "Don't worry. I'm not going to get you in trouble. But I don't want to see you back here again – working or not. Alright?"

Ed inclined his head in reply, although his head was starting to spin. There was a sinking feeling in his chest, however, as he realized he was now officially out of a job.

Ed carefully and excruciatingly lowered himself into the car, but before he sat down completely, the man grasped his shoulder and bent him slightly forward.

"What are you -?"

"Just sit still." There was a strange sensation in his back as the bearded man pulled out the pieces of glass. "None of the cuts are too deep, but have somebody rinse them out when you get home. You'll be fine."

Ed blinked, then smiled gratefully. "Thanks. What's your name?"

"Breda, Heymans Breda. And you?"

"Edward Elric."

"Hn. Good name. It's strong." Breda grabbed Ling, who was leaning his head on the bigger man's shoulder. "None of that, you lush. Get in there."

"But you're biiig and sexyyy…"

Breda rolled his eyes. "I'm not into jailbait." Ling collapsed into the car next to Ed, snuggling on his shoulder.

"Alright, where do you two live?"

"I live on Number 4, Rizenbul Avenue, and…" He glanced at Ling. "Never mind about him. He'd better stay with me."

Breda chuckled throatily. "You kids."

They spent the rest of the drive in silence, Ling snoozing softly on Ed's shoulder and the blond himself lost in thought. What was he going to do for money now? Despite his reassurances to Envy, they wouldn't have enough money to support all four of them without his income. He'd have to go look for another one – easier said than done in this economy.

It was only once Breda pulled up at his house that Ed remembered possibly the most important – or at least, most immediate – problem.

_Oh god. Envy is going to FREAK._


	13. Hope, Want, Dare

**Thirteen – the unlucky chapter! But for who? Warning: Metaphor overdose ahead!**

**Also, YukinoKara has returned :D I'll get around to posting the betaed versions of all the chapters soon, but there's no major changes – just grammatical mistakes and word choices. Couple shout-outs to Greedling in this chapter, as well as building some more psychological stuff.**

**And – excitingly enough – we're drawing close to Part 3 of The Seven Names of Envy Angevin! I don't have a title for it yet, but as with the last transition, something is going to change. In addition to that, new characters are going to be introduced, many of whom I'm sure you've been missing.**

**Linea Arlis: Twas a fun chapter to write with all the BAMF-ness. And it's okay, now you know not to use it :P It's a pity you won't be around, but hey, you can always catch up once you're done your finals ^^ Thanks for reviewing, darling!**

**Malady Marksonne Malaprop: Yeah, she's really, really young in the show – but while her age is the most obvious, most of the ages are messed around with. Obviously Envy isn't four hundred years old, Russell's a year older than he should be next to Ed, and all three (Ed, Russ, Ling) are aged up a year. And with Elysia, I wanted to have her old enough that I could actually do something with her character.**

**Part 2: Aoi Tori (Bluebird)**

**Chapter 13**

**Hope, Want, Dare**

"Thanks again for the ride, Breda."

Breda gave Ed a mock salute from the open window of the car. "No problem, kid. Just keep yourself out of trouble, okay? And stay away from that place!"

'Fine, fine, I will." Ed hefted Ling to his feet. "Come on, boozeface."

"Don' call meh boozeface, shortypants."

As Breda drove off, Ed tried to hold up his inebriated companion while fishing in his pockets for his keys – a task that proved to be beyond his strength. "Ling, stand up so I can get my keys."

"Nnnnope."

"You're an idiot."

"Yyyyup." He followed this with an ill-suited giggle.

Ed rolled his eyes. Leaning carefully over, he peeked through the window. He could see someone in the armchair, but he couldn't tell who it was from just the elbows visible on either side of the back.

_Really hoping it's…actually, no, I'm gonna get shit on no matter who it is. _With a sigh, Ed pressed the doorbell. Through the window, he saw the arms jerk forward a little in surprise, and Envy looked over his shoulder. Ed waved sheepishly.

Envy gave him a strange look, then ran over to the door and opened it. "Why are you home so early? I thought you wouldn't be back until one or two?" He glanced at Ling. "Er, hello. What's he doing with you?"

Ling hiccupped in reply and gave Envy a goofy smile. Envy turned his head away and waved his hand in front of his nose. "I hate that smell. He's been drinking, hasn't he?"

"Yeah…Listen, just help me get him in, alright?"

Envy leaned forward, bringing his face close to Ed's, and then brought his hand up to cradle the blond's chin. "You've got a black eye." He frowned. "What happened?"

"Um. It's kind of a long story. Please let me in."

With some struggling, the two of them managed to dump Ling unceremoniously onto the living-room couch, where he began to snore softly.

Ed sank to the ground, resting his head on the soft arm of the sofa with a quiet moan. "Oh god, what a night."

He looked up at Envy, who was standing over him with arms crossed, and smiled crookedly. "Cute dress. Isn't that what Lust wore to the event-thingie?"

"Don't try to distract me." Envy dropped to his knees. "What happened?"

Ed shifted slightly, wincing as the scratches and cuts in his back shifted and rasped against the fabric of his shirt. "Got into a fight at work."

"At _work? _Where the hell do you work?"

"Heh…uh…"

"Please tell me you aren't secretly a male prostitute or something."

A burst of laughter escaped him – he'd been ready for anything but that. "No, I promise I'm not a male prostitute. I work at a bar…okay, well, maybe that should be in the past tense. But I'm a bartender."

Envy raised his eyebrows. "A…a bartender? Aren't you –"

"Seventeen?" Ed reached into his pocket and flipped open his ID with a cheeky grin. "Not according to this lad I'm not."

"A fake ID. Of all the things…" Envy shook his head. "So you work at a bar, and you got into a fight. The things I don't know about you."

"You're taking it pretty well."

He smirked. "Please. I sleep in graveyards, you lie about your age – we all get our kicks in somehow. Besides," he added with a laugh, "working at a bar? I'm sorry, but that is just _so you_."

Ed felt a flush paint his cheeks. "Not just any bar…" he said quietly and embarrassedly. "A, uh…a gay bar."

"A _gay bar? _Are you serious?" Envy bit his lip to stop himself from laughing, and then touched the swollen flesh around Ed's eye. "I'll get you an icepack, alright? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"Yeah, got a couple shards of glass in my back. The guy who drove me home pulled them out, but still hurts like hell."

Envy got to his feet and walked over to the kitchen, and a moment later, Ed heard the water running. "Take your shirt off," called Envy, and Ed's cheeks grew even redder.

Of course he'd _have _to, if Envy was to take care of his cuts – but…The day before, Envy had seen his chest, and the unmistakable look of pity had been almost more than he could bear. He didn't _want _pity, especially not from the boy he was supposed to be helping. He couldn't stand it when people decided he was helpless.

Envy returned, holding a cloth, icepack, band-aids and bowl of water. "Shirt. Off." He said this in an imperious voice that left no room for argument.

"But –" Ed began to protest. Envy cut him off.

"I've seen them and I don't care. Now do it."

"Yes, ma'am!" Ed couldn't help but grin at Envy's exasperated expression as he pulled his shirt over his head, chucking it to the side. True to his word, the boy didn't seem to react to the scars at all, merely sitting behind him wordlessly and dipping the cloth in the bowl of water. When he wrung it out, the falling drops made a wet and hollow sound as they rejoined their companions.

The cloth was cool against Ed's back, cool and soothing. He closed his eyes, leaning slightly into its touch.

"You're an idiot," muttered Envy.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said, you're an idiot." A few strands of Envy's loose hair tickled his bare back and shoulders, making him wriggle as this tender examined his cut. A moment later, there was a slight moment of pressure and stickiness.

"There we go. You now have a dinosaur on your back," commented Envy drily. A moment later, Ed felt the cool kiss of the cloth back on his back. He didn't respond – his throat felt scratchy and bruised, and he was tired…and he didn't feel like he needed to.

A few moments, two dinosaurs and one Disney Princess later (he wasn't sure how the last one had gotten in the house), Envy spoke again, words quiet and husky. "Come home hurt again, and I _will_ finish the job."

"Hey, I don't work there anymore, kay? So I won't. No problem, see? It's al good!" Ed held a thumbs-up sign over his shoulder. Envy reached over and pushed it down, but didn't let go, his mouth next to Ed's ear.

"Ed…" he breathed, and for a moment, Ed's mind fed him a thousand fantasies, "what aren't you telling me?"

_Aw, fuck him and his stupid +100 on perception._ "Er, wha-, whaddaya mean?"

"What aren't you telling me?" Envy's grip tightened, and Ed was uncomfortably aware of Envy's mouth – rather, his _teeth_ – rather close to his neck. It wasn't the first time he'd thought of the Angevin boy as a vampire. "You son of a bitch, don't you dare lie to me."

_Don't call me that. _"Alright, alright." Ed pulled away, trying to put some space between the two of them. "It was your crazy jackass brother who decided to give me a free tenderizing. He recognized me while he was trawling for fresh meat."

It came off a lot more harshly than he intended, and even the second after, he wished he could exchange the words for a kinder substitute. The hand gripping his own loosened, falling to the side.

"_What?_" came the whispered, disbelieving question that wasn't really a question. "But you said the Demon's Nest was a…a…" There was a block, something that wouldn't move – a lump in Envy's throat that Ed could almost feel against his shoulder.

"Yeah, and he was in there. I don't know many hets who inhabit queer clubs, Envy, gotta say." Again with the harsh words. _I don't mean to be like this – _but the words were just as blocked as Envy's admission of his brother. He turned to face him, arms hanging over his knees. "And in case you haven't noticed," _oh god, Edward, don't be a dumbass, don't __**do**__ this_"both you and Wrath happen to be male."

"Shut up! That's not –" Envy buried his face in his hands and took a shuddering breath, then straightened up with a face like ice. "He was probably too drunk to tell what kind of place it was," he said matter-of-factly.

_I'm an asshole. I'm such a fucking asshole. _Ed kept his mouth shut. He didn't trust himself. He didn't trust himself. He didn't _fucking _trust himself and he had to not say anything and –

"Yeah, Envy? I'm pretty sure Greed is gay."

"He is _not gay!_" he snapped. "He likes _girls!_ He constantly has them all over him!"

"So he's in denial, or bi. Not every bi dude is like Ling, you know."

"He's just…not into men, okay?"

"You trying to convince me or yourself there?"

"He CAN'T BE!" Envy nearly screamed. "It's…isn't…it's not…"

Something struck a dissonant chord that rang from Ed's head down to his navel. "It's not _what?_" He got to his feet, only half aware he was doing it. He had been so tired, but a growing coldness brought all of his senses into sharp focus.

Envy looked up, eyes wide. He was scared. More than that, he looked guilty, teeth digging into his bottom lip. The black dress shifted and shimmered under him as he shuffled, falling backwards under Ed's powerful and chilling glare.

"It's not _what_, Envy?" Ed couldn't stop his voice from rising, or cracking slightly. "ENVY ANGEVIN!"

"IT'S NOT NATURAL!"

And it was said.

And the bond, that almost-mystical, indescribable bond that had fastened the two unusual boys since their first meeting, snapped irreparably.

And a schism, miles wide and centuries deep and heartbreaks long, yawned between Edward Elric and Envy Angevin.

Ed couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He just stood there, mouth partially open, arms limp and frozen by his sides. A hot flush rushed into his cheeks – not the pleasant embarrassment he'd experienced every time Envy had done something unwittingly attractive, not the bloodrush that accompanied the harmless innuendo or the dancing or the kiss on the cheek –

"You think it's not…natural?" he forced out. He couldn't feel his lips.

Envy's head was bent, hair hiding his face. The blond strands shook back and forth like willow branches in the wind to indicate the direction of the head.

"You think…I'm…unnatural?"

There was no answer, not even a subtle movement even to indicate that Envy had heard him.

Ed wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to laugh, say "Real funny" and give Envy a pat on the back.

He grabbed his shirt from where it lay on the ground, and pounded up the stairs. Each step sounded like a gunshot, like another nail in the coffin of the little fantasy he'd built up.

He'd hoped –

He'd wanted –

He'd dared –

Slowly, sluggishly, he made his way to the bathroom, having the presence of mind (somehow?) to close the door behind him. He fell to his knees, scraping his knees on the tiny porcelain tiles, and emptied his stomach into the toilet.

He retched again, and again, but there was nothing more to bring up, even when he stuck his fingers down his throat in a desperate bid for more. Still, he remained like that for – how long? Minutes? Seconds? Hours?

Days?

Centuries?

- with one hand braced on the toilet seat and the other clinging desperately onto the towel rack. He tried to pull himself up, but with a peeling and cracking sound that reminded Ed of flames, the rack came free, falling to the ground and dragging Ed with it. He tried again, wiping his mouth with one arm and flushing away the evidence of his weakness.

He turned around and looked in the mirror. God, he was pale. Next to the sink was a pill-box – pale blue, with a compartment for each day of the week. He did a quick count. He hadn't taken his pills since the night of the gala – three days now. Six pills missed now.

Ed hated his pills. He was supposed to take one every morning and every night. They slowed down his mind, made it harder to think but easier to stay calm and stay relaxed. He could do that on his own, just sometimes it got away from him, that's all.

Fuck, he didn't want to think. Not now. Not now. Not right fucking now.

He took all six of them at once.

In the mirror, he noticed the bulge in his pocket. Pulling it out, he realized it was his knife, and he flicked out the blade. It shone enticingly in the harsh fluorescent lights, wicked silver edge sharp and keen. He'd kept it that way, unused, for six months now.

It took almost more strength than he had to close it again and place it gently by the sink. Then, in desperation for something to bring him a little bit of clarity before his meds blurred his mind beyond retrieval, he reached behind him and ripped one of the bandaids fiercely off of his back. Holding it in front of his face, he snorted. It was the Disney Princess one, the outlier, the stranger. Jasmine, Aladdin's Arabian Queen.

"Fucking princess." He threw it in the garbage, and reached for another one. He managed to pull all of them off but one, a dinosaur trapped in a place he couldn't quite reach. From what he could see, he identified it as a Velocirapter. Small – harmless-looking – deadly.

He slammed open the door, leaving his knife and temptation behind. God, what a fucking disaster. He was so pathetic.

So pathetic.

Ed climbed – slowly, wearily, with the creaking joints and mincing, painful movements of an old man – into his bed and between the gaudy sheets. It wasn't long before the pills worked their magic and he fell into merciful sleep.

* * *

><p>Bite, chew, rip, spit.<p>

Bite, chew, rip, spit.

It wasn't going to be long before Envy ran out of nails to destroy, but he wasn't even counting.

Bite down, chew through, rip away and spit out.

Bite down, chew through, rip away and spit out.

The words. The three words that had suddenly torn his best friend away and replaced him with an angry stranger, they had broken from his mouth like wayward sons and destroyed the one fragile bond he'd made.

_It's not natural._

He didn't hate Ed. He _didn't. _It would take more than a preference to change that.

_It's not natural._

It just…It just…

Greed _wasn't. _His brother just _wasn't. _And thinking about it, about men and men, boys and boys – it made him want to scratch his skin to pieces.

_Why?_

Because it was _unnatural._

Because Greed had made Wrath scream.

It was _unnatural unnatural unnatural_

it stopped sounding like a word after the tenth time.

Envy hadn't thought that before. Envy had never thought that before. Envy didn't _care _about Ed's sexuality

_It was unnatural unnatural unnatural_

But the thought of Greed taking his desire, his destructive and deadly and driven desires to some other restless boy – the thought of Greed being gay, why did it terrify him so? Why did he, Envy, mercilessly banish it from the realm of possibility

_It's not natural not fucking natural_

Because then Greed and Ed would be the same.

_I don't fucking care if it's natural or not but I don't want Ed to be like that, I don't want Ed to be twisted and sick and dark like him, like Greed –_

With a feeling close to falling, Envy realized he'd already accepted it.

His mind kept spinning in circles, dizzying and deafening. _I can't stay I can't stay he won't let me stay. I've got to go._

_ I'll go home._

The thought made his stomach drop to his floor and the taste of bile to fill his mouth, but he swallowed it down. _Better this way. Better this way. Better this way._

He felt so wrong, so sick, so hollow, so, so fucking _guilty _– he never should have said it. He swallowed, trying to make the feeling stop. He never should have – he didn't mean – he didn't want –

It wasn't often that Envy couldn't understand his own thoughts. He planted his hands against the wall, head hanging down between them as he took deep and arduous breaths in a struggle not to cry.

_What's wrong with me? Why am I freaking out so much? Goddammit, Envy, calm down, calm down, calm the FUCK down…you've never had trouble controlling yourself before, what the hell's going on?_

The room seemed so dark, and a wave of sudden claustrophobia hit him, walls contracting in a sudden movement. A scream rose in his throat, but before it could be released into the still air, Envy grabbed the handle and threw himself through the door. Cold spring air sliced his skin like a scythe, and for a blessed second, he was flying – then falling.

A shock of pain, barely scratching the surface of the numbness that coiled and coated him, reverberated through his arms and legs as his palms and knees collided roughly with the concrete doorstep.

"Hey, y'alright?"

The slight slur and the faint but familiar scent of beer and other spirits made Envy's eyes dart up in a spike of fear that disappeared at the sight of Ling's round face. "L-Ling…" he stammered. "You're…awake…" The words dripped like molasses, but laced with the laudanum that he suddenly feared he'd been dosed with.

"I wasn't asleep, _dobe kawaii._"

To his horror, Envy felt the suppressed tears fight their way out of his eyes. He blinked furiously to stop the few stray drops. "You…heard, then."

"Yup." Ling sat down on the step next to Envy, who was still in the position he'd fallen into. "You two are assholes."

Envy gaped, and then rubbed furiously at his eyes. "I – I – Shut up! He – I –"

"Whoa, whoa." With a tremor in his hand that showed that he was still at least tipsy, Ling placed his hands on Envy's shoulder. "You're hyperventi…hybren…" He quit trying to twist his tongue around the world. "You're _flipping shit,_" he eventually pronounced, with probably a bit more pride than it warranted.

"No sh-_shit, _Sherlock." Envy was suddenly shivering, but it didn't matter. He'd go home. He was going home.

Ignoring the pain in his knees and palms as much as possible, he rose to his feet, stumbling and tottering down the walkway and to the fence that divided the Elric property from the sidewalk. However, that was as far as he got before the short, quick breaths he'd been taking finally caught up with him, colouring his sight with black, dancing spots and forcing him to lean on the fence.

Ling was right behind him, and he carefully held Envy's elbow in an attempt to support him. Envy twisted around to look up at him (he was almost as tall as Greed) with a sardonic smile.

"I thought…thought you were supposed to be the drunk one. Why are you holding _me_ up?"

"Fair question. We're probably both going to end up back on the ground." Before Envy had the chance to process that piece of innuendo, Ling continued, "But I have one carnival rule – wait, that's not right. Whatever. Protip for drinking: always act drunker than y'are. Gets you outta trouble and makes ya look like a badass when you need to. While _you…_"

"What _about _me?" he snapped.

"Yer havin' a panic attack, Envy-chan." Ling pressed his hand against Envy's chest. "Heart's going crazy, quick an' shallow breathin', and you're crying."

"I'm not crying!"

Ling raised an eyebrow, and then ran his finger along Envy's cheek. He pulled it away, the tear on his finger glistening in the faint light of the streetlights and stars.

"Oh." Envy looked away, lips pressed tightly together. Ling stepped forward and pulled Envy into a rough hug.

"Don't worry about it, _tsuyayakana no hito._"

Envy was silent, stifling his sobs against Ling's silk shirt. It was black at first glance, but as he moved his hand along it, it reflected the colours and lights around. It was as delicate as a butterfly's wing, and deep and mysterious as an opal.

The writer in him took it to heart.

"I dunno what's going on," said Ling after a moment. "I dunno why you're at his house, or dressed up like a chick, or whatever. I dunno if you're sleepin' together or something weirder. Even without pretendin', I'm drunk as fuck and my reasoning is shot. But I won't breathe a word, even if I do remember any of it tomorrow."

"Thank you," he whispered in return, unsure if his fragile words had survived the journey to Ling's ears.

"But don't go runnin' off cuz ya think he hates you. Takes a lot more than that to make Ed stop trusting somebody."

"But…I…" _It's not natural._

"Yeah, that was pretty shitty, not gonna sugarcoat it. You're kind of an ass."

Envy snorted despite himself. "Remind me never to accept comfort from a drunken teenager again."

"Hey, hey! I'm jussayin'! But dude, everybody says stupid shit. Look at me. I'm crazy about Russ and I can't say it. And don't even ask about me, Ed, and summer of 2008."

Envy made a mental note to ask at the earliest convenient note.

"Seriously. Don't fucking ask him, or sober me. Don't fucken' do it. So you said something nasty when he was pushing you about your bro." Ling laughed. "You're prettier than most girls, wearin' a dress and got yer ears pierced with us. Not ta mention you and Ed…" Ling crossed his fingers. "_Scandalous._ So nah! He ain't gonna stay pissed, just apologize to him once ya both work it off a bit. How ya feeling?"

It took Envy a moment to realize that Ling had reached the end of his stream of words. "Huh? I…" He swallowed. "Better. I think." His voice was still harsh and raspy.

"That is very good," enunciated Ling with rather too much care, "because I am now going to go sleep on the couch." He took Envy by the shoulders, stood him upright with a wry smile, then walked back into the house.

Envy blinked, and then shook his head. "Weirdo." His chest felt constricted, but the misery that had been so overwhelming just a moment before had loosened its grip at least a bit.

_I should sleep too, _he thought, realizing that exhaustion would only exacerbate his current instability. _I'll apologize to Ed tomorrow. I can make things better._

_ I've got to._


	14. Julia Waits

**Nobody reviewed D: **

**This is the last chapter of Part 2, guys! That means I've gotten through 2/7ths of this story already D: That makes me happy, sad, scared, proud and just about everything else in between XD**

**Still dunno what I'm going to call Part 3, but I figure it'll come to me eventually. Happy reading ^^**

**Part 2: Aoi Tori (Bluebird)**

**Chapter 14**

**Julia Waits**

_Envy's Notebook – Entry #32_

_I would apologize_

_ but bitter words are the hardest to swallow_

_ I would tell you I'm sorry_

_ But I keep telling myself I'll do it tomorrow_

_ But this change that I've wrought_

_ With my careless thoughts _

_ Leaves me with grey in my heart_

_ Leaves me weakened and hollow._

_ It's been a week since Ed and I fought, and things haven't gone back to normal – although I'm not exactly sure what "normal" is supposed to be. He hasn't ruffled my hair or hugged me, or touched me at all since. I've never missed simple human contact before._

_ The insults don't feel like jokes any more. I call him short, he calls me a palm tree, I get bitchy, he gets pissy. I haven't been able to make him laugh. I haven't fixed anything._

_ I keep trying to apologize, really, I do, but, I mean…despite what Ling said, is it going to be enough? I don't know what to say. I don't know how to make it right. If **I **don't know why I said it, how can I possibly justify it to Ed?_

Feeling the familiar frustration build up, Envy closed his book and tucked it under the pillow. He and Wrath shared a room now – a bedroom that had, according to Alphonse, belonged to their parents before Hohenheim had begun travelling.

No mention had been made of their mother.

Envy reviewed the story in his head – Julia Vasquez (himself) and her younger cousin, Sharon Wheeler (Wrath) were in the process of moving from small-town Arizona to Ottawa. Julia's father (and Sharon's guardian) had sent them ahead to stay with old family friends while he struggled with selling their house.

A plausible tale. The problem was, was it a _convincing _one?

Envy fiddled with his hair, still blond as the search for green dye in stodgy, government-town Ottawa continued. He'd been practicing with makeup, and even now was letting his latest experiment with liquid eyeliner dry on his lids.

He glanced up just as Al appeared in the doorway, hiding a smile at the younger boy's rose-coloured glasses and tie-dyed shirt. While Ed straddled the line between punk and flamboyance in his usual style of dress, Alphonse was in both manner and clothing a throwback to the years of Bob Dylan and the Beatles.

Al held up a bag with a smile. "Found some!"

"Some what?"

"Green dye!" He tossed the bag lightly so that it landed on the end of Envy's bed. "I got a few bottles since you have so much hair, and you'll need to touch it up over time as well."

"Thanks, Al. You've been great." He smiled, and Al gave him a thumbs up before disappearing again. From the next room, Envy could hear Wrath's distinctive babbling.

He shook his head with a smile, pulling one of the bottles of dye out of the bag and getting to his feet. _Green with Envy. _It would be a subtle hint to anyone smart enough to care, and a reminder to _himself_. Even in the house (excruciatingly lonely during school hours when Al and Ed were off leading normal lives) he'd felt himself start to lose what scraps of identity he had.

_Julia Vasquez and Envy Angevin – a mask and its maker. And it's only going to get worse when I go back to school._

Ed had taken care of the details. Envy would be doing extra work, but Julia could still get the credits she – he - needed. The blond had worked some magic on the guidance department – Envy attributed it to voodoo, or simply his good looks and natural charm.

Opening and closing the door to the washroom, he turned on the shower and let it run for a moment, holding his hand under the cold water and watching the drops roll down his pale arm.

_Two more weeks and then I go back to school. Two weeks and then I become – truly become – Julia Vasquez._

He was sitting in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables for stew with his nearly-dry hair crackling around his bare shoulders when Ed finally came home. It was an odd fact, a strange quirk in the natures of the boys that Al almost always returned home during his lunch hour while Ed never did.

"Hey, Al, whatcha making –" He stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh. Hey."

"Stop saying hey, pipsqueak, last time I checked you weren't a horse." Envy didn't even turn to look at him, knowing despite himself that he was the one digging this rift deeper, making it wider, harder to breach.

"Pfft. You look like a palm-tree."

Envy chopped the carrot with a little more force than required. "Better a majestic tree than a _bean-sprout._"

"I'M NOT A BEAN-SPROUT, YOU LANKY OVERGROWN MOSS-HEAD!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." _I thought you'd like it, dumbass. It's weird and crazy and totally out of character and it's the kind of thing you love. Come on. Say it._

"Where's Al?"

Envy was glad his back was turned. His disappointment was hard to hide. "Not home yet."

"Huh. Okay." And stomp, stomp, stomp, he was gone upstairs.

Envy kept working, keeping the knife going in time with his pulse. It was slightly faster than normal, but he ignored it. He wasn't upset. And he was going to apologize _eventually. _He just needed an…an opening! He couldn't exactly barge into the idiot's room and apologize. Not without looking a right fool.

_Tcheh. I would have made a good Pride. That's what I get for being raised by the great and noble Dante and Theophrastus Angevin, I suppose._

"FUCK!" The expletive ripped itself from his lips as he raised his finger to his mouth, sucking on it ruefully. He'd managed to nick himself with the knife, having failed to notice that he'd, in fact, reached the end of the carrot.

The sweet, tangy taste of blood filled his mouth as he licked at the cut, waiting for it to stop bleeding. As he did so, he became aware of a commotion outside.

_Oh, that's probably Al. _Still distracted by the throbbing of his finger in his mouth – and further distracted by how _dirty _that had sounded, and how Ed would have laughed at him for it – he sauntered over to the door to see what was going on. He could hear two distinct voices now, both of them familiar.

"You can't!"

"Why not? I need to see him!"

He opened the door, finger still placed firmly in his mouth – and froze when he saw exactly _who _had been making so much noise.

Elysia glared at him, blue eyes filled with a thousand warring emotions. "And who are _you, _Al's little trollop girlfriend?"

"Uh – shorry, whab?" It didn't occur to Envy even to remove his finger.

"No! She's not my girlfriend!" Al recovered admirably, although the panic that had leapt onto his face at Envy's emergence was still present. "She's – look – I – Elysia, this is why you can't come over!"

Elysia crossed her arms over her chest with a scowl, eyes still fixed on Envy. "So _you're _why I haven't been able to talk to Ed. Who are _you_?"

_This is it. Holy shit. I didn't expect Elysia to be the first one I'd have to fool…Oh shit oh shit oh shit._

Envy pulled his finger out of his mouth with a sucking sound and grinned cheekily as he wiped it on his skirt. "I'm Julia Vasquez, _mi chiquita, _and I don't like being called a trollop, sweetheart."

"Yeah, well, I want to know why you're in Ed's house!_" _

"Julia and her cousin are staying with us while her dad sells their house down in…" Al gave Envy a pleading look. The fool had forgotten.

"Arizona, darling, in the hickiest of hick-towns." Envy walked over to Al and threw his – her – arms casually around his neck, kicking up one foot as he gave him a peck on the cheek.

Al, predictably, turned bright red. He gave Envy a slight push on the shoulder. "Stop that, Julia, she already thinks you're a slut, don't give her a reason."

Envy stuck out his bottom lip as overdramatically as possible. "Y-you think I'm a slut, Alphonse?"

"N-no, I never said that -!"

Envy clasped a hand to his forehead in mock horror and shame. "I knew ya would betray me, as soon as ya opened those fine lips o'yours!"

Al sighed. "I'm sorry, Elysia, Julia's a bit of a drama queen."

The girl's eyes were cold. "Let me in to see Ed, Al. _Now._"

The brunette sighed. "He's usually pretty tired after school, Ellie, but…Julia, go make sure W-Sharon isn't being a nuisance, okay? And see if Ed's awake."

"Fine, fine, you cruel wretch. Make me do all the work, don'tcha?" With a parting wink at Al, Envy skipped into the house. He closed the door behind him – and immediately fell against it and sank to the floor, an expression of unbridled panic on his face.

He sprang to his feet again. "WR- er, er – SHARON! GET YOUR FUCKIN' CLOTHES ON!"

Wrath poked his head down the stairwell, and Envy had to blink a few times. He'd finally cut his hair, and what had been a matted mess of hair was now a fairly neat bob that ended halfway between his ears and his shoulders. "What's the matter, En –"

Having anticipated what Wrath would finish his sentence with, Envy bounded up the stairs and all but tackled the younger boy, slamming his hand over his mouth. "Shut _up! _Al and _ELYSIA HUGHES _are outside and she wants to see Ed for some damn reason and just go get your tits on, alright?" he hissed, although the total absurdity of the statement had him wanting to burst into laughter.

"Ah…alright." Wrath disappeared into his and Envy's room to change.

"Hey, what's all the ruckus?" Ed appeared at his own doorway, scratching his head with the dreamy expression of someone who had just been concentrating very hard on something.

Envy was too panicked for niceties. "_Elysia _is outside, Ed, and she's _desperate _to see you, and I am just _damn lucky _I was in my Julia costume. So get your handsome arse down the stairs and calm her down before she rips me a new one and figures out I'm me – not necessarily in that order!"

"Damn, I kept putting off calling her back – hold on. Did you just say I had a nice ass?" Ed grinned at Envy, a flicker of their pre-schism warmth passing between them.

Envy flushed. "Whatever, don't get a big head over it. Now _go!_"

Still grinning, Ed hopped down the stairs. Envy followed, mostly to see what could possibly rile the bubblegum princess herself to such heights. He sat at the top of the stairs, watching the scene unfold through the banisters.

Ed stuck his hands in his pockets. "Hey, Ellie, sorry about not calling you back –"

"HOW COULD YOU?"

Ed blinked, nonplussed, and Envy echoed the gesture. _She can't have figured it out already…_

"Uh, how could I what?"

Elysia's hands were in tight fists by her sides. "He's been missing for a _week, _Ed! And nothing from you – not a status update, not a text, nothing! And you won't even return my calls…I'm going _crazy!" _She was crying openly, and she rubbed at her eyes.

"I…" Ed pulled his hands from his pockets and reached half-heartedly out for her. "I…I'm sorry…"

_She's…she's talking about me. _Envy's heart dropped into his stomach.

Elysia grabbed Ed's hand and pushed it down, glaring at him. "And don't you _dare_ tell me you didn't know! Envy Angevin goes missing, of course it's big news! Or don't you turn on your television?"

"I don't _have _a TV, Ellie –"

"WHATEVER! Internet, people talking, you knew!" Elysia's anger dissipated in a choked sob. She grabbed the front of Ed's jacket, which he hadn't even bothered to take off in the short time he'd been home, and butted her head into his chest. "WHERE IS HE?" she wailed, before finally losing any ability of coherent speech in heartbroken sobs.

Ed closed his arms around her as she cried, glancing up at Envy with a look that clearly said, _I don't know what to do. _Envy shrugged, and then shook his head.

"Listen…" said Ed slowly. "I'm sorry I didn't return your calls. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I've been worried about Envy too, and I forgot that you'd be out of your mind as well."

Elysia gave a loud sniff. "Y're not s'posed to call a girl crazy when she's upset, you know," she murmured into Ed's chest.

"And when – yes, _when_ he comes back, you can lay into him as much as you want about being a git and making you sad. But I'll bet he's fine, just off having an adventure or something."

Elysia pulled back and looked up at Ed with her mouth half-open in total bemusement. "Envy. Having an adventure. Are you serious?"

Ed laughed, ruffling her hair and pulling her back in. "Who knows? Maybe he'll bring you back a present."

"It had better be a pony. I love ponies."

Envy couldn't take any more. Keeping his feet and hands silent, he retreated up the stairs, only to slump against the wall between the rooms, trying to swallow the guilt that had sprung up like a weed in his throat.

It was about ten minutes later when Ed came back up the stair, shoulders weighed down by some invisible burden. He looked up at Envy and smiled crookedly, but it faded after only a moment.

"She's gone. Went back home. Hopefully her dad won't kick my ass."

Envy said nothing, interlocking his fingers one by one and fiddling with his nails. Ed took a few steps until he stood in front of him, hands in his pockets and golden eyes shades darker than normal.

"Envy…" He took a deep breath. "I just lied to a thirteen-year-old girl, and one of my oldest friends."

Envy continued to toy with his fingers, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"I just lied to her, for you." His voice was so tired, so empty.

_I'm sorry. _It wouldn't be hard to say. It shouldn't be.

Ed squatted down, and Envy glanced up nervously through his mascara-coated eyelashes. "Make it worth it," said the blond softly, with something that, a week ago, Envy would have thought to be affection.

Then, he got back up, walking away, and Envy let him though every cell in the thin boy's rail-sized body was screaming to hold him back for one more moment. Ed stopped just before walking into his room, giving Envy one last smile.

"By the way…you look amazing."

Then he was gone, leaving Envy to fight the sudden warmth blooming in his chest and his cheeks.

* * *

><p>Lines in black ink traced him out, fluid and graceful and captured in movement, caught in a jump from a step. His coat and braid flew up behind him, boots stuck out and ready for impact, and fists jammed into the air. His face was an expression of impish delight, lights dancing in his black-and-white sketched eyes.<p>

The next page held the tired, hollow expression from after Elysia's visit, eyes deep and filled with guilt. He'd used a pencil for this one, shading and highlighting every strand of hair and glimmer of light.

The next page was a profile – the angry, shocked, tense and injured Ed from the night of their argument. Every muscle was outlined in gray, and scars littered what was visible of his skin. Envy wondered if one day he'd have memorized where each of them were, but for now, he had to guess.

The next page.

And the next.

He couldn't stop drawing him – or, hiding in the lines of every picture the words that he couldn't seem to say.

The creases of Ed's brows, or wrinkles in his coat, or the lines that radiated away from his hairline – each of them, they spelt out 'I'M SORRY – clear if you knew where to look, impossible if you didn't.

Envy put down his pencil. Another week had gone.

One more week until his first day.


	15. Without a Trace

**IMPORTANT NOTE: I've gone back to a few different chapters (Chapter 3 and 4) to change something that I'm now unhappy with. So you don't have to go back and reread, I'll say it here: Envy's only friend was Martel. Dorochet and Law have been retconned out, since Envy having three friends that were *all* murdered at the same time feels like too much to me, as well as against his personality.**

**Tigerwulf: English Lit is awesome, don't worry XD and thank you! That's exactly what I was going for with the repetition. As far as section names, I never intended it to be alliterated, Butterfly just happened and Bluebird was a shoutout to Bluebird's Illusion. (I suppose this one is now, too. Woah. That was unintentional.) I actually don't think I'll be working on that story after all, but if you want the page or so I wrote of it, you can have it **

**Misuki Miko: Yay :D I've been waiting to get to this point for a while, and I'm glad to hear I've improved!**

**Linea Arlis: No, you didn't magically review. BUT I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEANT BY RHPS ON THE CHAPTER 11 REVIEW _ 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' I'm a dumbass. Just letting you know XD**

**Part 3: Genkaku (Illusion)**

**Chapter 15**

**Without a Trace**

April 7th, 2010

**ANGEVIN CHILDREN MISSING, FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED**

The two youngest children of film star Dante Alighieri Angevin and politician Theophrastus Angevin disappeared on the morning of Sunday April 5th, marking the fifth disappearance this year. Envy (17) and Wrath (13) were last seen by their older brother, one of them leaving the house and the other still asleep.

* * *

><p>"Have there been any issues between you and your brothers recently, Greed?"<p>

The young man shook his head. "None."

"How did Envy seem when he left that morning?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. He seemed alright – a little pissed off, maybe? I dunno."

* * *

><p>"How about school? Was he having issues with anybody there?"<p>

Lust scowled. "Zolf Kimbley was always picking on Envy. He'd come home with bruises all the time from that jerk. Wrath, well…he just doesn't really have any friends. I don't think anybody was particularly _mean _to him though."

"How about Envy's friends?"

She paused, and then shook her head. "The only person he ever cared about outside our family is long gone."

* * *

><p>"Were Envy or Wrath acting strangely at all before they left?"<p>

"No, sir." Sloth kept her eyes demurely downcast and her hands folded neatly in her lap. "Or at least, no stranger than usual."

"How do they act normally?"

"Envy doesn't talk much. Wrath talks too much." She smiled slightly. "Then again, one's my older brother and one's my younger brother. I suppose it makes sense."

* * *

><p>"You said Envy's left for the night before. Where did he go?"<p>

"Why would I know?"

"You're his mother."

Dante inspected her nails with a detached look. "He's old enough that I don't keep track of everything he does. As long as he doesn't embarrass me, I'm perfectly happy. Disappearing like this, however, is not acceptable."

"I see. Do you have any idea what he might consider a safe place?"

"I don't have the slightest clue. All of his grandparents are long dead, and both Theo and I are only children."

* * *

><p>"Has anybody threatened you or your wife?"<p>

"Of course they have. But no one's followed through." Theophrastus folded his arms. "I doubt this is any more than a foolish tantrum."

"Threats – letters? Or just verbal?"

"Nothing more than a few liberals badmouthing me and my policies, I assure you."

* * *

><p>"Miss Ross –"<p>

"Please, just call me Maria."

The policeman smiled despite himself. "Alright then, Maria. How was Wrath at school? Was he a good student?"

"He was an excellent student academically, although I'm afraid his social skills were…less than exemplary."

"Really? How so?"

She shook her head. "You know how it is with little geniuses. They get an A on every test, and they could probably teach the class on their own, but they can't figure out how loud is too loud and when someone's not interested." Maria frowned, pausing for a moment. "There was something else as well, and it worried me, but I never did get a chance to talk to the parents. They were always so busy."

"What was that, Maria?"

"He couldn't _stand _to be touched. He'd have a right fit if anybody even brushed against him wrong."

* * *

><p>"Envy is extremely bright, I'll tell you that right away. But I don't think I've ever been happier to have the police investigating somebody."<p>

"Why's that?"

Roy tapped the surface of the table. "There was something…not right with the kid. He barely talks, he's thin as a rail and just this last Thursday, I had to send him home because he was filthy. He claimed to have slept in a graveyard, then nearly passed out because he hadn't eaten."

"Did you say a _graveyard?_"

"That was my reaction, too. I mean, there's no guarantee he was telling the truth, but he was _covered _in dirt."

"Did you ever reach out to him?"

"A few times, but he never took it."

Detective Hughes tapped his pen against his teeth, then closed his pad and got to his feet. "Well, that's all the questions I have. If you remember anything more that might be useful, well…" He chuckled. "You know my number."

"Glad to be of help, Maes." Roy stood and shook his friend's hand.

"And don't be a stranger, alright? I may not be around much with this case, but Gracia's cooking is still good and Elysia's still an absolute charm."

"She's thirteen. I don't believe you."

"Your loss. Take care!"

Once the high school teacher had left, Hughes collapsed back into his chair and gave his young protégé a helpless look. "I don't have a clue where to start."

"The oldest brother. He's the one most obviously hiding something."

He grinned. "Where would I be without you, Hawkeye?"

"Please don't call me that, sir." Riza Rockbell bent her head to hide the smile that belied her professed dislike of the nickname.

"Alright, so Greed's hiding something. What's he hiding, my little psychologist?"

"I'm not a psychologist."

Hughes rolled his eyes. "Can I nickname you anything without you dissecting it?"

"No." After a moment, she looked up at her superior. "He's guilty about something – guilty enough that he's not outright lying about anything, but he's definitely leaving out a lot."

He got to his feet and, uncapping a marker, wrote 'GREED' in bold letters. "So we take a deeper look into him. What about the sisters?"

"Definitely lying. And they're much less worried than Greed – frankly I'd say they're bigger suspects than he is."

"And the parents?"

Riza tried and failed to suppress a shudder. "Cold, heartless beings who should never have been allowed to have a child, let alone five."

Hughes paused in his scrawling to look back at her with a mix of surprise and sympathy, then pushed his glasses further onto his face. "They're not exactly mad with concern for their sons, are they?"

"And, unfortunately, they're telling the truth."

"That's a pity. I'd love to arrest them."

Riza chuckled slightly, and then sighed. "Mr. Hughes, I –" she began, but was interrupted by the arrival of the other two members of their team.

"Bad news, boss." Havoc pulled a plastic bag from the larger one he was holding and threw it on the desk. "Take a look at that."

A chill ran down Riza's back as Hughes picked it up, looking at the label on the small pill bottle inside. "Adovan. Sleeping pills?"

"They're the older sister's prescription, but apparently she didn't even notice they were missing."

"Missing?" parroted Riza, but the sick feeling in her stomach told her the answer even before Havoc did.

"We found those under Envy's pillow. Haven't counted them but looks close to thirty, forty pills."

Hughes frowned. "Do you think he was using them?"

Havoc shook his head. "Call me morbid, but I don't think he was planning on using these for sleeping."

"I see. What else did you find, Armstrong?"

Olivier snorted. "His computer, some clothes, a few old photos, and some old notebooks. Nothing illegal, nothing dangerous, not even a hint to who he spends time with."

"Let me see the photos."

Olivier sat down next to Riza, pulling out two frames and handing them to the dark-haired detective. "They're dated 2006."

Hughes took them, narrowing his eyes – but the moment he saw the first photograph, his face softened, a sad smile replacing his determined expression. The second even made him chuckle slightly. After a moment, he sat down and leant forward, looking carefully at Riza.

"Hawkeye, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

She looked down, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"What's going on, Boss?" asked Havoc, but a dull 'thud' and sharp intake of breath later, he was silent.

Riza took one of the photos from Hughes with trembling hands, turning it so that the preteens frozen in time were staring up at her with their cheeky grins. "I'd almost forgotten," she said in a low voice.

"She looks almost just like you. Who is she?"

She took a deep breath, trying to stay professional and together. It had been three years, after all.

She pointed to the twelve-year-old girl on the left of the picture, with her arm slung around the younger Envy's shoulders. The girl had short blonde hair, the same colour as Riza's, but where Riza's eyes were a chocolate brown, hers were a bright and vibrant green. "Her name was Martel. She was my little sister."

"Martel Rockbell?" exclaimed Havoc. "But –"

Olivier promptly elbowed him the stomach. "Shut up, you sad sack."

Riza nodded. "I'd forgotten. How did I forget? She and Envy Angevin were…" She shook her head. "Impossibly close."

"Do you want to be taken off the case?"

She didn't answer immediately, but then shook her head, looking up at him. "Envy's missing. I owe it to her to find him and bring him safely home."

Maes grinned and gave her hand a squeeze. "Excellent." He jumped to his feet. "Havoc, you and Hawkeye –"

"Rockbell…"

" – read through the journals and his computer files. Armstrong, you go down and see if Miles has got anything for fingerprints or DNA from their rooms. I'm going to look into their records, see if there's anything on them."

* * *

><p>Havoc leant back in his chair with a groan, letting the journal fall from his hands to the floor. "I need a smoke… There's nothing in this except bad love poems!"<p>

Riza chuckled. "Do they happen to be addressed to M?"

He laughed, picking up the journal again. "The whole damn _thing _is."

"What year is yours? Mine is 2006."

"2007." He opened it up again, not noticing how she quickly wiped the back of her hand against her face. He read silently for a few minutes…then stopped.

"I think…" Havoc swallowed, and looked up at Riza. "Um…You know what, I'll just go show this to the boss."

He got up, but she grabbed his arm as he passed. "Show me."

He laid the book in front of her, and she breathed out slowly. The page was covered in words – no, just three words, repeated over and over again, scrawled in different sizes and filling every space that could be filled.

_MARTEL I'M SORRY_

* * *

><p>The apartment building was a dark and forbidding shadow against the setting sun, the grey brick soaking in light like a sponge. It was late – later than Riza had hoped.<p>

As she walked through the front door and waited for the elevator, her thoughts rolled around like lead ballast.

_How am I going to tell her?_

_ Should I?_

_ How am I going to do this case?_

_ Where is he?_

_ What happened to him?_

_ What happened to her?_

_ Are we going to get answers?_

Her little family had had the pall of Martel's unsolved murder hanging over their heads for three years, and she'd had enough.

Then, she stepped into the elevator, looked up and came face to face with her reflection. For a moment, with the shine of the green-lit numbers, it was like Martel had lived to her twenty-third birthday, lived to grow up –

The doors closed behind her, and safe from prying, watching eyes, Riza buried her face in her hands and let herself cry.

She managed to get herself under control by the time the elevator reached the seventh floor where she lived, wiping a few stray droplets from her face and hoping her eyes didn't seem too red.

Unlocking and opening the door to the apartment, she called out, "I'm home!" Her call was answered by a flurry of frenetic yips and barks, and even as she put down her purse, a ball of fur launched itself into her arms, knocking her over backwards into the hall.

"Haha, hey there, Hayate." She scratched the excitable dog behind his ear, then picked him up as she rose to her feet to close and lock the door behind her. Behind Hayate limped Den, Riza's slower, older and more reserved pet – although no less affectionate, amended the police officer as Den licked at her hand, wobbling slightly on her three legs.

"Sis! You're home!" The third inhabitant of the apartment appeared just as suddenly as the dogs had, wrapping her arms around Riza and squeezing.

"Sorry I'm late, Winry."

"To be honest, I barely noticed – I had a breakthrough on my design, you see, and I was just about to take some more of Den's measurements."

Riza chuckled, patting her younger sister's cheek affectionately. Winry Rockbell was nineteen years old, standing almost as tall as her with the same wheat-gold hair and fair skin, but with bright sky-blue eyes instead of brown or green. Finished with high school for almost a year now, Winry had foregone the stresses of higher education for trying to make her dream of being a mechanic a reality in the safe haven of their apartment.

"So," Winry flopped down onto the couch, pushing up the black bandana that threatened to fall down over her eyes. "what kept you so late? Do you have another case?"

"Yeah." Riza sat down next to her. "Win, do you remember Envy Angevin?"

"Course I do. Martel's friend, right?"

"He's gone missing, him and his brother."

"What? Seriously?" Winry frowns. "Do you think it has something to do with Martel –"

"I don't know," replied Riza prematurely, cutting her off sharply. "I don't think so."

"Oh." Winry laced his fingers together then released them, toying with them in her lap with her eyes downcast. After a moment, Riza took one of the fidgeting hands in her own and gave it a squeeze.

"Have you had dinner?" asked the older woman, receiving only a shake in response. She got to her feet. "I'll order in – feel like Chinese?"

Winry didn't answer, so she went ahead, pulling out the takeout menu and picking up the phone. A few moments later, she placed it back in its cradle.

"Winry…" she said haltingly, "I think you need to get out of the house more."

"What? What do you mean?"

" When was the last time you talked to anybody who wasn't me?"

"Um…" Winry thought for a moment. "Er, I'm not sure."

Riza couldn't help but smile a bit. "When you take Hayate and Den for their walk tomorrow, how about you take a different route? And actually talk to someone."

"What? I don't know how to talk to strangers!"

"Lovely day, isn't it? I like your garden. Where'd you get that coat?" Riza patted Winry's shoulder. "Being cooped up all day can't be good for you."

Winry pulled a strange face, but then nodded. "Alright, I'll do that." Her nervousness was obvious from her expression, but in her eyes there was a hint of excitement.

* * *

><p>Riza's eyes snapped open in the blackness as a sudden realization sliced through her dreams. The clock read four in red lights, but she didn't care.<p>

She picked up the phone and dialled in a number, then put it to her ear, hoping he'd pick up. Three rings later, a groggy voice trickled down the line.

_"Whozat?"_

She chuckled. "Havoc, it's Rockbell."

_"Riza?"_

She was about to tell him off when she realized that they weren't technically at work. She could let him slide…this once. "Listen, I just figured something out about the notebooks."

_"At…four in the morning?"_ He didn't sound mad, exactly – just frustrated and a little amused.

"We read ones from 2005, 2006 and 2007, right? What were the dates on all of them?"

_"Uh…2005 to 2008's all, I think. I was gonna read the last one tomorrow. That last entry on 2007 kinda shook me."_

"So where's the most recent one?"

_"Huh?_"

"This kid writes constantly, and has been since he was eleven. So why is the latest one we have from two years ago?"

_"Oh. I think I'm following you here."_

"Think about everything we saw, everything we heard. Envy and Wrath weren't kidnapped, they_ ran away _and Envy took his notebook with him because this kid has _got to write everything down._"

"_That's awesome, Riza. Means we can completely rule out ransom." _He paused. _"Now can I go back to sleep? Breda and his latest…friend kept me awake until past midnight anyway."_

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll let you sleep, then."

_"Night, Riza."_

"Goodnight…Jean." She hung up the phone, the rush of adrenaline from her epiphany already fading.

Envy and Wrath Angevin had left of their own accord. They hadn't been kidnapped, hadn't been killed.

But the world was a dangerous place. She knew that better than a lot of people.

* * *

><p>A week passed, and even with knowing that the boys had run away, there was no progress.<p>

_None._

And the worst part was, nobody seemed to care.

* * *

><p>"Talk to anybody new today, Winry?" teased Riza gently, as the younger blonde turned bright red.<p>

"I…I will eventually! But I think I'm going to try a different street, because the one I tried had creepy people on it and I don't like it."

Riza frowned. "Hm. What about Flamel and Rizenbul? That's a good neighbourhood."

"Alright! Will do!"

Riza couldn't stop tracing it with her pen – clicked shut, of course, to avoid tampering with evidence. It was perfect, the blue lines that marred it barely even noticeable.

One strand of her short hair, drawn in the faded grey of thin pencil and smudged by the flipping of the pages and the passing of the years, fell over her heart-shaped face, skirting the edge of her shaded eyes. She was looking straight out of the page with a wry smile, and Riza could practically hear the voice she'd missed hearing for so long in its surprisingly deep tone. _Really, Envy? You're drawing me again? You're silly._

She traced it again.

And again.

And again.

It was almost like a goodbye, even though there were flaws – small ones, tiny ones that even three years later Riza noticed.

Her ears were a little too pointed. Her neck was a little too long. Her chest was too pronounced – she hadn't even lived long enough to fully develop.

Riza put down the pen. Another week had gone.


	16. Sink or Swim

**Ahh, I'm not looking forward to writing this part ==; Mostly because my favourite one comes right after and I'm impatieeeent!**

**I like to think Envy looks a bit (a lot) like Charlie from KhaosKomix in this chapter, except with longer hair. Little bit of Russvy in this one, just because. And EVERYBODY has friends like Russell and Ling :P Soooo frustrating, yet so hilarious.**

**If you haven't yet, check out Beauty and the Beast: 100 Themes of Edvy on my profile! I made up 100 themes just so I could write in-universe drabbles :3 (Well. Mostly in-universe. Ish.) So yeah, go take a look ^^**

**YukinoKara: Yay, you reviewed~ you were the only one, so I'm glad you did. BAD LURKERS! BAD! *ahem* Winry and Riza were fun to write, I really wanted to include them without making them romantic rivals like usual. And I've always had the idea of making the three girls sisters since they looked so similar :P I'm glad you like it ^^ Thanks so much for being my wonderful beta 3**

**Part 3: Genkaku (Illusion)**

**Chapter 16**

**Sink or Swim**

"Changed my mind. Being a short-order cook now."

Ed rolled his eyes, and gave Envy a push in the small of his back. "Come _on _already, Julia."

Envy stood resolutely at the threshold of the house, hands clenched around the straps of his backpack. A second later, he tried to turn back. "Ah, uh, maybe I should try this tomorrow. Mondays are bad luck, you know."

Ed chuckled despite himself, grasping Envy's shoulders and turning him gently back around. "Door's _that _way, love."

The boy's face went scarlet, matching his blouse perfectly. "Don't call me that," he muttered as he took a faltering step onto the concrete stair.

_Right, right, he doesn't like that. _Ed's mood soured at the reminder that his best friend (and unfortunate crush) was a homophobe. _Although he hasn't brought it up in three weeks, which is weird._

"En – er, Julia, are you giving Ed trouble?" Ed looked over his shoulder and grinned widely. Wrath was standing at the top of the stairs, bouncy and spirited in a white sundress and hair pinned back with pink barrettes. Al had cut off most of the matted mess, leaving 'Sharon' with a black and miraculously straightened bob.

Envy stuck out his lower lip, the rose-coloured flesh contrasting with his black lipstick. "I'm not giving nobody trouble, Sharon. I've just decided that education's a waste of time." His Julia voice was perfect, complete with bad grammar and a feathery, husky overtone.

"Scared?" Wrath clasped his hands behind his back and narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"S-scared? Ha! I'll show you scared!" Envy hoisted the backpack further onto his shoulders, and then took off with a cackle. A few moments later, there was a yell of surprise.

"Julia!" Ed stuck his head out of the door – then bit the back of his hand to stop himself from laughing.

Envy propped himself up, blinking furiously and shaking his head to try to clear the afterimages of his fall. It took a second for it to click that he'd fallen on _top _of somebody –

"Good morning to you, ma'am, but I'm afraid you're just not my type," drawled a familiar, accented voice.

"Russell!" Envy rolled to the side, and then belatedly remembered his disguise. "You're Russell, right? I've heard _so _much about you!"

He chuckled, blushing despite himself, and then sat up and held out his hand. "Russell Tringham indeed. I don't think I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintance."

"I'm Julia, Julia Vasquez." Envy looked Russell up and down. He was wearing a tight white shirt, tan riding pants suited to his long legs, and maroon suspenders, one of which hung off of his shoulder and rested in the crook of his elbow. "And as far as acquaintances, _señor, _I'm _extremely _pleased to be making yours."

There was a throaty laugh from behind them, and Envy craned his neck backwards.

"Looks like you've got a fangirl, Russ."

"Ling!" At Russell's confused expression, Envy backpedalled. "Uh, we've met. He was at Ed's house a while ago, when I'd just gotten there." Ling nodded, grinning from ear to ear as usual.

"Oh, I see." Russell dusted off his white shirt with a carefully controlled expression. "Was I the _only _person who didn't know that you existed?"

"Don't be like that, Russell-chan, I wasn't supposed to know either –"

Russell got to his feet, then slotted his hands into his pockets, standing eye-to-eye with Ling. They were the same height, and standing too close to seem platonic. A nervous energy crackled in the silence.

Envy glanced up at Ed, who shrugged. _So he doesn't know what's going on either…are they _still_ fighting?_

The tension lasted for another few seconds, before Ling laughed nervously, looking down and to the side. "Really, I was just as shocked as you are now. A girl? Living with Ed? It's like a sitcom gone wrong."

Russell tried bravely to keep his solemn demeanour intact, but the small twitch at the corner of his lips gave way to a wry smile. Moving slightly backwards, he gave Ling a friendly slap on the back before leaning down and holding out his hand to Envy. "Sorry for bowling you over like that."

Envy took his hand and let himself be pulled up. "Aw, it's fine, it was my fault anyway…" The rest of his sentence died in his throat when he realized that he was only about an inch away from the handsome blond, the one of his eyes not covered by his bangs glittering deep blue.

Russell bent deliberately down and planted a gentlemanly kiss on Envy's hand.

_The fuck?_

_ The FUCK?_

_ Hold on, hold on, I thought he was gay._

_ OH MY GOD HE CAN TELL_

_ But he would never treat me like this normally –_

The mystery, however, was solved a moment later when Russell gave Ling a pointed look, as if to say _So there. _Ling turned his head petulantly, the beginnings of a pout forming on his face and his back noticeably slouched.

"Well," he said quickly, before Russell took it upon himself to find some other contrived way of 'flirting with the new girl', "we'd better get going."

"But Ling, we have a morning spare –"

"Don't want dear_ Julia," _this was said with a clear emphasis on the name, "to be late for _her_ first day of school." With that, he grabbed Russell's arm and started walking ahead.

Envy watched them as they walked in step, Russell wrenching his arm away with a scowl.

Ed walked up beside him, and they started down the road, staying well behind the arguing pair. Leaning slightly over, he began to say something, then hesitated before continuing in a low voice.

"Still not gay, Julia?"

The familiar teasing words shocked Envy enough that he stumbled, then recovered, staring at Ed with a blooming warmth. "Wh-what? No! I mean yes! I'm not –" He gave up, trying to stop grinning.

"Don't look so damn happy about it," added Ed awkwardly, punching Envy lightly in the shoulder.

"But…I…"

"You're still here, aren't you?"

Envy realized that the blond was turning red with embarrassment. _Looks like I'm not the only one with pride issues._

"Say, Ed, why do you have such tall friends?" He tapped his chin in consideration. "Or maybe they just look tall next to you."

"I'M NOT SMALLER THAN A QUARK, YOU SKINNY-ASSED NOODLE – huh?" Ed's rant was cut short by Envy's arms wrapping around him, false chest pressed against him in a tight embrace.

"Yes, you are. Midget."

"What was the _point _of that?" groused Ling, crossing his arms.

Russell scowled. "What do you mean? She seems nice."

"Oh _yes, _she seems absolutely _lovely._ She's also got tits out to _here," _Ling indicated on his own chest,_ "_which I happen to know quite well is not your thing."

"Because you know my sexual preferences in and out?"

Ling scoffed. "You practically introduced yourself like that!" He raised his voice and mimicked a British accent. "Cor, guv'nor, I'm crooked as an elm branch, yes I am, indeedy, what ho and a cup of tea!"

"You're a disgrace."

"And you're making a fool of yourself to prove a point!"

Russell snorted, rolling his eyes. "That point being…?"

Ling waggled his finger in front of the other boy's face. "Don't. Get. Coy. With. Me. Russell Tringham."

"Get your finger out of my face before I bite it off."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Still, he obeyed. "Besides, you're being childish. I haven't even slept with anybody in…" he took a moment to count on his fingers. "Two weeks!"

"Oh, how wonderful for you. Here's a memo: giving your pecker a two-week vacation doesn't make you less of a slag."

"I don't know what that means, but I'm getting the feeling it's an insult."

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah, well, _teme wa ikkoku to sekoi raba desu. _See, I have the decency to say it in a language you don't understand, so you don't get offended. Aren't I thoughtful?"

Russell didn't even honour that last statement with an answer, stalking on ahead with the gracefulness of a wounded deer.

Ling took a moment to think back on their conversation, and then proceeded to smack himself roundly.

There was something irritatingly familiar about his new student.

Roy Mustang tapped his fingers against the chalkboard he was leaning against as teenagers filed in, gaze never wavering from the girl perched on the edge of her desk. Julia Vasquez wasn't the kind of person he would have forgotten, he felt sure of that. She was strikingly pale, with moss-green hair in a high ponytail that fell to the middle of her back, and shapely legs that were hugged by striped black-and-purple leggings –

He hurriedly removed his gaze. He was _already _in deep enough trouble, no need to make it worse.

Still, it bothered him. He prided himself on never forgetting a face, even if it was slathered in makeup like the ostensibly-Hispanic girl's, yet this one eluded him no matter how he tried.

Dammit, he was supposed to be a _genius. _He was not going to be beaten, albeitly indirectly, by some slip of a girl.

"Alright, class, I've written some basic – and I mean basic – problems on the board. You've got ten minutes. Elric, that means ten minutes of working, not ten minutes of complaining to Yao about how underappreciated Doris Day is."

Ed spluttered, turning crimson in indignance, apparently completely unaware of how hot he got when he was mad. "That was uncalled for! And for your information, Mustang, I don't even LIKE Doris Day!"

In the seat behind Ed, Julia thumped her head onto the desk, shaking with barely-controlled laughter.

Ling shrugged. "Who the heck is Doris Day? You should really be nicer to me, Mustang-sensei, I'm your best student."

"I'll be nicer to you when you stop pretending you actually speak Japanese. Now _get to work."_

Ling's jaw dropped open in horror, and Ed's outrageous cackle almost completely blocked out Julia's whispered "Buuurn…"

So maybe the Doris Day jab had been undeserved, but Roy _knew _Ling was faking it. He'd taught four out of the ten Yao siblings, and none of them had ever set foot in Japan.

"Okay, ten minutes are up. Elric, tell us the answer to question one."

He groaned. "You're _always _picking on me."

"Because you constantly don't pay attention."

"Yeah, but that's your fault."

Roy raised an eyebrow, glad he was standing behind his desk. "Oh? How is it my fault? Would you like to stay after class to explain it to me – again?"

"Fine, fine, fine."

"It's twenty grams," cut in a strange voice before Ed could answer, and all eyes in the class (except, noted Roy, Ed, Ling Yao and the Tringham boy) turned towards Julia Vasquez. She glanced downwards in a moment of shyness, then met Roy's eyes and grinned, black lipstick cracking slightly at the corners of her mouth. "Check it if you think it's wrong."

"No, that's correct. Question two?"

"Thirty-seven point seven grams."

"The next."

"Forty five point six five percent. Honestly, Professor, these aren't hard questions. I don't know why you're surprised."

Roy reached down past the desk and pinched the skin of his leg. "Oh, I'm just glad to finally have a student in my class capable of answering rudimentary questions."

He didn't find anything in his banter that was any harsher than his usual spiel, despite how he pulled it apart in his head. But the sadness that passed over and rested on Julia's face like a shadow – and the anger that lit up in Ed's eyes – was almost tangible.

Eventually, the class ended, and Ed remained, sitting obstinately in his desk with his arms crossed tightly across his chest as Roy erased the board.

"That wasn't fair."

"What wasn't, Ed?" Roy kept his voice level, knowing the fiery blond well enough to know that even a well-meant joke at this point could trigger an explosion.

"Saying that Julia was the first person in the class who was actually good at Chemistry."

"That's not actually what I said, but…" Roy turned around, leaning on the chalkboard. "I mock my students on a constant basis, Ed. It's what I do. It's why you like me. What's so different this time?"

Ed's hands fell into his lap, clenching and unclenching. "Envy."

_Oh. _It was like a puzzle piece clicking into place, usually a satisfying feeling but in this case, a realization of a major misstep on his part.

"You're acting like he doesn't even exist. Just like everybody else does."

Roy sighed. "Envy's a good student, but –"

"Get it _right, _you bastard, he's a goddamn brilliant one." Ed jerked his head up, eyes blazing. "He's a _genius, _but you've just written him off now."

"Be fair, Edward. He hasn't shown up to any classes in a month –"

Ed threw his desk to the side with an almighty crash. "He's a fucking MISSING PERSON!"

_Shit. I misjudged._

Roy rounded the corner of his desk slowly. "I'm sorry. I know that. I just meant – I'm sorry."

Ed blinked furiously, making Roy wonder if he was fighting back tears. "He's missing and you don't even care."

The teacher took Ed's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. "I do care. Don't think for a moment I don't care about every single one of my students."

Ed looked up with a wry grin. "Even me?" he asked with dripping sarcasm.

"_Especially _you. Somehow." He couldn't let it rest with a joke though. "You're very…passionate…about my perceived slight on Envy's part. Is – was – there something going on?"

Ed's eyes went wide, a flush painting his cheeks crimson. "Are you kidding me? I'm dating you, aren't I?" he said with a laugh.

_Dating. Yeah._

"Well, I wouldn't blame you for fooling around with a boy your own age. I'm far too old for you and we both know it. Not to mention how fired I'm going to be if it ever gets out…"

"It _won't_." Ed pressed his face into Roy's chest, breath warm and tingly through the thin cotton of his shirt. "Nobody knows 'cept you and me."

"Well, then." Roy leant down and kissed Ed fiercely, biting the teen's lower lip gently. "Let's enjoy our time."

"So how was your first day…_Julia?_" asked Ed with a snigger.

Envy rolled his eyes. "If one more person hits on me weirdly, I swear, I will deliver the greatest Falcon Punch that ever was!" He demonstrated, striking a kung-fu pose in the middle of the street.

Ed shook his head. "You are so weird."

He dropped the pose, letting his arms flop down. "I know. It's kind of a pain. I don't like being showy, but Julia does."

"You're having fun, though, right?"

Envy nodded. "Surprisingly so, yes. Even if I have to pretend like English is my second language when I don't even _know _any others."

"You didn't have to be Spanish, you know."

"It adds flavour!" Envy sniffed. "You wouldn't understand. It's all part of the subtle nuances of character-building."

"Snob."

"Philistine."

"Bitchypants."

"I'm not even wearing pants!"

The banter continued, the shadow of the argument finally lifted after three weeks of stubborn pride. _I missed you, _thought Envy as hard as possible, although he stopped short of saying it out loud.

Suddenly, Ed's attention was drawn by another person down the road. "Hey, look at that. It's Winry!"

"Who?" _It's not a common name, but, I mean, it can't be that uncommon…right?_

"What, you've never seen Winry before?" Ed started walking towards her, still talking to Envy and forcing him to follow along. "She walks her dogs down this road around this time."

_Oh no. Oh God help me. Oh fuck no._

Envy froze as the girl got closer. "Hey, Ed! Who's your friend?"

"Oh, this is Julia. Julia, this is Winry."

Winry grinned, switching a leash to the other hand. "Nice to meet you, Julia. Do you go to Ed's school?"

Envy couldn't speak, staring into Winry's eyes. This wasn't fair. This wasn't _fucking _fair. She was nineteen now, for Christ's sake!

And suddenly he was bolting, making a mad dash for the house and the safety of four walls and a ceiling and somewhere _quiet –_

- and he was inside, but he wasn't far enough away –

-and he sank onto the floor of his room, sitting straight-backed against the closed door, and it was all coming back and _stop it go away stop it stop it stop it_

He could hear their voices, drifting up through the window, faint and scratchy.

"Is she alright?"

"Er, I dunno. She's new to the country, kind of shy."

"Oh, I see. Well, I should get going. Good to see you, Ed!"

"Yeah, you too, Win."

Footsteps – why were there always footsteps before something bad happened? But this time, this time, it would be okay, right?

"Hey, Envy," came Ed's voice, soft and full of concern. "Are you alright?"

Dumbly, he moved away from the door and let it open behind him.

"Shit, what's wrong?"

Envy couldn't speak just yet, but drew a deep breath, pushing his knees away from his chest. A minute passed, Ed on his knees next to him, waiting.

"Her name was Martel. And Winry is her older sister."

And it all came pouring out for the first time in three years.

**Yes, I'm making you wait for the full story of Martel. Because I'm an evil weevil.**

**Boy, this chapter kind of got away from me. It was supposed to be shorter, but that didn't happen :P**

**I've become aware that many of my earlier chapters need editing like mad. Especially with me not being quite sure what was happening. So here is the story, bros and girls and others, I'm going to finish this fanfic and then I am going to go through and fix all the grammar problems and continuity errors because I'm obsessed with perfection. Then I'm probably going to write a sequel because I'm insane like that.**

**Ta~**


	17. Bette Davis Eyes

**Longchap is long. As in, this should prooobably be an entire part on its own. Frankly, Envy and Martel could be their own fic, but I think that would be a bit too much of a digression from canon :P**

**YukinoKara: Julia!Envy is possibly one of my favourite things about writing this story. Sass sass sass everywhere. The situation with Ling and Russell, unfortunately, is taken almost completely from real life. Idiots. _. And yeah, yeah, don't worry, they'll break up. Jeez, have some patience. 49 chapters! Just remember that! And now that you've seen how freakin' long Martel's story…well, making you wait was better than the alternative of GIFREAKINGNORMOUS CHAPTER. XD Thanks as always for being my beta ^^**

**Part 3: Genkaku (Illusion)**

**Chapter 17**

**Bette Davis Eyes**

_I was twelve years old when I first met Martel Rockbell._

"Let go of me -!"

"Not until you pay for that pocketful of candy!" The burly shopkeeper had her arm in a tight grip, wrenched up so that the rangy girl was standing on her toes with gritted teeth.

I walked up and tapped him on the elbow, trying not to wince at he swivelled around and stared down at me. "What do you want?" he asked brusquely.

Wordlessly, I handed him a ten-dollar bill. His eyes flickered from the bill to my face a few times.

"What're you buying?"

I shook my head, and then looked pointedly at the rascal still struggling to escape his grip.

"Oh, I see, covering for your friend." He took the bill, and then gave her a withering glare before returning to his place behind the counter. "But I don't want to see your mangy little ass in here again, got it, Runt?"

"Go suck eggs!" She stuck up her middle finger, and then darted out of the door with a parting giggle as he slammed the counter with both of his meaty fists.

I walked up to him and placed the chocolate bar I'd actually intended on buying on the counter, still without saying a word.

* * *

><p>She was waiting for me when I left, sitting on the curb and tossing stones into the empty street while she gnawed on one of the purloined gummy worms. I sat down next to her, and she grinned at me, emerald eyes bright despite the shopkeeper's harshness.<p>

"Thanks for that! I thought he was going to rip my arm off, though I think my ear might have gone first, the way he was going on." She pulled another sweet from her pocket, brought it halfway to her mouth, but then seemed to reconsider. "Gummy worm?"

I looked at it for a moment, unsure how clean her pockets – or for that matter, her hands – were. I took it anyway, not wanting to offend.

She popped a Big Foot into her mouth, chewing noisily. "That's the sixth shop I've been banned from now. They get a policeman if you get caught twice at the same place, you know. And Minnie says she'd beat me black and blue if I get another policeman after me. I'm Martel, by the way, and sass me on my name and I'll be beating _you._"

I shrugged noncommittally. The idea hadn't even occurred to me.

"I bet you're wondering who Minnie is, she's the woman I live with and I swear she's secretly a witch! If I'm bad, she says she'll boil me alive for soup, and she's so fat she prolly eats kids sixty meals a day." Martel snorted. "So the trick is to not get caught being bad, get it?"

I nodded. I didn't get it.

"Man, he's givin' me the stink-eye again." Martel stuck her tongue out in the general direction of the shop window, and then jumped to her feet. "What's your name?" When I gave no reply other than a shrug, she tucked her fist under her chin. "Huh. I think I've seen you before."

Aaand here it comes.

"Woah, you ain't never!" She made two L-shapes with her fingers and held them up to my face, one eye squeezed shut and mouth in a sideways _moue. _"Oh my god, are you Envy Angevin?"

I sighed deeply, and then nodded.

"That's so wicked! Oh my god, you're in magazines and newspapers and you've got a zillion pictures online and your mum's in movies and stuff!" Her face was lit up with childish joy, the strand of hair between her eyes bobbing up and down as she squirmed in delight. "I got my butt rescued by a famous person!"

With another sigh, I turned and began to walk away – but I wasn't going to be rid of the bouncy delinquent that easily. A barrage of questions followed me as she skipped down the road, sometimes behind me, sometimes in front, and darting from side to side, making it impossible to figure out where she was at any given time.

"So why's your name Envy? It's a weird name. I heard all your sibbies have weird names like that, too. I like your shirt, it's awesome. What does it say? Green Day? Green Day is cool. That shirt's too big for you though, it looks like a dress. Is it your brother's? You have a big brother, right? I saw it on telly. Man, it must be creepy that I know lots about you and you know like nothing about me…I'm twelve, I'm blonde, I can kick your butt, and if I can't, my big sister can!"

Whatever else I might come to think of Martel Rockbell in time, my first thought with any real substance was hardly telling. _Does she not need to breathe? She's like a frog or something, who can breathe through their skin._

"…You're really quiet. Has anyone ever told you that?"

I swivelled around and gave her a witheringly sarcastic glare. She, wonder of wonders, actually shut up, pushing her fingers together nervously. "Uh. Sorry."

I waved my hand at her. _Don't worry about it. _It was pretty amazing what humans could communicate just through gestures.

A moment later – "Wowee, is this your house?"

I nodded, then with a jolt, realized she was staring shyly at the ground, twisting the toe of her tattered trainers into the road and keeping her hands folded behind her back. "I, er, guess I'll go then." The entire effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that her cheek was packed with at least four gummy bears.

I reached out just as she turned to leave, encircling the crook of her elbow with the barest of touches. Martel looked back, eyes widening with hope.

I opened my mouth, hoping my voice wouldn't crack too much. "Stay. If you want to."

* * *

><p>"Don't tell me not to LIVE, just sit and putter! Life's candy, and the SUN'S a ball of butter! Don't bring around a CLOUD to rain on my pa-RAAAADE!"<p>

Of course, Martel's first introduction to my family was Lust belting out Barbara Streisand. Of _course._

"Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply GOT to – oh!" Lust cut herself off abruptly as I waved awkwardly. "Hallo, Envy! And – oooh…" Her voice took on a different tone as Martel rounded the corner. "Who is _this?"_

"Lust, this is Martel. Martel, Lust."

"Six words! A miracle!" Lust leant down and pinched Martel's cheeks, much to the younger girl's indignation. "You're a cutie, too."

"I'm not _cute, _shuddup!"

"Fine, fine." Lust tugged at her red blouse, and then leant over to give the person playing the piano a kiss on the head. "Let's try that one again, Hugo, darling."

* * *

><p>Martel ended up coming over almost every day for the rest of the summer. It wasn't planned – she just 'happened' to be in the neighbourhood on a constant basis, always in her typical grubby state.<p>

"Don't you ever wash?" I complained once.

"I don't see the point! I'm just gonna get dirty again, aren't I?"

"That's _seven-year-old _logic. We're going into Grade 7, we need to be grown-up – which means being _clean._"

"Fine, fine, pahh. Hey, least we're going to the same school, right?"

"Don't remind me," I said with a groan. Lust had persuaded my parents to let me go to public school for the first time, after six years of home-schooling – which meant that I actually had to hold conversations with people outside of my immediate family. Martel, however, was excellent practice, and two weeks before the Grade 7 year started, we could talk almost like normal people.

* * *

><p>MARTEL: Hey, are u just as bored as me?<p>

ENVY: This class is complete and utter hogwash.

MARTEL: ha! ill take that as a yes

MARTEL: wanna ditch next?

ENVY: My conscience says no

ENVY: but my poor protesting intelligence says yes

I looked up from my phone screen and across the classroom to where Martel was sitting. She gave me a dastardly wink – we'd been separated a month in for the sake of the poor teacher's sanity.

By the next bell we were gone, headed past the chain-link fence and towards the park.

* * *

><p>"Envy, did you skip again today?"<p>

"Uhh…"

"Don't lie to me." Lust crossed her arms, an impressive scowl on her usually sunny face. "If you keep this up, Mum's going to bring you straight back home – and probably ban Martel from the house while she's at it."

"Only way Mum's going to find out is if you tell her –"

"You think the school doesn't call, Envy?" She rubbed her temples with a groan. "You're lucky it's always me who picks up the phone – but your luck's not going to hold much longer. _Stop. Skipping. Class._"

"Fine," I hissed. "But everything's so _easy! _We're in Grade 7 and we're on simple algebra."

"As you should be."

"But I _know _all this!"

"I know you do." She sighed, then reached forward and plucked at my sleeve until I sat down next to her. "Listen, Envy, school's not just important for your education. It's about socializing – actually spending time with people your own age."

"I've got Martel."

"I know you do. My _point _is, Mum will pull you out if you keep on with this shit. And she will absolutely never let you see Martel again once she figures out that it was her idea to begin with."

That was the threat that made me stop skipping.

* * *

><p>It was a day in late March of Grade 7 that Martel showed me the scald on her shoulder. It was an angry red welt almost as large as my hand, and still hot to the touch from the boiling water that had caused it.<p>

"She said if I didn't stop sassing her she'd pour it on me. I didn't believe her, so I kept prickling at her and then next thing you know my shoulder's covered in boiling water." She laughed mirthlessly. "Hurts like _hell._"

I was twelve years old. I was scared. My friend was hurting, and I didn't know what to do.

I told Lust.

Lust made a phone call.

Martel was gone two days later.

* * *

><p>"Where is she? Where did she GO?"<p>

Greed stuck a pinky in his ear and tried to look around me at his videogame. "Do I look like I know?"

"Lust won't tell me what happened! And she tells you _everything, _because you two have to be the responsible ones." I glared at him, watching his discomfort grow.

"Ergh." Greed slumped back on the sofa, chucking his controller to the side and looking up at me. "Okay, fine, I'll tell you. Martel was in a foster home."

I stared at him in shock. "Oh." _A foster home? She didn't live with her real parents?...That explains Minnie._

"Yeah. And they didn't treat her right." Greed sighed, crossing his arms that were becoming more and more muscular every day. He'd just had his sixteenth birthday, but he looked even older, a trait the older Angevin siblings shared. "I'll be honest, both Lust and I had kinda figured it out."

"Wh-what? And you didn't say anything?"

"Well, imagine if we were wrong. We weren't even sure if she was a foster kid – we're not her friends, you are." A strange look passed over his face. "But when you told us about the burn, well, you don't ignore that." He shrugged. "So Lust called the foster care centre, and Martel went to a different home – hopefully, a better one."

I took a moment to process this information. "So…she's living…somewhere else now?" I said slowly.

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"They didn't _tell_ us that!" He ran his hand over his short, bristly hair in frustration. "For all I know, she's in a different city."

My heart plummeted into my boots. "But…b-but…" My words faded into nothingness. It was so much harder to speak without Martel there. "What about her big sister?" I cried out after a handful of heartbeats.

Greed frowned. "Big sister?"

"She was always talking about her big sister Riza."

"I didn't hear anything about a big sister."

I crossed my arms indignantly. "Martel has two sisters, Riza and Winry, and they're both bigger than here. So where are they?"

"If they're real –" He retracted that after a particularly fierce look from me. "They're probably in different homes. Not a lot of people want to take care of three kids."

As he said this, something Martel had said to me once came back, suddenly making sense and clicking into place. _Riza says she's coming for me, when she can._

* * *

><p>It took just over a month, but on a rainy night at the beginning of May, Martel came back.<p>

"P-p-please help me," she pleaded through chattering teeth, arms wrapped around her thin shoulders as she shivered and shuddered. She was soaked through, thin hair plastered to her scalp and face, and all she was wearing was a black tank-top and a pair of raggedy grey sweatpants. Her feet were bare and bleeding.

I stood there in shock for a moment, before pulling her in and closing the door. "M-Martel…What happened?"

However, she simply crumpled against me, curling her head into the crook of my neck and closing her eyes.

"Envy, what's – Oh my god!" Greed immediately caught her before I collapsed under her weight, picking her up in his strong arms. "She just came to the door like this?"

I nodded. It didn't feel quite real – almost like I was dreaming.

"LUST!" bellowed Greed. "Gimme a hand!"

The sound of footsteps echoed through the hall, and Lust appeared, clad only a red bathrobe and followed closely behind by a nondescript boy.

"John, go back to bed. I need to deal with this." She tied the robe shut and gently moved Martel's hair away from her face. Martel didn't respond, chest rising and falling in slumber. "Poor thing. She must have been absolutely exhausted."

"Sh-she can sleep in my bed…" I began to say, but Lust chuckled and shook her head.

"No, we've got the guest room. Greed, go put her in there while I get in contact with the foster care people. This doesn't look good."

I followed close on Greed's heels as he carried her up the stairs. "Is she gonna be alright?" I asked nervously. "She doesn't look good – what are we gonna do? Can she stay here?"

"Jesus Christ, Envy, shut up. I can only answer one question at a time." Greed took a deep breath. "Sorry. I don't know the answer to any of those questions."

Suddenly, he whispered, "Shit." I looked up the stairs. Dante stood in front of us, purple eyes cold and angry.

"What, Greed Angevin, do you think you are doing, bringing that little sodden mess of a street rat in here? Get her out of here, now."

For a moment I thought Greed would simply buckle under to Mother's demands, as was the norm, but instead he returned her glare, fire for fire. "She's sick, exhausted and probably abused. I don't fucking think so. Now get the hell out of the way."

To my eternal wonder and surprise, she did.

In the guest room, Greed laid her down on the white sheets, a damp spot immediately radiating it. "Fuck, we need to get her out of those clothes."

"What?" I squeaked. "You're…you're kidding, right?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding? She'll catch cold if she hasn't already."

"But…but…I can't…she's a girl!"

"Yeah, and I'm a guy, and you're a little pansy. You see how this works?" Nevertheless, he seemed just as awkward as I was about the concept.

Luckily, Lust reappeared, clicking off the phone. "You are never going to believe this. According to Social Services, she can't be here."

"What? Why?" asked Greed.

"Because," she explained, "to be here, she would have had to have walked from Almont. In bare feet, no less, unless she somehow lost the shoes along the way."

I stared at Lust, and then looked back at Martel and her torn feet. "But…how?"

"I don't know. But that means she's been walking for something like two days."

"You're fucking kidding me." Greed looked just as shocked as I felt.

Lust nodded brusquely. "Whatever she was running from was bad enough for two straight days without food or sleep."

Greed's hands tightened into fists. "Get me the names and I'll find out just how bad they were treating her."

I merely sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. It was cold and clammy from the rainwater, and my heart jumped into my throat for a moment before I found her pulse in her wrist, strong and steady.

"Okay, you two get out for a moment while I get her into something clean and warm. They've said they'll get back to me on the subject of her sisters, but for now she'll be staying with us."

I chuckled a little bit at that, earning a strange look from her. "Oh, just thinking about how Mum and Dad are going to take that."

Lust made a face. "They're going to deal with it. Although…I don't know how we're going to take care of her while we're at school. Greed, got any ideas?"

He shrugged. "I can stay home."

Something about the way he said it sent prickles up my spine. "I'll do it, she's my friend and I know everything at school already." I didn't want her alone with Greed. I didn't know why – Greed had never made me nervous before – but I just _didn't._

"You can both do it different days," said Lust, finding a perfect compromise just like she always did. "Now _scoot._"

We obeyed, waiting outside the door. I noticed that Greed was fidgeting with his fingers, nervous and off-kilter, although I didn't know why.

* * *

><p>I refused to leave her side that first night, and I insisted that I get the day off school the next day as well. Not too surprisingly, I wasn't met with a whole lot of resistance, and I stayed in the guest room, scribbling and sketching away.<p>

It was while I was struggling with a word to rhyme with 'flaxen' that I felt a warm gust of air on the back of my ear. "How about…klaxon?" she said cheerily, and I nearly got whiplash from turning around.

"Martel!" I resisted the urge to throw myself onto her in a bear hug, but she beat me to it, grabbing me in a headlock and pulling me onto the bed.

"I _thought _I'd made it here, but I wasn't sure." She gave me a light noogie, ignoring my subdued cry of protest. "Man, have you been sitting there all that time?...How long was I asleep?"

"Er, about…fourteen hours."

"Holy cow!" She shrugged. "Then again, I haven't slept in a bed in like…"

"Two days, yeah, Lust told me."

She gave me an odd look, then a sad smile. "Actually, about a month."

My jaw fell open, and she reached up, closing it with a tap. "The new people I got didn't think foster kids deserved beds. I got a haystack instead. It wasn't too bad, but it got _awfully _itchy."

"But…but…" I wrapped my arms around her. "I'm so sorry."

"What for? You couldn't have done anything. It's not your fault the foster system is a flaming piece of horse poo."

I shook my head, but didn't quite believe it. If I'd been a better friend…if I'd just _known…_

"Hey, um…" Martel started to say something, but then subsided back into silence.

"Lust says you can stay here, by the way," I supplied, and was rewarded with a starry-eyed smile.

"You're amazing." She dragged me down into the covers and snuggled into my side, something almost like a purr escaping her throat.

I considered mentioning that I'd really had very little to do with it, but decided against it once I realized just how comfortable it was having a girl next to me.

* * *

><p>"Hello?" I called out, but received no answer – from Greed or Martel. With a shrug, I kicked off my shoes. Martel had been staying with us for a few days now, and she and Greed had hit it off surprisingly well considering their age difference.<p>

The sound of low voices reached me, and curious, I padded slowly through the halls. They weren't on this floor, so with my hand only lightly brushing the banister, I climbed up to the next floor.

I still couldn't quite make out the words, but as I turned the corner, I saw them – Greed and Martel, Greed with burning eyes and one of her small hands clasped in his callused ones, Martel with tears at the corners of her eyes. As I watched, one of them escaped, trickling down her cheek and rolling off of her chin to land on her other hand, balled into a fist in her lap.

"Er…hi…" I said nervously, and both of their eyes snapped towards me. Martel hurried to wipe her tears away, while Greed sprang to his feet and walked past me.

"I'm going out," he said brusquely, pulling on his hoodie, but then stopping abruptly. He wiggled his fingers, and then pulled it off again with a growl. "Fucking thing's too small for me." He chucked it at me. "You can have it, skin-and-bones."

"Oh shut up, just because I don't go to the gym every day –" But he was gone, only the vicious slam of the door serving as a goodbye.

I sighed, and then turned to Martel. "You alright? What were you guys talking about?"

"I was showing him my knife. See?" She flipped it in the air, caught it then flicked it open. "Four inches, spring-loaded." Closing it again, she threw it to me, and I caught it only through pure luck.

Closed, it was about the size of my palm, slightly curved and the off-white colour of bone. It was ridged and carved, although there was no recognizable pattern except an 'X' at the bottom.

"I did that part myself," she said proudly. "I nicked the knife from the pocket of the loser who was supposed to be taking care of me, and I carved that out with a kitchen knife. That way I'll know for sure it's mine."

I handed it back. "It's cool. I like it." It was a bit of a lie – knives made me uncomfortable – but it wasn't going to do anybody any harm.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Riza Rockbell had never left Ottawa. She had turned eighteen in February, but was currently entangled in a police investigation into her foster father – a certain Mordred Falcon, an infamous drug dealer. However, now that the long and agonizing trial had come to an end – and found Riza completely innocent of all of Mordred's dealings – she, Winry and Martel could be reunited.<p>

Martel kicked her feet against the wooden slats at the bottom of the plush seats, sending reverberations up and down them. I gave her hand a squeeze. "Relax."

"Sorry, sorry…It's been six years, En. Six years and I haven't…" She swallowed. "I haven't even heard from her."

"Maybe she couldn't contact you."

"Maybe." She didn't sound convinced.

The office we were waiting in was a mess of reds and browns, an attempt at comfortable opulence gone wrong. It was an anomaly in the building – a pool of warm and sticky colours amidst cold and sterile white and blue. I hadn't been surprised when Martel had asked me to stay. Pleased, yes – surprised, no.

Finally, the door opened, and I felt her tense up next to me.

"H-hello? Is this the right place?"

I looked at Martel through the corner of my eye. She nodded brusquely, but said nothing more.

The newcomer chuckled nervously, adjusting the hat that flopped over her face. It was wide-brimmed, white cotton with a silken white ribbon tied around it. Her sun-dress came down to her knees, daffodil-yellow with a carnation-hued floral pattern and tied around her waist with a sash, and her sandals matched her hat too well not to have been at least from the same store. She even had a little leather purse.

After a moment of fidgeting and staring at the floor, the girl took off her hat, letting her long blonde hair swing free. "M-Martel, don't you recognize me?"

"Winry," said Martel finally, her voice flat. "Yeah, I recognize you." She got to her feet, her hand slipping out of my grasp, slippery with sweat. "Where have you been the last six years?" She crossed her arms, and then looked Winry up and down scornfully. "Living it up in Toronto?"

Winry brought her hands up to her chest, holding the over-large hat like a shield. "I-I…I was living with a nice lady called Auntie Pinako…"

Martel grabbed the hat and with a sour, sneering look, she tore it in two, ignoring Winry's whimper as she threw it to the side. "A _nice lady? _Well, isn't that fan-fucking-tastic." It was the first time I'd ever heard Martel swear. "You got to live with the _nice lady,_" she repeated, mocking Winry's voice.

"M-Martel, why are you being so mean?" cried Winry plaintively, and I could see Martel freeze. Without another word, she walked out of the door, letting it slam shut behind her.

I watched Winry for a moment as she struggled not to cry, picking up the pieces of her hat and trying to fit them back together. It was strangely, pathetically endearing, but after a moment, I felt I had to say something.

"I, er…" Darn it. I didn't like talking to strangers, and I didn't even have anything to say… But she looked up at me and smiled, though her face was blotchy and red, and stuck out her hand.

"M-my name's Winry Rockbell. N-nice to meet you."

"Envy Angevin."

"Angevin, like –"

I nodded, ignoring the sudden star-struck look on her face, and then tried to find my voice, staring at my feet. "Sorry about that…she's…had a tough time of it."

She nodded sadly, and then sat down next to me. "Are you her boyfriend?"

My heart skipped a beat, and I forgot to breathe. "Wh-_what? _No, no, n-not at all!"

Winry laughed. "Right, you're…twelve?"

"Thirteen in two weeks."

After that, we fell into an awkward silence, but at least she wasn't crying any more. I wasn't very good with crying people.

It was fifteen minutes before Martel returned, this time beaming. After her came a woman who could have been her double, with short blonde hair and soft brown eyes outlined with purple shadows that denoted a lack of sleep.

"Sorry about that, Winry," she said airily, "but look!"

Riza grinned, and held out an arm. With a shriek of joy, Winry barrelled into her older sister, and like magic, the three of them were a family, laughing and crying a little and hugging, the tense confrontation between Martel and Winry seemingly forgotten.

I remained seated, waiting for an opportune moment to leave. I wasn't needed – and with a sinking heart, I wondered if I had a place in Martel's life anymore.

"Riza, Winry, this is Envy." Martel strode over and took my hand with an air of possessiveness. "He's my best friend in the whole wide world ever, and you'd better get used to him because he's going to be around a lot."

I turned red and then stood, grinning despite myself. "Nice to meet you, Riza, ma'am."

Riza shook her head with a laugh. "Don't call me that, it makes me feel old. Hey, you're Envy Angevin, right? From –" She stopped as I pulled a face, and Martel gave me a punch on the shoulder.

"Don't bring that up, he hates it when people recognize him."

I gave her a punch back, and it turned into a sissy-fight while the two older girls guffawed. After a moment, Riza said, "Sorry to interrupt, but I think it's time we – all three of us – went home."

I could see the emotions warring in Martel's eyes at the word 'home', but she nodded and followed Riza and Winry out of the door. For a moment, I wondered if she'd forgotten me, but she came rushing back in not a second later, grasping my hands.

"Don't you _dare_ not visit me, skin-and-bones." She used the same nickname that Greed had bestowed on me, but I didn't mind it so much in her lilting, drawling voice. "You're still my favourite person." Leaning in, she kissed my nose with a feathery touch of her lips, and then left again. "See ya, En!"

I rubbed my nose thoughtfully, Winry's words coming back to me. "You missed," I said to the empty room, face suddenly very, very warm.

* * *

><p>"Envy! Cool! Let's go chill somewhere awesome!" Martel started to walk past me, but I stopped her with my hands on her shoulders.<p>

"One moment, I'm doing this properly."

She raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms and smirking slightly. "Doing _what _properly?"

Here came the hard part.

Standing at door: check.

Lady listening: check.

Money: check.

Location chosen: check.

Courage?

"Er…ah…would you…er…maybe…if you…I…perhaps…"

Not check. As a matter of fact, quite decidedly X. A big, honking, fat, X.

Martel frowned, confusion etched into her face. Behind her in the apartment, I could see Riza shaking with controlled laughter. Winry was not quite so restrained – after a moment, she collapsed onto the couch, howling.

"Sh-SHUT UP!" I yelled over Martel's shoulder. "You're not helping!"

Martel turned to look at her sisters, then back at me. "Wait, hold on, what? What are you trying to do?"

"Would you like to go out with me?"

Her jaw dropped open. "_What? _You're seriously – _What?_" She stepped out of the apartment, closing the door behind her – then grabbed my collar and proceeded to march down the hallway, dragging me behind.

"Wait, I didn't mean to make you mad –"

"Of all the ridiculous, cheesy, contrived, artificial, RIDICULOUS things to do…" She growled incomprehensibly, punching the elevator button.

"You said ridiculous twice…" I said weakly. I still wasn't quite sure what I'd done, but I was fairly sure I was being rejected. Belatedly, I wondered if I shouldn't have asked Greed or Lust for some advice on this whole dating thing.

"In," she demanded, practically throwing me into the elevator. I managed to catch myself before I plowed into the wall, and turned back to face her.

I didn't have time to formulate a sentence before she was kissing me, hands buried in my shirt and body flush against mine. At first, I didn't know what to do, but after a moment, my arms closed around her, and suddenly, I realized that my lips went _here_ and my tongue went _here_…it was heaven.

"A-_hem_." We sprung apart, and I wiped my mouth as an elderly gentleman tapped his foot impatiently. "The elevator is not a private room."

"Sorry," said Martel, before we ran out of the doors and into the street. I was still breathing hard, and I looked up at her, lips still tingling.

"Um…are we…can we…do some more of that?"

She giggled. "Mayyybe. But first I thought you were taking me on a date."

* * *

><p>Greed said we wouldn't last the summer. But August turned to September, and Martel was still that wondrous creature known as my girlfriend.<p>

Lust shook her head and asked what we thought we were doing, when we wouldn't last past Christmas. But the mistletoe saw lots of action, and Martel was even more beautiful (albeit more dangerous) when she was pelting me with snowballs.

I didn't need other people. She didn't need other friends. We came as a package, my little blonde rapscallion and I, and I couldn't be happier. To be honest, nothing had really changed – just some of the time we usually spent talking or chasing each other around was now spent exploring each other's bodies in ways we'd only heard about through movies or through the thin walls of my house.

Then, just as suddenly as Martel had appeared into my life, she grew distant.

"What's wrong?" I asked, squeezing her hand, but she shook her head.

"It's…nothing." But when I tried to kiss her, she turned away. "I'm just…not feeling well. I think I'm going to go home."

With a parting squeeze, she turned away, and I watched her go, heart sinking.

I returned home, frowning. Martel always wore her heart on her sleeve – when she was happy, she was ecstatic – when she was sad, she was heartbroken, or at least tried to cover up with even more bouncing and laughter. But this distance was unlike her, so diametrically opposite from her usual self that I wondered if she'd been kidnapped by pod people.

I opened the door – only to hear loud sobbing echoing through the house. "What…what's going on?"

Sloth rushed up to me, eyes wide. "Envy, please help, something's wrong!"

"What?"

"Something's wrong with Lust!"

I didn't even bother taking off my shoes, rushing through the halls after my little sister.

Lust was collapsed half onto the ground, sobbing frantically and trying to say something, though it was obscured by her tears. Greed held her, stroking her hair, expression grim and stony.

"Shouldn't have – I shouldn't – never – trusted – him!" She wrenched out each word. There was a piece of paper in her hand, gripped so tightly that it was starting to tear.

"What happened?" I asked, but Greed shook his head. I carefully walked over, falling to my knees in front of her "Lust, what's wrong?"

She brought her hands to her face, trying to wipe her tears, but only began to cry even louder. With a dawning feeling of horror, I gently took her hand in both of mine, carefully peeling open her fingers. She didn't resist, and I lifted the crumpled piece of paper out of her palm, opening it carefully.

_Positive._

* * *

><p>Everything changed after the diagnosis. The house went quiet. There was no more Doris Day or Marilyn Monroe or Judy Garland belting through the house, no more Elvis duets between Greed and Lust or impromptu tap-dances to soft jazz in the living room. Lust barely left her room. Greed barely came home, and when he did, he immediately went to bed, disoriented and dizzy. That was when he started drinking heavily.<p>

Mum and Dad suddenly got very strict in a way they hadn't before. Suddenly I had a curfew, and I had to call them constantly and tell them exactly where I was. Perhaps they believed if they'd stopped Lust's habits, she wouldn't have gotten sick. Perhaps now their golden girl was dying, it was suddenly important that we keep up our image. Perhaps they just remembered that they loved us.

The biggest change of all was that Martel wasn't allowed over anymore. I could still see her at school, and go over to her apartment, but just like Lust had warned, our time was cut in half.

Which meant it became a lot harder to find out just what was wrong.

One morning, Greed stumbled home with his shoulder bleeding. It was before dawn, and I shouldn't have been awake. He didn't even notice me as he walked past, and I shrank into the armchair, not wanting to attract his attention. I didn't like him when he was drunk – he seemed taller, bigger, meaner.

A door slammed behind him, but rebounded, and I could hear snippets of conversation drift through.

"What have you done now?" It was unmistakably Father's voice, with a note of fury I'd never heard before.

I didn't hear Greed's mumbling reply, but the slap that followed was sharp and loud.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Something broke.

"Greed, we're going to have to fix this." Now it was Mother speaking, voice as icy and dry as ever. "Now _give me that._"

"Fuck no. And you stay away from her. You hear me? You don't fucking touch her, I've told you before –"

The voices stopped abruptly as the door closed, someone evidently having noticed that it was slightly open. If I concentrated, I could still hear Greed raging, but indistinctly.

It wasn't until the sun was well over the horizon that I saw him again, eyes bloodshot and red. "Are you alright?" I asked nervously.

He turned his gaze on me. "The fuck you think, skin-and-bones?"

"Maybe I can help –" I reached up and placed my hand on his shoulder. He tensed up at my touch and span on his heel, backhanding me across the face and sending me flying across the room.

My back cracked ominously on the table he'd thrown me into. The room started spinning, and my cheek stung and burned where he'd hit me.

"Envy? Envy!" His voice seemed very far away. I tried to sit up, but couldn't quite do it. The room wouldn't stay still.

Greed's face appeared through the haze. "Envy, god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Are you alright?"

"…head hurts…" I replied, my tongue thick and unwieldy in my mouth. There was a sudden tang of blood – I'd bitten myself.

"Here. Up you get." He tucked his arms underneath me, lifting me up and lying on the couch. "Jesus I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't mean to hit you, I didn't – I was just so angry, so damn angry, but I didn't…"

I sat up slowly. "G…get away from me," I said, voice dragging. I wiped my hand across my face, and brought it away bloody. My nose was bleeding. "Jesus Christ, Greed, you didn't pull that punch at all, did you?"

"I'm sorry, I –"

I got to my feet, wavering slightly. He tried to help me, but I pushed him away. "What the _fuck _is wrong with you?"

I ignored him, storming out of the door and wiping the rest of the blood away. God, my head hurt. My _heart _hurt. My brother, my sainted, wonderful big brother, he had _hit _me.

I sneered as I walked down the street. I wondered what Martel would think when I walked into school – well, I'd tell her the truth. I didn't – didn't _fucking _care.

"Son of a _bitch._" I'd never sworn so much in my life.

I got to the tree where we'd meet before school, words already on my lips. "Martel, I –" But she wasn't there, the dusty area empty and dry.

My heart sank. I knew she'd been distant, but…

Then, I forgot to breathe.

A black Convers shoe was poking out from the bushes. A black Convers shoe with a skull-and-crossbones scratched onto the toe.

I knew that shoe.

"Martel…" I breathed, running over and touching the ankle nervously. I pushed away the branches of the bushes to get a better look.

_There was so much blood._

I couldn't think of anything else. _So much blood…_

It wasn't Martel in front of me, drenched in a crimson flood. It wasn't Martel in front of me, lying on the cold ground, cheeks white, hands cold – no, Martel was warm and ruddy-faced and bright-eyed.

It wasn't Martel.

_It wasn't Martel._

_ So much blood._

There were rough hands on my shoulders, trying to pull me away, but I didn't move.

"I've called the police. You've got to let her go."

_Never._

_ Oh my god._

_ That's not Martel that's not Martel, it can't be. So much blood._

_ I'm not letting go._

Another scream cut through the noise of the people who had started to mill around. Winry.

Why would Winry be screaming.

The girl's face snapped into focus.

_Martel._

I opened my mouth and screamed.

I don't remember much of the next…month or so. Maybe two months. Maybe three.

Apparently I graduated middle school.

Apparently I went to her funeral.

Apparently I _spoke_ at her funeral.

I don't remember any of it. I don't remember a damn thing.

I don't remember when Lust stopped letting herself being depressed, and decided to support us instead of the other way around.

I don't remember when Greed stopped apologizing every time he hit me.

I don't remember exactly when Greed started taking out his frustrations on Wrath.

All I remember is waking up one morning to a life I didn't know – didn't understand – didn't _want._

A life without Martel.

**Now I dare you to go back and reread Chapter 3. If you didn't cry, you're a heartless beast.**


	18. We Need To Talk About Julia

**So I'm raising the rating to M – not for this chapter, but for the next. Up to this point I've avoided any overt sexual situations, mainly in an attempt to keep the rating down. However, I've now given up :P **

**YukinoKara: Long chapters are luverly, I feel so awesome and accomplished when I post them. I promise you'll find out. I won't say anything more than that :P I like the hat scene too, I always wanted to do that to that goddamn hat Winry wore in like…two episodes or something? I dunno. I always hated it. And you don't like Greed, that's good, that's very good. If you started liking him then this story would turn into the worst kind of fanfiction. I figured Envy would notice a change – they grew up together, after all. It's weird things you notice in your siblings, and weird things you miss.**

**Everybody else…please review I know you're there, I'm seeing the traffic. Even a short one would be fabulous. But I'm really feeling alone in posting this if I don't hear from you guys – especially the ones who used to be so good at reviewing. It really means a lot to me to hear from my readers.**

**Part 3: Genkaku (Illusion)**

**Chapter 18**

**We Need To Talk About Julia**

Once he'd finished talking, Envy closed his eyes, cheek resting against his knees. He wasn't crying, surprisingly enough – it had been long enough that the sadness resting inside of him no longer needed a physical outlet.

"Jesus," whispered Ed. Envy wondered what the expression on his face was – pity? Revulsion? Impatience? He decided to play Schrodinger's Cat with it. Ed wouldn't wear any of those faces until he opened his eyes and saw which one it was.

"Envy." Ed's voice was gentle as always, but with that full-metal core laced through it. He spoke his name almost like a command. There was no questioning lilt, no frantic uplift, just a simple statement. _Envy._

God, he wished he could draw voices.

A finger brushed against his eyelashes, a reminder of how frustratingly long they were. "Envy, don't. I know, it's tough letting me in."

_How do YOU know? _The bitter inner voice that had grown and grown since Martel's death lashed out, but Envy kept his lips resolutely shut. _How do you fucking know? You're perfect. You're goddamn perfect, you stupid beautiful angel, with your wonderful little homey brother and your shiny little life. What could you possibly want with damaged goods like me? Look how I've already fucked things up for you._

"Envy!" The sharpness grew stronger, the metal more exposed, and Envy's eyes snapped open, purple meeting gold. The light was shining behind Edward's head, reflecting off his hair like a halo and painting him in broad strokes like Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel seraphim. But his face was dark, and Envy suddenly wondered what his angel was hiding.

Ed took Envy's hand in his own and used it to push up his sleeve, all the way past his shoulder where it bunched up under his chin. The scars Envy had seen before had a dull gleam in the light, red and keloided and angry. Ed placed the younger boy's hand gently on them, though Envy couldn't help but cringe at how they felt.

"Go ahead and touch them, En. I understand. I'm not just some smarmy kid who's decided I understand you in and out – because I don't. But I understand loss. I understand pain." Ed's eyes went dark. "My mother died nearly four years ago now. My father was away at the time, I had a mental breakdown, and I ended up in an institution for just over a year."

Envy pulled his fingers along one of the scars, feeling the ridges catch on the pads and skin of his hands. They were so long, like gashes in his arm. "Do you…still do it?"

"Do you still miss her?"

Envy glanced away, then back at Ed. He nodded slowly. "Every day."

"I've stopped now. But it's tempting. Because I miss her, too."

Envy was seized with a sudden desire to take Ed's sad, shadowed face in his hands and kiss those lips which now spoke such truthful and painful words. His eyes widened, and he shook his head in a sudden spasm, trying to rid himself of the sudden urge.

"Envy, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing…just…" Envy smiled crookedly. "I saw them before, but I guess it didn't really register. I just had this idea that you were perfect."

"Tch. Sorry to disappoint you." Ed tried to stand, but Envy tightened his grasp on Ed's arm, stroking another of the scars gently with this thumb.

"Not like that, dumbass. I mean – you know – I –" For the first time in a long, long time, Envy lost his words, and he bit his lip, trying to get his tongue and lips to articulate what he wanted to say.

Ed cocked his head, and to his horror, Envy burst out laughing. He covered his mouth, watching the Elric boy in mortification. Ed was swinging between being confused and irritated.

"Okay, spill. What are _you _laughing at all of a sudden?"

"When you bend your head like that," Envy demonstrated, and started laughing again when Ed mirrored his movement, "you look like a cocker spaniel, or a sad puppy."

Ed blinked. He blinked again. "Are you _serious?_"

"Yep. It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

The outraged expression on Ed's face was enough to set Envy off again, and Ed soon joined him. The two of them laughed until their stomachs hurt and they were out of breath to continue.

Between pants, Ed managed to sit up. "That…felt good."

"Yeah. It did."

"Laughing…laughing is fucking _awesome,_" declared the blond, flopping back onto the floor. Envy was seized with the desire to kiss him again, but pushed it back into the recesses of his mind. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

He summoned up an image of Martel's face, holding it there until his heart prickled and stung. He liked girls. He was attracted to girls.

_I like girls._

He watched Ed's chest rise and fall as the boy caught his breath, staring at the ceiling. _Apollo. Angel. Scarred Adonis, sad Adonis –_

_ I like girls._

And somewhere, a tiny voice he almost couldn't hear, and could almost completely ignore, it added in a mischievous, mocking undertone –

_ And Ed._

* * *

><p>Zolf Kimbley had earned his position at the top of the school food pyramid the way any politician worth his salt earned his; through terror, guile and blackmail. He had dirt on almost everyone in the school, from the burliest senior rugby player to the smallest freshman wallflower. About half of the faculty were similarly under his control, although quite a few of them didn't yet know it.<p>

However, there were always exceptions. Edward Elric and his band of misfits, for example, had put a wrench in his plans once they'd figured out his methods by coming out to the entire school. They were their own little group, seldom interacting with others aside from the Yao boy's many conquests, but their flamboyance made it harder for Kimbley to hold sexuality over others' heads.

For example, Envy Angevin.

_That _one still stung.

And now there was another person who he didn't have anything on. Julia Vasquez, the mysterious transfer student, the Spanish girl with the smoky, husky voice who stood a good two inches over almost every girl in the school. She was always with that damn group, but if he played his cards right…

"Hey." He leant on the locker next to hers, ignoring the sophomore trying to get into it. "You're the new transfer student, right? I'm Zolf, Zolf Kimbley."

She continued fiddling with her lock for a moment, then looked up, a strand of green hair falling in front of her face. "Zolf, hm? That's a…German name, yeah?" She smiled. "I like German. Very different from Spanish, but it's a nice language."

"I'm afraid I don't know a word of either."

"Oh? That's a pity. My name's Julia, by the way."

"So do you need somebody to show you around?"

She tapped her chin, considering. "Well, Ed's been very good about showing me where everything is, but –" She froze, staring into space for a moment with a dawning look in her eyes. Kimbley was about to tap her on the shoulder when she suddenly looked back at him with a smouldering smirk. "I'm _sure _there's some other places you could show me."

Under his white jacket, Kimbley's heart did a little backflip. There was just something about the accent, he decided.

"Oh, I know a few places."

And besides. What better to have on someone than the fact that she'd made out with a complete stranger five minutes after their first meeting?

* * *

><p>Envy nipped lightly at Kimbley's bottom lip, looking up from underneath his black lids to see the older student's reaction. He wasn't quite sure how he'd gotten himself into this situation – 'situation' in this case meaning a janitor's closet with his legs wrapped around another man's midsection and necking with the person who'd made his life even more of a living hell than it already had been.<p>

_Well, it's not like Kimbley was wrong._

_ Shut up, me. You're not gay. You're just…getting revenge._

_ You're getting revenge. On your bully. By making out with him. In drag. That's pretty fucking gay._

_ It's not gay in context!_

_ Stop talking to yourself._

One of Kimbley's hands travelled up from Julia's waist to cup her breast, and Envy remembered to moan slightly into the kiss. _Man, I never thought I'd have to fake a reaction to being groped. Talk about expanding my horizons._

Suddenly, he realized that the senior's hand was wandering downwards again – towards his –

He let out a yelp, pushing Kimbley away and falling to the ground with a 'thump'. "What are you doing?" he squeaked, accent completely disappearing as he pressed his legs firmly together. Luckily, Kimbley didn't seem to notice the change in his voice.

"Hey, we were having fun."

Envy cleared his throat. Back to Julia. "Yes, well, I have limits."

Kimbley crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows and looking down at Envy with a half-disbelieving expression. Envy suppressed a shiver – a look like that usually precluded a punch or kick.

However, the eighteen-year-old simply squatted down to look him squarely in the eyes, then dug in his pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. "Fair's fair. Here's my number. You should call me sometime – you're cute." He opened the door and slipped out, leaving Envy holding the paper and staring at the numbers written on it incredulously.

He banged his head against the wall. "This was not one of my better decisions," he muttered angrily. Still, he tucked the scrap into his pocket.

Now to get rid of his stupid boner.

* * *

><p>"…and of course, beautiful girls like you shouldn't be <em>alone <em>on beautiful days like this!"

Winry snorted, wielding her wrench like a weapon. "Another word from you, Ling Yao, and I'll show you what I can do with this."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Ooh, now I'm curious!" He immediately regretted it as she belaboured him with the tool.

Russell gave a deep sigh, holding the leashes of both dogs as he watched the two flirt and fight alternately. "Idiots." He turned to look at Julia, seated on the side of the road with her face turned to the bright sun. "Hey, you're quiet. What's the matter?"

She started, and then forced a smile. "Oh, nothing. Don't worry 'bout me."

He sat down next to her, tying the leashes around his arm. "Well, do you like it here?"

"Oh – oh yeah! It's super cool, I think it's fan-_tas_-tic. And people don't call me an illegal immigrant constantly…_Madre de Dios…_"

Russell chuckled. "Yeah, that must suck. But something's bothering you, isn't it?" His face darkened. "Is it Kimbley?"

"_Q-Que_?"

"That bastard makes a point of intimidating everybody. He tried it on me – it worked, too, until Ed and Ling stepped in. Don't let him scare you."

Julia laughed. "No, no, that's not it at all! He didn't _scare _me, he…" Envy decided if he was going to tell anybody, it would be someone who thought he was a girl. However, before he could say it, a shadow fell over both of them.

"Hello…Russell, is it?"

Russell and Envy looked up.

A man was standing over them – a man in a three-piece suit and a longcoat, although somehow he seemed perfectly comfortable even in the heat, and glasses perched on the end of his long nose. Envy couldn't quite tell with the sun in his eyes, but he thought his hair might have been gold.

Whoever he was, Russell recognized him. "S-sir! It's, uh, been a while," stuttered the English boy awkwardly.

"That it has. Could you point me in the direction of Edward, please?"

Russell looked around. "He's…over there, with Ling and Winry." Edward was, in fact, currently the one being trounced with a wrench, although his laughter mixed with the insults and curses assured all listeners that it really wasn't all that serious.

"Ah. With the cute blond and the crazy Asian." The man sighed. "Some things never changed." He stepped over them and towards the three, who still hadn't noticed them.

"I'm…not really sure how to take that," muttered Russell, shifting awkwardly.

Envy frowned, watching the scene unfold.

Edward dodged one of Winry's blows with a laugh, swivelling on the spot – and froze.

The man raised a hand. "Yo."

The street went silent.

A car went by, the backdraft of wind rustling both Ed's hair and that of his father.

"You _son of a bitch," _he growled.

The man dropped his briefcase on the ground. "Now, Edward, don't be like that. Your grandmother was the sweetest woman ever to –"

"You drop off the face of this earth for six fucking months, then you just show up like _that,_" he snapped his fingers, "without even a fucking phone call. And you don't even have the nerve to act apologetic!"

Hohenheim shrugged. "Well, I did say I'd be away for some time."

Edward punched Hohenheim in the jaw, sending the taller man staggering back. He rubbed the side of his bearded face, wiggling his jaw. "I did _not _deserve that."

"Like hell you didn't, you bastard! _Why didn't you at least tell me you were coming home? _For all I knew you'd finally bunked and done a runner!" Ed shook his head and buried one hand in his hair, grabbing a clump and tugging at it. "Just…go, alright?"

Hohenheim picked up his briefcase. "Now you're being ridiculous. Let's go home."

Ed opened his mouth to protest, and then cast a long look at Envy.

Envy frowned in confusion. Ed flicked his eyes at Ling almost imperceptibly, and then gave a very slight nod. Then, digging his hands into his pockets and raising his shoulders almost to his ears in a typically defiant pose, he followed Hohenheim, walking deliberately slowly at a plodding pace.

Russell rubbed his neck awkwardly. "That guy gives me the creeps."

"That's his dad?"

"That's the man who impregnated his mother, yes," corrected Russell drily.

"Man, you always use such big words!" Ling sauntered up to them, grin wide. "What's wrong with saying knocked up?"

Russell merely sniffed, giving Ling an icy glare. Ling's shoulders slumped slightly in acknowledgment, then clapped Envy on the shoulder. "Julia-chan, we'd better go pick up your sister."

"Sorry, why?"

"The sleepover, remember? You two were gonna come meet my family!"

Envy stared disbelievingly at him. Ling opened one eye slightly and gave him a warning look. "Ling, darling, if your family's anything like you –"

"Don't worry! They're worse! Anyway, we'd better get going." He gave Winry a little mock salute. She waved back with a slight blush, then dropped her hand and looked away when she noticed the antagonism rolling off of Russell in waves.

Ling began to open his arms to Russell for a hug, but then aborted it when he noticed just how straight the boy's posture was. "'M'sorry," he muttered, and then returned to his cheerful demeanour. "See ya tomorrow, limey!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, slant-eyes."

Ling stuck out his tongue, and then pranced down the sidewalk towards Xing Public School with an extra dash of flamboyance. Envy gave Russell a quick and awkward one-armed hug, waiting only a heartbeat before releasing him.

"So," Envy said breathlessly (catching up to the surprisingly-fast-moving Ling had been harder than he'd thought, especially in high heels), "what's this about?" He dropped the Julia voice completely – it was starting to hurt his throat, and he was under no illusions that Ling was fooled.

Ling grimaced. "Well, Ed and his oh-so-wonderful sperm donor of a daddy weren't in contact. Sooo…yeah."

Envy rolled his eyes. "You've explained exactly nothing."

"I've explained everything, _dobe, _think about it."

So he did.

"Oh _crap, _he has no idea there are two other people living with them."

"Took you long enough," snorted Ling with a good-natured poke at Envy's chest. Envy slapped his hand away.

"Just because they're fake doesn't mean I want your grubby hands all over them."

With a chuckle, the dark-haired boy skipped a few paces away, leaping up onto the base of a lamppost and spinning around it before he squatted down at the bottom. "Nah, you'd rather my hands up your skirt, wouldn'tcha – _Juuulia?_"

Envy had absolutely no response to this, except for the faint sound of a circuit frying in his brain. His face suddenly felt very, very, very hot. How was his makeup not just…_melting _off? And that wasn't the only part of his body that was getting hot.

Thank God for frilly skirts. (They hid more than one might expect.)

After an eternity, he managed to stutter something out. "N-no, I don't…"

L. A. M. E. _Laaaame._

Ling merely shrugged. "Okey dokey. Just checking." He sprang on ahead, whistling something. It sounded suspiciously like 'Sexy Back'.

Envy glared ahead, fists clenched at his sides and arms ramrod straight and shaking in irritation. That smug, self-satisfied son of a motherfucking bitch. He'd done that on _purpose._

"What's the matter, Julia-chan? Enjoying the view?"

_DAMN IT!_

Envy considered picking up a stone and chucking it at Ling, but decided it against, merely running to catch up with him (again).

"You're terrible," he hissed through gritted teeth.

"Aww, am I getting you flustered?" Ling patted Envy's head, and then dropped his hand to the back of his head, playing with the strands of hair that had escaped from his high ponytail. "You're all warm back here." Ling raised the back of his other hand to Envy's cheek, brushing it gently across his face. "Here, too."

"It's…It's…"

_He is getting. Very. Close. To. Me._

"It's hot, okay?" He pulled away, adjusting his clothes nervously and clearing his throat. They were nearly at the school anyway. He should get back into character.

Envy pretended not to hear Ling's low, throaty chuckle.

_I'm not gay, _he thought savagely to himself, _but if I am, I have TERRIBLE taste in men._

They rounded the last corner, and Envy sighed in relief as the large tree that marked the main doorway of Xing Public School came into view. "There we are," he said, injecting the breathiness and airiness of Julia Vasquez into his voice, raising it a few tones. His voice was getting deeper every day – 'Julia' was starting to hurt, scratching at his throat.

He narrowed his eyes, stretching his neck to look through the fence – then raised his arm, waving. "Hey! Hey Sharon! _Cabroncita!_"

"The fuck does that mean?" Ling asked.

"Oh, you're _really_ one to talk." Envy skipped up to the fence, lacing his fingers into the fence.

There were plenty of kids milling around in the concrete yard – school had only just let out for Xing, a half hour later than Central. However, as Envy took in the entire scene, he realized that the middle-schoolers weren't _milling. _They were, in fact, quite deliberately gathered in a circle.

And from the centre of the students that were crowding more and more tightly, Envy heard an angry, familiar voice. "Get the hell off my case!"

"Who do you think you are, anyway?"

"A fucking grade-eight student, just like you! I'm not a fucking leper! Stop treating me like one, you stupid cow!"

He knew that foul mouth anywhere.

Running down the fence, he found the entrance and sprinted through, forcing his way through the middle-schoolers (they were so small, he could practically shove them aside) and into the centre.

"Wr – What's going on, Sharon?" The near-slip made his stomach flip – and then it turned again when he saw who Wrath was yelling at.

Elysia scowled at him. "Oh, it's _you." _The disdain in her voice hurt like Envy never believed it could.

Envy rolled his eyes. "No, it's the Easter Bunny wearing my skin. What d'you think, princess?"

Elysia planted a hand on her hip, flipping her caramel hair with a huff. "You don't even _go _to Xing."

"No? Really? I hadn't realized. I'm here to pick up my sister, dumbass." He really needed to look up some more Spanish insults. "I'm not gonna ask again. What the _fuck _are you two screamin' up the town about?"

Wrath crossed his arms under his chest, scowling darkly. "Nothin'. She's being stupid is all."

Envy raised an eyebrow. It was time to call on his two years of Spanish class. "_Cuéntame la verdad, Sharon_."

The flaw in Envy's plan suddenly became very plain as confusion flickered in Wrath's eyes. The younger boy was far from the natural actor that Envy was. But he managed – he turned the confused look into a sneer and a roll of the eyes worthy of any middle-school girl.

"Um, Julia?" said Elysia in a sharp mocking tone. "We're, like, not in Mexico anymore. We speak _English_ here."

Even if it was an act on Envy's part, it stung. It stung because it came from _Elysia – _Elysia, the sweet one, the nice one, the little girl who, Envy suddenly realized, had grown up when he wasn't looking.

"Oh really," he said languidly, taking a few paces towards Elysia and bringing his full height to bear against her. "Then explain why your anthem is in two languages…_señorita?_"

Elysia blanched, mouth opening and closing like a guppy fish. But that wasn't all Envy had to say.

"And I'm from Arizona, sweetheart, not Mexico – or even New Mexico. If ya can't keep your states straight, maybe you should spend more time payin' attention and less time picking on the new kid."

"I – I – I…" Elysia glanced around. The tide had changed – the rowdiness had settled down to wary glances and whispers.

Envy made as if to turn – then swivelled back. "And one last thing, _chiquita, _if ya wanna know who we think we are?" He grinned, feeling his preternaturally sharp canines poke his bottom lip, then leant in slightly, saying in a low voice that was still loud enough for those close enough to hear. "We're dangerous."

With that, he straightened and stalked up, snapping his fingers as a summons for Wrath to follow. He did so, buried his hands in his sweater pockets and glared down at the ground, thick bangs covering his eyes.

"Was that really necessary…Julia?" he hissed. Wrath didn't need to disguise his voice other than a slight Spanish accent on a few words – puberty hadn't really hit in full stride yet, and his voice hadn't cracked completely, leaving him with a fairly deep but passably feminine tone.

"I dunno," answered Envy truthfully, still grinning wickedly. "But _hell _was it fun. Nobody picks on ya and gets away with it, sis."

Wrath harrumphed at that. "You really think I give a damn about a stupid middle school girl giving me hell about my clothes not fitting and having a Spanish accent?"

"Yup."

"You're nuts."

They reached the fence and rounded the corner – then Envy realized they weren't alone. He turned and glared down the girl who was following them. "The hell are you, _bajo?_" Short. Heh. He'd learned that one for Ed. As far as he knew, Ed hadn't translated it yet.

She squeaked, squeezing the straps of her backpack instinctively. "Don't hurt me!"

Envy froze, shocked. Julia fell away, only the thinnest part of the façade remaining as part of his disguise.

This was becoming a dangerous game.

"Pff. I won't hurt you. But why are you following us?"

She raised a shaking hand past them. "I'm meeting my brother."

Envy followed the path of the small girl's finger – and nearly screamed with frustration. She was pointing at Ling.

"Oh. Hello then. What's your name?"

She stared up at Envy with wide-eyes.

"Well? I'm Julia. And you are…?"

Still no answer.

Wrath coughed. "Mei, Julia is a good friend of your brother's."

"Oh! I'm Mei-Chan. Hi." She wiggled her fingers in an awkward approximation of a wave, and then ducked between Julia and Sharon to run to her brother – and away from them.

Wrath raised his hand, moved aside his bangs and glared at Envy.

"I'm sorry, okay?" he retorted, looking away. Truthfully, he wasn't quite sure what had possessed him to intimidate Elysia so much. He didn't like the side of her he'd seen – not in the least. He'd wanted to teach her a lesson.

But – how the hell could he be scary?

"Okay," he said after a moment, striding up to Mei and Ling, "so now are you gonna explain why I'm coming with you instead of curlin' up at home?"

"I already –"

"You started," interrupted Envy drily, "but then you got derailed into perversion. Fairly common, that."

Ling chuckled. "Right, yeah. Uh, so Ed's dad's home, which means you gu – girls need to stay with me for a bit."

Envy snorted. "It's like you've never fucking heard of feminism. Stop correcting yourself."

The Japanese boy ignored him. "It shouldn't be long though. Thing about that bastard is he never sticks around for long – that's why Ed hates him so much." There was a brief flash of anger across Ling's face, making clear what was left unsaid – _why I hate him too _– and Envy got a second-long glimpse of the connection between Ling and Ed, the friendship that had kept them together for so many years. It was a different connection than Envy and Ed had – rougher, tougher, grittier, braided of tough rope and arguments and fist-fights and sand, not woven out of spider-silk and shared secrets. And Envy didn't understand it at all.

His fingers itched for a pen.

"Come on, then." Envy said suddenly, trying and failing to stop the shy smile of creation from blooming on his face. "I want to meet the rest of your crazy family."

He ignored Mei's protests, Ling's laughter and Wrath's alternating grumbles and giggles. He ignored them when they began talking. It all blended into a kind of music in the back of his distracted mind as he stared ahead, not really seeing what he was looking at.

Envy, all of a sudden, was thinking about red string.


	19. A River in Egypt

**Betaed now :D (Now edited for line breaks.)**

**I know it probably isn't important to most people, but my next-door neighbour passed away a few days ago. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a while back and it finally caught up to her. She was a wonderful, wonderful woman – and even though she had a terrible time with the cancer, she never stopped being positive and energetic, never stopped showering her kids with love and always made sure that they would have good memories of her. Whether I realized it or not, she was a huge influence in how I've been writing Lust. So this is for you, Orit.**

**This chapter incorporates characters from Avatar, D. Gray Man, Inuyasha, Bleach and Naruto. **

**what-is-the-colour-of-love: Well, in this case it's part of her name/a middle name instead of a last name (Mei Chan Yao). And I think it depends on translation – I've seen Elicia/Elysia/Elisia, Gracia/Glacia/Glacier, Rizenbul/Resembul/Resembool, Ishbal/Ishval/Ishvar, Kimbley/Kimblee…etc. It's because Arakawa used English and Chinese names but transcribed them into Japanese, so there's a bunch of different anglicizations of each name. (Misspellings of Winry, though, are just wrong.) Thank you for reviewing **

**YukinoKara: Nothing's going to get explicit enough to be removed (I hope!) I thought it was kind of obvious Ed was a cutter, but I guess not :P Hooray for subtlety I guess? And yeeah not the smartest move on Envy's part…I know I've kind of destroyed Kimbley's character in some ways but it's hard to put a guy like that in high school! Thankee lovely ^^**

**Vellev: Ohmygoodness thank you :D I'm glad to hear it's awesome XD I really tried to do something different – there's a lot of layers to Envy, and while he seems OOC, I really just tried to take a few of the layers off. I hope you stick around to the end, I've got it all planned out and I don't plan on leaving it to rot. Although do feel free to point out any continuity errors. Heh…sorry, not as much action as you probably want, I don't want my story removed. But I'll try to put in some more Greed (there's a poll on my profile, go vote XD) and you will DEFINITELY see a bunch of him in Part 6. (Dun dun dun.) Thank you for reviewing!**

**Part 3: Genkaku (Illusion)**

**Chapter 19**

**A River in Egypt**

"So…" Hohenheim nursed his cup of coffee and plastered a dopey smile onto his face. "How's school?"

Ed stomped across the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, stonily ignoring his father. Al smiled apologetically, fingers sketching patterns on the tabletop.

"It's…okay. I'm doing pretty well. Better than last year."

"And that's…good?" Hohenheim looked to Ed for confirmation, but the seventeen-year-old continued stomping into the other room.

Al nodded. "Yeah." He didn't elaborate.

"So…um…what was last year like again?" Hohenheim winced as he watched Al's face fall. His youngest son had never been good at hiding his emotions – well, neither was his eldest.

"I flunked pretty much everything last year," Al said quietly with a little laugh, trying to make it a joke.

"Flunked?" echoed Hohenheim hollowly.

"You knew that."

"Oh. Right. Yeah." Now that he thought about it, he had. But that happened when you got old, you got so many memories stuffed into your head that some fell out.

Of course, it was his luck that it was always the inconvenient ones he lost.

"So…you're doing better, then. That's good." He scratched at his beard. He could have sworn homecomings were supposed to be pleasant. He'd read it somewhere. "How's, uh, how's Ed doing?"

"Better."

"Better?"

"Better." Al took a sip of his tea. For some reason Hohenheim couldn't fathom, Al never drank coffee. Too bitter, he said. Too strong. "What do you want me to say?"

"Happy." The word slipped out between breath and breath, a moment too late for him to bite it back. Al's back stiffened.

"I…don't like lying. He's better," he said again, firmly.

"What can I do?"

Al's hand jolted. A few drops of tea sloshed over the side and landed onto the table, soaking into the wood.

"Nothing." Al's voice was just as pleasant, calm and gentle as always, but the hidden message was there.

_You can leave._

* * *

><p>"Tadaimaaa~" Ling said the foreign word almost wearily as he opened the door. It seemed to make absolutely no difference to the chaos inside.<p>

"NII-SAN! Azula's bein' mean again!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"I am soo not! Shut up, Zuko!"

"Will you tell these brats to get the fucken' hell outta my space? They're cramping my style!"

"Cramping YOUR style? If you'd get a goddamn job you could get your own space!"

"Pff. Miroku hasn't yet –"

"Miroku's a fucking slacker!"

Amidst the cacophony of overlapping voices, Envy looked helplessly up at Ling. "What. The. Hell."

Ling sighed, and then waved his hand frantically in the air. "Hey! You lot! Pay attention!"

After some murmuring and kicking, the full-to-bursting living room fell silent – for a few blessed, blissful moments.

"Hey, is that your new girlfriend?" piped up one of the smaller ones. He must have been nine or ten, with hair in a short ponytail at the crown of his head and an ugly red birthmark around one of his eyes.

The girl next to him elbowed him fiercely. "Shut up, Zuko, she can't be, she's too pretty."

Ling groaned. "Okay, so Julia –"

"Ah, her name's _Julia, _is it?" This comment came from a scrappy-looking teenager with spiky ruffled hair who was draped carelessly over the back of an armchair.

"- this is my family. Regret asking yet?" Not waiting for an answer, he barrelled on with introductions.

"These two little brats are the twins, Zuko and Azula." The ponytailed boy and his almost-identical sister (although without the birthmark) raised their hands in greeting. "Somehow they haven't killed each other yet. I give 'em until middle school.

"The one reading a book like a big lump here," Ling poked the girl lying on the floor with his foot, and she gave him the finger without looking up, "is Rukia. Don't be fooled, she may be the same size as the twins, but she's thirteen."

"And old enough to kick your butt," she said distractedly, turning the page then reaching up to adjust her Chappy-the-Bunny hairpin.

"You can keep thinking that, love." He gave her another toe-poke, and then moved on. "Mei Chan you know – same age as Rukia."

"More twins?" asked Envy, looking back and forth between Mei and Rukia. They really didn't look all that alike – Mei's eyes were huge, for one, and her face was much chubbier than Rukia's elf-like chin and ears.

Ling looked oddly at him. "No, different mothers," he said, as if any idiot should have known that.

"Right. Okay." And Envy'd thought his family was weird.

"The cocky bitch in taekwondo gear over there is Tatsuki, who really _will _kick your ass."

Tatsuki grinned. She was the one with the spiky hair, noted Envy. _This would be much easier if they weren't all so…Asian…that was really racist. Unfortunately, it's also true._

"After Tatsuki is the wonderful, fabulous and oh-so-gorgeous me…" Ling paused for a moment, enjoying the sceptical look on Envy's face, and then moved on, "and then the equally wonderful and fabulous Ran Fan."

Ran Fan nodded briskly, her face an impassive mask. Ling poked her, breaking the mask as she collapsed into giggles, then smiled proudly.

"Anyway! Then is Soi Fon – who is…not here. Probably off screwing the babysitter again."

Zuko pressed his hands to his ears. "Lalalala! I didn't hear that! Lalalala! Soi Fon's just having…ice cream! With Yoruichi!"

Azula sniggered. "Suuure. You're such a baby, Zuko."

"After Soi Fon is this son of a bitch –" The man in the armchair scowled, although it might have been his default expression. Ling clapped him on the shoulder. "This is Kanda, who is a fucking idiot who dyed his hair blue."

"You have five seconds to remove your hand," said Kanda icily. He looked the most like Ling, albeit with the aforementioned blue hair, and his eyes actually remained open.

"And also not here is my oldest brother, inveterate skirt-chaser Miroku. Aside from the parents, that's it for the family." Ling clapped his hands together. "Now for our escape."

Envy chuckled, but didn't know what to say with the – oh god, how many pairs of eyes _were _there? – watching him. Eventually, he just followed Ling through the rest of the house, leaving Wrath at the family's tender mercies. He only hoped he'd get his little brother back at some point.

The Yao house certainly wasn't as big as that of the Angevins, but it had a lived-in feel to it – a dark-red carpet, stained in places but still mostly clean, chronicled the spills and messes of the large family, while the beige walls were interrupted and livened with various pictures and photographs.

Envy slowed to look at one of them, a smile creeping onto his face. It was at least two years old, and framed a grumpy-looking Ed with Ling resting his chin quite comfortably on top of his tousled gold head.

"Whatcha – ohh. Haha, figured you'd ogle that one. Sap." Ling reached forward to adjust the picture slightly, so it hung straight. "Jeez was he ever a cute kid."

"How long have you two known each other?" Envy knew it had been a long time, but he was still unprepared for the answer.

"Since we were born." Ling leant against the wall with a smirk. "His mum was our maid, and helped deliver about half of us – not me and not Ran Fan, and not Kanda or Miroku, but everybody else, yeah. In return, Ed got to run around with me."

"Your _maid?_"

Ling shrugged. "Yeah." They continued down the hallway, but Envy wasn't quite ready to drop the subject.

"So you've known Ed for your entire life?"

"Yup!"

"How come you two haven't ever dated?"

Envy thought he heard something pop and fizzle in Ling's head, even if his expression showed no major outward change. After a moment, he chuckled. "Oh, for Christ's sake, think that one through, _baka._ How well d'you think that would go?"

Envy took a moment to imagine it. "Oh dear god," he whispered after a moment, cheeks going red as he repeated Ling's religious invocation.

"Yeah. Doesn't mean I don't know he's hot – besides, I'm not gonna steal him from you," Ling added almost carelessly as he opened another door.

Envy squeaked, grinding to a halt as he struggled to find an answer. _Why oh why oh WHY do I freeze up like this when he does something like THAT?_

"We're not – I'm not…I'm not…" He pushed himself to action, practically throwing himself through the door, wobbling as he landed slightly awry on his high heels, and turned to Ling with a steely look. "I'm not even gay!" he protested, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.

He laughed again, closing the door behind him and pinching Envy's cheek. "Nah, neither am I, I just fuck boys because it's fun."

Envy crossed his arms. "It's not _funny. _Why does everybody think I'm gay?"

Ling looked him up and down, and then gave him a look that spoke volumes.

"Necessity," he said through gritted teeth, tugging self-consciously at his skirt. He span around – and stopped. "Oh, is this your room?"

"What else would it be?" The raven-haired teen flopped on the bed, bouncing up and down a few times then giving Envy a cheeky grin. Something in Envy's chest tightened.

_No. Stop it. _His body, unfortunately, refused to listen to his commands.

"Something on your mind, Angie?"

Envy blinked. "What?"

"Angie. It's short for Angevin. I need a pet-name for you, ya know."

The less-than-enthusiastic recipient of the title merely raised an eyebrow, trying for Sloth's signature look of detached disdain. (Which, in turn, had been stolen from their mother. Go figure.) "Call me obtuse if you will, but…Why?"

"Well, Ed's the Chibi, right? And Russ is the sexy Brit, right? Now we need one for you!"

Envy took a few steps towards Ling. "Not Angie."

"Fine. Anyway. Your mind. Something is on it."

He sighed. "It's nothing."

Ling cocked his head. "Come on. Sit down. I don't bite. Unless you want me to."

"You have an absolutely filthy mind," he pronounced as he sat down, to which Ling's only response was a leer.

_Okay. Where do I start?_

"Today's my birthday."

_Uhh…apparently, there. Thank you, mouth, for ignoring the democracy I thought I'd cultivated with myself._

Ling perked up. "Really! Aw man, happy birthday!" He swept up Envy in a bear hug, tackling him onto the bed and nuzzling his neck.

Envy's breath caught again, and he squeezed his eyes shut. _He doesn't know, _he reminded himself. _He has no idea. And he's not Greed. He's not…he's not Greed. _Exhaling slowly, he patted Ling's head awkwardly.

"I didn't know you were still sixteen. Man, I didn't even know it was coming up." Ling poked Envy's nose. "You're older than Russ, by the way, his birthday's not until August. But you shoulda told me!" It wasn't Greed he was reminding Envy of now, and with a bittersweet rush of warmth, he realized just why he liked the hyperactive chatterbox so much.

"Ling?"

"Yeah?" Ling lifted his head, and Envy wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug.

"Shut up."

They lay there quietly for a few moments, until with an embarrassed chuckle, Envy sat up and disentangled himself. "Uh, sorry about that. You just…really reminded me of somebody there."

"Who, Ed?"

"Pff. No."

Ling smiled so widely Envy wondered if his face was going to break in half. "Ya sure? I bet you think about him a _lot._"

_So much for that. _"That is _it! _Will you give up on this thing about me being gay already?" Envy got to his feet, kicking off his high heels and glaring at the boy still seated on the bed. "I'm not gay! I like girls! Just because the rest of you are all _faggots _doesn't mean I am too!" The word slipped out before he could stop himself, but it was too late to take it back. "And…and…" He growled, scratching at his back and searching for the clasp to his bra. "And I'm not a fucking girl either, so stop treating me like one. I can't even get this goddamn thing off –"

Ling got his feet, slowly approaching Envy with a look of concern on his face. "Hey, dude, relax, okay? I wasn't treating you like a girl, I was just –"

"Oh shut up!" Envy lashed out, slamming both his fists into the chest that was far, far, _far _too close to him. "Just – shut – up!" The chattering that he'd found so pleasant only moments ago clicked into painful static.

"You're panicking again – agh, I didn't mean to – fuck –" Ling reached out, then back, unsure where to put his hands, and Envy glared up at him.

"I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I _swear, _because I just can't be –" His words collapsed into a jumble, and he pressed his hands to his ears, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the world.

Warm hands covered his. A forehead pressed against his, and before he could pull away, Ling kissed him, mouth soft and sweet and salty.

Eyes still closed, Envy kissed him back.

_Why are you enjoying this?_

_ I didn't enjoy this so much with Kimbley – yeah, I did. Maybe not this much, but I did._

_ Because I was getting my revenge! I was getting blackmail! And no one will guess that I'm Julia – because I'm not gay! I don't like boys at all! I'm not gay!_

"Except," he whispered, words trickling like molasses from his lips as they parted, breaths coming slightly harder, "I think I am."

Ling laughed quietly, but not mockingly. "You're bisexual. Like me."

"Oh god." Envy couldn't reach above a whisper. "Oh god, Ed's going to hate me."

"He's not gonna hate you, _tsuyayakana hito."_

Envy could hear his own heart in his ears. "You've…" He swallowed. "You've called me that before."

"You remembered!"

"What does it mean?"

Ling opened his eyes just a sliver. "It means 'beautiful one'."

Envy let Ling kiss him again, eyes sliding closed. This wasn't anything like Kimbley, or Greed, or Martel. This wasn't an expression of love, or blackmail, or fear. This was just something he'd wanted – hadn't _known _he'd wanted – for a long, long time.

Ling combed his hands through his long green hair, the tie falling to the ground, then ventured up the back of his shirt, unclasping the bra that Envy'd been so frantically scratching at. He slid it off Envy's shoulders and let it fall to the ground from the bottom of the loose blouse. "Is that better?" he whispered between their lips, and Envy answered by pressing his body flush against the older boy's.

After a few moments, Ling pulled away again. "I, uh, I don't…I mean, you should know I'm not –"

"I get it," he interrupted. "I don't care." _He doesn't do long-term, that's great, I'm not interested in that._

Ling closed his hand around his and pulled him farther into the room – towards the bed.

His heartbeat was so loud.

* * *

><p>"Goddamn that son of a bitch!" Ed tossed the clothes across the hall into his room, panting slightly as he gathered up the things that didn't belong – ie. anything that had been bought forbrought by Envy and Wrath. "Showing up – without – any – fucking – warning – agh FUCK!"

He picked up something, untangling it only to find that it was one of the padded bras. "Ew." He threw it across the hallway to join the rest of the girl clothes, and then looked around the room. The two beds could be explained away as a place for Ling and Russell to sleep over. The clothes were out, the sheets were folded, the beds themselves were made…

"Phew." He sank to the floor, exhaling. Hopefully Ling wasn't getting up to too much mischief. For a moment, he had some misgivings about Ling's usual promiscuity and Envy, but then shook his head. Envy was smart enough not to do anything that stupid.

* * *

><p>He covered Envy's bare chest with butterfly kisses, sliding his hands up, over his shoulders and down his slender, skeletal arms to pin his wrists as the teen under him wriggled and writhed. Making a trail all the way down to Envy's bellybutton, he removed one hand to trace the line of thin, wispy blond hair that disappeared into the waist of his skirt.<p>

"You are so fucking gorgeous," he breathed before capturing Envy's lips again. Making his way down again, he nipped and sucked at Envy's exposed neck, rewarded with a low moan and Envy bending his head to give him better access. He continued, bringing up his legs slightly to grind against him.

"Ah!" Ling stopped for a moment to take in Envy's face, twin roses blooming in his cheeks, eyes half-lidded and mouth slightly parted in surprise, and then moved deliberately against him.

"Jesus H. Christ," swore the smaller boy, making a fist in the sheets. With a smirk, Ling leant back down to his neck, careful to avoid making his mark, as much as he wanted to. He tucked his other arm into the small of Envy's back, bringing their hips even more tightly together.

"You know," he whispered with a trace of irony, "I'd have most boys finished by now."

"I'm not most boys," retorted Envy, playful as always. "I thought you'd – ah – have figured that out by now."

Ling chuckled, kissing Envy's jawbone then leaning close into his ear and putting on his huskiest, deepest voice. "Want me to suck you off?"

Envy froze, warm body still and silent underneath him for a fraction of a second, then he reached up to wrap his arms around Ling's shoulders. "_P-Please," _he whispered, face not just blooming but glowing red with the effort it had taken him to admit.

He laughed again, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of Envy's skirt and leggings and pulling them down.

* * *

><p>"Flower of my heart! How are you, sweetie?" Hughes swept up his daughter in a tight embrace, and she hammered at him with her fists.<p>

"Da-ad! Stop embarrassing me!"

"Fine, fine." He put her down, and then ruffled her hair. "How was school?"

Elysia sighed and sat down on the sofa. "I don't like the new girl," she complained. "She's weird."

"New girl?" Hughes sat down across from her. "Who's that?"

"Her name's Sharon or something. She's from Arizona and she has a stupid accent." Elysia pulled a face. "And she walks around like she's all that. It's so annoying!"

He shrugged. "Well, she's not causing you any trouble, right?"

"Well, _nooo_…" Elysia dragged out the word, twining a strand of her hair around her finger. "But she's just so _arrogant!"_

Hughes nodded along with his daughter's words, mentally rolling his eyes a little bit. He loved Elysia, but he honestly didn't understand middle school mentality. He'd spent those years in a private boy's school with Roy, so he hadn't had to deal with girls and their spats.

There was something bothering him about this, though. As Elysia kept chattering, he narrowed it down. _It's May 10__th__. Who starts school two months before the end of the year?_

"-and her older sister is just as bad!"

"Older sister?"

Elysia nodded, indignation plastered on her face. She'd always been very expressive, even as a little girl. "Yeah, she's got a dumb high school sister too. Julia or something. She's kind of scary."

_There's two of them?_

Hughes frowned despite himself. The gears were clicking and turning – but he couldn't quite reach his answer.

* * *

><p>"I'm home!"<p>

Riza didn't look up, but raised her hand in the general direction of the door in a half-wave. Her eyes were too busy scanning the files laid out in front of her, examining the photographs, clippings and papers over and over again.

Winry sighed, locking the door behind her and unclipping the leashes from Den and Hayate's collars. "Riza, are you looking over those files again?"

She nodded, still trapped in her little focused world. She had photographs of Envy and Wrath all the way from their birth up to the week of their disappearance. Considering how much they'd been in the public eye, it wasn't unsurprising.

Winry laid a hand on her shoulder, startling her into looking up and into the sky-blue. "Riza, you need to relax. I know you're stressed out about this –"

"They've been missing for over a month now," replied Riza, voice subdued. "Statistically, after 72 hours, they're probably dead."

"Don't say that!"

She shrugged. "It's true." The words wrenched at her to say, but still they came out.

Winry sat down, not removing her hand. "I know you'll find them, Riza. I know you can. I believe in you." Reaching up, she unpinned the woman's hair, laying the hawk-shaped barrette aside and combing out the honey-toned locks. "You became a police officer so you could help people. So you could save people."

"I'm not doing a very good job." Riza reached forward and picked up one of the most recent photographs of Envy. It was from the Prime Minister's gala the night before they'd disappeared. Someone had captured the delicate boy in a rarely beautiful, candid moment – he was smiling crookedly, the lights of the room reflected in his eyes and thick tendrils of blonde hair tied in a high ponytail. In his one exposed ear glinted a small crystal – a recent addition, Riza had divined by looking at the other photographs. The foxlike, elfin lines of Envy's face in that particular candid were especially accentuated, and not for the first time, Riza wondered why he'd never become a model. With his mother and his looks, it was definitely a viable career option.

Winry frowned. "Is that Envy?"

"Who else would it be?"

She shook her head. "I…I don't know. For a moment, I just thought – Never mind."

Something struck a chord in Riza's chest – something almost, but not quite, clicked. "Winry, tell me," she demanded, wincing as she heard the demanding tone in her own voice. She'd sworn never to sound like Mordred, but some things didn't go away.

The nineteen-year-old looked away, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "It's just…that picture looks a lot like…like Julia."

"Julia? Who's Julia?"

"Just a girl I see when I'm walking the dogs – there's a group of them, Ed and Ling and Russell and Julia, and we – we just fool around and have a couple laughs." Winry laughed nervously. "It's probably nothing."

Riza bit her lip then took a deep breath, trying to center herself. There was no point in jumping to conclusions.

Except they were all she had now.

"Do you have any pictures of…Julia?"

Winry thought for a moment, rolling her eyes to the ceiling, and then dug in her pocket, pulling out her phone. "Maybe – I took a video of us being dumb yesterday, and I think I caught her in a few shots. I don't remember."

Riza practically snatched the phone, playing the video.

_The camera bucks and rolls. Pavement – then, a painful close-up of a face. The camera backed up, and Ed scowled at the camera._

_ Winry: Hey, Ed! Guess what?_

_ Ed rolls his eyes. Ed: What?_

_ Winry: You're short!_

_ Ed's face turns crimson almost immediately, and he raises his fist, charging the camera as he screams, I AM NOT SHORT YOU CRAZY GEARLADY! TAKE THAT BACK BEFORE I CARVE YOUR HEART OUT WITH A SPOON!_

_ The camera pans away from him, and the rest of his rant is blocked out with giggles as Winry runs away. It's taken from her. There's a flash of black hair, then the camera focuses on a girl standing against the sun._

_ Ling: Julia darling, what's your opinion on current events?_

_ Julia: Ya mean Ed bein' nuts or Winry being suicidal?_

_ Her voice has a southwestern twang to it._

_ Ling: Both, of course!_

_ The camera shifts. The sun is no longer blocking Julia's face._

_ Julia: If he didn't like dick so much, I'd tell 'em to get married already!_

Riza paused the video, staring at the girl. She brought up the photo with shaking hands, and held them side by side.

Winry clapped her hands to her mouth. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I never noticed –"

"It's okay."

It was impossible if you didn't have them side by side – and if you didn't have that exact photo. But Julia had the same ponytail in that video, the crystals winking in her ears, the makeup couldn't hide the steep angles of her face and jaw, and though the low-quality video didn't show Riza enough to be sure, she thought Julia's eyes might be purple.


	20. Claustrophobia

**I was so mean and left you with a major cliffie on chapter 19…and this in no way resolves it. Mwahahaha.**

**This almost directly corresponds with a chapter in Seven Reasons actually…I essentially just took that chapter and added a few bits because it's one of the few I'm proud of from that story. It's shorter than Envy's chapters, but that's because Wrath is a very draining character to write – and he's also not the main character, haha.**

**Yaya-Suki: Nuuurd~ They're pretty mainstream shows, don't feel bad. And – yare, yare! Be nice to Riza and Hughes XD They're doing their job, ya know. Possessive of Cutie!Envy…I should have know this would happen…Thanks for reviewing!**

**what-is-the-colour-of-love: Haha, good…I think? And what were you freaking out at – all the cameos, Envy coming out, Envy/Kimbley, Envy/Ling lime, Hughes and Riza figuring out the Julia/Envy trick…or, uh, all of the above? XD Okay, never mind. Thanks for reading and reviewing as always 3**

**Guest: Omg another person from the olden days! *le gasp* I'm glad you like the new version – I'd hardly call this a 'lighter' vein tbh but only I know the different directions the versions were going in, so fair's fair. Thank you for the compliment ^^ And the next chapter will be a bit quicker – it'll be quite long (being another arc-ender) but it's back to Envy. Wrath is hard to write _ **

**YukinoKara: The new system I like because then I actually remember to review…:P Poor Hoho, he's just trying to be a dad. But he's so bad at it D: Apparently the Yaos are a hit! Good to know XD And yup, Martel TwT I figured it was obvious enough without actually saying it. Gilligan cuts are the best – I don't use them much but I thought in this instance it would be perfect. How's Ed gonna react when he finds out? O.o I've gone back and put in the page breaks, as well as fixed the Japanese – you were right, the lemon to Hughes was a bit…weirdly creepy…Thanks for reviewing and for being my luverly beta~**

**Master of the Hellish Yard: MONSTER REVIEW IS MONSTER :D :D :D Okay, one point at a time XD If I do anything more with Kimbley, I'll try to restore his character a bit.**

**Haha, I'll try to do more Kanda and Miroku, but honestly there won't be a whole lot of room for the Yao family. And a lot of Kanda's characterization I actually got from Any Way You Want It by Novelist Pup (sooo goooood). **

**OH GOD THAT WAS HILARIOUS TO WRITE. EnvyxKimbley is one of my guilty pleasures but messing with pairings is also a guilty pleasure, so that was fun. **

**Oh, absolutely. Trisha was part of the family – and so is Ed, or he would be if he was a bit more keen on the idea of a families.**

**Er, fun may not be the word. And I doubt Kanda and Greed would honestly get along too well – like you said, depending on circumstances, but Kanda has too many siblings in this 'verse to take someone like Greed lightly.**

**Thank you for your condolences Honestly writing Lust has become very hard but also very fulfilling, so I'm glad you enjoy the character – and the story! Thank you for reviewing~**

**Part 3: Genkaku (Illusion)**

**Chapter 20**

**Claustrophobia**

Mei's couch was comfortable enough, Wrath supposed. But it would have been a lot more so without the shroud of awkwardness and…was that fear he sensed coming from the bean-girl hidden under her covers?

He lifted his face from the green arm of the sofa and gave the pile of sheets a bleary glare, taking a moment to find her eyes where they peered from between a stuffed animal and a panda-festooned duvet.

"Why are you scared of me?"

Mei tugged down the covers slightly, exposing her bright face like a full moon. "I – I dunno. Your sister's scarier."

"She's not my sister, she's my _cousin."_

"Oh. Really? Ellie said you were sisters –"

"She's wrong!" _Fuck. _He hadn't meant to be quite so vehement. "I mean…we've got _different last names, _didn't you notice that? Wheeler, Vasquez. Vasquez, Wheeler."

"Ohhh, I see."

He chuckled despite himself. Mei's utter denseness was kind of cute, to be honest. "So back on topic, why're you scared of me?"

"I…I don't know…you scare Ellie, and Ellie's not scared of _anything_."

"Ha! Elysia Hughes, scared of _me?_" He snorted derisively. "Yeah right."

"But she _is! _I don't know why!" She clasped her hands to her mouth. "I shouldn't have said that," she whispered, horrified.

"Pft. I don't give a damn. But if she keeps fucking with me, I _am _going to do something."

He needed only to look at Mei's face to know what thoughts were going through her head. With a slightly satisfied smirk, he turned his back to her and tried to sleep.

* * *

><p>Wrath thrust his head under the sink, gasping as the cold water robbed him of his breath. It was the shock he needed for the lights to come back on, the ceiling of the school washroom to rise back to its position and for the fist clenching his heart to release.<p>

It was the third time that week. Only when his chest felt about to burst with the need for breath did he turn off the tap and let the water drip from his heavy black hair.

_**You're such a pussy.**_

_Shut up._

Flipping his hair back and keeping his eyes shut tight, Wrath took a deep breath, and then looked into the mirror. His makeup had somehow held, and he sighed in relief – reapplying it was a pain, but without it he just looked like himself. The makeup was his mask.

_**Man, what kind of fucking idiot are you? Putting on makeup? Sure you're not a fag, Wrath?**_

_Shut UP._

Wrath examined his reflection, sticking out his tongue and fixing his shirt. He wore a white t-shirt and blue mini-skirt today, a belt fixed around his midriff and giving the illusion of hips. His hair had been bouncier before he'd soaked it, but it would have to do.

"Welcome back, Sharon Wheeler," he announced sardonically. He _hated _his reflection. This wasn't him – he hadn't become his character the way his brother had. He hated the clothes and the attitude and the drama, but most of all, he hated being someone he wasn't.

He leant forward, hands planted on the counter either side of the skin, and growled, "Fuck you," at the mirror.

"It's mutual, I assure you."

Wrath cursed under his breath as Elysia Hughes walked into the bathroom, lip gloss already out for reapplication. "Elysia. How lovely."

"Miss Ross wants to know if you're okay," she said dismissively, leaning forward to run the small brush over her already-shiny lips. "So do I," she added as an afterthought.

"Keep your big nose out of other people's business."

One of Elysia's hands flew instantly to her nose. "It's not big," she muttered, "and I was asking for the _teacher_. You could at least _try _to be nice."

"Same goes to you. Now leave me alone."

Elysia rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't feel like going back to class. So I'll pretend to have been 'comforting you' when I get back."

Wrath snorted. "You're doing a wonderful job. Don't let me stop you."

"Hmph. You're such a bitch."

"You have no idea."

Elysia smacked her lips together and dropped the lipgloss into her purse. "So are you following the Angevin case?"

Wrath's head snapped towards her so quickly that he thought he might get whiplash. "What?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't _really _sound as forced as he thought it did.

"I hope they find the bastards."

"The _kids, _you mean?"

"No," she said slowly, "the bastards who _took _them."

Wrath couldn't help it; he laughed. "You think they were kidnapped?"

"Envy wouldn't _run away._"

_**What a sweet little retard - still hopelessly in love with your brother. Hey, maybe if you told her who you were, you could get a good fuck out of her.**_

Elysia continued on blithely, arrogantly secure in her knowledge of Envy's mental state. "I mean, why would he? He had a super awesome house and a rich family, and…" She faltered slightly. "He had…_me…" If he'd ever had the courage to reach out and take it._

"Hmph. Well, if they were kidnapped, they're probably already dead."

"Don't SAY that!" Elysia slammed her hands into the counter, blazing eyes turned towards Wrath, who kept his head turned away.

"Why not? 72 hours, after that, the odds are, like, nothing."

He pretended not to notice the tears stinging at the girl's eyes. It didn't bother him. It _wouldn't_ bother him.

_**Why not? She's not even crying for you, just Envy. She barely even noticed you while you were here.**_

"Shut up! Just, shut up! They're not dead – they're not, they're NOT!"

_**They? Why doesn't she just say HE?**_

Suddenly, in a flash of red fury and white fear and black hate, Wrath's arm was against Elysia's throat, pinning her against the plaster wall. "Maybe," he snarled, losing the disguise, "it was the little brother who died first. Didn't think of that, did you, Ely?"

"Sh-Sharon?" Elysia was trembling in his grip, and with a shock of delight, Wrath realized that Mei had been _right. _

_**You've got her right where you want her. Take what you want.**_

"You _scared_?" he hissed. "Good. You've never been hurt a day in your life, princess, and this? This is what it fucking feels like. To be completely and absolutely helpless."

_**And it turns you on, you fucking sick bastard. God I love ya. Now do it.**_

He kissed her, teeth sharp and tongue forceful and probing. Then, he jerked himself away. He threw open the bathroom door, letting it slam behind him as he strode through the halls.

The ceiling dropped; the walls crumbled; the lights faded until he was in total and complete darkness, only his feet showing him the way.

_**Good boy.**_

Outside, it was raining, and slumping down onto the concrete step, Wrath let the water pour down on him.

_Let me drown. Let me drown._

_ Please, take him away._

* * *

><p>"Hey, I'm here. Just needed a breather."<p>

Miss Ross raised an eyebrow, and then continued on with her lesson on Confederation.

Wrath sat back down, and stared at Elysia's back. Less than fifteen minutes after…that, she was sitting straight and dry-eyed – though with more seriousness than usual.

_ She won't figure it out._

He examined the ridges of her bones through the shirt that clung tightly to her frame. She was a small girl, thin but with curves in all the right places. She was beautiful, innocent, a child trying to cope with the disappearance of the one she loved.

Wrath closed his eyes, trying to ignore the voice that told him to grab and to take and to damn the consequences.

* * *

><p>Greed wasn't always abrasive and abusive. He'd stay most of the time afterwards, pretending to be a lover or a companion instead of a rapist.<p>

"Love ya," he'd mutter, and before he fell into sleep, he'd add a name that didn't belong. Those were the nights where the black-haired boy would examine his face in the dark, try to find a hint of the double life he led. The wrinkles on his forehead or the laugh lines at the corner of his eyes? The scar on his chest from a bar fight or the mark on his arm where Wrath had bitten him as a baby? Did he know he was causing pain or was this some sort of twisted induction into adulthood?

He always left before sunset. It was almost like he was ashamed to see the bruises in broad daylight or the blood that was almost always there.

No matter how ashamed he was…

He always came back.

* * *

><p>School ended, and Wrath slunk through the yard as quickly as possible. He didn't feel like a repeat of yesterday – either with Elysia or with Mei. And Julia's intervention had probably just made things worse.<p>

_I can't wait for this to be over._

"Hey! Sharon! Sharon, wait up!" It took a moment for him to remember that Sharon was his name, turning around – then continuing on when he saw who it was.

"I'm _talking _to _you,_" snapped Elysia as she finally caught up to him, Mei trailing slightly behind and Kole sauntering nonchalantly a good few metres farther back.

"And I'm ignoring you. See how this works? Bye." He tried to walk away, but a warm hand suddenly clasped itself around his bicep, and he swallowed down the urge to scream, _don't touch me._

_ **You're jumpy, ain't ya? She's touching ya, that's a good thing. Stop jumping at shadows.**_

Instead, he pulled Elysia's hand away, turning to face her. "Okay, fine. What do you want."

Elysia swallowed, glancing at Mei, Kole, and then back to him. There was a flush rising on her cheeks, and her blue eyes kept flickering around, never landing on any one spot.

"I just wanted to…er…" The flush darkened, and her voice got very quiet, her mouth twisting. "apologize."

"Sorry, what?" Both of his inner voices echoed the statement.

She looked up at him, shyness gone. "Didn't you hear me, idiot? I'm trying to apologize."

"As in, sorry I'm a bitch?"

"Yes, exactly like that – ugh!" She threw up her hands. "I shouldn't have bothered."

Wrath shook his head, chuckling slightly even under the brunette's indignant glare. "You're a fuckin' headcase."

"And _you're _a complete and utter whackjob," she hissed through gritted teeth. "But that doesn't mean you're not coming shopping with me tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay." Wrath nodded his head – then froze. "Hold on, what? Let me untangle that. What?"

"Shopping. Tomorrow. After school. The four of us."

Wrath blinked, and then blinked again. "Uh. Okay. Fine. Yeah. I can do that…"

Elysia's face was completely red now. "And FYI, this was all Mei's idea." With that, she stormed off, biting her lip furiously.

Wrath watched her go. She was wearing wedges today with a black, pleated skirt, and he tried not to let his gaze stray.

_**Aw, why the hell not? Come on, she's got a nice ass, enjoy it while ya can. And maybe you can get a closer look sometime. **_

He was so captivated watching her strut away that he didn't realize the strange looks he was getting from the other two girls.

"I _knew _you were gay."

"Huhbuhduhwha?" Wrath tore his gaze away, and then began to curse eloquently (and mentally) once Kole's words processed. "No, I just – I'm shocked, that's all!"

Kole rolled her eyes, pulling her paperboy cap down further over her eyes. "Sure. And I'll pretend that you don't just _scream _dyke."

"Oh, fuck you."

"That's what I was _saying."_

"G-guys!" interrupted Mei. "Stop it! W-we're too young to be thinking about that anyway…"

_If only she knew._

_ **It's kind of funny, ain't it? Ya forget how young ya really are til you have to deal with everybody else. Pity, too. A few years down the road she'd be good for a night or two.**_

Wincing slightly away from the cruel words, Wrath shrugged nonchalantly, trying to keep up his persona, even against the internal attack. "I'm not gay," he said honestly, "but if you think that, then whatever. See you tomorrow."

With that, he left. It took another minute for Mei to catch up with him. "Sharon, did you forget we were going to the same place?"

"…Maybe."

"You totally did!" Mei giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, then looked up at the taller 'girl'. "So are you and Ellie going to be friends now?"

"Hell no."

"What? Why not?"

"I don't do friends," was his curt response. _And I'm not telling her more than that. What the hell is there to say?_

She didn't ask, though. And the walk back to the Yao house was silent and heavy with secrets.

* * *

><p><em><strong>So when ya gonna quit this fucked-up game?<strong>_

_When Envy says it's over._

_ **When Envy says, when Envy says! Jesus! Don't you ever think for yourself?**_

_Funny, coming from you. And I'm thirteen. I'll let him do the hard work, thanks._

_ **Lazy bastard. I thought Wrath was your sin, not Sloth.**_

_Whatever._

_ **Come on. Take off the makeup. Change out of those clothes. Come home. I'm your brother, wildling, I'll take care of ya.**_

_The hell you will. Fuck off._

_ **It's not like you didn't enjoy it sometimes –**_

_Fuck off._

_ **You know I love you.**_

Wrath squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to let any tears leak out. "No you fucking didn't, you sick bastard," he whispered. "It wasn't me. It was never me."

_**You really think that?**_

"Go away." He didn't care who heard anymore. He just wanted Greed to leave him _alone. _"Please…please…"

He was begging again, just like he had before – all those times, flipped onto his back or his front or forced onto his knees or into the closet with the locked door – "Please, please, I'll be good –please, not this time –"

Wrath curled up even more tightly into a ball, knees either side of his head and fighting the nausea that crippled him.

He was never going to be okay.


	21. Unravelling

**Okay, this is an arc-ender, so you know the protocol: brief break (which may or may not actually be noticeable) and then I come back with a new arc name and huuuge plot turning points!**

**Completely related, does anybody reading this make AMVS? Because One Day More from Les Miserables would make a FANTASTIC FMA:B AMV about the Promised Day (and the day before). I would tentatively place Hohenheim: Valjean, Ed and Winry for Marius and Cosette, Roy for Enjolras, Envy and Kimblee for the Thenardiers (they just have that jackal-like quality), Pride/Wrath/Father for Javert, and Eponine would be…I don't know. Mei and Ran Fan would both kind of work (for Al and Ling/Greed respectively), but Riza would also be an interesting choice. Seriously though, even if you don't make AMVs, listen to One Day More and think about FMA. **

**Dammit, now I want to do an FMA AU Les Miz style…it works really, really well! Look Down for the Ishbal War…I Dreamed A Dream for Trisha…On My Own for Winry every time Ed and Al run off…**

**YukinoKara: You bet the voices are annoying. Wrath's psychotic in the series and I wanted him to be like that here too (although he's ending up more like canon!Envy…hm. Interesting.) And I figured it was a good place for Ross, although I wish I could do more with her. People forget about Wrath! (Which, as you may notice, is not-so-hilariously lampshaded both in this chap and the last one.) Kole…ah, Kole. I could go into a whole dissertation of Kole. But that can wait. I've got a whole wealth of oneshots/short fics I want to do on characters in this verse that I don't have the chance to expand on. And Mei is the innocent one, she's so darling ^^ Thank you! He's difficult to write, but it's ultimately fulfilling – and I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing and betaing 3**

**Part 3: Genkaku: Illusion**

**Chapter 21**

**Unravelling**

Ed was never one for typical good mornings, and the morning of the Angevin brothers' third day at the Yao house was no different. He stood in front of Julia for a moment, a tired smile on his face, before falling against the locker, to the ground and letting his head slump on the goth-girl's shoulder.

"Tired, Elric?" asked Julia in a dry voice, flipping the page of her book with a lace-gloved hand.

"No. I'm _fucking _tired," he mumbled, words half-lost in her shoulder. "Bastard finally left."

Julia blinked, and then snapped the book shut in one hand, finally turning to look incredulously at him. "You drove off your own dad?"

"No, I kicked him out. Difference."

"You can't – I mean – how do you even –"

Ed sniggered. "Okay, it wasn't exactly like that. But point is he's gone again – still leaving us money, although I really need to find another job. I've been looking but I can't find anything."

"So do you want us to stay at Ling's place a bit longer?"

He flopped his hand in the air. "Naw, come back. Place is too quiet without you."

Julia gave him a good-natured swat. "Oh _please, _honey. You've got enough energy to keep New York runnin' for a year. Although," she amended, "not right now."

Ed didn't reply, starting to snore. She rolled her eyes, and then caught sight of Ling – grinning like a madman. "Oh quit that," she hissed. "You look like the Joker."

"Why so serious?" he replied, before making an obscene gesture that turned poor Julia a rather virulent shade of red.

"Bastard." However, her insult was blocked out by the sound of the bell ringing. Ed jerked awake, and then got to his feet, muttering something about 'stupid Mustang'.

Ling helped Julia to her feet, leaning in close to her ear. "So how about a kiss?" She pushed him away with a chuckle, picking up her backpack and following Ed to class.

He laughed slightly, watching her go before turning around – and nearly dropping his bag. "Oh. Hi, Russell."

Russell narrowed his eyes, cold and suspicious. "_Julia? _Is there nobody you haven't screwed around with, Ling?"

"Russell, it's not like that –"

He lifted his lip in a snarl. "Then _explain it to me._"

Ling sighed, rubbing his temples, and then grasped Russell's shoulders – noticing how the younger boy was pressing _into _his grip instead of flinching away. He remembered what Ed had told him, and couldn't help smiling slightly. "Hey. Relax, first of all, okay?"

Russell took a deep breath, although his body language was still hostile. "Okay."

"You're sending me kind of mixed messages."

"_Mixed messages! _You're one to talk -!"

"Relaxed, remember?" Ling pressed down on Russell's shoulders.

"Right. Okay. Okay." He seemed almost on the verge of tears.

"So we're going to go to the park during our spare and we're going to _talk this through. _And you're not going to run off and I'm not going to be a skeeze and you're not going to yell at me and I'm not going to yell at you. Can you do that?"

Russell glanced away. "I…I guess I can."

Ling grinned. "Awesome." He brushed his hand lightly over Russell's cheek, then remembering himself, tore himself away. "But first we need to sit through Chemistry."

Russell caught the sleeve of his jacket. "Actually," he said quietly, face red, "maybe we can miss Chemistry."

All in all, it was a normal day at Central high-school. Students were bickering, flirting, bantering and fighting just like any other day.

* * *

><p><em>"Julia Vasquez, please report to the office immediately. Julia Vasquez, the office."<em>

All eyes in the classroom turned to her, expressions running the gamut from confused to questioning to gently amused…to worried.

"You heard that," said Professor Mustang, gesturing with the metre stick to the door. "Go ahead."

She did so, trailing her hand discreetly against Ed's for comfort. _Calm down. It's probably nothing._

_ It could be anything._

_ It could be anything._

* * *

><p>"Are you sure about this, Hawkeye?" whispered Havoc, shifting nervously in the office chair. He was far too tall for it, although the smaller Riza fit nicely.<p>

"No. But it's the best lead we've got."

"She _could _just look a lot like him."

"She could. But pair that with what Hughes said – the younger girl, the arrival date…It's worth a shot."

Havoc shrugged, and then ran his fingers through his unruly hair. "I suppose. I'm just nervous – oh, here she is."

The door creaked open and Julia Vasquez stood in the doorway, fists clenched by her side and purple eyes fixed on Riza.

Riza stared back.

The video hadn't quite done Julia's strangeness justice. She couldn't put her finger on it – was it that she didn't seem quite put together right, like five mannequins cut apart and glued together? Was it the scared and haunted look that seemed to have appeared the moment the girl had laid eyes on _her?_

Or was it the nagging sense of familiarity that she knew, _knew _had to have some base in reality?

"Julia?"

The girl nodded.

"Sit down, please."

She did so, and Riza kicked Havoc discreetly so he would stop watching her hips. _I must be wrong. No self-respecting male actually walks like that._

"You…you wanted to see me?"

_South-western accent, paired with a hint of Spanish. Odd choice…if it's fake._

Havoc glanced down at the piece of paper in front of him. "Julia, my name is Jean Havoc, and this is Riza Rockbell. We're part of the Ottawa Police Department and we'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Am I in trouble?"

Riza snuck a glance at Havoc, who seemed taken aback by how forthright the girl was. _All reports – and from what I remember – indicate that Envy is shy, quiet, unlikely to rebel. Hence why his disappearance was such a shock._

"So Julia, you just moved to Canada, right?"

"Mhm."

"Tell me about your family."

Julia nodded, and then tapped her chin. "It's just me, my dad and my cousin. My dad's still in Arizona tryin' to sell our house, but me and Sharon came up here."

"Where are you staying while your father is still in the States?"

"Oh, we're staying with a family friend." Her voice was light, but Riza noticed how her hands, folded in her lap, suddenly gripped into white-knuckled fists.

"I see."

"Why are you asking me all this?" Julia's voice was…scared, nervous…but not surprised. _She already knows the answer._

Havoc kept his voice controlled and casual. "A kid and his brother went missing a while ago – Envy and Wrath Angevin."

Riza kept a close watch on Julia's eyes. Everybody responded to their own name – it was an innate instinct, and even though she could see in every falsely-languid movement that Julia had herself on a very, very tight leash…this would be telling.

The Arizona girl blinked. Her pupils dilated for less than a millisecond, before she closed them and shrugged. "Musta been before I got here. I've heard his name thrown about."

"Oh? What have you heard?"

"Just that he was a weird kid, really quiet."

Havoc gave Riza a sidelong glance. Julia's gaze flickered between the two of them.

"What? What did I say?" Her voice rose in pitch, and then cracked horribly on the last word, sending it plummeting back down to a tenor. She covered her mouth, eyes wide. After a moment, she chuckled awkwardly.

"Would you like a drink of water?" asked Riza, seizing the moment. There was only one way to truly be sure, without ruining the girl's life by accusing her of something she hadn't done – of being somebody she _wasn't._

Julia nodded, face turning red – embarrassment? Heat? Fear? It could have been many things.

_Although, _she mused, as she poured cold water into a paper cone, _if she is Envy…I've never seen someone pass so well._

* * *

><p>Oh god. His voice had cracked – <em>cracked. What's the matter with you, Envy Angevin? <em>he berated himself mentally. _Your perfect disguise, then you get a little flustered and BOOM!_

_ Calm down. Calm down._

_ Think about…Ling._

_ No. That's a fucking terrible idea._

_ Think about Ed._

His face grew hot, and he quickly slurped down the water, trying to hide his unexplainable flush.

The two police officers watched him like hawks, and he shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. Their eyes made him _itch. _

"So, Julia," said Havoc conversationally, picking up the threads of the question-and-answer session – oh fuck, he might as well call it what it was, an interrogation – seamlessly. "Did nobody mention to you that Envy and Wrath Angevin were, in fact, the sons of two very famous, very influential people?"

Envy gulped. "What? Really? You ain't kiddin'."

"I'm afraid not."

Riza was still silent, observing Envy coolly with her cognac-hued eyes. They'd never been _just _brown, no – the same way Winry's eyes weren't _just _blue, and Martel's eyes weren't _just _green. Bloody hell. He was _fucked._

She spoke, voice quiet and almost threatening. "Julia, if there's anything you'd like to tell us, now is the time."

_They know._

He sucked up the last few drops of water, noticing with the strange, detached interest he attached to anything to do with his disguise that there was a smear from his lipstick. _How do women manage to not leave marks everywhere?_

"Afraid I can't think of anything." He let his shoulders rise and fall. "Hope ya find 'em, though. Hate to think of someone out there snatching kids."

Havoc nodded, although his mind seemed to be elsewhere. "Alright. Thanks for your help." He and Riza got to their feet, pushing back their chairs.

Envy slowly exhaled, trying to keep it unnoticeable. _I was expecting that to be a lot worse._

As Havoc picked up the beige file in front of him, it slipped open, papers fanning out across the table.

Envy at the gala.

Wrath's school photo.

Lust, right before she'd been diagnosed.

Sloth's portrait.

And right in front of Julia Vasquez, staring up at her with malice that only she could sense, only she could feel, was Greed, frozen in a black-and-white copy of his driver's license photograph.

Envy's chest suddenly felt very tight. He wanted this disguise off, he wanted it _off, now, _and he could feel Greed's hot, whiskey breath on his ear, and he could hear his growls, and he could feel every bruise burning hot and cold –

"Are you alright?"

Riza was kneeling in front of him now, and she looked honestly worried. Envy nodded, trying to pull his eyes away from the photograph.

He hadn't seen Greed – or even seen a picture of him – since the night he'd left home. Since his own brother had tried to _rape him. _(The words were impossible to run away from, even though he'd tried to run away from all of it.)

Then the picture was gone, tucked back into the file and under Havoc's arm.

"If you have any questions…this is the number you can reach us at." A card was slid onto the table, and it was all Envy could do to nod and try not to shake.

_Goddamn panic attacks. They know something's up._

"I'll take this for you." The paper cone was lifted from his trembling and limp fingers, and he murmured something that might have sounded like a 'thank you'.

"Are you sure you're alright?" It was Havoc this time, and Envy forced a charming smile onto his face. Havoc was a handsome man, and his face didn't hold the memories that Riza Rockbell's did.

"I'm fine, it's just a headache. They come on very quickly."

"Oh, I see. Hate those." Havoc patted his shoulder, and they left.

Then it hit him what had just happened.

"WAIT!" he yelled, bolting out of the chair and into the hall. "Give that – no, wait, don't –" But the two police officers were already gone…with them the paper cone, smeared with lipstick…and DNA.

"Fuck," he whispered, leaning against the wall of the corridor and ignoring the strange looks he was getting from the office staff. "Fuck, it's over. It's fucking over."

* * *

><p>"Detention, Elric," came the familiar voice through his thoughts. "And honestly, I'm getting rather bored of your antics."<p>

"What? Again?" Ed glared at Mustang. "What'd I do this time?"

"Nothing. Which is precisely the problem." Mustang walked over and tapped the metre stick on Ed's desk. "I've asked you the same question about five times and all fives times you've completely ignored me."

"Oh. Sorry." He was too tired for this shit. And honestly, even a lunch date with Roy couldn't stop him from worrying about Envy.

"And…there's the bell. I want pages 365-370 reviewed for tomorrow, and remember, the test is on Monday…"

Envy wasn't back yet.

Fuck.

He would have felt a lot better if Ling and Russell had had the decency to show up today of all days. _Idiots._

"Ed." He almost missed the whispered voice, but he just caught it, and swivelled around. Envy was standing there, suddenly tiny in the crowded hall despite being a good inch taller than Ed.

"What's the matter? Who was it?"

"Police." Envy's eyes were darting about. "They know, Ed, they _know._"

"Shit. Okay. First things first, you're a mess." Ed took Envy's hands in his own, feeling how brittle and thin they were. They were trembling like poplar leaves in a thunderstorm, and he brought them up to his face, pressing them against his cheeks. "Take a deep breath."

"O…okay."

"You're going to be _fine. _We're going to make _sure _this works out okay. Come on. We'll go to class and you can concentrate on something else."

Envy nodded, still shaking. There was a flush on his pale cheeks now, and he smiled crookedly. "Your face is warm. It's nice."

It quickly became even warmer as Ed hurriedly pulled away. "I, er, sorry, dunno why I did that. Anyway! We're gonna be late, come on!"

* * *

><p>"Oy Mustang!" Ed strode into the classroom – only to see Roy on the phone with an uncharacteristically furrowed brow. He waved a hand at Ed, a clear indicator to be quiet.<p>

"Yeah. Yeah, of course…I'll take a look. One moment." He covered the receiver and looked up. "After school, Elric."

"But –"

"_After. School."_

Ed bit his lip, turning around and barrelling out of the door. _Stupid pansy bastard can't put a bloody phone-call on hold for his goddamn boyfriend. Probably some big-boobed bimbo girlfriend of his he's chatting away with. Fuck him. Well, I guess that'll be happening after school. _He perked up at the idea of getting the teacher to bend over for _him _instead of the other way around, and then chuckled embarrassedly at the thought.

"ED! Ed Ed Ed CHIBI-CHAN! _Hana no kokoro mai!_"

Ed sighed. "Hello, Ling." He tried to follow Ling's face, but it was too hard with him jumping up and down and all over the place.

With a roll of his eyes and a grin, Russell planted his hands on Ling's shoulders and forced him back down to earth.

"Guess what, Edo?"

"What?"

"Russell and I aren't gonna fight anymore!"

Ed raised an eyebrow. "And…why's that?"

The corners of Ling's mouth nearly hit the ceiling. "Because we're gonna be fuckin' all the time instead!"

Russell swatted him, cheeks bright. "Ahem. What he means, of _course, _is that we've settled our differences and, uh…" He bit his lip in a shy smile. "We're dating. I think."

"Course we are, Russ-chan!" The Japanese boy grabbed Russell's hand, entwining their fingers together, and Ed thought the Brit might explode.

"That's great, really, guys. I'm gonna be super happy for you in a moment, okay?" He pushed past them, scanning the hall for Envy's distinctive green hair – but it was conspicuously missing.

"Where's Envy?"

Ling shrugged. "I dunno, he took off a few minutes agooooo SHIT."

Russell went very pale. Then he went very red. Then he went very purple.

"_Envy?_" he managed to hiss from between clenched teeth. "As in, missing for a month Envy?"

"Uhh, just a slip of the tongue…" Ed tried to backtrack, but Russell was having none of it. He pulled his hand fiercely out of Ling's grasp.

"Are you telling me that _Julia _is _Envy?_ Because if you are, then I am going to be very. Very. Very. Annoyed."

Ed gulped, rubbing the back of his head. He'd _slipped. _A month of practicing, of keeping a leash on his tongue, and today of all days, when it meant the most, he'd slipped.

Russell turned to Ling. "Tell me that I didn't hear you call Julia Envy. _Tell me, Ling._"

"I…I wish I could, babe. If it makes you feel better, I wasn't supposed to know." Ling pressed his fingers together, suddenly solemn. It wasn't a look he wore often.

Just like that, the happiness was gone, and Russell's eyes were back to being icy shards of blue. "And _nobody thought I might like to know?"_

"We just –"

He'd forgotten just how good Russell's left hook was.

* * *

><p>"I appreciate you meeting with us at such short notice, Mrs. Angevin."<p>

Dante sniffed, tucking a strand of silver hair behind her ear. "Don't expect it as a habit. Have you found my son?"

"No, but we've definitely got a new lead."

"Tell me."

Hughes shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea just yet – it's a very delicate situation."

Her purple eyes flashed. "You will tell me where my son is, now!"

"Sons, Mrs. Angevin," corrected Hughes quietly, pushing his glasses further onto his face. "Both of them."

"Yes…of course." She folded her hands carefully in her lap, unruffled. "What do you require?"

Hughes took a deep breath, and tried to signal to Havoc to stop fiddling. They were both nervous at being so bold. "We think we know why Envy and Wrath ran away."

"Ran away? Don't be ridiculous. They would have returned by now. They have no idea how to live in the real world." The strand of hair had fallen out from behind her ear again, and she reached up to return it to its position.

Hughes shook his head. "As we told you before, ma'am, Envy took at least one of his notebooks with him – and there's been no ransom note, or anything to indicate a kidnap. And we've just been given reason to believe that..." He cleared his throat.

"What is it?" commanded Dante, furrowing her brow.

"Envy and Wrath didn't just run away. They ran away together…and _from _something. Something in this house."

The change wrought by his words was nothing short of astounding. With a spark of dark lightning, Dante drew herself up to her full seated height, red silk dress falling into straight lines around her as her face set into angry lines.

"You _dare_ suggest -!"

Hughes was having none of it. He sat up just as straight as she did, but remained relaxed, steady blue gaze piercing through the glass of his lenses and into her eyes.

"Yes, I dare, Dante Angevin. Those boys are scared of something. Somebody is giving them a reason to _fear _returning. I don't know if that person is you, your husband, your son or one of your daughters." Hughes's hands moved slightly, a change in posture unremarkable to most and terribly important to those who had the knowledge to understand; from clasped and balanced between his knees, to one on each knee. It was the posture of a man prepared to rise; prepared to strike. "But believe me, I intend to find out."

"Leave. Now." Her voice was clipped and cold, but also…afraid?

Hughes didn't stop. "What happened when your daughter got sick, Dante?"

"Lust's indiscretions are hardly my fault, and to throw that in my face –"

"I don't intend to. My heart goes out to her. But that's not what I'm asking." His hands tightened on his knees. "What I'm asking is what happened. I've gone over everything. Before she got sick, no one cared about the other Angevins. She was the star. Now the children are all over the tabloids – _despite_ the fact that Greed is a mess, and the younger three are nothing spectacular. What are you doing to your children?"

Havoc watched the exchange, mouth hanging slightly open. He'd known his boss was a genius, but this…

"You haven't starred in a blockbuster for over seven years. Your husband is an extreme conservative in a country renowned for being liberal. What are you willing to do to keep your limelight?"

"I've asked you already," said Dante in a low, forbidding voice, "to leave. Now I'm telling you. Leave my house, at once."

Hughes got to his feet, almost too fast. "I will find your sons, Dante Angevin…but not for you."

The chilling glare that the matriarch gave them would haunt Havoc's nightmares for a long time…and he would have lots of them once the day was done.

There was a figure leaning by the car when they exited the house, and Havoc shaded his eyes against the sunlight. "Oy, get away from there!"

Greed closed his cellphone and rubbed his face, wiping away what looked suspiciously like tears. _Probably got dumped, _thought Havoc rather uncharitably – he'd been on the receiving end of that a couple too many times to take some overgrown teen's lovelorn heart seriously anymore.

"Yeah, sorry," murmured the twenty-year-old, slipping his phone into his pocket and stepping away from the car. Havoc slid into the driver's seat, and Hughes was about to follow him, when Greed laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait!"

Hughes turned. "Yes?"

But he'd reconsidered, pulling back his hand and lowering his head. "N-never mind. Just…" He looked up, eyes red and watery. "When you find En and Wrath…tell 'em I love 'em, kay?"

Hughes smiled. "You'll be able to tell them that yourself."

"Maybe. But…Little monster and wildling. That's what I called them. I still call them," he corrected, sticking his hands into his pockets. For someone so tall and imposing, he was remarkably vulnerable right now. "I've got names for everybody…Sloth's princess, and Lust's…" He chuckled sadly. "Lust's Xena."

"We'll tell them. Don't worry." Hughes gave Greed a little salute. "Take care of yourself." Greed's words were more than a little foreboding – he didn't want Envy and Wrath coming home to a suicide.

With that, Hughes slid into the car and closed the door. With a sputter, the engine came to life, and as the police car drove away, Greed began to cry again.

He was no stranger to regret.

But _god, _he hated it.

* * *

><p>"Julia," said Kimblee with a hint of mockery. "Lovely to see you again."<p>

Envy didn't waste any words – instead, he grabbed Kimbley's white (always white!) collar and pulled him around the corner. Not even checking that they were alone, he smothered the senior with a kiss.

A moment later, Kimbley pulled away, one eyebrow raised. "I _thought _you were playing hard-to-get."

"My name's not Julia." The words tumbled out suddenly, without any real thought. "And you know me. You know exactly who I am and you've known me for a long time."

Kimbley's grin vanished. "What?"

"My name's not Julia." His cheeks began to grow warm as the hard part came. "It's Envy."

"What? Oh come on. Somebody put you up to this. Envy's been missing for _months._" Kimbley leant down for another kiss.

Envy stepped away. He let the voice drop. "My freshman year, your sophomore year – Grade 9 for me, grade 10 for you. You were in the library. I was reading a book you wanted. You hit on me because you thought I was a girl. I corrected you. I embarrassed you. You started picking on me soon after." He grinned twistedly. "Nice to know I'm still convincing. And that you can fall for the same thing twice."

The look on Kimbley's face couldn't be accurately described in words, although Envy _knew _he'd be replicating it (or trying to) in his journal with lines later. "What – you – you – you fucking son of a bitch faggot!"

Envy was gone before Kimbley could take the first swing, dashing down the corridor and laughing like a madman. He _was _a madman.

It would all be over soon.

So there was no point. No point.

He should get his fun in now. Because – because –

The police were going to send him back to _that house. _And after the freedom, the happiness, the _joy, _he wouldn't. He'd rather die before he spent another night under the same roof as Greed.

So he would.

No pills this time. He'd just run until he ran out of road to run on. Straight off the edge of a cliff. Or maybe off a bridge. Or maybe into a bonfire, or into a knife.

"Get BACK here!"

_Oh, the disadvantages of long hair…_he somehow had time to think before he was flung into the locker by his hair. Kimbley stood over him, a handful of green strands clenched in his fist – and then he was being pulled up by his shirt.

He laughed weakly. "Back to this as always, Zolf, babe?"

"You think it's funny?" he spat, eyes burning with a strange kind of hatred. "Embarrassing me – using me – like that?"

"Lemme see…yup!" Envy couldn't help it. Julia was a foxtail, burrowed too deep to really remove on demand anymore. "I think it's fair payment for beating the shit outta me every day for looking like a girl."

"Then you should have stopped being a spoiled little shit and _fought back!_" Kimbley slammed him against the metal again, making his teeth rattle in his skull. "Not set your little trap like a fucking _snake!"_

With a sickening crunch of realization, Envy realized that he'd been _wrong. _Not 'oopsy-daisy' wrong, but horribly, misguidedly wrong.

"I'm sorry –" he began to say, but a knee to the crotch shut him up quickly, making him squeeze his eyes shut as his vision went white for a moment.

"I'll _make _you sorry, you messed-up little fairy -!"

_Okay, I fucked up. Doesn't make Kimbley any less of a psycho, _thought Envy drily, working through the pain. Sometimes he wished he really _was _a girl. They seemed to have it nice and easy.

"Zolf Jeremiah Kimbley! Step away from that girl right this minute!"

_Oh thank the bloody heavens. Finally a teacher steps in…that's…who is that? Can't concentrate. Mustang. Of course._

His vision cleared – as Kimbley stepped aside. _Oh. That's why. So I'm not blind. That's good._

However, his view was still blurry. He could see Ed, and Mustang, and someone who he guessed must be Ling.

"No excuses this time, Kimbley. To the principal's office, now!"

"He tricked me! He fucking tricked me –"

"NOW."

Ed knelt in front of him. "E – Julia, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…can I lie down for a class? Or two?" He chuckled. "Or fifty? Man, I forgot how much this sucked."

Ed laid a hand carefully on his head, and Envy let a sound almost like a purr. _Oh god, did I really just do that?...Eh, who the hell cares._

"Elric, come with me. We'll get her to the nurses' office."

"What about me –"

"Go to class, Yao. She'll be fine."

With a sigh, Ling left, and Envy let Ed lift him carefully, mind still reeling.

_I let him think I was a girl. I let him think I was Julia and I was interested in him. He's a straight man and I tricked him. He shouldn't have beaten me for it…but I still tricked him._

* * *

><p>Roy Mustang examined the unconscious form of the Hispanic girl carefully, eyes never lingering too long on any one part. "Edward," he said carefully, "Zolf said that he tricked him. <em>He.<em>"

"It's…nothing. I don't really know. Julia doesn't like to talk about it."

Roy raised an eyebrow, dark eyes disbelieving. "Edward. Tell me who Julia is."

He took a deep breath. "I think you can figure that out."

Roy exhaled, eyes growing even darker than usual. "Envy. I should have known."

* * *

><p>Envy woke up about two hours later, head much clearer. "Whew. That feels much better. Ed?" He looked around, and then at the clock on the wall. "Oh." It was two minutes to the bell.<p>

"Eh, I'll get going, then. Beat Ed home for a change." It would be their last evening together. Maybe they could do something special.

He got to his feet, wavering slightly and steadying himself with one hand on the bed. "There we go."

He made it out of the school just as the bell rang.

"Yes!" He pumped the air. "Beat the crowd."

* * *

><p>"Okay, bastard, I'm here." Ed strolled into the room, trying to stay pissed off. But Mustang had been <em>so good <em>about Envy…there had to be a catch. But he was just so glad that he'd understood…

* * *

><p>Elysia <em>never <em>skipped school.

Ever.

Or, at least, according to her old man, she didn't. Which is why when Hughes saw his darling daughter out on the street fifteen minutes before the bell was due to ring, he _demanded _that Havoc pull over for a moment.

"Elysia Hughes!"

He was satisfied to see her flinch in embarrassment.

"Hi, Dad."

* * *

><p>The last person Envy wanted to see was Elysia Hughes, so his first impulse when he saw her up the sidewalk was to cross the street.<p>

However, something held his attention – a blinking red light where it shouldn't be.

* * *

><p>"Ed," said Mustang slowly, "we need to talk."<p>

* * *

><p>"Elysiaaaa," said Hughes in the perfect whiny-Dad voice, "don't you have…SCHOOL?" He upped the volume on the last one.<p>

"Uh, uh, uh…" She settled for shrugging and grinning sheepishly. "I won't do it again?"

* * *

><p>It was under the carriage of the car, steady and bright.<p>

Envy frowned. It was a police car, and he didn't know what they were normally like, but he knew enough about cars from Greed to know that there wasn't supposed to be a light there. Let alone a blinking one.

* * *

><p>"Talk? Talk about what?" Ed sat down across from Mustang, the tension that had been building all day reaching fever pitch.<p>

* * *

><p>"You better not, young lady."<p>

Elysia sighed. "I won't, Dad." She wasn't about to explain that she'd been nervous – about another _girl._

He leant out of the window, and lowered his glasses. "Are you _suuuure?"_

* * *

><p>A horrible feeling swept over him, and Envy began to run – <em>towards <em>Elysia and the police car. He could see the man leaning out of the window now.

Maes Hughes.

Her father.

* * *

><p>"This…" Mustang swallowed. "This has gone too far."<p>

"What has?"

"The police. Envy. Everything." Mustang unclasped his hands. "Us."

* * *

><p>"GET DOWN! ELYSIA, GET DOWN!"<p>

Elysia and Maes turned towards the voice, and she rolled her eyes. "Oh god, it's that Julia girl again –"

* * *

><p>"Us?" Ed gripped the side of the chair, knuckles going white.<p>

"Yes. You _know _this is illegal. This could send me to jail, or at least ruin my career forever."

* * *

><p>Envy was nearly sobbing. The light was blinking faster.<p>

"GET DOWN! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ELLIE, GET DOWN! GET AWAY FROM THE CAR!"

* * *

><p>Havoc heard the screaming. He got partially out of the car to see what was going on.<p>

"Boss, what's that?"

* * *

><p>"So you're breaking up with me."<p>

* * *

><p>Envy reached them and grabbed Elysia's arm.<p>

"Get off of me, you weirdo –"

* * *

><p>"Yes."<p>

* * *

><p>The police car – and Elysia's world – burst into flames.<p>

But she didn't see it. What she saw was a warm body above her, and a face she hadn't seen up close before.

"Envy?"


	22. Inerasable Sin

**Oh dear god. I left the _insert shit about bombs_ part in. Oops. Sorry about that XD Anyway, has been betaed by luverly YukinoKara (who pointed out above mistake).**

**Jamsthebestestfoodever: Thank you! I was hoping the POV changes weren't too confusing – and I hope your heart's okay. Sorry. I love leaving people hanging, and this is one of the few places in the story where I can actually legitimately do that. X3**

**LineaArlis: Chapter 13: Really? That's…wow! I like this chapter too, but I'm surprised that it's the one that stayed with you. Although I do think it marks where my writing started improving. And Ling is…Ling XD**

** Chapter 15: Ooh, wow, didn't think this chapter had any fans (considering the noticeable lack of sexy boys). No, no one's said that until now, so thank you! You're the first! And I don't know why I had the idea to make them all sisters but I'm glad it works **

** Chapter 16: Pff, it's got nothing to do with you, I'm in love with the world I've created and I'm not done playing with it yet XD Oh god, don't copy Ling. Ling is…no. Don't talk like him. Have fun in London though, I used to live there and it's pretty awesome. Ed-Envy reconciliation: oh thank goodness, I was so worried about that. I thought it was kind of cheesy but…apparently not? Yay!**

** Chapter 17: Yay, somebody appreciates this chapter 3 It's my favourite, mostly because Lust and Greed were SO SO SO awesome before shit went down. I'm sorry I broke your heart (no I'm not).**

** Chapter 19: Oh, and Russelling isn't cracky at all, I suppose? And I feel for you – 13 to 21 in one go must have been murder, and the ending was rather unfortunate as well XD**

** Chapter 21: Is febrile a word? And…I'M SO SORRY XD Please don't die on me, I've already killed enough people with this chapter.**

** I'm happy you're back, I've missed your vaguely-incoherent reviews and enthusiasm. Thanks for reading, reviewing and sticking with this craziness ^^**

**xThisSentenceIsFalsex: I aim only to please~ and to torture you all with angst and cliffhangers~**

**Master of the Hellish Yard: You forgot to sign in, but halfway through your review I was going "I know who this is…"**

** Greed's tears were hard for me to write, I kept getting sad as well :P And Ed is a tired bunny most of the time, poor kid to be sleep-deprived at a time like this!**

** Yay, somebody likes Wrath's chapter ^^ He makes me so saaaaaad D:**

** Thank you for reviewing! I like monster reviews :D**

**Yaya-Suki: Yup yup yup. Shit be going DOWWWWN.**

** I haven't had a chance to play with Olivier yet in this story, so this chapter was fun to write! I tried to keep her characterization as on the nose as possible, although I don't know how well I did. (She doesn't have her sword! It doesn't feel right without her sword!) Oh, and fair warning: RizaxHavoc is now one of the official pairings for this story, although they won't get much spotlight.**

**Part 4**

**Risu (Fracture)**

**Chapter 22**

**Inerasable Sin**

Tap. Tap. Tap.

That damn tapping was going to drive him _nuts._

"Shut up, old man."

Hohenheim obliged, flattening his hand on the table. The tapping didn't stop. With an irritated growl, Ed realized it was his own fingers drumming on the wood. He withdrew his hand and clenched it in his lap.

God, he was so fucking tired.

He glanced over at Wrath and Al. Even though they were the same age, Al was almost a head taller than the other, and the black-haired boy was currently sleeping in the crook of Al's arm, eyelids flickering every now and again. Every now and again he'd whimper slightly, and Al would stroke the back of his head until he calmed down again.

There was no doubting where Trisha Elric's genes had gone. And Ed…Ed had gotten all of the bastard's traits.

Ed looked up at the clock. Ten fucking o'clock, and after the day he'd had. Wrath had the right idea.

* * *

><p><strong>TWO HOURS EARLIER<strong>

Olivier Armstrong steepled her fingers, peering over them with an icy cold gaze. "What on earth _possessed _you?"

Envy was silent, as he had been for the last two hours. Only his eyes seemed alive, glowing with adolescent defiance.

She glanced up slightly at the black glass that covered most of one wall. Hawkeye was on the other side, watching them. Watching her.

"Envy," she said, keeping her voice as level as possible, "I understand why you may have run away from home. Being a teenager is tough." She would know – she'd spent her teenage years in a gang. That was actually how she'd first met Riza Rockbell, although the quiet girl who lived with her boyfriend's dealer hadn't attracted her attention in any way.

He didn't respond.

"But if there's a problem, you need to tell somebody instead of running off. A lot of people were worried about you." Not entirely a lie. His siblings had seemed concerned enough. "And running away may have caused more problems."

Envy still remained as still as a statue. Olivier began to despair of getting response. She was tempted to use her usual method, but Riza had been very clear that a 'bad cop' wasn't going to get anything out of the boy.

"If you want to go the sweet routine," she'd argued, "why the hell don't you do it?"

"Because he knows me. He'll be more on guard around me than around you."

Olivier sighed, although inwardly, and tried again. "You need to tell me why you ran away, and why you didn't come to us. It's very important." God, she sounded like she was talking to a six-year-old. Then again, he was sixteen. All kids looked the same to her.

Again, nothing.

Her temper flared, and she got to her feet. "Look, brat, a good officer is dead and another is on his way. And they died while working on your stupid case. Right now, all I see is another entitled rich kid who didn't get his way." She planted her hands on the table and leant over. "Now _tell me _why I should think differently."

He looked up at her, mouth twisted and bandaged hands clasped into tight fists. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the doorknob turn. _Lovely. Hawkeye's coming to intervene._

"You wouldn't understand," he said finally. The doorknob stopped, and the door remained closed.

With a slight smirk, Olivier sat down, crossing her arms. She'd gotten words out of him. So much for Hawkeye's 'bad cop' theory.

"Try me."

He sighed, tucking a stray lock of dyed hair behind his ear. It was an effeminate gesture, most likely borne out of his time as 'Julia'. It was interesting how many of the quirks he kept – or perhaps, had already had?

He glanced up, defiance fading in favour of simple wariness. "How much do I need to tell you?" His voice was quiet, low, and deeper than Olivier had expected. It was still a tenor, but definitely not a girl's voice.

"As much as you feel you need to. Or can."

He exhaled again. The room was silent again for a moment, and then he spoke – almost a murmur. "We didn't run away because we didn't get our way. That's not what it was about." He slouched terribly, she noted, with his hair hanging in front of his face. "There were…things happening…we…"

Olivier shifted awkwardly. _Damn that woman and her perceptiveness._

"I had to get out, I had to get _Wrath _out…" Envy's voice broke, and he fell silent for a moment, collecting himself. "It wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't sick," he finally said, voice heavy with the guilt of confession. "Don't…don't tell her I said that…"

"I won't." Unlike anything else she'd said so far, Olivier honestly meant it. She hadn't given a lot of thought to how the older sister's sickness – Lust, was it? – would have affected her brothers, but now that she mulled it over, it made sense. "So you were being abused." She tried to sound kind, but it wasn't a sound her voice was used to making.

Envy flinched as if her words were stones. Then, he gave a subdued, almost-imperceptible nod. Something caught the light, and the back of Olivier's neck prickled slightly as she realized that Envy's cheeks were wet.

_This should be Hughes, _she realized with a sickening thud. _I can't do this, I can't deal with a crying kid. I get to intimidate the gangbangers and thugs, and scare confessions out of tight-lipped bastards. Hughes would know what to do. But Hughes…isn't here._

So she'd just have to do her best.

"Chin up, boy," she commanded, and couldn't help a little thrill of pleasure when he obeyed, carefully wiping the two tears he'd shed from his face. "Can you tell me who it was in your family giving you problems?"

Envy bit his lip. "I…I would rather not, if it's all the same to you, ma'am."

"Sir," she corrected. "I'm no more ma'am than you are – less, in fact."

He, shockingly enough, let out a quiet laugh at that. "Fair."

"Here's the deal. We can't do a goddamned thing unless you tell us details. You're – how old?"

"Seventeen. Wrath is thirteen – fourteen in August."

"Okay, so you can do whatever you like. But Wrath is going to have to go home. He's still a legal minor, and you can't take care of him until you're eighteen." Olivier tapped her finger on the table. "However, we also need to find out who planted that IED. So what I want from you, Envy, is to tell us everything you did since running away."

Envy's pale cheeks bloomed pink. "E-everything, ma – er, sir?"

Olivier almost slapped her forehead, but refrained in the name of professionalism. "Within reason, boy."

Envy's blush only increased, but he nodded. "I…I can do that."

"Excellent." She slid a pen and piece of paper over to him. "Let's get started."

* * *

><p><strong>THREE HOURS LATER<strong>

It was eleven o'clock by the time that Envy stumbled out of the door of the interrogation room, trying to stifle a yawn. "Hey Ed."

Ed raised a hand in greeting. He'd resorted to standing up and leaning against the wall to stop from passing out, but even with that it was a tough slog. "So what's the deal, En?"

He shrugged, and mouthed, _Tell you later. _Then, he caught sight of Hohenheim, who was contently dozing with his feet on the coffee table he'd been tapping on earlier and his hands laced over his stomach. "M-Mr. Elric?"

Ed rolled his eyes. "His name's not Elric, it's Hohenheim. Oy! Bastard! Wake up!" He kicked at Hohenheim's foot, which was somehow enough to knock him off the chair. The older man tumbled to the floor with a yelp, and then sat up, straightening his glasses and peering at Envy.

"Oh, hello. Have I seen you somewhere before?"

Envy scratched the back of his head, trying to figure out how to explain. "Well, uh, y'see –"

"Ignore him, he knows, he's just being a jerk. Can we go?" asked Ed, rather rudely.

Olivier nodded. "Just give me a moment." She knelt down in front of Wrath, who was blearily awakening.

"Wrath – it is Wrath, right?"

He blinked, and nodded. "Yeah, that's me."

She smiled, trying for warmth. "I'm Olivier Armstrong." She scanned the boy's face, trying to make sense of what she saw. "I just wanted to say that…" _How do I word this kind of thing? _"If you have anything to tell us – if you're having any problems – you can talk to me. Me, or Riza Rockbell. I promise, we'll listen to you."

Wrath nodded, and Olivier smiled, patting his shoulder as she straightened. "You're free to go for now – I'll call you, Mr. Hohenheim, about the results."

Envy raised an eyebrow in Ed's direction. Ed snorted, muttering something about 'stupid legalities and guardians and shit'.

Hohenheim clapped a hand onto Ed's shoulder as they walked out of the building. "Don't be like that, Ed. It's probably a good idea for me to be home for a while after today's events, don't you think?"

Ed merely grumbled some more. Al chuckled, although not without audible apprehension.

Envy dropped behind, sticking his hands in the pockets of the jeans he'd borrowed from Ed (they were a bit short in the leg, but he wasn't about to tell him that) and looking down at Wrath. "You alright?"

Wrath glanced up at him from under his thick hair – even short, it was a tangled disaster. "I'm…sleepy."

Envy laughed. "Aren't we all?" The laugh, however, was hollow.

The charade had come to an end. Which meant, so had the dream.

* * *

><p>Envy sat on his bed, examining his hands. They were encircled with bandages, and he winced as he flexed them. His back was the same, slathered with burn salve and wrapped so tightly that it hurt to move too quickly.<p>

_An inch closer, _they'd said. _An inch closer and you'd be in here for a week at least._

His clothes, in all senses of the word, had been toast. But he'd escaped with minor burns and bruises.

And he'd saved Elysia's life.

He closed his eyes, but then opened them again. They still stung from the smoke. His ears rang from the explosion – for about an hour and a half he hadn't been able to hear a thing, medics and nurses and doctors rushing about, mouths motoring up and down silently.

His head ached terribly.

Envy slowly eased himself down onto the bed, face-down. What a fucking terrible day. It was hard to believe that it was only that morning that he'd sat across from Riza Rockbell and the other – Havoc, he thought his name was – and struggled to keep his secret.

Well, it was out now. No more Julia.

He couldn't quite decide whether he'd miss her.

Suddenly, his heart leapt into his throat. Olivier had said that one of the officers was dead.

He'd seen Havoc's blond mop just before he'd swept Elysia to the ground.

He'd seen Hughes long before that.

_Who had died?_

He heard footsteps outside of his door, and called out, "Ed?"

The door creaked open, but it wasn't Ed – rather, his brother. "Sorry, it's me."

"Oh. I…" Envy swallowed. "The police officers. What happened?"

Al frowned, entering the room and closing the door. He sat down by Envy, who tried to sit up, but the younger Elric pushed him gently back down.

"Which ones?"

"The ones in the…the car." He prickled all over. Stupid burns.

"Ah." Al bit at his thumb nervously, and used his other hand to rub at his eyes. "Um…Mr. Hughes…Mr. Hughes is…he's dead."

Envy's world suddenly turned black-and-white, and suddenly he could hear Elysia screaming again.

He heard Al telling him that Mr. Havoc was at the hospital in a coma, but it came from a million miles away.

Elysia's dad was dead.

_And it was his fault._

"I'll let you sleep," said Al quietly, and Envy merely buried his face into the pillow. Only once the door clicked shut did he let out a muffled scream into the feathers.

* * *

><p>Riza touched Havoc's hand, afraid it would be cold – but it was warm, warm and alive, even if it was unmoving.<p>

"How bad is it?" she asked the nurse who was currently changing the IV bag. She hadn't moved from his side since he'd been brought in, with the exception of the surgery to remove the shrapnel.

A bombing. Jean Havoc, Constable of the Ottawa Police Force, had been caught in a _bombing. _This wasn't something that happened in Ottawa. Bombings were things that happened in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in far-off places to people she _didn't know._

"He's in bad shape, but the doctor believes he'll make it."

"Thank God," Riza whispered without really knowing why, releasing a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. Except she _did _know – _I can't lose anybody else. I can't. First Mum and Dad, then Martel, now Hughes…Dear God, if you exist, leave me Jean. Please._

The nurse paused, and then placed her hand gently over Riza's own, making her jump. "There's been some rather…severe damage?"

"Damage?" she parroted, not fully understanding – and then her eyes went to the bottom half of the bed, where the sheets seemed strangely flat –

"His legs," Riza whispered. "Oh god, his legs."

* * *

><p>Even if it was a school day, it was noon before anybody under the age of twenty in the Elric house stirred.<p>

Hohenheim looked up from the couch where he'd parked himself as his oldest son hobbled into the room, scratching his belly button and blinking blearily. "Morning, Edward."

Edward looked up at him, squinting. "G'damnit, yer still 'ere?"

"Afraid so, son."

"Was hopin' y' were a bad dream." Ed walked over to the coffee table and picked up Hohenheim's mug, taking a big slurp as he made his way to the kitchen – then gagging.

"The fuck is in this?"

Hohenheim grinned. "Chocolate, hot sauce and garlic."

Ed's jaw dropped open. "In _coffee?" _At his father's nod, he plonked the mug back down. "You're messed up."

"It woke you up, didn't it?"

Ed flipped him the bird rather than give him the satisfaction of being right.

* * *

><p>Hohenheim watched the three teens currently talking over the dinner table, not quite feeling welcome enough to join them. He was still trying to reconcile himself to what had happened while he'd been away.<p>

Fact One: Ed and Al had invited two _other _teenage boys to live with them. This on its own really wasn't so abnormal. He supposed he would have done much the same at his age.

Fact Two: These teenage boys had then hidden from the police…by disguising themselves as teenage girls. This was a bit harder to process.

Fact Three: It had been Ed's idea. This one was just about impossible to wrap his head around. True, he hadn't been around much, but Ed was…Ed. He was about as manly as a kid could get while still being short and nerdy. Hohenheim had had to break up enough fights between the boys during their childhood (and with other kids, as well) to know that Ed was hardly the type to be picking out dresses and bras.

Fact Four: These teenage boys – Envy and Wrath – were somehow in deep enough shit that a bomb had been set off in the neighbourhood. Sadly enough, this one made the most sense to him.

And finally, Fact Five: His boys needed him, and he'd been a real crapsack of a father.

Hohenheim shifted in the armchair, sinking further into the pillows with something that was almost a pout. _That _fact he didn't quite feel like facing yet.

He glanced at the stairs. Envy still hadn't woken up yet – he was the one who'd been caught in the explosion. He wondered how the kid must be feeling. From what he'd heard, he'd been the most invested in everything.

* * *

><p>Envy Angevin was by no stretch of the imagination asleep. He was thinking, deciding, pontificating, and all sorts of other lovely words which all boiled down to the same thing: he was going to do something incredibly stupid.<p>

Still wincing as the bandages rubbed at his burns, he surveyed the pile he'd made on the bed. It was small – just a pile of clothes. Some were his Julia clothes (although the false bra he discarded), while on top were the clothes he'd worn on the night he'd fled from home. The second bottle of green dye Al had bought for him was there, and his notebook, of course.

"I'm an idiot." With a sweeping gesture, he threw everything back onto the ground. He plucked the notebook from the floor and searched the room for a pen – finding one, he leant back on the pillows with a slight groan.

His head hurt so much – so much that wanted to get out.

A sketch of Hohenheim, full beard flecked with hints of grey and eyes the same as Ed's – except the fire dimmer, gentler, older.

A sketch of Olivier, cold and fierce, a lioness ready to pounce. After some thought, he put a sword at her hip.

A sketch of Riza Rockbell, first how he'd used to know her with short-cropped hair, and then the older her with long hair pinned up behind in the shape of a hawk's tail.

A sketch of Jean Havoc – the police officer who was now lying in a hospital bed somewhere _because of him._

A sketch of Elysia Hughes, pigtails loosened but not quite undone – she'd screamed and cried in front of the inferno _because of him._

Maes Hughes. The man who was dead because of him. How had he died? Had the explosion just blown him into bits? Had the fire burnt him to death? Had shrapnel pierced some vital organ and forced him to bleed out, listening to his daughter scream?

His pen shook, ruining the drawing, but he finished it anyway. He'd been sketching for three hours straight now but he couldn't stop.

How had all of this started? How had he gotten himself into this goddamn mess? He should have kept his mouth shut, just endured it, instead of dragging everybody else in and getting Hughes _killed _–

-and let Wrath go through hell every night?

"Fuck," he whispered, "why is everything so hard?"

Wrath. His brother, his little brother, his _wonderful fantastic genius _little brother. He deserved so, so much more.

He drew him, although his lines weren't as straight as they could have been. But he didn't draw him happy – as much as he wanted to. He drew everything he saw and wished he didn't – the darkness, the sadness, the cynicism that a thirteen-year-old shouldn't possess.

He drew Lust, the way she should have been, the way she should be.

He drew Sloth, beautiful and cold as a Greek goddess, holding the world in her hands.

And he drew Greed, glaring out the page at him the way the photograph had stared him down before.

It was getting dark when he finally laid down the notebook and pen. His hands ached almost unbearably, and his eyes burned. He hadn't even realized he'd been crying.

But he knew – he _knew _– that there really was no other way.

* * *

><p><em>"Have you found my son yet?" <em>The voice over the phone was just as demanding as Dante Angevin always was, and Olivier was happy for the freedom to roll her eyes.

"No, ma'am, I'm afraid not." The lie rolled easily off of her tongue, so easily that it took her a moment to realize she'd done it.

The line was quiet for a moment, static buzzing. _"You disappoint me, Armstrong. I thought your family was renowned for their successes."_

Olivier bit back a retort that had something to do with Angevins, donkeys, coal and diamonds, and merely said in the coolest voice she could, "We're doing the best we can, ma'am. Please have patience."

She glanced up at Riza and Miles, who were trading glances. Emory Miles was the head forensic scientist, and the only one Olivier could stand working with. After finally managing to get Dante off of the phone, she hung up with considerable force and glared at them.

"Don't give me that look, you two. We all know where Hughes and Havoc were coming from – and if the Angevins are the type to set off a bomb in a residential neighbourhood, I'm sure as hell not sending two kids back to them if I can help it."

Riza smiled. "You do know you're breaking the rules." It was a tease more than a warning, and Olivier harrumphed.

"I don't give two figs for the rules, Hawkeye. Now shut up and let Miles tell me about the bomb."

Miles nodded, although she could see the ghost of a smile around the corners of his usually-stern mouth. "You were right about it being an IED, but the materials are pretty pure."

"So homemade, but not cheap."

"Exactly. Which means –"

"Somebody with a lot of cash to blow –"

"Wanted to make sure that this couldn't be tracked back to them."

Olivier smirked. "That rules out jihadists with nothing to lose –"

" – and makes either a personal vendetta or something similar far more likely. Also, the targets –"

" –two police officers –"

" – mean that it was no crime of opportunity, plus the only thing to be gained –"

" –is silence."

Miles adjusted his round sunglasses. "Which makes our prime suspects –"

"- Dante and Theophrastus Angevin."

Riza rubbed her temples. "The two of you are scary. How come you aren't an officer, Miles?"

He shrugged. "I like my lab. I'll warn you, though, Armstrong, the feds are going to muscle in on this soon."

She pursed her lips. "Soon, yes. If I don't solve it first."

* * *

><p>Ed hadn't heard from Envy all day, but he'd seemed to be sleeping the few times he'd knocked at his door. He supposed it was important for him to rest, but he could only survive being a third wheel to Al and Wrath while trying to ignore his father for so long.<p>

He opened the door just a crack. "Hey, En, you feeling okay?" With a frown, he opened it the rest of the way.

Envy was sitting on his bed, legs apart and elbows resting on his knees. His head was resting gently on his clasped hands. It was a position of prayer.

A moment later, Ed saw the backpack by his feet.

"En?" He tried not to let his voice crack – he was the _strong _one, dammit.

Envy looked up, the deer-in-headlights look coming back. "Shit…hey." He grinned crookedly and hollowly. "Sorry you haven't seen much of me today."

"The hell is that?" Ed's voice was tight, more air than sound.

Envy looked down, and then kicked at the backpack with a chuckle. "Just about everything left I own in this world, I guess. Except this," he held up the notebook, "but I've only got one page left in it."

"No." Ed shook his head. "No, no, no, don't be a fucking dumbass, Envy."

"I'm not." Envy pushed down on his legs and got to his feet. He looked so relaxed, so carefree – he'd never seen him like this. "This is probably the smartest thing I've ever done."

Ed slammed the door behind him. "_I said no,_" he growled. "You are not doing this to me."

"To you?" Envy sounded honestly surprised. "Listen, Ed…" Pain wove itself into his words. "Hughes is dead. Because of me."

"It wasn't your goddamn fault –"

"Shut up." Envy picked at the bandages on his hands. "Yesterday…yesterday was the first time I've ever run _towards _something. I've spent my entire fucking life running."

"And you're doing the same thing now if you l-leave!" Ed bit his lip, cursing himself for the stutter. _You're the strong one, Elric._

Envy chuckled, shaking his head, still so, so calm. "Listen. Just…listen. I can't take care of Wrath and get myself sorted out and get Greed arrested and all that shit at once. I can't do it – I _want _to, but it's just…it's not gonna happen. I'm a mess. Don't look at me like that, Ed, you know it's true."

Envy took Ed's hands, although his grip was loose and gentle, the fabric of the bandages rasping against the callused pads of his palms. "Can you…can you take care of him? Please? Just…" He gulped. "I know it's a lot to ask, but it's basically what you've been doing the last while anyway. And it'll be less of strain now your dad's home –"

"-hopefully not for long –"

" –and I'm gone."

Ed shook his head stubbornly. "Stop _saying _that."

"Only when it stops being true. I'm _leaving, _Ed."

"And going where?" His voice lifted on its own, from a dreary murmur to almost a shout. "Where the hell are you going?"

To his horror, Envy shrugged with a slight smile. "I'll figure it out as I go along, I guess."

"No, no, no, NO, you fucking RETARD!" Ed squeezed his eyes shut, calling up the words from memory. "_What do butterflies dream of_ – that's what you're gonna do, isn't it?"

He felt Envy's hands freeze in his. "That's – oh, you _bastard,_" hissed the teenager. "_That's _where my poem went?"

"Yes, you idiot!" Ed was very tempted to slap him right now. "And you are not! Going! **Anywhere**!"

Envy snatched his hands away and clasped either side of Ed's face, kissing him fiercely, with almost enough force to bruise.

"If I wanted somebody to tell me what I can and can't do," whispered Envy in the sudden separation a heartbeat and a half later, "I would have stayed in _that_ house."

Then he was gone, sweeping past Ed and through the door, and Ed was touching his lips lightly and wondering how he ever, _ever_ thought he understood Envy Angevin.


	23. Broken Toys

**Betaed now ^^**

**Jeez, I think this might be the darkest chapter I've ever written.**

**In happier news though, OMG THE BUDDYTIME! Parental!HohoxWrath is the excellentest. *Maes-face***

**Fairyboydammit: Your review…it made me cry with happy…I definitely strive to do more with the high school setting than most, so you wouldn't believe how much it means to me that it's worked. I've actually been working on developing some OCs to replace the canon characters, so I'm so happy you think it could be published :D **

** Chapter 20: I've been close friends with enough abuse victims to get an idea of what it's like, and paired with watching too much SVU, that's where I got my ideas for Wrath. I honestly love writing him since he's so, so complex – writing anything with him in it is kind of like picking through a minefield. I'm glad it rings true! Thanks for reviewing~**

**Ikarai: I thought I had mentioned it or at least implied it (it'll be coming up again soon anyway) but Envy and Wrath just don't really want to talk about it. They're scared that they won't be believed, that Dante and Theophrastus will just bring their considerable power to bear – but mostly it's fear and the sense that's been instilled in them not to cause waves.**

** As for the bomb, you will see. **

**Master of the Hellish Yard: At risk of sounding ridiculous re: Wrath and Al: I KNOWW! It's so sweeeet 3 In my original draft (Seven Reasons) Al was bi with a crush on Wrath, but I think this is better.**

** Poor Olivier. Riza stuck her with the worst possible job XD I'm glad I characterized her well, she's one of the most memorable characters of the series. Yeah, Al is in the same grade as Elysia and Wrath, but not in the same class. I really haven't mentioned that much, have I? **

** I wish Ed and Hoho were my characters, I love them so much! I think they're some of the few characters I've aced on the first try. (Mostly because I'm like Ed and Envy's love child from hell :P)**

** I understand exhaustion all too well T-T And Hoho just seems like the type for bizarro coffee. I've had an absolute blast writing him, so it's good that he's been captured ^^ Miles was fun as well, I was going to introduce him earlier but there wasn't any room. And I've fixed that now _ YukinoKara pointed that out while betaing, and I'd already posted a version… **

** I wish I could draw like Envy! Sadly I can't. I can write like him, though~ (Obviously. Since I write all his poems.)**

** And yes, he's being a royal idiot. It'll be quite the ride, though. Hold on tight, and thanks for reviewing!**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: Bwahaha your disappointment was palpable. "OH MY GOD THEY FINALLY KISSED AFTER TWENTY-TWO FRACKING CHAPTERS AAAaaaand he's gone. Well. Dayum." XD Thanks for stopping by! Haven't seen you in a while~**

**Part 4: Risu (Fracture)**

**Chapter 23**

**Broken Toys**

Of course, Envy's stomach started rumbling the moment after his wonderful, grand departure, so before leaving the house, he stopped by the kitchen – only to be transfixed by a pair of insistent purple eyes.

"You're leaving?"

Envy gulped. "Yeah."

"Why?" Wrath's eyes were accusing, but not sad the way Ed's had been.

"Because…because…" Envy swallowed again, his mouth horribly dry. Wrath was so _small. _Not innocent – Greed had made sure of that – but still a child. Thirteen years old.

"Is it because you don't want to take care of me anymore?"

"No!" The reply was almost too quick, realized Envy, and he grasped Wrath's shoulders. "That's _not _why – I – I just…"

"Stop trying to sugar-coat it. Whatever it is, I want to know."

He sighed. "Someone _died _because of me. Because of…" _Us. _"This."

Wrath lowered his eyes, staring at the tiles at his feet. "Oh."

"Ed and Al, and Mr. Hohenheim too – they're gonna make sure you're safe." Envy's grip tightened. "You are _never _going back there. I promise."

"How can you promise that? You're _leaving," _spat Wrath bitterly.

"I – because – because I just _do."_

"I still don't get it! Why do you have to go?" The thirteen-year-old's voice went from angry to plaintive, and the hurt engraved on his face was like a spear in Envy's chest.

_Goddammit. I really do care about him. _And then Envy realized where he was going wrong.

He pulled up a chair and sat down, moving his grip from Wrath's shoulders to one of his small hands, holding it as lightly as he could. "I…Wrath, I'm…I'm not okay." He'd admitted it in a round-about fashion to Ed, but this was different.

"Then get a doctor to look at you!"

Envy shook his head. "Not like that." Seeing the panicked look, he backpedalled. "Not like Lust either. I'm just…a little messed up." Honouring Wrath's request not to 'sugar-coat' it, he barrelled on. "We both are."

"Because of Greed." There was the hard, flat look in his eyes again, the one that appeared whenever he talked about their elder brother. "But…then, shouldn't we both leave if that's why?"

"It's a bit different." Envy hesitated, trying to figure out how to explain it – or rather, what it was, but once again Wrath beat him to the punch.

"He got into your head. He just…hurt me."

Envy blinked, shocked, and then grinned despite himself. "You got it, wildling." A beat later, he bit his lip, cursing himself for the nickname that slipped out.

Wrath had suddenly retreated, bowing his head so that his curtain of hair covered his face again. They were both silent, although Envy didn't release his hand.

_Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, WORTHLESS idiot. Can't even…that's what Greed always called him, same way I was the little monster and Sloth was the princess…Stupid, stupid, stupid…_

"Envy…if I…" Wrath sounded on the verge of tears, and Envy continued to curse himself roundly, wondering if there was anything he _hadn't _fucked up in the last two days. Or ever.

The younger boy's head snapped up. "I-if you stay, I'll do whatever you want!" His attempt at resolve did nothing to disguise the naked fear that gave away _exactly _what he meant.

Envy couldn't do anything for a moment, rooted to the spot in complete and utter horror. "You…anything I…anything I want?"

Wrath nodded fiercely, although the tears had already started quietly streaming from his eyes. "Th-the girls at school say there are ways to m-m-make it hurt less and-and-and…I don't want you to go! I love you!"

Envy fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around Wrath's shoulders, holding him closer than he ever had. He could feel his brother's heartbeat against his own chest, beating at a furious, jackrabbit pace. He could feel how he was taking quick, shallow breaths.

He buried his face into Wrath's hair, inhaling and exhaling in an attempt to stop the _rage _that was welling up in his stomach. It was a new feeling. He hated Greed – had for a long time – and he'd been sad for himself, and he'd been sad for Wrath.

But he'd never quite realized how deep the cracks went.

"You – you thought I would…" He took another deep breath. "I would _never…_Wrath, if there's anything you want to swear your life by, anything you should have the faith in even if the world comes apart at the seams, _no matter what…_I would _never._"

Slowly, hesitantly, Wrath's arms came up and returned the embrace. His small body still shook, but he leant into Envy now instead of the other way around. "Pinky swear?" he murmured.

"Every finger on my goddamn hands swear," countered the elder. "My toes, too."

"But…you're still leaving?"

Envy leant slightly away, and smiled as gently as he could up at Wrath. "Here's my second promise – I'm _coming back._"

The tear-stained face before him suddenly lit up, and Envy pressed his forehead against his brother's with a smile of his own. "I'll probably get hungry and be back at some point."

Wrath pouted, although there was no true sadness in it, and held up his pinky. "You have to pinky swear. You have to be back when I start high school."

"Next autumn? I can do that." Envy clasped his pinky with Wrath's. "Pinky swear."

"Okey-dokey."

Envy got to his feet and gave Wrath's head one last pat and ruffle before making his way to the front door. Passing the staircase, he caught a glimpse of gold, and he rolled his eyes. Ed had been watching from the steps.

He opened the door and stepped out into the night, taking a deep breath of fresh air before hefting the bag further onto his shoulders and continuing on,

It was time to grow up.

* * *

><p>Ed made his shaky way down the steps, reaching for the door handle. It had closed only seconds ago – he wouldn't be too late to stop him.<p>

Except someone stopped _him _first.

"Al," he gritted, "let go of me."

Al shook his head. "Let _him _go. You'll only make things worse if you try to drag him back."

"Shut up! You don't know anything!"

Al grabbed both of his brother's wrists, forcing him to face his (annoyingly) taller sibling. "Don't I, Ed? You're not the only one who's been living here, you know. You're not the only one who's miserable that Envy's leaving. You, however, are the only one who was in love with him."

Ed stared up at Al in shock, but rather than deny it, he slumped back against the door. After a moment, he walked away, scaling the stairs two at a time.

Wrath couldn't see his face, but he supposed it was rather a good thing.

* * *

><p>Ed slammed the bathroom door behind him, trying to quell the sick, empty feeling in his gut.<p>

Envy had left.

Envy had just…just _walked away._

After kissing him.

Envy was _gone._

His gorge rose, but he swallowed it down. He wasn't going to take the sissies' way this time. It wouldn't make him feel better. Hell, it hadn't worked the night that Envy had called him 'unnatural', so he'd definitely need something stronger now.

Ed started slightly when he thought about what Envy had said before, and about the constant insistence that he was straight. And what had just happened. He chuckled, although there was no humour in it. "Fuckin' figures. Stupid…fucked-up…closet cases…"

He looked up into the mirror, and growled when he saw tears welling at his eyes, rubbing them away before they had the chance to fall. "I'm _not going to be weak this time._" He'd sworn to protect his brother. He'd failed. He'd sworn to protect Envy.

And he'd failed.

"I can't…fucking…get anything right…" He was so dizzy, so nauseous, but he knew how to fix it.

He pulled his knife out of his pocket and flicked it open, letting his eyes slide along the edge. It was _gorgeous. _There was nothing quite like a sharpened blade.

-except long hair, sometimes green, sometimes blond –

-except an elfin face, sometimes streaked with tears (he was beautiful then), sometimes split into a cheeky, slightly-mocking grin (he was beautiful then), sometimes sneering with that slight pride (he was beautiful then), sometimes mortified by some filthy joke (he was beautiful then) or rolling his eyes at the same joke in a different mood (he was beautiful then).

The first slice hurt. It wasn't a deep one, about an inch below his wrist, but the blood came readily, welling up in a slow, viscous flood that dripped into the sink, red blooming on the white porcelain and tricking down the drain.

(Al would be so angry.)

How the hell had it happened? He'd known about the crush, he hadn't known about the complete and utter obsession that was lurking in the recesses of his mind. Then again, he was the crazy one.

The second one didn't hurt nearly as much – the pain was overwhelmed by the release. Everything from the last two days – Roy breaking up with him (why hadn't he cared more?), Hughes's death (why hadn't Ed done something?), Kimbley beating the shit out of Envy (why hadn't he protected Envy like he'd promised?), Ling and Russell (he didn't need them, though, not in the way he _needed _Envy, needed to be needed by that mournful, lost boy without a home) and _Envy, fuck, Envy come home._

The third was pure release. The pain was nothing but a distant memory, and Ed allowed himself to take it slowly, dragging the blade through the tender flesh of his upper arm. After ten or eleven, he'd probably forget about Envy.

Ha. He wished.

"Edward, that's enough!" A hand clasped over his, pulling the blade away, and his first instinct was to lash out at the person behind him, _kill kill kill make THEM bleed, blood is blood is BLOOD, _but they held his wrists tight no matter how _his _blood stained _their _hands.

"Ed," murmured Al. "Enough."

And sanity returned in small gasps and starts. The knife fell from Ed's hand, clattering like a crash of thunder on the porcelain.

"A-Al…" he stammered weakly, before he lost all strength in his legs and fell forward. His bleeding forearms crashed onto the porcelain, wrenching forth his first sob, and the dam gave way. Tears dripped and poured into the sink as he screamed and cried in turn, mingling with the blood to paint the white sink a rosy hue.

"WHY, DAMMIT? Why – why – WHY IS EVERYBODY ALWAYS FUCKING LEAVING?"

Al loosened his grip on Ed's wrists, wrapping one arm around his waist and gently guiding him towards the toilet. Lowering the seat, he sat him down and, fishing supplies out of the cupboard above Ed's head, knelt in front of him.

"I'm not going anywhere, Ed." He poured some antiseptic onto the cotton wad and began to clean the deepest of the cuts – the one on his upper arm.

Ed wiped at his eyes. "I –" He choked again, and squeezed his eyes shut. "I know that, it's just…and I've already left you once! What if I do it again?'

Al kept his voice calm and soothing, smiling slightly with his hazel eyes cast up to his brother. "It wasn't your fault. And if you ever do again, I'll be fine."

"But…" Ed swallowed, wishing he could stop the tears pouring down his face. "But…"

Al pulled out the bandages and began to wind them around the cut. "But nothing." Somehow he knew just how tight was too tight. _Of course he does – it's not like he hasn't done this before. _"You don't have to protect everyone…brother." The childhood nickname brought a glimmer of a smile to Ed's face.

"But I _promised_. I was gonna protect him, and Wrath, the same way I protect you."

"And you did." Al tucked the bandage in and pinned it in place, then began to clean the second gash. "But now it's time for Envy to walk his own path for a while."

"His…own path?"

Al nodded. The antiseptic was beginning to sting as the adrenaline from cutting faded. "You can't protect him forever. Same way that you can't protect me forever."

That one earned a frown. "But –"

"That's enough buts from you." Al was rolling out the bandages again. He was still smiling, looking so much like their mother that it hurt – but in the way that brought back happy memories as well as painful ones. "One day you'll have to say goodbye to me, too."

"Never!"

"Never?" Al's eyes were questioning, but not accusing or forceful. "What about university? Or are you planning on following me wherever I go?"

"I…" Ed slumped, defeated. "I don't know."

"Exactly. Goodbyes don't have to be sad. It's the same thing with Envy. He'll come back. You heard him promise – and besides, of course he will." Al's smile widened. "He cares a lot about you, and you care a lot about him."

The corner of Ed's mouth twitched in what could be called a smile. "Dunno about the first part, but the second part…yeah."

"So you have to let him go. Let him spread his wings a bit. He needs it. And…" Al began to clean the third. "So do you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ed tried to sound indignant, but it didn't quite work.

"It means that you don't do anything halfway. When you fall in love with someone, you do it heart and soul and mind. You wrap everything you are around them and expect them to do the same. And when they don't –" Al indicated the cut. " –you fall apart."

"Oh – oh really? Name the last time I was in _love _with someone."

Al didn't look up. "Ling."

Ed exhaled so quickly he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. "Oh. I wasn't – I didn't – that was for two months!"

"Yes, and it took you a yearto get over it. Not that you ever let on."

"Yeah, well – name somebody else!"

"I don't need to," said Al with the confidence of someone who knows that they have already won.

Ed slumped. "So you're saying being – I mean, liking Envy is a shitty thing right now."

"I'm saying, you _both _are in terrible states." Al shrugged. "A lot of people think a relationship is about two parts making a whole…but the way I see it, it's better to be wholes first."

"How'd you get so smart?"

"I dunno. Must be all the brainpower I'm not putting into school," joked Al as he finished off the bandage. "There we go." He looked up. "Feeling better, Ed?"

Ed stopped for a moment, and then nodded, although he was still shaky. "S-seven and a half months. And you gotta admit, that was a _hell _of a trigger."

"I know. I'm not mad."

"I love you."

"Love you too." Al rose to his feet, and once again Ed was reminded of Trisha.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Al blinked. "We haven't done that since I was five."

"And definitely not since I came out. Sorry. Shoulda known it would be awkward." Ed rubbed his thumbs together, but Al chuckled lightly.

"That wasn't a _no, _dummy. But if you wet the bed again, I'll never forgive you."

"I WAS EIGHT, DAMMIT!"

* * *

><p>"It's hard to believe we're the same age sometimes," commented Wrath, kicking his legs off the edge of the back deck. When Hohenheim gave him a strange, sceptical look, he laughed and shook his head. "Not <em>you, <em>Al."

"Oh, I see. Funny, I thought you were younger," said the older man, sucking on his pipe and disregarding the boy's savage look.

"I'm _thirteen! _Why is that so hard for people to realize?"

Hohenheim shrugged. "Because you're the size of a bean with Tarzan hair. That's my guess, anyway."

Wrath stuck out his tongue. Truth was, he liked the Elric father. He didn't condescend to him like most adults did, and he didn't walk on eggshells like Envy, Ed and Al sometimes did. There was the unfortunate resemblance to his father, ("purely coincidental, I assure you. I know my family tree and I know Theophrastus Angevin's, and luckily enough there is no relation.") but that was soon forgotten in their easy camaraderie.

"But as for Al…" Hohenheim sighed. "He's far too old for his age. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a rank failure as a father –"

"Don't say that!" he burst out, and then bit his lip in embarrassment at Hohenheim's amused gaze. "I mean…you seem pretty good to me, that's all."

"I'm flattered, but the fact that you and your brother have been nesting here without me knowing betrays that I'm quite frequently absent – as my elder son has been quite vigorously reminding me." Hohenheim rubbed his head awkwardly.

"How come?"

He chuckled. "You're direct, aren't you? Well, direct questions deserve direct answers. To most people I'd say it's my job that takes me places, but the truth is I just love to travel."

Wrath cocked his head. "So you just leave your family behind?"

"Ah – er –" Hohenheim ducked his head. "Like I said. I'm a crappy father. Now quit being so blunt before you leave bruises."

He was pleasantly surprised when the teenager began to laugh right away. "That was terrible, Mister."

"Oh, just call me Van."

"Van?" Wrath made an odd sound that sounded like a 'snrk'. "And people say I have a shitty name."

"Lay off, kid." Hohenheim wrapped an arm around Wrath and hugged him close to his side with a grin.

After a moment of panic, Wrath exhaled and closed his eyes. Hohenheim was warm, he was friendly and most of all…he just felt _safe._

_ **That's what you think.**_

Behind his eyelids, Wrath rolled his eyes. _How'd I know you'd be making an appearance?_

_ **Kid, you think I go anywhere? I'm just here to remind you that everybody is a sexual being – and you, wildling, are like the main attraction at a theme park. Everybody wants a ride.**_

_Oh, shut up. I'm sick of your shit._

_ **Excuse me?**_

_You heard me. Envy loves me. And he would NEVER. He promised._

_ **Oh really? And what are promises really worth in this kind of world?**_

"Excuse me," murmured Wrath as he disengaged himself, trying to slink away.

"Headed off to bed, then?"

Wrath looked back at Hohen – Van. His glasses shone with moonlight, and for a moment, he was an intimidating figure. Then he moved his head, the moonlight faded, and he was Van again. Everything his father should have been.

"Yeah," he said, plastering on a smile. "Been a weird day."

"I'll say. Well, sleep well. See you tomorrow, kiddo."

As Wrath stepped through the porch door, Hohenheim flopped back onto the deckboards. "A weird day, indeed." He seemed to have found a third son, purely by chance.

Maybe he could do a better job with this one.

"Sorry about our boys, Trisha," he murmured, setting his pipe aside and folding his arms behind his head. "But I'm back for good now, that's a promise."

From the window (open, but apparently Wrath hadn't noticed that) came a spluttered curse. The words drifted down, perfectly audible even if they were quiet.

"_I don't care who the fuck you are, you are going to leave me alone! Envy loves me and you never did, so shut the hell up and go back to wherever you came from!"_

Hohenheim raised his eyebrow. Everybody was fighting their battles tonight – and as he stared out into the horizon, feeling the familiar tug, he was no exception.

"Not this time," he murmured. Everybody had battles to fight, but the important thing was that they were fought, instead of surrendered like he'd done one too many times.

He closed his eyes. A few minutes later, the noises from Wrath's room had subsided. _A truce._

Quiet settled on the Elric home. It was past midnight now, and Hohenheim wondered where Envy had gotten to.

He quickly pulled his thoughts away. That was Envy's battle.


	24. Deceivers and Fools

**Betaed version :) (Thank you YukinoKara!)**

**For anyone who hasn't read it yet, I've posted an AU oneshot that tells the story of what would have happened if Envy had died in Chapter 3. Be warned though…it's, predictably, even more depressing than this story already is.**

**Also, this story's gonna start jumping around for POVs a lot. There's a lot of threads happening at the same time, so I'm sorry if you get confused. This chapter is happening roughly the same time as the second half as the last chapter (so from about Envy's departure to the end) so it's about 7-10 pm.**

**Finally some Ling and Russell! Obviously they're a very different couple from Envy and Ed, and Wrath and Elysia haven't even really gotten going yet, but they're interesting to write in their own way.**

**Mrsbenedictcumberbatch: I've been told so but I don't believe it myself *modestface* (And if you don't believe me, I dare you to read NejiChan. Your eyes will bleed.) AUs are my favourite to write for specifically that reason; trying to keep everybody in character even in drastically different situations. I like psychology (as made blatantly obvious by everything in this fic) so it's really, really fun. And yes! Go read it all! There's a lot of it :B And check out Hero, too, it's not actually Edvy but it has lots of Envy in it XD Thanks for reviewing, love!**

**Yaya-Suki: Glad you're enjoying things as always ^^ And trust me, there's more to come! Thanks for reviewing~**

**Ashling Ivy: I'd apologize but I'm sincerely unapologetic XD 'lithe rampage' I know it's probably a typo but I like it! And trust me, I'm not going anywhere. I'm a stubborn little bitch and I'm just as invested in this story as you guys are. Except the difference is I know how it ends *devilhorns***

**Eliza Loves Yaoi: I wouldn't say he's 'getting over them' but he's definitely fighting back. And don't be too hard on Envy, he's a teenager and he thinks he's doing the right thing. **

**Master of the Hellish Yard: *GIANT PUPPY EYES OF SWEETNESS* Are you serious? That's awesome! That's beyond awesome, that's amazing! Oh maaaan~ I'm trying to self-publish a book of poetry, I'm starting to think I should use this site to market it XD **

** I'm ecstatic that you liked that scene, it's one that's been lurking in the back of my mind since the beginning of part 2 and I was worried I hadn't done it justice. And have some faith in Envy! He's the GOOD brother.**

** It…it happens…*shifty eyes* I was proud of the Ed and Al scene~ I don't usually write them, and Al's only had a minor role in everything, but things just kind of worked out that way. I was listening to 'Brat'ja' over and over again for this chapter, unsurprisingly. That and 'Constant Craving'.**

** You've never heard Hoho before? Usually it's 'Hoho-papa'. And yeah, sorry, I've fixed that with the betaed version. And…marriage? Getting a little ahead of ourselves, are we? They just had their first kiss!**

** I like your description. And I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thank you for another monster review~**

**iamazoroark: Your reviews (all three of them) have been...perplexingly entertaining to say the least XD Happy you took the time even for a small comment though. I like to think the first was simply you being struck dumb by my sheer amounts of awesome *strikes a pose*. And I wouldn't call myself a fan of Naruto - I like the characters, but the plot isn't my cup of tea. Kakashi is badass though. Hope to hear some more from you, thanks for reading! **

**What-is-the-color-of-love: Glad you did, thanks for reviewing ^^**

**Part 4: Risu (Fracture)**

**Chapter 24**

**Deceivers and Fools**

The next time Ling played 'Never Have I Ever', he was going to bring up 'had a conversation through a door' and see if anyone but him said yes. He sincerely doubted anyone would – except perhaps the other half of the current conversation.

"Piss. _Off,_" came the peeved-sounding and undeniably British voice from the other side of the equally-undeniably closed door.

Ling banged his head against said door. "Not til you tell me _why! _How am I supposed to make amends and shit if you won't tell me what I did! _Kuso, _you're like a freaking woman –"

Something smacked furiously against the door from the other side. Ling jerked back, rubbing his head. "Oww! I don't _think _I deserved that…"

"Yes, you did."

"Okay, why are you pissed off? Explain this. In small words."

"You _lied to me._"

Ling grinned sheepishly, even though Russell couldn't see it. "Not…not _directly…_"

"Okay, you kept a secret. A pretty damn _big _one."

"I had to!"

"Dammit, Ling!" Something pounded against the door again. "Don't you think I was worried about him, too?"

Ling slumped back onto the ground. "I knew you were worried."

"Then next thing I know – oops! Envy's been there the whole goddamn time!" He was punching the door, Ling realized. _Well, better the door than me. Thank you, door._

"Look, I wasn't supposed to know either. I only did because I showed up there drunk while they were still figuring the whole thing out."

Russell laughed bitterly. "Yeah, _sure, _except Ed would have told you anyway, cause you bastards share everything."

"Sorry, what? Where'd you get that idea, _baka?_"

"Don't. Start. You two've been friends since you were born, and what am I? Just the new guy – even after two goddamn years, I'm still the new one!"

Ling sat up, resting his back against the door. "And what about Envy?"

"Envy and Ed are like the most perfect fucking couple ever, and you've been screwing around with him too, apparently! So no, Envy somehow is _not _the new guy, and I still am." Russell was silent for a moment, and then in a quiet voice, he added, "It's been two years and I still want to go home."

* * *

><p>Envy Angevin was well and truly lost, and he wasn't quite sure he liked it. One thing he knew – he definitely wasn't in Kansas anymore.<p>

"Mechanicsburg? Rideau? Lowertown?" he mused out loud. Honestly, he couldn't tell. He'd just walked while staring at his feet and figured he'd end up somewhere or other.

He gave the offending feet a glare. _I'm never trusting you again._

With a sigh, he turned slowly in a circle, trying to decide which way to go. _Building…building…building, building, building FACE_

He blinked. The girl blinked back, and her face split in a huge smile.

Envy took a step back and wiggled his fingers. _Hi, _he thought, but didn't say it out loud, his typical shyness returning in full force. _Been a long time since I've needed to talk to a stranger._

She did the same, mirroring his actions almost exactly.

He cocked his head. She did the same.

Envy looked her up and down, trying to ignore that she was copying him. She was small, almost pixie-like in a white, long-sleeved nightgown that billowed out around her bare legs. Her feet were bare too, with a braided and beaded anklet dangling loosely on one thin ankle.

He brought his gaze back up to her face, which was round and friendly, if a little vacant. It was brown-skinned, with two wide-set dark eyes and framed with badly-dyed pink bangs.

_Odd girl. Wonder if she's lost._

She reached forward and took a handful of his hair. He froze at the gesture, wondering if she was going to rip it out – but instead she rubbed it in her hands, her mouth slightly parted and eyes glowing. Slowly, glancing up at Envy, she stuck out her tongue and placed the lock of Envy's hair on it.

"Mm!" She closed her eyes, and then opened them again and grinned. Dropping the lock of hair, she grabbed Envy's arm and began to tug him along.

_Whoa, what?_ He pulled back, but she didn't let go. Looking back, she gave him a mock glare, although the sparkle in her eyes softened it.

With a sigh, Envy let the girl with the pink bangs lead him at a run through the streets.

* * *

><p>The phone rang, and using one hand to keep her configuration of gears in place, Winry picked it up and wedged it between her shoulder and ear. "Hello?"<p>

_"Winry, dear! How are you?"_

The gears fell, forgotten, as Winry grabbed the phone to keep it from falling. "P-Pinako?"

_"In the flesh, Winry – well, not really, I suppose. Now, how are you?"_

"I-I'm great, really, I –"

_"Hmph. I only asked to see what you'd say. Now tell me the truth – what the hell have you and that damnfool sister of yours gotten yourself into?_"

Winry glanced at the door. It had been dark for a while and Riza still wasn't home. "I'm not entirely sure. How much do you know?"

"_How much do I know? It's all over the news! Two police officers caught in bomb blast, possibly connected with the disappearance of celebrity's teenage children." _Pinako paused. _"One of those missing kids…he was Martel's boyfriend, wasn't he?_"

"Y-yeah…"

_"Well, that settles it."_

"Settles what?" Winry was only half-listening, still watching the door. Riza would be back soon. Right?

_"I'm coming for my overdue visit. I should be there by tomorrow night. The couch will be fine. See you then!"_

"W-wait, hold on –"

Click.

Winry sighed, although she was smiling. She'd missed the old lady. She'd lucked out, especially compared to her sisters – after two days in a group home, she'd been sent to the house of a crabby, pint-sized old lady with weird hair, a pipe and a fondness for mechanics. She'd been eight at the time, and still wondering when her parents were going to come to pick her up.

Pinako hadn't spared her anything. "Your parents are dead, love."

"No, they're not, they're just on a trip! They went to New York, and they're gonna come back and take me home."

Pinako had given her a pitying look then, and walked into the house. "Want some cinnamon buns? They're made fresh, and next time you can make them."

That night, Pinako had explained 9/11 to Winry, and made her hot chocolate to cry into. She'd explained every facet of the foster care system, and that Riza and Martel weren't old enough to take care of themselves yet either. They'd made plans – together, not just Pinako telling Winry what would happen – to go to Toronto.

Winry felt guilty every time Riza or Martel mentioned, even in passing (which was usually the only way they did) the way their lives had worked out. They'd ended up with terrible people. Riza had been practically an indentured servant to a druglord, and Martel would carry her scars forever. The way Martel had treated her, calling her a 'spoiled princess' didn't help. For the first few weeks after Riza adopted them and brought them home, Winry had cried into her pillow and wished to go back to her _real _home, with Auntie Pinako.

Things had changed, however, when Martel and Envy had started dating. She was still homesick, but Martel had eased up – possibly self-conscious of the fact that she was dating a movie-star's son and calling her sister spoiled.

Winry chuckled out loud slightly at that. 'Possibly' wasn't the word for it – Riza had pointed it out rather, well, pointedly. She had a way of doing that.

Her chuckle, however, faded to a sigh. She couldn't believe she'd ever _wanted _to leave her family now. Especially after –

"I'm home," came the weary voice.

"Riza! I was starting to get worried!" Winry hugged her tightly, keeping her greasy hands away from her uniform. "You should have called," she reprimanded, waggling a dirty finger at her.

"Yeah…" Riza rubbed her eyes.

Winry lowered her finger. "What's wrong?"

"Let me sit down. It's been a long day." Stepping back, Winry could see it in the slump of her shoulders and the way she was only smiling on one side of her face. It was odd what you noticed in someone you loved.

Riza took a few weary steps across the room and collapsed onto the sofa, her limbs folding in on themselves like a puppet with severed strings. She looked up at Winry, and with a start, the nineteen-year-old noticed that the older woman's eyes were red and puffy.

"You've…have you been crying?"

Slowly, she nodded. "I…don't know how to tell you this."

"Don't spare me." Winry sat down, setting her jaw in preparation. "I want to know. I need to know." Quietly, trying not to betray her nervousness, she added, "Is it about Martel?"

Riza nodded again. "I went over her file for the first time."

"What…what did it say?"

She buried her face in her hands, but her voice still rang out, sharp as broken glass. "The _bastard _fucked up. That or he was bribed."

"The... The man who handled the case?"

_"Mis_handled." Riza dragged her hands down her face, streaking sweat and tears across her already red cheeks. "He had all the evidence there – enough to at least get a few leads, which he _didn't _follow. He just gathered it all up and left it there to rot."

Winry felt very cold. She swallowed. "Riza, what did the file say?"

Riza stood up suddenly and buried her hands in her hair. "_She was raped!_" she screamed, kicking at the coffee table. It fell onto its side with a crash, shattering the two glasses that had been perched on top of it.

She fell to her knees. "My little sister was raped and murdered, and that son of bitch did _nothing."_

* * *

><p>After a moment, Ling got to his feet and pushed against the door. It had some give, so he pushed a little harder – after a moment, Russell moved away and the door opened.<p>

The Tringham boy sat on the ground, arms around his knees and looking rather like someone with a recently deceased pet. He didn't look at Ling – instead, he looked pointedly away.

"Do you really hate it here so much?"

Russell didn't respond. Ling dropped into a crouch in front of him.

"Look, Russ. Kid." That earned him a glare, and he chuckled in return. "You look like a pouty little kid right now, _mabui-chan. _Yeah. Ed and I are close."

"Like brothers, right?"

Ling sucked in his lips. "Uh. No."

The exasperated look on Russell's face would have been _hilarious _in a different situation. _Curse you, Kodak, for not being around when I need you! _thought Ling, before refocusing.

"For _god's _sakes, is there anybody in this _city _you haven't _screwed _–"

Biting back his usual snarky response (which was harder than he thought it would be), Ling cut him off with a different reply. "Hey, hey, hey, no. Ed was different."

"Then why the _hell –_" spat Russell, "aren't you off with him now? And – jesus Christ, more goddamn secrets? First you're all like I wanna be with you! I wanna be your boyfriend! And then it's just one fucking lie after another –"

"This. Is. Different." Ling grabbed Russell's cheek and made him face him. "There are exactly three people that know that Ed and I dated. It lasted two months, Russell, and it ended badly. Really, really badly. It was right before you moved here. He'd been out of the hospital for less than a year." Ling sighed, looked away for a moment and then back at Russell. "I fucked up, Russ. I fucked up really, really badly. He came out to me, he was freaking out because he'd figured it out back in the ward, and I jumped right into it because I'd known about myself since I could walk and I was desperate to try."

Russell's eyes were wide. "Did you –"

"No. Far's I know, he's still a virgin." Ling suddenly opened his eyes fully, and Russell started backwards a little. "But I still took advantage of my best friend. And that," he poked Russell's chest, hard, "is why I don't – like – relationships." He punctuated each word with another jab. "See why I had such a hard time with you now?"

"I – I suppose…then why bother with me at all?" The petulance was gone – Russell just sounded honestly curious now, if sad.

Ling blinked, sighed and smiled, shaking his head. "Because I was stupid and fell in love with you." He looked up and laughed slightly. "Hah. I was wondering what the look on your stupid face would be. _Okashii wa."_ He got to his feet, straightening his black dress shirt.

"You…I…" Russell turned a deep shade of beetroot-red, and buried his face in his arms, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Ling chuckled again. "God, you're cute when you're flustered." He waited a few beats, and then asked, "Why do you let people tell you to be weak?"

"Huh?" Russell looked up, blush subsiding but still obvious.

"I'm gonna be kind of frank here. You might get mad. But what I don't get is…you never go for anything. You always just sit back and wait for it to come to you."

"W-well, I guess I…" Russell trailed off, and then settled with just shrugging.

"Who told you you couldn't just take what you wanted? I mean, there's being forthright then there's being a _dick – _I'm a perfect example of the latter – but you never reach. You never grab. You never _fight._"

Russell narrowed his eyes. "Give me an example where it would have worked."

Ling grinned, and leant down slightly, bending his knee in what was almost a bow. "Well, you coulda stopped trying to make me jealous and just told me what you wanted."

He opened his mouth, and closed it again after a moment, unable to find a rebuttal. Instead, he settled on a scowl.

"Anyway. I'd better get going." Ling took a few steps towards the door, and then swivelled back around. "Oh, yes. Russell."

"Yeah?"

"I won't keep any more secrets from you. But it's not my fault if you don't always like what you hear."

When Russell didn't respond, Ling left. Once he was gone, however, Russell let go of his knees, collapsing onto his back with a 'whumpf'.

He was asleep before five minutes had passed.

* * *

><p>Sloth heard her doorknob rattling before she heard Greed's voice. "Oy, why've you got this locked?...When'd you <em>get <em>a lock?"

Glad that he couldn't see her sly smile, she replied coolly, "Yesterday. After the police car blew up." She paused. "En route from our house."

Greed was silent for a moment, and then rattled the knob again. "Let me in, dammit!"

"I think not."

"Why the hell not?" He was slurring his words slightly – he might have been tipsy, but if he wasn't trying to pound the door down, he wasn't drunk.

She made her way to the door and opened it an inch – just enough to make eye contact with him. "I know what happened."

He froze, purple eyes widening and his pupils shrinking to pinpricks. "Whatcher talking about?" he said with a nervous laugh.

"I know what happened to her, and I know what happened yesterday. And if you touch me ever again, everybody will. If you stay away from me, it will stay secret for a little while longer." She allowed herself to smile primly – just before she slammed the door in his face and locked it securely.

Sloth slept well that night for the first time in years.


	25. After Midnight

**Betaed now! Review replies below~ (There's a ton. Sorry.)**

**ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN REVIEWS. SHIIIIT SON :D**

**New characters, new characters everywhere! I know it's a bit late in the game to be bringing them in, but if Hiromu Arakawa can introduce new characters as late as Briggs and such, I can keep feeding in characters halfway through _ (This is actually officially the halfway point, or as close as a 49-chap story will get, so coolio there!) Problem is I have almost twice as many characters, since I'm using both canons as well as other animes, books, webcomics and suchlike for cameos.**

**Alex Murphy is borrowed from KhaosKomix, completely without permission. But you should go read it because Tab is a god.**

**The song referenced and used here is 'Master of the House' from Les Misérables, which is getting its own movie soon! :D Warning: There will be a TON of Les Miz jokes coming up. I know I shouldn't be so esoteric but my characters are who they are. And Envy is Envy. XD**

**Master of the Hellish Yard: Ya, poor Russell :( It's partly his own fault, though - you may have noticed he's a little standoffish. I did have to resist the temptation D: Actually, Russell's asleep in his own room and Ling's the one outside. I did a really bad job of explaining exactly where they were, but it becomes more obvious in this chapter - they're at Russell's house, hence Russ telling Ling to piss off. I so want to do what you said now though D: I wanna do more with the Yaos TwT**

**Rose is...a little frightening, yes. She'll grow on you. Hopefully. I'm glad you like Pinako! The older people being good is awesome, if kind of weird. I thought you were supposed to write what you know XD And...sounds like Sloth. :D**

**Eliza Loves Yaoi: Bahaha. I wrote it then sat back and cackled for a bit, because I have done exactly that countless times. Honestly, I don't think SNEA quite counts as an angst-fic. It's definitely got heavy heapings of angst, but I think it's more drama because of the humour and romance and all the other stuff. Pinako's an easy one to write, because she doesn't have a big ole angsty backstory or anything. She's just a funny badass old woman. And good thing you like Russell/Ling because guess what, there's a ton next chapter. And it gets steamy. (I have birthed a new crack pairing.)**

**iamazoroark: I have so much to say to you, I will start with the most exciting. YOU ARE MY HUNDREDTH REVIEWER ZERMERGERD. Which meeeans you get a speshul gift oneshot about anything FMA-related you want. 3 Ling is a fave character of mine, so I'm glad you like him. Making people cry is a favourite pastime of mine (sorry for making you cry though XD) The dress is pretty cute, a bit too flouncy for Envy though. Envy's a bit sleeker - and he's taller than Ciel so there we go. I think you've commented on just about every chapter - good job, Pikachu XD**

**Ikarai: Bahaha. Getting protective? And I'm not going to clarify the exact nature of that just yet. And Rose...that will come clear. Yes, she's really weird. We've had a shortage of real freaks in this story so far XD**

**LucyLiu71958: Grr. Tempted not to reply to any of your reviews until you get an easier username to type out. Anyway. Yes, that is the Kakashi from Naruto, although as it is an AU, it's not *the* Kakashi exactly. Or maybe it is. You never know.**

**And don't jump to conclusions! We're not done the story yet~ And kind of. He was in a psych ward for a while before he was moved to an institution, which is an entire building dedicated to mental patients whereas a ward is only a section of a hospital. And don't worry, I don't plan on stopping any time soon. I know how it ends, and I want to see everyone's reactions XD (SPOILER: Envy and Roy get married, Wrath becomes a veterinarian, Ed turns straight and Lust grows wings and becomes a bluebird.)**

**Yaya-Suki: I know, right? He is Greedy though, it does make sense. Kind of. And yeah, she is kinda weird.**

**Thank you everybody for reviewing! The next chapter should be up soon~**

**Part 4: Risu (Fracture)**

**Chapter 25**

**After Midnight**

In retrospect, Envy really shouldn't have let a possibly-crazy barefoot girl lead him around. The results were…less than promising. Those results specifically being him standing at the entrance to a loud bar and staring up at a very, _very _scary looking bouncer.

He raised his hand. "Hi," he managed to say meekly.

The bouncer narrowed his eyes. "You with Rose?"

"Huh?" Envy looked at the girl, and then back at the bouncer. He was six foot six _easily, _with a mane of silver hair and some of the most impressive sideburns Envy had ever seen. And that was _including _his father.

"Her." The bouncer indicated the girl. "That's Rose. You with her?"

"Uh. Maybe. I think so." Envy looked down at the grip she still had on his arm. "Apparently."

The bouncer's face split in a grin, and he shook his head. "Did she kidnap you? Sorry about that. Go ahead."

Envy blinked. "Uh – er – aren't you going to –"

The bouncer held up one gigantic hand. "Don't ask, don't tell. Just don't get yourself into trouble." Before Envy could protest that he had no intention of even staying long enough for that, he was being pulled deeper into the bar – or, as he was starting to realize, club.

The lighting was the first thing that gave it away. It was a flush red that turned whites pink, blues purples, etc – and it was just about impossible to figure out whether the floors were white or actually just pink. The bar itself was a rich purple colour, and currently being occupied by a very, _very _pretty girl.

Envy blinked, for a moment convinced that it was a trick of the eyes. However, it seemed to be a fact that the girl posed on the bar was just about an exact double of the one _still _latched to his arm – Rose, the bouncer had called her.

As he noticed this, he vaguely began to recognize the song playing – or, rather, being performed. The bartender was singing over an instrumental track in a rather fetching baritone while slinging people's drinks, and Envy couldn't stop himself from grinning when he finally put a name to the song. Strangely enough for a bar, it was musical theatre – and it seemed to be fairly popular, he noted wryly as several patrons joined in for the chorus.

"Master of the House! Quick to catch to your eye! Never wants a passerby to pass him by! Servant to the poor, butler to the great, comforter, philosopher and life-long mate! Everybody's boon companion, gives them everything he's got!"

At the last two lines, the singer hopped up onto the bar, hooked his thumbs into his suspenders and belted out, "Dirty buncha geezers, Jesus, what a sorry little lot!"

The music changed, and a thrill went up Envy's spine when he remembered what came next.

The girl who had been lounging on the bar like she belonged there got gracefully to her feet, flicking her hair over her bare shoulders.

"I used to dream that I would meet a prince," she sang in a strong alto, starting to walk down towards the bartender.

"But God Almighty –" she span in a half-pirouette, skirt fanning out, "have you _seen _what's happened since? Master of the House, isn't worth my spit," she trailed her hand over the head of a seated customer, "comforter, philosopher, and life-long _shit!_" Reaching the male singer, she gave him a pretend push on the last word. "Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire, thinks he's quite a _lover, _but_,_" she turned and gave Envy a heated glance, making his face glow bright as a brand before she flicked her hair at the singer and finished the line, "-there's not much there!"

The male singer stepped away as she spread her arms in a gesture of supplication. "What a cruel trick of nature, landed me with such a louse?" She stepped down onto one of the empty bar stools, looking light as air. "God knows how I've lasted, living with this bastard in the house!" She pulled a remarkable false faint, falling neatly into the waiting arms of yet another man whose hands seemed to be…awkwardly placed.

_Where am I? _he wondered as the entire bar joined in with the final chorus. _It's not Heaven, otherwise I'd know a lot more people here. And there'd be way fewer of them. But it's not Hell, because…musical theatre._

Suddenly, he realized Rose was gone, and squeaked nervously. _The one person whose name I actually know and she goes and disappears on me! _He glanced back at the door, considering running. Fast.

"Hey there."

He spun his head back so fast he thought he might have gotten whiplash. "Ahbah?"

It was the girl who'd been performing. She snorted. "Well, you're coherent. Is this your first time here?"

He nodded, unsure if he'd done something wrong, but she only laughed lightly. Rose came from behind her, gently taking Envy's arm again, but the girl shook her head.

"Rose, stop that –" She noticed Envy's expression. "Oh no…" She chuckled, albeit nervously. "Did she drag you here?"

Envy smiled wryly. "Uh…yeah." He glanced back at the bouncer. "I, er, technically shouldn't really…be…_here…_"

She shrugged. "Whatever. Sorry about Rose. Let me buy you a drink."

"Ehwhat?"

"A drink. You know, a liquid in a glass."

He scowled. "I know _that._" And buying a drink meant going over to the bar…the bar where they'd been performing…Hm. Maybe a closer look wouldn't hurt.

"My name's Noah, by the way," she said with a blatantly false flippancy, before walking over to the bar. "And you?" she threw over her shoulder.

"Uh…" _Crap. I have a pretty recognizable first name. And I'm a boy now. And and and I need to learn to work under pressure. _He smiled awkwardly. "Just your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman?"

* * *

><p>Nash Tringham had never gone to college. He'd married at sixteen, roped into it with the story of a pregnancy and the promise of welfare, and had his first child at eighteen. He'd made a vow soon after that his child – his <em>children –<em> were _not _going to make the same mistakes.

Now, watching Ling Yao come down the stairs with an unreadable expression, Nash wondered if it was too late.

"I could hear the two of you bickering all the way down here," he said conversationally, taking a sip of his coffee.

Ling winced at that. "Sorry about that, _ojii-san. _Didn't mean to intrude."

Nash couldn't help a small smile. "One day you'll tell me what that means."

"And lose my dashing air of mystery?" Still, Ling looked discomfited, and Nash indicated the chair across from him.

"Sit down. Tell me what's going on."

Ling ran his fingers through his bangs, flicking them to the side and out of his face. "Are you sure you wanna know?"

"I always want to know what's happening in my son's life, _especially _if he doesn't want to tell me."

Ling twirled his fingers in an uncharacteristic show of awkwardness. "Yeah, but – still –"

Nash shook his head lightly. "I'm not going to judge either you or him – or Ed, for that matter." He stifled the uncommon urge to laugh when Ling looked up with a start, cheeks faintly red.

"_Nani?_" He held up his hands, waving them. "I – I don't know what you're talking about! We don't get into trouble – well, _that _much trouble – I – why are you laughing at me?"

Nash had one hand over his eyes and was chuckling, having given up his struggle. "Well, I don't know about any trouble, but I was referring to the fact that the three of you rather prefer men. Unless you were planning on telling me that your troubles with Russell are completely platonic."

If someone had replaced Ling with a marble statue right at that moment, it would have been very, _very _hard to tell the difference. Only the fact that his face was rapidly turning a deeper and deeper shade of crimson gave it away.

The older man sighed. "Do you really think I didn't know? Russell had a best friend back in Greenwich called Alex, Alex Murphy. I used to walk in on them playing around, wrestling –"

Ling raised an eyebrow.

"They were close, is all I'm saying. Alex moved away when he was six, but still. He went through Clara's magazines and looked at the pictures of the boy bands when he thought I wouldn't notice. He took better care of his clothes than _she _did. And he thought I didn't notice when he came home with bruises."

His approval went up a few notches at the horrified expression on Ling's face. The boy was a bit spoiled, a bit reckless, but his heart was in the right place.

"So…you've known all along?"

"Probably before Russell did."

"What about his mom?"

Nash shrugged. "Clara was too wrapped up in her own little world to think about unimportant things like her sons. Now," he leant slightly over the table, transfixing Ling with his best Papa Bear Glare. "explain exactly _what _is going on between you two. And perhaps I _won't_ get my shotgun out."

"Neh, I know you wouldn't shoot me, _ojii-san._"

"That depends on the next few minutes." Nash's eyes glinted. "Start talking."

* * *

><p>Few people were lucky enough to sleep easy that night, and Roy Mustang was not among them.<p>

_Maes._

_ Ed._

The sheets stuck to his bare chest, sticky with sweat. He'd been tossing and turning for hours now, despite going to bed before ten.

_Maes._

_ Ed._

Divine punishment. That's what this was. He'd taken advantage of a student – abandoned every moral of his profession – and in return his best and only friend had been taken away.

_Maes._

_ Ed._

Or maybe it wasn't that complicated. Maybe he'd just committed the horrid sin of being attracted to a man – a boy – and that was why Maes had been plucked out of his grasp.

Goddammit.

He squeezed his eyes shut, only to open them again with a gasp. The image of the burning car was engraved into the back of his eyelids, where he'd seen it from the school window. He hadn't known yet – hadn't realized – whose grave it was.

_Stop it, you idiot. Stop it, stop it, stop it you are spinning out of control._

Still, he was assaulted with memories. Eleven years old at a military academy, the harum-scarum troublemaker with an unhealthy fondness for fire and the smooth-talking, friendly top student with an equally unhealthy fondness for photography.

Now, eighteen years later, fire was to blame.

_That's enough, Roy Mustang. You're going maudlin._

Fire. Fire didn't weep and wail and bemoan what had passed.

Fire found a way.

Fire _always _found a way.

He took a deep, shuddering breath, and then another before picking up the phone. "Hello, Miss Rockbell?" It was a miracle he'd even gotten the number right.

"_Who is this?_" came the exhausted reply.

"It's Roy Mustang." Beat. "A teacher – from Central High."

_"Ah, I see. You were…You were Maes's friend."_

"Yes." The silence stretched out, underscored by the buzz of the line.

_"It's late to be making calls, Mr. Mustang. Especially to my home number." _The exhaustion dissipated, sharpened to a point. _"What do you want?"_

"Merely to express my sympathies," he lied glibly. He'd always been good at falsehoods, and it had been one of those skills encouraged rather than suppressed during his education. "Maes always spoke well of you."

_"And anything good he might have said about me was tripled for you. By all rights, this phone call should be the other way around. Let's try this again. Why are you calling my house at this time of night?"_

"I happened to be awake. I had every intention of leaving a message, it was just my luck that you were available."

_"You're a smooth talker. Let's get the truth."_

"The truth?" He chuckled, hoping that the darkness of it didn't translate over the line. "The truth is that I would love to get coffee tomorrow. Say, Starbucks at Bank and Hopewell, 2 o'clock?"

_"You can get coffee any time you want, Mr. Mustang. I don't see why you need my permission."_

That earned an honest laugh from him. "Don't make this so difficult. I'd just like to meet as friends."

_"We aren't friends."_

"Acquaintances, then."

She was silent for a moment, but Roy thought he could hear a smile. _"Acquaintances I can live with."_

"So 2 o'clock?"

_"I'll be there. As a friend only," _she added in a strict voice.

"Of course. Sleep well."

_"You too. Good night._"

She hung up first, and he followed suit, starting to lie back down when the phone rung again. Blinking in confusion, Roy picked up the phone again.

_"How did you get my number?_"

He blinked. "Go to _sleep, _Hawkeye." He used the nickname Maes had always used for her by way of answering her question.

_"You even sound like him," _she murmured before hanging up again.

Somehow, it was the most comforting thing she could have said. With a sly smile, Roy curled up and closed his eyes.

It had been a long time since he'd been able to match his wits with someone like Riza Rockbell. Edward was strong, and intelligent (although he had yet to actually apply that intelligence) but he didn't have the patience to battle with words the way Roy liked to.

What Roy _didn't _know (although he had a sneaking suspicion) was that Riza had enjoyed herself just as much as him.

* * *

><p>After explaining everything to Nash, Ling had been offered (and proceeded to collapse on) the living-room couch. He was a good kid, reflected Nash, even if he didn't always get the bigger picture.<p>

If some unknown kid had run away from home and begun dressing as a girl (for whatever reason – Nash didn't quite buy the 'I'm In Disguise!' theory) it would have been one thing. But the Angevin children were quite another story.

Ling and Russell's generation didn't know – didn't understand why Dante Angevin was famous. Yes, they'd heard that she was in movies, that she was a star, that she'd been gorgeous in her time. What they _didn't _realize was that she was the anti-Monroe, the anti-Diana. She embodied Perfection. There was no scandal around her except her very lack of scandal.

So for her children – just about _all _of them – to have turned against her so violently was the scoop of a lifetime. What's more, it would ruin her.

Nash didn't know exactly where this was headed, or how far it was going to go. All he knew was that Russell was involved – and he didn't like it one bit.


	26. Sometimes What It Looks Like

**Betaed now, and major props to YukinoKara for being awesomely fast.**

**Got some major accusations goin' on here, guys! Chill your heels, and don't go pointing fingers just yet XD We've still got 23 chapters to go.**

**Master of the Hellish Yard: Loa's got some pretty epic sideburns, but so do Father and Hoho, so there's some steep competition. XD If you're referring to what I think you are, he's getting flustered and thrown off balance as usual. Like he says, he's not good with pressure. Nash is pretty awesome! He's a character who never gets any screen time – about five seconds in the first series – so he can just be whatever. In this, he's a more 'low-key' parent than Dante, but more involved with his kids than Hoho and definitely more of a, uh, typical parent than Ling's dad. I'm glad the Roy and Riza thing worked out well – being a 'friend of a friend' is always an awkward position. Before this they only ever met each other in passing. Maes hinted at the military school a few chapters ago, but nobody caught it I toyed with a lot of possibilities for tying in the army connection, but none of them fit in with the age range.**

**GlimmerCreator: Ha, you thought that was awesome? Wait until you read this chapter! That last one was shitty _**

**Iamazoroark: Hallo again XD Luckily you don't have to wait too too long for this one. Yes, I am totally the awesomest (no I'm not, go read Full Circle or Side by Side) and moar will come soon ^^**

**What-is-the-color-of-love: Well here is the next :D I'm glad you've stuck by this so far ^^**

**More apologizing for OOC Noah o_o but writing her IC just makes her a double of Rose and that's boriiing D: Hopefully her new character is still entertaining.**

**WARNING: This chapter gets, uh, kinda steamy. Heh. Uh. Heh. ^^;**

**Part 4: Risu (Fracture)**

**Chapter 26**

**Sometimes What It Looks Like**

Russell woke up, only wondering briefly why he was on the floor. He opened his bedroom door, scratching his nether regions and blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes, not really thinking anything of the fact that he was wearing nothing but a pair of flannel pyjama pants.

He walked down the stairs heavily, yawning as he did so. "Hey Fletcher, you up yet?" He looked around. There was no sign of his little brother.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of the shower running, and rolled his eyes. Walking back _up _the stairs, he hammered on the door. "Oy, brat, you've got to get your arse to soccer practice! It's probably gone ten already -!"

The door opened, to reveal _not _his diminutive little brother.

"Morning, Russ," said Ling, as calmly as if he was supposed to be there. His hair was loose and wet, draped over his bare shoulders and dangling in his eyes naturally instead of in its usual swoop. The only thing – _only thing _– he was wearing was a towel tucked around his waist, almost as wet as the rest of him. Steam from the shower he'd apparently just had billowed out from behind him, outlining every line on his body in eyecatching shadow.

Russell didn't move a _muscle_.

"You alright?" Ling waved a hand in front of Russell's face, and then giggled. "I think I broke him," he said to nobody in particular.

"This isn't _real,_" stated Russell blandly. "This is just one of my stupid wet dreams."

Ling raised his eyebrows, mouth slightly parted. "You have wet dreams about me?" he said with a lascivious grin.

"Sh-shut up. This is my dream and it's gonna go how I want to," mumbled Russell, although still loud enough for Ling to hear.

"So…"

"So shut up." Russell marched into the bathroom, grabbing Ling's neck and slamming the door closed.

Around the corner, Nash was trying to suppress the fierce blush on his face. _Thank god Fletcher left early. _He himself had been planning on having a shower before work.

"Ah…AH!"

Well. He could go without one. And he really, _really _needed to have that talk with Russell.

* * *

><p>"Myerrh." The first thing Envy saw when he opened his eyes was grey. It looked fuzzy, and vaguely curved.<p>

The first thing Envy _remembered _was walking into the bar.

"GAK!" He sat up – and blinked in confusion. He seemed to be staring out of a car window.

"Oh, you're awake."

Envy looked to his side.

"AAAAAAAH!"

He tumbled out of the car, taking the blanket that had been covering him with him. It was a good thing he did too – as he hit the packed dirt, he realized he was _naked._

Which meant that waking up next to a girl was just about as bad as it looked.

The girl – Noah, Envy vaguely remembered, - climbed out of the car, revealing that she was just as nude as he was. "Oh come on, I'm not _that _bad the morning after."

He opened and closed his mouth, gaping like a goldfish – then after a moment of outrageous ogling, remembered himself and clapped a hand over his eyes. "This is _not _what I signed up for," he moaned, trying to recall exactly how he'd gotten here. If he was going to lose his virginity, the least he could do was _remember _it.

"You know, I'm starting to feel insulted," came the teasing voice. Envy parted his fingers slightly, hoping his blush wasn't as obvious as it felt. Noah was sitting on the car seat, brown body still on full display.

"Don't be. You're very pretty," he managed to say with a convincing, if slightly forced, air of confidence. "Did you _drug me?_"

"What? Hell no, that's bad for business!"

"Then what _did _you do?" He pulled his hands away, although he tried to stare at a point just about Noah's shoulders. "I can't remember a thing!"

"That's what happens when you get black-out drunk, love."

Envy blinked. "Sorry, _what? _How did that even…" Realization dawned, and he scowled in her general direction. "When you offered to buy me a drink, _I thought you meant orange juice or something!"_

"Yeah," she replied with a completely straight face. "Orange juice with vodka. Didn't you read the board?"

"No, as it happens."

"And you didn't notice the overwhelming scent of booze?"

"I just thought it – look, I _told _you I wasn't supposed to be in there!"

"I don't even know what that's supposed to mean."

Envy rolled his eyes, falling back onto the ground. "At least tell me it was good."

She snickered, and he sat up lightning fast, scowl only increasing – but she held up her hands in a defensive gesture. "Look, look, I'm sure you're _fantastic _in bed but nothing happened."

"Oh sure, you say that _now_–"

Noah rolled her eyes. "If we'd fucked," she said flatly, "you would know."

"What, you're that bad?"

"No, idiot, I mean you'd be short about a hundred bucks."

Envy raised his eyebrows. "You _steal _from people?"

"No – I mean – oh, never mind." Noah leant over the seat to the back of the car and pulled out a dress, shrugging it over her head. "What do your clothes look like again?"

"Er…blue Levi's, red bl – er, shirt…" He paled as he realized what shoes he'd been wearing. "Er. Black…er…black…flats…"

Noah seemed to have missed the last item – a moment later, a pair of blue jeans whacked him in the face. They seemed to be the right pair.

"Only got three red shirts, and one of them's a blouse so that's not –"

"Actually – er…" He raised his finger.

She looked at him.

He grinned sheepishly.

"This is _yours?_" She held it up, looking at it. "I don't remember you wearing something quite so _frilly…_"

"It doesn't look quite so frilly when it's on. I swear."

"And – did you say black flats?" Noah chuckled lowly. "Oh, I gotta hear the story behind this."

Envy groaned. "There's no story. They fit."

"There's _always _a story."

"Give me my shirt." He held out his hand, but Noah shook her head.

"Not until you tell me why you're wearing girl's clothes."

Envy snorted. "Fine. Don't need 'em anyway." He looked around and took stock of his surroundings – he seemed to be in a little alley-slash-courtyard type area with packed dirt instead of pavement between four buildings. There were two cars including Noah's, both of them as old and broken-down as each other.

_There, that should take me out to…the…street… _Envy stopped just at the mouth of the alleyway, suddenly very, very aware of his bare chest. His bare feet? Not so much of a deal. But he. Was. Not. Wearing. A. Shirt.

And it was all this _harridan's _fault.

"I can't do this. Give me my shirt." Maybe Ling or Ed could strut down the street with their pecs on display, but he sure as well wasn't going to.

"I told you, a shirt for a story."

"I'm not giving _you _a story!" Envy groaned and tugged on his hair. "How about _you _tell me why I was naked in the first place?"

Noah bit her lip. "Er. Yeah. About that…"

A moment later, something poked him sharply in the ribs while saying, "Pay up, Do, he's skinny as a rake –"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He swung around on impulse, fist narrowly missing the girl's face as she ducked away.

The man who'd caught the coin she'd flipped seconds before ducked and drove his shoulder into Envy's stomach, making the younger boy double over. He then straightened up, carrying the still-struggling Envy on his shoulder.

Envy hammered on his back and kicked his legs. "Let _go _of me, you _idiot –_" _Who are they what are they going to do you got yourself into this you DUMBASS you UTTER IDIOTIC FOOL what are you going to do if they steal everything where is your backpack even you've lost everything already –_

He was panicking, jesus he was panicking and –

_And nobody's going to pull you out of it this time._

_ So you've got to do it yourself._

He took a deep breath, and then exhaled as the man plonked him down on a crate.

"Okay, ya done freakin' out now?" drawled the man in what Envy recognized with a start of irony was a Midwest accent.

Noah handed Envy his shirt, and he pulled it over his head with a mumbled 'thank you'. She didn't seem nearly as playful now – which was rather a good thing, considering her idea of 'fun' seemed to be more along the lines of 'cat-and-mouse'.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "It was just a dumb practical joke – that _Paninya,_" she said with a glare at the girl who'd poked him, "thought would be fun."

"What happened?" he asked, eyes flicking to each person surrounding him. There were four including Noah, and he couldn't see any sign of the silent girl who'd led him to the bar in the first place.

Paninya shrugged. "You n' Noah started drinking, you started getting silly and awesome, then you said you didn't have nowhere to go so we decided to bring you here when you were passing out."

"And the clothes?"

Paninya stifled a chuckle. "You took those off yourself. So what's the big deal?"

_I don't even know where to start._

Instead, Envy got to his feet, walking deliberately over to Noah's car and rummaging through the front seat.

"Hey, I don't need you going through our stuff_–_"

"Yeah, and I didn't need to be kidnapped by some crazy drunk people. So," he pulled out one black flat and pointed it at her, "I think this makes us even."

He turned back into the car, digging through the pile of clothes. Most of them were torn or damaged, he noticed, and he briefly wondered why before finally discovering his other shoe underneath a purple dress-shirt and fishing his backpack from the bottom of the passenger seat.

_There. Now to continue on my merry way – _Pulling himself out of the car, he found himself in front of the girl who'd gotten him _into _this mess.

She looked balefully up at him, and he scowled back. "Don't think I've forgotten who went tugging me about everywhere in the first place."

She shook her head, although she seemed more confused than remorseful – then, she reached up and gently touched the side of his face, making him start and slap her hand away.

"Don't!" exclaimed Noah, who then quailed under his querying gaze. "Uh…I mean…just…can you let her? She won't hurt you, it's just her way."

Envy raised an eyebrow, glancing back at Rose. After a moment, he took her earth-toned wrist in his hand and guided her fingers back to where they'd been. "Sorry," he murmured quietly.

Rose smiled gently, and then dragged her touch down his jawline, eyes following her fingers' path. She was tracing out his face, Envy realized, like how he did when he drew somebody – her touch was steady, but as light as a feather, barely touching his skin and bringing up goosebumps where it did.

Envy realized that his heartbeat, which had been doing double time in the aftermath of his short-lived panic attack, was beginning to slow down. _Maybe not as crazy as thought._

"Your name's…Rose, right?" She nodded, grinning and showing a glimpse of off-white teeth. "I'm Envy."

"Oh, _finally,_" moaned Paninya with a sigh of relief. "You kept cycling between William, Hoju and Spiderman last night."

Envy ignored her. Rose, however, giggled, or made the motions of it, although there was no sound coming from her mouth. Seeing Envy's expression, she pulled her hand away and clapped it over her mouth with a sad look in her eyes.

He put two and two together. The silence, the way Noah talked to her, 'her way' –"You _can't_ talk?"

She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes.

"Woah, woah, don't cry – I didn't mean –" A second later, she was wrapped around his chest and the onlookers were trying to stifle giggles.

Envy patted her pink bangs awkwardly. "Sorry," he said again. _Great. I have the feeling I'm not going anywhere._

* * *

><p>The bathroom door closed with a slam, and no sooner had it done so than Russell had thrown himself at Ling, pinning the taller boy to the tiled wall and pressing his body flush against his before kissing him fiercely, lips hard and passionate. Ling returned the kiss, wrapping his arms over Russell's shoulders and wiggling happily at the feeling of the blond's bare chest on his.<p>

_Ohh jesus, this is so hot. _Not only was Ling finallygetting what he'd been lusting after for the last two years, he'd apparently somehow managed to get the repressed idiot that was the subject of his affections to snap and take the lead.

Their lips parted, both of them breathing heavily. Russell's blue eyes were clouded with lust – _although, in my opinion, not clouded enough, _thought Ling mischievously. Lowering his mouth to Russell's neck, he first licked at the salty flesh, and then sucked.

"Ah –AH!"

_Ooh, he is cute. _Ling lowered one arm and grasped the other boy's waist, pushing their hips even closer together and grinding slightly up. He had wanted to do this for a long, _long _time.

"Enjoying yourself, _mabui-chan?_" he whispered huskily, trying not to sound as needy as he felt. There was messing around with strangers and then there was _Russell._

However, he couldn't stop himself from whimpering slightly when Russell threw himself backwards out of his arms, falling on his behind on the linoleum floor. "Hoold on you never speak Japanese when I'm dreaming."

"You…prefer it when I don't speak Japanese?"

"No, I don't care, but I don't know any."

Resigning himself to yet another case of blue balls, Ling leant his head against the wall and crossed his arms as reality began to dawn.

"I'm…not dreaming, huh?"

"Nnnnnope." _Only me, _bemoaned Inner Ling. _This level of idiocy would _only _happen when it's my boner at stake._

Russell covered his face and let out a long, low moan. If Ling knew _anything _about him, he had no idea how fucking sexy it sounded. Even Envy wasn't this goddamn oblivious. And that was _saying something._

Ling settled on shrugging and grinning cheekily. "_I_ was having fun."

"Y-y-yeah but but but I – I – I…" Russell parted his fingers, just enough to show Ling that his face was in danger of dropping off like an overripe cherry. "You! And towel! And steam!"

"Well I happen to like how you act in your dreams."

"I don't! I act like a complete and utter _slag!_"

Ling couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes, and he crouched down in front of Russell. "Okay, I think I've finally figured out what the hell a slag is. And guess what?"

Russ stuck out his lip. "What?"

Ling shifted forward until he was almost on top, the blue-eyed boy leaning back on his elbows and his own black hair falling around them like a curtain. "I'm the hardest I've ever been, and it's all your fault."

"But I –"

Ling took his hand and pressed it to the bulge present just under the loosely-tied towel, which happened to be getting looser with every second. "This is what you _do _to me. Every single goddamn day."

Russell glanced down, and then looked back at Ling with something flickering in his eyes. A moment later, he grabbed a fistful of black hair and pulled the Japanese boy down on top of him.

Another moment later –

"Oops, lost my towel~"

* * *

><p>Hohenheim was thinking, and thinking hard. He didn't do it often, preferring to let life take him where it would, but he had a new role to fill – that of Dad. With a big, scary, capital D.<p>

He was thinking about the recently-departed (well, that didn't sound morbid) Envy and the effect his departure had had on his eldest son. He'd come upstairs and found Ed and Al sharing a bed, bandages around Ed's arms.

He put two and two together quite rapidly, remembering when he'd come home from a year-long trip to find his wife dead and his son in a mental hospital. The trip had only been supposed to be six months, but he had quickly learned that nothing went to plan in South America. Then he'd come home – straight home, not bothering to contact them, because what could possibly have happened?

It was no wonder he'd never been forgiven. The cancer, long gone undetected, had killed Trisha in a matter of months. The ensuing breakdown had tried to kill Edward in a matter of _weeks. _And Al had been waiting, with a state-appointed caretaker to make sure the eleven-year-old was healthy and safe.

Hohenheim shook himself out of his daze. There was no point in reminiscing, not when Ed had apparently had a near-relapse over his friend. Friend?

He sighed. Not just a friend. No way was Envy Angevin just a friend. Which led him to an inescapable conclusion –

-his son, Edward E. Elric, was gay.

_Funny, I read somewhere that these things were never a surprise. _Ed was manly! Ed wore leather and swore like a sailor! Ed hated pink, and he certainly didn't wear sequins.

Although thinking back…he _had _wondered why Ed talked about 'Jared Leto' all the time.

"Hey, Dad?"

He looked up, to see both his sons standing in front of him – one still in his pyjamas, clutching onto a cup of coffee like it was a life preserver and looking rather irked, and the other looking sweet and innocent as always, if slightly nervous.

"Yes, Al?"

"Ed has something to tell you."

Ed glared at Al, to the point where the younger boy flinched. "No, I _don't._"

"We talked about this, Ed!"

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind."

Hohenheim sighed, rubbing his temple. Ed didn't _seem _gay. "What do you want to tell me, Ed?"

"Nothing!" hissed Ed, giving Al a rather panicked look. Al shrugged. Finally, Ed's shoulders slumped, and he sat down at the table. "Okay, bastard, guess what, I like men."

Hohenheim stiffened. _Oh. So he was going to tell me. _"Oh. Er. Care to, er, elaborate?"

Ed rolled his eyes with a stifled snort. "Uh, okay, fine, I like _pretty _men."

_Okay. Alright. Pretty men are almost girls. I can live with that. _"Uh. Alright. Wow. Um. How long have you been…er…gay?"

"Since I was born, dumbass. What, you think I caught a virus or something? Anyway, I'm done. Bye." Ed started to walk away.

Hohenheim's mouth chose that moment to run away from him. "Is this because I wasn't around enough?"

Al flinched, and both hands flew to his mouth, where he began to chew frantically on his nails. Ed's back went straight as a board, and slowly, he turned around until Hohenheim could see the murderous look on his face.

A second later, the mug had been slammed on the table, and Ed was leaning over, almost in his face.

"You think there's something _wrong _with me, bastard? Well take a good hard fucking look, cuz this is the screw-up you have as a son! There's a hell of a lotta things you can blame on being away but being gay –" Ed chuckled darkly. "Not one of 'em. So fuckin' _deal with it!"_

"Ed –" Al began to intervene, but Hohenheim held up a finger in his direction.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly – and unexpectedly, going by the look on Ed's face. "I've never_ had _a gay son before. I don't know what I'm doing."

Ed snorted. "Well, I've never had an idiot father before, so looks like we're in the same boat." He began to walk away again.

"Uh, I just want to clarify something."

"Yeah?"

Hohenheim adjusted his glasses awkwardly. "You're not going to start dressing like Elton John, right?"

Ed didn't turn around, and from how his shoulders were shaking, Hohenheim couldn't quite tell if he was angry, crying or laughing. A second later, with a strained voice that did nothing to clear up the confusion, he said, "No. No, I will not start dressing like Elton John. Or Lady Gaga. Or Beyonce. Or anybody else you might think up."

"Okay. Good to know."

Only once Ed was up the stairs did the sounds of badly-suppressed howls of laughter reach them.

Al glanced nervously at Hohenheim – then grinned. "Elton John? Really?"

* * *

><p>It was ten minutes past two, and Roy Mustang was late. Riza rather adroitly informed him of this as he sat down across from her, looking over the top of her book with an expression that wavered between amusement and annoyance.<p>

"I am a very busy woman, Mr. Mustang. If you're going to invite me somewhere, have the decency to show up on time."

"I'm sorry about that. Traffic was a mess."

"It's a Sunday afternoon."

Roy merely grinned. "So, let me guess – milk and sugar?"

"I take it black," she corrected. "And let's not bother with pleasantries. What do you want?"

"You mean a date with a beautiful woman isn't reason enough?"

"It would be if I saw any beautiful women around. A date with Maes Hughes' coworker, however, I'm more sceptical about." She closed her book and laid it on the table. "So I'll ask again. What do you want?"

Roy smiled, although it didn't reach his eyes. "Fine. I want information, Hawkeye."

"On?" It wasn't a no, and her gaze was just as steely as his. They'd both suffered the same loss, he suddenly realized – he'd _known _she and Maes were close, but hadn't really thought about it.

He leant slightly across the table, lowering his voice, although he needn't have bothered in the crowded coffeeshop. "Envy and Wrath Angevin and anything you have on the explosion."

"That's all?" She seemed honestly surprised, and he blinked.

"There's _more?_" he asked, voice rising in surprise before he remembered himself.

Riza glanced around. "Do you remember the Martel Rockbell case, about three years ago? It was all over the news."

"Vaguely." _Hold on. _"Rockbell?" _Oh._

She ignored him. "You'll want a copy of that file too." Her voice betrayed no sadness, no heartbreak – her face was a perfect mask.

"Hold on, hold on. What's the Martel connection?"

"Envy Angevin's closest friend and his girlfriend until her death."

Roy frowned. "Wasn't there something circa 2002 as well?"

"My memory doesn't go that far back, you'll have to remind me." She said this with an inkling of a smile, and Roy wondered how old she was. Definitely younger than him, but by how much he didn't know.

"I don't remember exactly. All I can recall is something involving the oldest Angevin child and an Arab family. Something about 9/11 fallout."

Riza nodded. "I'll look it up, and I'll get copies of all those files to you."

He grinned lopsidedly. "I wasn't actually expecting you to trust me."

"What _were _you expecting then?"

"A rebuke, perhaps accompanied by a slap."

"I'm not the slapping kind. I prefer firearms," she added with a look that made him shiver. _Definitely _not a woman to cross. "But if you want to know why, I'll let you know this: not everyone at headquarters can be trusted."

His eyebrows just about flew off his face. "You're kidding."

"I'm afraid not. And as Maes's closest friend, I trust you to help us, despite being a civilian."

"I went to military academy. As far as civvies go, I'm a good choice."

Riza smiled and nodded. "So I'll get you those files sometime within the next few days." She got up to leave.

"One question, Hawkeye."

"Yes, Mr. Mustang?"

"How long have you been on the force?"

She chuckled. "Is this your way of asking how old I am?" At his shamefaced look, she replied, "I'm twenty-two. This is my first year on the force. I'll see you later, Mr. Mustang," Riza said with a certain amount of force before leaving.

Roy made sure she was long gone before he slammed his head into the table. _Twenty-two! _So much for that part of it. It looked like he was doomed to be a cradle robber his entire life.

The files though…He smiled into the wood as he felt the fire flicker in his chest. He was _doing _something. He was going to find who had killed Maes, and he was going to make them pay in blood.

Fire always found a way.


	27. Stage Lights

**Betaed :) Also, I've been updating/fixing Chapters 1-12, so go take a look at them. They're mostly the same, I've just been adding line breaks, fixing continuity, stuff like that.**

**Ooh wow, almost the next part already! I've gotten so used to writing this, the parts just fly by. Luckily I've already got a name for the next part, so I don't need to start stressing. The next chapter is the last chap for this part, and you know the deal – something's gonna change.**

**Lyra's character frustrates me. So I basically turned her into Velma Kelly. My bad, haha – but whatever, we don't really see enough of her.**

**Oh, and a very stealthily hidden reference to one of my oneshots, 'Deathbed Dreaming', for anybody who's read that. Hehe.**

**iamazoroark: I've given up even pretending to understand half of what you're saying XD And no, I'm not a Risembool Ranger exactly. I've seen Vic at the Ottawa Comiccon (he called me hot in front of everybody) but I don't go to a lot of Cons in general, due to limited funds and time. **

**rainbow cupcake: Thank you very much! I hope I don't let anybody down D: I'm really paranoid about the plot/ending now that I have people excited _ **

**LeFay Strent: Hello hello new reader! Welcome to the insanity~ XD (And yes I reply to every single one of your reviews. In the chapter. I'm weird and oldfashioned like that.) **

** Chapter 1: I still love some of the lines from this one. Glad your first reaction to the chapter is to laugh, that means I'm still hitting the high notes ^^**

** Chapter 6: Haha, I keep forgetting that it's a surprise for new readers. It was stated right in the first chapter of the shitty original version, and here it's a big reveal. (The first of many) And YES KICK HIM (Don't. I actually like writing him XD)**

** Chapter 8: Ooh yay! That makes me happy ^^ I have to ask, how did you come across it if you aren't an Edvy fan?**

** Chapter 9: Is it bad that my favourite reviews are when I have people crying? Haha.**

** Chapter 10: MARILYN MONROE MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER. IT IS A FACT.**

** Chapter 11: Interestingly enough, that was part of the original story. Not so in this one, but in the first one the parents were quite different. And there's enough Envy-as-a-proper-girl pics out there that you could find a reference quite easily XD**

** Chapter 12: I don't know why I put Kakashi, I just did. You'll notice that I cameo characters from other animes all the time – it's funnier and easier than making OCS. Vicki's the only OC who'll probably show up. However, they won't have any direct impact on the plot – hence why he didn't break it up. In-universe reason: he wasn't actually there at that moment. As for Breda, I didn't know it was him either until that last moment XD Then I was like 'OH YES OF COURSE!' Funny how that worked out.**

** Chapter 15: Thank you! I tried to keep them as close to their true selves as possible while still crafting my changes. I've used almost every character in FMA canon so far, and the ones I haven't used I have plans for.**

** Chapter 16: Gawd, everybody thinks Greed killed her...he's not that old, ya know! Twenty's not much more than a teenager. Interesting theory though.**

** Chapter 17: Always a good reaction. This is one of my favourite chapters, so there we go.**

** Chapter 18: It's so surreal! But I think Envy/Kimbley is hot as hell, so I HAD to play with it a bit after I realized the possibilities.**

** Chapter 20: Wrath is...messed up. Poor kid. If it helps, this is a world with therapists...eventually...**

** Chapter 21: At risk of sounding really, really vain...OMG I KNOW I'M SO FREAKIN PROUD OF THIS PART AND AHHH I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT *spazzing over***

** Chapter 22: Everybody's playing the blaaaame gaaaame~ And I know TwT But it's necessary. Character development and such.**

** Chapter 25: The question on everybody's mind XD Honestly, I'm not quite sure myself – all I know is that I want to go there.**

** Chapter 26: Hahaha. I'm sorry, but there's nothing funnier than reading a bunch of reviews, 'watching' someone get more and more invested and then seeing them pull to an abrupt stop. Don't worry, I'm good at updating Thanks for your wonderful reviews!**

**Fairyboydammit: To be completely honest, I was never quite sure about the Ling/Russell myself, but they really came into their own. I'm glad you're rooting for them, and I hate to say it but they're strongly inspired by many, many people I've had to help sort out. Sigh. As for Envy's departure, yes, it's completely insane. It's not just you. But have patience – all will come clear! I do have everything planned out, I swear! Writing Hohenheim is fantastically fun, especially since he's so dense compared to Ed (whose insightfulness is kind of scary). I've been wanting to do the coming out scene for a while now, so it's good to see other people have had their fingers crossed for it XD (And there will be more with Wrath.) Phew, I was worried I had them all wrong, but apparently not. Yay ^^ Thanks for your wonderful long review! You're awesome **

**dreamyblyss: Ling is currently tied for second in the favourite-character poll, so you're not the only one And yeah, he's kind of dating himself a bit there. I'm surprised Ed even knew who he was talking about. Thanks for reviewing! It's all these luverly reviews that make sure I won't give up on this story **

**Master of the Hellish Yard: They're not very common outside the States, so if you live elsewhere, you may not have heard of the military schools to begin with.**

** I imagine every line in their voices (English dub usually) to see if it works. And...ee, I think I'd better go back and clarify that chapter a bit. Russell was in his room, Ling came to his house, and they're talking through the bedroom door.**

** Envy's so skinny, he's the lightest of lightweights. Ah, Julia. Good thing you mentioned her. She's scarily close to being a distinct person, hence why he's shy again. And _nobody's _running on full after waking up in a situation like that.**

** I grew up in Britain, I know my swears The seme/uke roles found in fanfiction and yaoi really bother me, to be honest. So I'm subverting them as much as I can XD**

** Hoho's a little...clueless. And the Elton John thing is something my dad said about one of my friends, so it's Hoho's way of aging himself. XD**

** Well, you're not supposed to ask a woman their age, right? So you have to have 'other ways' of finding out. And reminder: Lust is the oldest, not Greed. She's twenty-one, he's a year younger. So many people forget.**

** Thank you for another monster review! Hopefully I addressed everything, my eyes were starting to cross after a bit, haha. **

**Yaya-Suki: You're assuming he's a dom. XD And thank you! I'm glad you're warming up to her, she's gonna be around a while. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Ashling Ivy: I enjoy this part precisely because I get to wander around and poke the other characters with a stick ^^ And have you not heard it before? It's quite common in the many places I'm from. Thanks for reviewing ^^**

**(Holy shit this is like two and a half pages of replies. LEFAY STRENT THIS IS YOUR FAULT)**

**Part 4: Risu (Fracture)**

**Chapter 27**

**Stage Lights**

Ed had always told himself he needed to get around to fixing his ceiling. The plaster was spiderwebbed with cracks, leading almost all the way from one wall to the other. It radiated from a single point near the lamp in the middle where he'd thrown…something, he didn't remember what, on the day he'd found out that Mom was going to die. Now, he was stuck staring at it every time he was seized with the need to stare up from his bed.

"Fantastic." His hysterical laughter at his father's comment had faded now, although he still chuckled every few moments. It should have stung more, but it was just so _ridiculous. _Hohenheim was just so fucking clueless.

Ed sighed heavily. Mom would have understood. She would have smacked Hohenheim with a rolling pin and told him he was fine just the way he was. Or, at least, that's what he liked to think. She'd done that enough times for other things, there was no reason to believe it would be any different for his sexuality.

He turned onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow with a groan. The house felt horribly empty. For two months or so, (no, it hadn't even been that long) even his silent moments had been filled by Wrath swearing up a storm every time he lost against Al in Super Smash Bros, Envy's soft humming when he thought no one was listening, them bickering over something stupid like the West Side Story movie or whether Spiderman or Batman would win in a battle…

Ed began to chuckle again. For quiet boys, Envy and Wrath were pretty noisy. But now Envy was gone, and Wrath was more subdued than he'd ever been. He didn't even _know _where the kid was right now.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he muttered. He _couldn't _do this, not without Envy, not without the person he'd done this for in the _first _place.

_Would I have helped Wrath if it hadn't been for Envy?_

He felt a lump rise in his throat as he tried to find the answer – and once he did, tried to ignore it. _No. Probably not. But – but I did. And I'm going to! I just…fuck, can't he just come back? This is all too goddamn complicated. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this._

He grabbed two fistfuls of hair and tugged in frustration. It was early enough that he hadn't even braided it yet – hell, he needed a shower like crazy as well. He'd needed one last night but it hadn't exactly been the highest on his priority list.

His head snapped up at the sound of the doorbell, and his heart leapt into his throat. A second later, he was running down the stairs, jumping them two at a time, and he wrenched open the door, the name pulling itself out of his throat before he could stop himself.

Ling blinked. "Last time I checked I wasn't Envy and neither's Russ. But since you look like a coked-up Kurt Cobain right now, I'll let it slide."

Ed managed a twisted half-grin and to say, "C-Cobain was into heroin, not coke-" before sinking to the ground and burying his face in his hands with his back against the doorjamb.

"Whoa, hey! _Chibi-chan, _what's wrong?" Ling crouched down and placed a hand on Ed's head, but he batted it away.

"Nothing. Shut up. Why're you idiots here anyway?" Ed wasn't going to cry, not in front of his _friends. _That would be a whole new low. His eyes were burning, though, with the effort, and so he kept his hand where it was.

"Remember Friday? You know, the day from hell? We wanted to make sure everything was okay."

Ed snorted at Russell's words. "Today's Sunday, jackass. If something was gonna go wrong, it would have already."

"You're saying that like it has already."

"You could say that."

Ling looked up and into the house. "So where is Envy? You seemed pretty worried about him right there, _chibi._"

Oh god, his eyes burned. He wanted to cry so badly, and the cuts he'd made last night burned too as a little physical reminder of just how fucked up he was. "He's…gone."

"_Nani?" _"What?" they said at the same time.

"Gone?" repeated Ling, frowning. "Gone where? Home?"

"Dunno. Probably not."

"But where did he _go?_"

Ed shrugged. "He didn't tell me. I don't think he's really going anywhere in particular."

"But…" Ling's brows were furrowed deep now, his confusion evident. "Wrath?"

"Still here." He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep.

"And you just let Envy _leave?_"

Ed lowered his hand and glared up at Ling, snarling, "Look, if you wanna figure out how to fucking deal with this shit, _go right ahead. _Me, I'm doing my best and I cannot _fucking deal, _alright?" His voice broke rather embarrassingly on that last bit, and he covered his face again, hoping he just looked tired.

Ling looked at him for a moment, and then sighed, reaching into his pocket. "Jesus, I need a smoke."

"Thought you'd quit."

"You don't quit smoking, you go on vacation."

Russell coughed. "If I may? Ed, get up."

Ed stayed stubbornly seated.

"Fine, don't get up. But you have been absolutely obsessed with Envy for…what, three months now? And now he's left and you're sitting in a doorway being all upset?"

Ed parted his fingers to glare at the blond. "I've only been completely responsible for him. I'm _allowed._"

"Well, yes, of course. But you've been ignoring us in the process and call me needy if you like, but that's a bit irksome."

"_Irksome,_" repeated Ed in a mocking voice, and Ling struggled to keep a straight face under Russell's baleful glare. "But come on. I haven't been ignoring you. Right, Ling?" He turned to the Asian boy in search of support, but Ling rubbed the back of his head and glanced away.

"Actually, Edo, Russ's kinda right. I-I mean, I get _why,_ 'specially since I knew about Julia and stuff, but…" He shrugged. "Envy's awesome. Seriously. He's, like, super cool. I dig him. A lot. But you're, like, crazy about him –"

"I'm not, shut up," hissed Ed, hackles rising instinctively, but Ling continued blithely on.

"-and it's one of those horrible situations where it's like yay, they're happy but we never see them, and it's kind of a fucked up situation anyway with the…him hiding and the whatever-ness."

"You need to read a dictionary," moaned Russell, wincing.

"_You _need to watch Buffy," Ling fired back. "But anyway. Yeah."

"So what was the point of that?" asked Ed, trying not to sound too mean. Oh, screw that. He wasn't trying at all.

"The _point _is," said Russell, "we're your friends. We're here to support you and for god's sakes, if you keep pretending you're _not _close to tears I will punch you, so help me."

"I'm _not-_" Ed began to splutter, and then hissed, "Fat lot of support I'm getting when you're too busy fighting with each other!"

"That's different –"

"How the hell is it any different?"

Russell sighed. "I don't know about Ling. You two have known each other _way _too long. But I can't help you if you don't actually tell me what's wrong. Right now, though, I can see you're a mess."

Ed rubbed his forehead, and after a moment, exhaled. "…Yeah. Yeah I am."

"Good, you admitted it. Now, go have a shower, you look like shit. Then get Melissa, you're coming to Ling's house and we're going to jam."

Ed smiled wryly. It wasn't often that Russell strong-armed him into something – usually he was too lazy or too shy to bother. "Alright. Gimme fifteen minutes." He disappeared up the stairs, and both boys watched him go with equally worried expressions. A moment later, Russell broke the tense silence.

"It's bad, isn't it?" His voice was quiet, uncertain, and he looked down to where Ling still sat on the concrete.

Ling said nothing, but twirled the cigarette he still held in his fingers. After a moment, he pulled a lighter from his pocket and flicked it, holding the flame to the end of the cigarette until it began to smoke.

Russell watched him uneasily. "Do you have to?"

"Yes." Ling took a long drag, and blew out the smoke. "Don't tell me I can't smoke after seeing him like that again. Haven't seen him like that since ninth grade. Jesus Christ."

"I don't remember him being like that –"

Ling shook his head. "You wouldn't have. He'd just gotten _out, _remember? He kept a pretty good handle on it."

The blond sat down on the concrete step next to Ling, all too aware that he was treading on rocky ground that he hadn't even known existed. "What _is…_it, exactly?" It was an awkward question, but he didn't know how to ask it.

Ling shrugged. "Depression, I guess. I don't fuckin' know." The Japanese affectations were completely gone, and Russell wondered if Ling was talking about Ed or himself. "He's supposed to be on meds but I know he's kinda bad about taking them. And…he was _okay! _He was fine! God, if anything could make me hate Envy this would be it."

Russell was tempted to say it but didn't. _You can't hate anybody._

Ling took another puff on the cigarette. "I'll bet his arms are bandaged."

"Huh?"

"He gets like that…well…" He shrugged. "You can guess. Whatever."

Russell stared down at his hands, gripping his knees. "How come…how come you or Ed never told me any of this stuff?"

Ling shrugged. "It was…he didn't need to, I guess. Besides…" He smiled, and Russell felt his heart skip a beat like it always did. "Would you have believed it? How he is most of the time…you wouldn't have."

Slowly, Russell shook his head. A moment later, he reached out and pulled Ling's head down onto his shoulder, trying not to blush (and failing) when the dark-haired boy snuggled into the sideways embrace.

"So…we're, like, dating again?"

"Only if you put out that damn smoke."

Ling quickly ground the cigarette out on the step and flicked it into the street. "There. _Yoshi?_" he said hopefully, and Russell batted his hand playfully.

"After this morning? What do you think, you silly faffer?"

"I think that you're super awesome and that I'm glad we're not fighting anymore."

Russell snorted despite himself. "Sap."

* * *

><p>The inhabitants of the 'Sack', Envy came to realize as he was formally introduced to each of them, were just as ragtag as their surroundings. Noah and Rose with their loose skirts and gypsy-clothes were, oddly enough, the more <em>normal <em>ones.

The girl who'd poked him, for example, was Paninya. She was small and scrappy, with chocolate-coloured hair tied back in a short ponytail, and grinned rather too much. With her khaki pants and easy yet swaggering manner, she rather reminded Envy of who Martel might have grown up to be. Always with her was the man who'd picked him up like a sack of potatoes (that still rankled) and he had the equallyodd name of Dorochet.

"Who _names _you people?" he'd asked, and received a chuckle from the Midwestern man in return.

"Our parents," he replied with a quirk of the lip, and then glanced up at Envy. "And you?"

"Uh. Ah." Envy clicked his tongue. "Yeah. You have a point. I'll shut up now."

"Good man."

The fifth member of the group, and clearly the odd man (or rather, woman) out, leant against the truck, holding a cigarette loosely in her fingers. "It's about time we had another man," she purred in a voice that somehow managed to be both mocking and seductive. "Poor dear Dorochet must have been getting lonely." She blew out a lungful of smoke, and Envy waved it away, blinking and somehow not coughing.

"Uh, great. I mean, yes. Another man. Right." Envy was discovering that not everybody was as easy to talk to as Ed.

She laughed. "I'm Lyra." She was slight but curvy, noted Envy, and wearing a black-and-purple dress that seemed only a little worse for wear. "And _you're _staring."

"Ack!" He wrestled his gaze upwards. "N-no I'm not!"

She pushed herself away from the car, cigarette hanging so loosely from her fingers that Envy wondered when it would fall to the ground. "Mhm. You're cute...for a minor."

Suddenly Envy recognized what she was doing. "A game..." he muttered under his breath, much to her surprise. It was the same thing he'd done countless times as Julia - which meant -

Almost instinctively, he shifted his stance, planting one hand on his hip and letting the other dangle. He smirked right into Lyra's face, straightening up slightly to use his height against her.

"Well," he purred, Arizona accent coming back in full force as Julia settled back into the place she'd vacated. "You're not too bad yourself. For an old lady, that is."

A chorus of 'Oohs' went up from behind him - Paninya and Dorochet if he wasn't mistaken. He heard the distinctive voice of the tomboy murmur, "Toldja he was gay. Pay up," and he thought that might have been the sound of Noah sniggering.

Lyra, however, was less impressed. She narrowed her eyes. "Think you're clever?"

"I don't think so, I know so." He grinned. "And modest, too."

She looked him up and down with a critical eye. "So what are you, then? A tranny or a reject from the freakshow?"

Envy heard a strangled hiss from behind him, and he was momentarily lost for words. "I don't know," he replied honestly - and then raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to find out?"

Set, match and _game. _He could practically see the steam roiling up from her ears. "I'm not _Noah," _she growled, her carefully-crafted voice crumbling and showing signs of a Brooklyn accent, "It takes more'n that." With that, she spun on her heel and stalked out of the alleyway.

Envy slumped back into a slouch with a groan, glancing down towards Dorochet nervously. He hadn't meant to do that - he just didn't like being toyed with. He opened his mouth to say as much, but Dorochet beat him to the punch with a hearty laugh.

"It's not often I get to see Lyra taken down a notch or two!" He raised his fist. "Good job, lad."

Envy smiled uneasily and bumped his fist against Dorochet's, just before getting tackled by Paninya.

"That was AWESOME! Man, you're hot when you get like that. Are you single? Say you're single."

Dorochet rolled his eyes. "You're not, remember?"

Paninya stuck out her tongue. "Well I'm leaving you for the sexy minor."

With a wince, Envy managed to extricate himself from her grip, flopping to the ground. "I didn't mean to make her _leave..._"

"Oh, she'll be back," said Noah flippantly, pulling her fingers through her hair. "She's a bit temperamental."

"I noticed," he commented drily, watching her carefully. "What's the matter?" he asked after a moment, and she started.

"Nothing."

"Is this about what she said?"

Noah scoffed. "Like I'd let that harpy bother me."

"I don't get it. Why'd she say that?" Envy blinked as all four sets of eyes stared at him in disbelief. "Wh-what? Did I miss something?"

Noah smoothed her skirts over her knees. "I'll say you did."

With that, it clicked. "_Oh._" He felt his cheeks rise with blood. "Oh," he said again, trying to figure out how he'd missed it.

_Bigger question is: how on earth do you react to finding out someone's a prostitute?_

Julia was right out, but Envy himself was too shy to even dwell on the idea for too long. Such was the problem with multiple personas.

He took a deep breath. _Remember, WWED? What Would Ed Do? _The answer came even more quickly than he expected.

"I don't see the big deal."

Noah raised her eyebrows. "You don't - what?"

"Well, it's a living, right?"

She laughed. "Can you believe you're the first person ever to say that?"

Envy shrugged. "Then everybody else is stupid. It's your choice what you do - unless Dorochet is your pimp and that's something else I missed - and I don't see Lyra's issue."

Noah nodded slowly. "I like you. Are you staying?"

"Uh - am I - what?" The Ed impression faded as quickly as it had come. "Am I staying?"

"Yeah. I mean, Rose and I have room, and we're all as badly off as each other, so..." she shrugged. "Unless you're going somewhere."

That made him think. He'd planned just to see where he ended up, and this seemed as good a place as any. They were an interesting group, and with fifty dollars to his name, he wasn't going to be staying in any uptown hotels.

They were _offering _this to him. Their home, peculiar as it was, had been opened to him. This was his chance to be someone new.

"Sure," he said, grinning. "Just make sure Lyra doesn't garrote me in my sleep."

* * *

><p>Elysia Hughes didn't say a word, glaring up at the person standing in front of her. Said person was examining his nails with a bored expression, while the third and fourth members of the group were seated on the far end of the bench, watching nervously.<p>

"Well?" said Wrath after a moment, still going to the effort to disguise his voice despite how bad at it he was. It hadn't stopped Elysia from being completely and utterly fooled. "Aren't you going to say something?"

She gritted her teeth by way of reply, her eyes sending off sparks.

"I honestly don't see why you're so mad. It's not _my _fault you're crap at noticing things."

She remained silent, but a trained observer would have seen how every muscle and nerve was wound tight and tense. A trained observer well-versed in comic book lore would say that Elysia was about one push away from going 'full Hulk'.

Wrath, sadly, was not a trained observer. "I mean, it's not like I'm _Envy, _you know. He actually created a whole character. But seriously, getting fooled by me is just sad -"

"You SON of a BITCH!" Elysia leapt for his throat, knocking him to the ground in a scuffle of limbs. She raised his fist, ready to clock him, but he grabbed her wrist. She raised her other arm and was blocked the same way, and she couldn't break out of it, no matter how she struggled.

"Stop it," he said peevishly, and then looked from one hand to the other. "Oh cool, I never knew I could do that."

Elysia's lip trembled dangerously, feeling Sharon - Wrath - Sharon's hands on her skin burning like brands. "Wh-why...wh-why..." She burst into tears and pulled her hands away, rubbing them away as they trickled down her cheeks.

"Oh great, you're crying now."

Elysia glared at him through her tears. He shrugged, although his eyes showed a measure of panic. "Shit, I dunno what to say."

"Try sorry!" yelled Kole, chuckling as Mei elbowed her in the side.

"I don't need your fuckin' help, Kole, shut up." He turned back to Elysia. "Uh, sorry?"

"Y-you _lied _to me a-and Envy lied to me and Ed lied and y-you s-s-s-scared me and Envy did too a-a-and... _Dad..._" The last word was nothing more than a whisper, lost in a fresh outburst of tears.

"I'm sorry," Wrath muttered again. "'Bout...everything." He looked up at her, and between their eyes passed the memory of the kiss he'd taken. It should have paled next to everything else, but it didn't.

Elysia rose shakily to her feet. "I'm so _stupid,_" she moaned, burying her face in her hands. "How could I...how could I not know?"

"Maybe you just need to start looking past that big nose of yours once in a while." Wrath smirked, spurring Elysia to do something she'd never done before.

She raised her middle finger to him with a scowl.

"ELYSIA!" squealed Mei, shocked. Kole merely laughed, and Wrath raised his eyebrows.

"Oh boy, never seen that before."

"I _hate _you," she hissed.

"Believe me, you're not my favourite person either. But you're not half bad."

"W-wait, what?" She blinked, caught off guard.

"I'm not repeating that." He hopped to his feet and dusted off his skirt. "Now, I should get going before you try to hit me again." He walked past her, arm brushing ever so slightly against hers.

"W-wait!"

He looked over his shoulder. "What do you want now?"

"I...I didn't say you could leave!"

She didn't know - she couldn't have known about the bitter fight going on inside his head.

_**Look how she wants you! You'd be an idiot not to take advantage of this.**_

_I'm. Not. You._

_ **That's what you think.**_

_She needs friends, not someone like me._

_ **But she wants you.**_

Wrath swallowed the lump in his throat. "Fine. I'll stay."


	28. Prodigal Son

**Betaed by the luverly YukinoKara ^^**

**Okay, so this is the part ender, hence its epic, terrifying length. I was tempted to cut it, but I was determined it was going to cover a certain sequence of events and even if it ended up being 5,000 words...well...:P I also reused a bit of structure from 'Grotesque', number 70 in my Beauty and the Beast 100 Themes collection. The songs used in this are (even though I gave complete credit within the story) Summertime by My Chemical Romance, Stranger in a Strange Land by 30 Seconds to Mars and Somewhere Out There by Our Lady Peace. None of those songs belong to me :(**

**Master of the Hellish Yard: You like DW and Torchwood? Ooh, there's a part you're gonna love coming up soon. And it may or may not involve our favourite cranky Brit. Who's to say Envy doesn't already have a bit of a split personality, by the way? Julia's pretty distinct :P Paninya is FUN. I don't think I'm straying too far from the character by making her a bit of a flirt - think Kaylee from Firefly. And yeah, who doesn't want to be garrotted? (rolls eyes) If you like Wrath, the sequel's gonna focus on him :) And of course it remains. That voice isn't going anywhere for a long time. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope this chapter doesn't scare you off :P**

**Simply-2-Lust-4: Ohai! Thankee muchly, I enjoy writing dialogue so it's good to hear it's believable. And thanks about the writing style, too! I worry so much about that ._.**

** I hate it when people do that to female characters. I guess it helps that this isn't so much a 'yaoi' story as it is a tragicomic drama that happens to have gay boys as central characters.**

** I'll be honest, I'm a little torn on that. Part of me's going 'but...but...I thought I had them IC...' except that's a total lie. This has become my own story in a huge way and I actually feel kinda weird remembering it's a fanfiction now XD In fact, I'm kind of doing what you're doing (except rewriting, trimming, etc.) except Envy and Ed are Seth and Gale. (I think I like Nathan better for Ed, actually. Thanks!) And I get not liking Edvy, a lot of people don't for exactly those reasons.**

** Which brings me to. Where'd you see the good review? O.O I know my oneshot collection got put on TVTropes, but where'd you see one for this? I'm excited now!**

** I'm glad the drama's realistic - I put in a lot of effort and do a lot of research, especially for the more oblique instances. A lot of the things that happen in this are things that have happened to me, my friends or their families. When you see some of this shit firsthand, it really becomes real. Although...should I put 'Trigger Warning' in the summary? You don't see that often on this site, but if I'm getting that realistic it might be a good idea.**

** Anyway, thanks for your awesome review! It really makes me giggle and squee when I see long ones like this. Hope you'll keep reading about 'Jet and Nathan'. XD**

** dreamyblyss: Hallo :D I get a huge kick out of writing Ling and Russell because they're so perfect for each other in all the worst ways. I'm glad you like them, even if in canon it's like the ultimate of crackpairings. Elysia! There is actually logic behind her character in this fic - if Hughes had died when she was thirteen instead of four, he would have been spoiling her her entire childhood. That turns a lot of sweet kids a little bit sour, and we've seen that she's a little entitled, bitchy, and doesn't like it when things don't go her way. Yay, you like Wrath! (The sequel's gonna be about him :D) and he is hard to write, because of how complex his various issues are. The 'mommy-crazed' part of him is still there, just a lot quieter. I haven't explored this as much as I want to yet, but Wrath gets along the best with older people, like Hoho. That's because he wants guidance, and a parent-figure. Sorry updates have been a bit slower than usual, I've just started school and I have a LOT of facts to juggle after 28 chapters...but hey, this chapter should be worth it. It's 5000 words. Anyway, thanks for reviewing - and putting up with the fact that I use review replies as an excuse to ramble about why I did certain things. *grin***

**Pen-Name-Kitsune-Chan: OMG HI :D I'm so happy you like this! I worry constantly that people won't accept this interpretation of Envy (even though he is actually based off canon and there's a whole chain of logic behind it) so thank you so much ^^ And wow, that's flattering :3 I didn't peg you for the high-school-AU type, so that you're reading this just absolutely thrills me. (Off topic: I sent you a PM about the giftfic, did you get it?) Thanks for reviewiiiiing 3**

**YukinoKara: I think I have done that more than once actually ._. I didn't realize until you pointed it out XD**

** It's been about six weeks, all told - Ed's version of 'almost two months' is 'more than a month'. The joys of POV. And if you look back through everything, accounting for some minor time skips during Julia's tenure at school, it adds up. I made sure! :D**

** Heeeeroooo compleeeeeex w Probably the most IC thing about Ed ==; And have you really never noticed? It's why I had a thing for Ed for so long. *shameless Nirvana lover***

** Thanks! I'm deaf, so speech patterns of any kind are something I've always had to pay particular attention to. And hopefully it's not too obvious that Ling and Russ are quickly becoming my favourite characters...haha.**

** Envy's Quick Fix: If it's a bitch, out-bitch it.**

** I've said this in other people's replies, but I'll say it again - Wrath and Ely are going to be the stars of the sequel! (Which I'm already planning.) And this Elysia is the result of logical progression - if you're that spoiled as a kid, it's gonna show. Also, good choice of music, 'On My Way' is my Walk Liek A Boss song. Thanks for the luverly review!**

**Fairyboydammit: Actually, this one is the part-ender - but it's still awesome it was able to grab you without being crazy-suspenseful. Wrath and Ely, sadly, we won't see much of in this fic, but the sequel will be all about it :) Thanks for reviewing - and hopefully this chapter doesn't make you run away D:**

**iamazoroark: Lol, I'd never tell you to shut up. You're too interesting. Honestly, you remind me of Ling when he's high. Although I really don't know how to reply to you half the time XD Thanks for reviewing, though!**

**what-is-the-color-of-love: I hope you didn't actually! It's not ACTUALLY her fault, I was joking. I feel bad now. It's just that there's enough reviewers now that my habit of replying to them all in the chapter is getting...bulky. Anyway, thanks for reviewing! Things are getting more and more intense from here on out :D**

**Lefay Strent: Of course. I reply to every review I get, and I can actually prove that claim because of the in-chap replies XD And that's awesome! I'm constantly working on the summary to make it not cliche, but I dunno how D: Conflict is fun to write, and Wrath is a constant source of it. And he's always fought back against it, but he's just getting better at it. Thanks for reviewing! (And I totes need to read your longfic now. I've passed over it a thousand times because I dislike OCs but now I feel obligated to give it a go. You sound intelligent which is a good sign :D)**

**Yaya-Suki: Does. He. EVER. Sadly the 'Greed part of Wrath' does not have a face to punch. And yeah, Envy's pretty damn talented. And as far as the seme/uke thing goes, I'd like to use Chris Crocker as an example. (Yes, the Leave Britney Alone guy. He's a musician or something now.) He crossdresses a lot, and really, _really _convincingly - but he's on top about 95% of the time. And when you think about Ed and Envy, who's really more 'dependent' on who? Who is honestly emotionally submissive to the other? Also, past history. Envy's bi, he's used to being with girls (Well, Martel) where the man tops as a general rule. Ed's gay, and he was clearly the sub to Roy. (It's actually stated in Chapter 21) Or I could just be messing with your mind. You'll find out :D Anyway, thanks for commenting :)**

**Part 4: Risu (Fracture)**

**Chapter 28**

**Prodigal Son**

It had been a pleasant coincidence of Ed, Russell and Ling's friendship that they were all musicians of a sort, even if they had vastly different tastes and styles. Ling was a drummer, fitting his enthusiastic and slightly abrasive personality; Russell had been taking piano lessons for years (even paying for them himself) and Ed...Ed had Melissa. Melissa was an electric guitar, fire-engine red and beat-up even when he'd bought her at a flea market, and she was the only girl in Edward's life.

However, between the retro-vintage rock/pop fanatic, the Celtic music lover and the punk rocker, finding a musical balance was difficult if not downright impossible. Their jam sessions tended to turn into a disorganized yet entertaining mess of styles and beats - mostly coherent but enough to make anybody well-versed in music theory shake their head. It didn't help that Ed's idea of practicing and self-teaching was to learn and play his favourite songs over and over again. He could play 'Enter Sandman' but still couldn't tell a pentatonic scale from a...non-pentatonic scale.

For these reasons, and several others, their jam sessions were few and far between. Today, for example, was the first that semester, and definitely the first since the entire fretful business had begun.

"Oh _no, _not you brats again."

Which made Kanda's opening sentence, honestly, completely undeserved.

Ling stuck out his tongue at his older brother, who sneered back. "We're jamming. You joining us, _nii-san_?"

"Hell no."

"Okay, suit yourself. Guess you'll have to just spend another day wishing you had a band to practice playing Mugen with -"

Kanda didn't say a word, but got to his feet and brushed past Ling with a growl. Ling chuckled quietly, heading after him down the hall and followed by the other two members of the group.

After a moment, Ed leaned over and murmured to Russell in an amused tone, "So...how _was _the sex?"

Russell stopped dead, staring after Ed (who kept walking for a few steps before he stopped) with his mouth hanging open. "You - what - _no! _I mean -"

"Russ, you're the colour of a cherry. Just say 'good'."

"But - but - but -" If Russell thought he'd been mortified that morning, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. "How?" he hissed, eyes flickering over Ed's shoulder to make sure Ling wasn't watching.

Ed made a face to stop himself from laughing, tongue in cheek. "You've got the world's greatest hickey. Right there."

With a yelp of horror, Russell clapped his hand to his neck. "Shit! I'm going to _kill _him..."

"You didn't answer my question."

_If looks could kill..._Russell glared at Ed, and face still almost unbearably hot, he answered from between gritted teeth, "It was good." He couldn't, however, stop a shy smile from spreading across from his face.

Ed laughed again, and then shook his head. "Just don't neck in front of me. That's just weird." He made his way down the stairs with a last rueful chuckle, leaving Russell standing at the top, trying desperately to compose himself.

* * *

><p>Something was still bothering him. He liked it here - he'd been sorting through the pile of clothes in the car with Rose, letting her teach him how to stitch closed rips and tears. It was relaxing, calm (although it would have been calmer if Pan and Doro hadn't been wrestling in the dirt) and Rose's silence was a welcome change.<p>

But something - just _something _wouldn't leave him alone, nagging at him.

It hit him with the suddenness of a gunshot, feeling so much like one that he actually pressed his hand to his stomach, expecting to feel blood. There was none, of course, but his mind still reeled and spun at the enormity of his _selfishness._

He realized that Rose was looking up at him, doe-brown eyes wide and soft with concern. "My..." He swallowed. "I need to go."

Her concern transformed into badly-concealed panic. Envy shook his head. "No, I mean...I need to go visit...someone."

She cocked her head questioningly.

"My...my sister. She's...she's sick. And I haven't seen her in almost a month." He put down the t-shirt he'd been struggling with. "I...I have to go. I'll be back..." _I think, _he added mentally.

He began to climb out of the car and walk towards the mouth of the alleyway, his head starting to pound. _Lust. _He'd forgotten about _Lust._

Glancing up, he tried to judge the time - the sky was starting to glow faintly gold. There was probably an hour left before sunset. With a sigh, he continued out into the street - only to come to a dead halt.

There were people everywhere, and not a _single _thing he recognized.

"Great," he muttered.

A hand slid into the crook of his arm, and he turned his head to see Rose, pink bangs falling over one eye as she smiled beatifically up at him.

"No way in hell." He pulled her hand off. "You're not coming." He walked off, trying not to feel bad at the look on her face.

A second later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He glanced back at Rose. "What now?"

She shook her head.

"Whaddaya mean, no?"

Only when she pointed a finger in the other direction did he clap his hand to his forehead. "_Fine,_" he spat. "But you're waiting outside." He liked her so far, but he barely knew the girl - and there was no denying she was a little...strange.

She didn't seem to have heard the last part, clapping her hands gleefully and breaking into a run in the direction she'd indicated. Still, he felt obligated to yell out, "It's not my fault I've never been in the Market before!"

* * *

><p>"Okay, that was a pretty good jam." Ed slumped into a beanbag chair that shifted under him. "We actually sound kind of like a band now!"<p>

Kanda snorted derisively, earning a glare from the blond. "Sure, if you're using _Nickelback _as a reference."

"Elitist prick."

"Hn."

Russell rolled his eyes. "We should play an actual song. You know, like bands do."

"And get a name!" chirped Ling from behind his drumkit.

"Yeah, sure." Ed thought for a moment. "How about we each pick a song and we'll just figure it out from there? Ling, what's your pick?"

Ling tapped his chin with his drumstick for a moment, and then flipped it in the air and caught it. "Summertime. MCR," he said with a sideways glance at Russell - which meant he completely missed Kanda narrowing his eyes.

Russell rolled his eyes. "I have _no idea _what that song's about. Huh - most of the songs I know are Celtic or piano solos. Except...well..." He shrugged. "How about Stranger in a Strange Land?"

Ed almost dropped Melissa. Actually, he did. Only the strap saved the guitar from crashing on the floor. "30 Seconds to Mars? You - _you -_ are suggesting a Jared Leto song? Oh, I could kiss you. Not that I will."

"It's hard, though..." The drummer. sounded dubious.

"What, think you can't handle it?" The lidded look that Russell gave Ling was unmistakable - and the Japanese boy suddenly grinned.

"Nah, I'm just worried you won't be able to _keep up."_

"Oh don't worry. I'm gonna make you sweat."

Ed was spared the embarrassment of speaking up by Kanda. "Oy. Knock it off. You're gonna make me sick."

Russell suddenly became very interested in the black keys on his keyboard, face slowly turning red.

"What about you, _chibi-chan_?"

Ed opened his mouth, and then paused. Finally, he hoisted Melissa properly into his lap, running his hand along her neck as he answered, not looking at any of the three. "Somewhere Out There. Our Lady Peace." His voice was clipped and quiet, daring anybody to comment.

Nobody said a word for at least a minute, only the sound of Ed plucking quietly at Melissa's strings acting as a soundtrack. Everybody (except perhaps Kanda) knew why he'd chosen it, knew _exactly _why.

Finally, Kanda broke the silence.

"Oh _brilliant," _he snarled peevishly. "You dumbasses finally decide on a genre and it's fucking punk-pop."

* * *

><p>Envy looked up at the house he'd called home for seventeen years, swallowing in an attempt to get rid of the lump in his throat. Somehow he'd managed to forget just how much it towered, especially in the darkness.<p>

"Okay," he whispered, although the street was empty and silent - Ouroboros was a quiet road generally - "you need to wait outside."

Rose stuck out her lip in a pout, but Envy shook his head. "Stay _here."_

She sighed in what could reasonably pass for acceptance. Checking once again to see that the lights in his parents' room and Greed's room were off, Envy slowly made his way towards the door, rubbing the key he'd carried with him all this time between his fingers. It was strange - it had never occurred to him to throw it away, even though he'd had no intention of coming back again.

He paused on the steps. _Ed and I stood here, back on the...the second day we knew each other, I think. I didn't want to let him in either. _For a moment, he wondered if he shouldn't call to Rose and let her in, but he pushed the thought away. This was different. Sentimentality had no place.

He opened the door, wincing at how loud the click seemed in the hot, still air. It was two days away from June and summer seemed eager to make its big entrance. The hallway was empty - he hadn't expected anything different - but there was a light on down at the far end.

Lust's room.

Envy exhaled, sliding inside as quietly as he could and closing the door behind him. He'd learned years ago how to get around without attracting attention (Greed's, or Mother's, or even Father's) but he felt like he was walking across glass.

_I'm not just walking into the lion's den, I'm walking into its damn mouth._

He turned the corner, and his chest suddenly tightened, threatening to release in the form of a flood of tears.

She'd gotten so small.

* * *

><p><em>When the lights go out, will you take me with you?<em>

_And carry all this broken bone_

_through six years down in crowded rooms..._

* * *

><p>"L-Lust?" He hated how his voice trembled, pitched itself high like a scared little boy. But really, that was all he was. He could act a thousand parts, be a thousand people, but he was just...he was still just a <em>kid.<em>

And his sister - his hero, his protector, his idol - was lying in bed, a needle in her arm and her face drawn and gaunt. His sister was -

"Lust?" He sat down on the chair next to the bed, terrified to touch her hand lest it be cold.

His sister was _dying._

He swallowed again and brushed her hand, feeling how the small bones underneath poked up through her skin in ridges.

"Mmmh..." She began to shift slightly, and her purple eyes flickered slightly open. "Envy?" Her voice was slurred, but her eyes flew wide - before she narrowed them suspiciously. "Are you real?"

"Wh-what?"

"I'm not hallucinating, right? Morphine's a hell of a drug."

Envy forced a laugh. "No...no, I'm real."

"Awesome. I missed you." She smiled slightly, although her eyes were still gauzy. "Wondering when you were gonna pop by."

"I...I'm sorry."

"What for?" she asked in surprise.

"I...should have...should have been here earlier..." He stopped, feeling the words stick in his throat.

She laughed, although it came out thickly instead of the usual sound of bells. "I'm not going anywhere yet. I'm just on drugs because it hurts like hell."

"Are...are you sure you should be? I mean - morphine is -"

Lust blew a raspberry, although it fell a little flat on her dry lips. "What's it gonna do, kill me?"

Envy squeezed his eyes shut in discomfort. "Okay, yeah, you're fine. Jeez, even on drugs..."

"Well, somebody's gotten some snark while they were away. If this is what Blondie does for you, I like it." Suddenly she began to wince.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, just need some more...can you put it in the, uh, the drip?"

Envy swallowed. "Yeah. Sure." He followed her instructions, and soon enough she sighed.

"Much better. I'll probably fall asleep again soon."

"How..." He took a deep breath. "How long do they say?"

Lust shrugged. "The docs? They're not sure, I've been hanging on for dear life - sorry - but they give it...well..." She smiled faintly, the corners of her lips tight. "No more than a month."

Envy tried to say something, anything, but instead he nodded and closed his hand around hers. She was quiet, and for a moment Envy thought she'd fallen asleep.

"His name was Sadad," she said, the words so quiet and slurred that he almost thought he'd heard wrong. "Sadad Mikhail. But I never called him that."

Envy couldn't help shivering slightly. Lust had always said she was never _sure _who she'd gotten it from. Never sure who to blame.

But apparently she was.

"I called him Scar, because he sounded like the guy in Lion King," she mumbled. "But it wasn't his fault. Tell him that, m'kay? Tell him for me."

_Sadad Mikhail._

Envy's mouth was dry, but he said it anyway. "Yeah. I will."

She was already asleep, chest moving up and down in a comforting motion. Envy slowly rose to his feet and slid his hand out of her grip.

It hurt so much now. He wondered how he'd be able to bear it when she actually died...

He leant over, placing his hand on her head and kissing her forehead gently. "Night, Lust." He paused. "I love you."

* * *

><p><em>How long?<em>

_'til we find our way in the dark and out of harm_

_You can run away with me_

_Anytime you want..._

* * *

><p>Envy paused at the foot of the stairs, a few metres away from the door. He should just go back to the Sack with Rose, he knew - just go, just leave - but as he looked up the stairwell, a memory swam up in his mind.<p>

Greed's photograph had panicked him and frozen him to the spot when the officers (Riza) had interviewed him. Just a picture of him -

- because he hadn't seen him since that night. Since the night that Greed had pinned him to the bed and put a knife to his throat, since he'd finally given up any claim to being his brother.

A sour taste filled Envy's mouth, but still he looked up the stairs. After a moment, he began to walk quietly up the stairs, breathing lightly and running his fingertips along the banister.

He wouldn't be defeated by a _face. _He wasn't that weak...he hoped.

The door to Greed's room was open, although Sloth's down the hall was shut tight. Envy could hear the faint sound of snoring, which comforted him - Greed _was _asleep. It was odd to think of him in bed so early, but he supposed even the most off-kilter of schedules lined up with everybody else's at some point.

Into the room, cluttered with headphones and albums and magazines and bottles. Into the darkness, only the light of the gibbous moon pouring through the window serving as illumination.

And there.

He looked completely harmless when he was asleep, the harsh lines of his face gentled by dreams and his usually-spiky hair deflated, falling over his face in tousles. He didn't seem nearly so greedy.

Envy exhaled, taking a few more steps to stand right by the bed and look down. Greed was shirtless, and he could see the scars that laced his chest and arms. These weren't like Ed's, and there weren't nearly as many, nor as deep - they were the medals and brands of the fights that he'd won and lost. Around his neck was a shark's tooth necklace, nestling into his chest hair and glistening with an off-white dull shine.

He slowly lowered himself to his knees, staring right into Greed's face and searching for a hint of the monster he knew him to be. But all he could see was a person well past the awkwardness of adolescence but not quite grown, a man with his mother's beauty and his father's strength and size.

Envy's breath began to come in quick starts. He was supposed to _hate _him! He was supposed to - Greed was supposed to be easy to hate now. _He's not my brother anymore._

Greed shifted in his sleep, making Envy start backwards slightly. As he did, he caught sight of something hanging on the end of the bed.

It was a grey hoodie, and even without looking closely Envy knew it was one too small for Greed, one that nevertheless still had the initials G.A. on the tag.

Suddenly, his vision was swimming, and he moved backwards, trying not to let the sob building inside his chest burst out of his mouth. He couldn't cope, he couldn't fucking _cope, _because -

-_he's my brother and I still love him and goddammit I'm supposed to hate him after everything he's done to me and he loves me but I...I...I don't know what to do..._

Envy fell backwards with a quiet thump, and he froze, watching Greed carefully for any sign of stirring. He was still fast asleep, and he relaxed.

He turned his head, realizing he was right next to Greed's desk. There was an open knife embedded point-first into the wood, right back near the wall, and Envy almost snorted at how ridiculous it was. He reached out, gripping the handle -

- and the anger he'd been seeking flooded into him, tempered only by shellshock and disbelief and a single thought repeating over and over again.

He pulled the knife out with a fierce tug, but it sent him crashing into the desk itself.

"Mmh? Whuh?"

A small part of Envy started to panic, but most of him was alight with rage. He'd _never _felt like this. Ever. He'd never had reason. He'd always cried helplessly, or just curled into a ball and tried to ignore the world.

Greed propped himself up on his elbows, rubbing his head and messing up his hair even more than before. Then, he opened his eyes blearily - before they shot open completely.

"Envy?" He hauled himself out of the bed, face lighting up. "God, do you know how fucking worried I've been, you little brat -"

Envy leapt to his feet, adrenaline shooting through his system as he raised the knife towards the older man. Greed looked down at the knife, and all the blood drained out of his face. "I..." He swallowed. "I can explain."

"Oh, can you?" His voice was no higher than a whisper, but cutting and dark with a mocking undertone. "Then, please, do tell me _why you have Martel's knife._"

* * *

><p><em>I'm a ghost, you're an angel<em>

_We're one and the same, just remains of an age..._

* * *

><p>"It's none of your damn business, kid," snapped Greed in reply, tense lines cutting themselves into his face. "Listen, just...put it down, okay? Don't point it at me like that, that's dangerous."<p>

"Good," whispered Envy just loud enough for him to hear. Greed rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"Put the goddamn knife down and stop being a fucking dumbass."

"Not happening." Envy's hand was shaking - hell, all of him was shaking. He _knew _this was Martel's knife. Everything about it was familiar, every damn thing. The 'X' she'd carved pressed into the bottom of his palm, edges rough and unsanded. "Where did you find it?"

Greed paused, eyes filling with dark sorrow. "She...left it here. Before she...died." His shoulder twitched at the word.

"Bullshit. She never left this anywhere and they couldn't find it and -" A horrible thought occurred to him, and he took a shaking, unsteady step backwards, trying to steady his lips enough to say it.

He had to know, even if he couldn't believe.

"Greed..." The name rolled off his lips like a drop of water, falling...falling... "Did you have anything to do with it?" ...and shattering.

The worst part was the silence that followed. Even moments later, when Greed opened his mouth, ready to say 'No', Envy knew that the wait had been too long - too long - _too long -_

MARTEL

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed, launching forward and raising the knife, bloodlust gripping him.

He was going to kill the bastard, bury the cold steel blade in his heart, slit him open with Martel's knife because he had _taken _her from him, he had taken her _away _and he had killed her he had killed her he had shot her and let her die and _she had trusted him._

But this time, Greed wasn't drunk. Instead of plunging into Greed's chest, the knife sliced only open air, a large hand closing around Envy's wrist and pulling him down to the floor.

Envy found himself face-up on the floor, Greed kneeling next to him and pinning both of his wrists with one hand. "I didn't - jesus _christ, _you think I - what the hell do you think I am?"

Finally, a question with an answer - even if he'd struggled with it just a few moments ago.

"A monster," replied Envy quietly, before lifting both his legs and kicking Greed away.

* * *

><p><em>The end is coming, everybody run<em>

_Gonna live forever, gonna live forever_

_Tonight_

* * *

><p>He shot out of the door, scrambling and falling as he did, scraping his knees on the carpet and against the frame. There were two types of thoughts clashing and warring for dominance now - bloodlust and terror; fight and flight.<p>

Being pinned down had woken his nightmares.

_Kill him! Kill him, slit his throat, do it, you goddamn coward -_

_ Run, get out, just get out while you can, out out out out OUT before he catches you_

Greed was coming, calling out his name. It was almost drowned out by the cacophony of voices pulling at his mind.

And then suddenly something else was pulling at him. He was jerked into somewhere dark, a door slammed, a light turned on (making him blink and rub at his eyes) and a voice was asking, calmly and quietly in a voice like shifting ice, "I never took you for an idiot before. Clearly, I was wrong."

He looked up, heart still hammering violently against his ribs. "Sloth?"

Her face was a perfect mask as she locked the door. "I suppose you think this was smart." Her mouth twitched slightly. "You're going to owe me for this."

"For what?"

"For getting you out of here, of course."

Envy blinked, confused. Then he remembered - "So that's why you wanted the room with the fire escape."

"I have places to get to sometimes," she replied obliquely, raising a thousand and one questions in Envy's mind. "But you can use it."

"...Thanks."

"Just remember that you owe me."

Envy allowed himself a half-smile. "Sure. Tell you what, you can come to Garfiel's Bar and ask for me any time you feel like getting me to pay it back."

"A bar?"

"It's a very nice one." He got to his feet, still trembling. "They sing musical theatre."

"You're shaking."

"You blame me?"

"No." Sloth took a wary step forward, and Envy realized she was trying to work up the courage to hug him. Instead, she placed a hand on his shoulder, making him realize that he'd grown at least half an inch since he'd last seen her. "Keep yourself safe."

At those words, the anger that had subsided temporarily flared up again. "He -" but he couldn't say it. Saying it made it true, and he wasn't ready to make it true.

Sloth nodded, and then made a shooing motion with her hand. "Get going, he'll figure out where you've got to soon enough."

Envy cracked open the window, looking down onto the rusty fire escape. It didn't exactly look safe, but...well, it was better than nothing. He swung his legs out, and then remembered something.

"Sadad Mikhail."

"Who's that?"

"Lust's boyfriend."

Sloth raised an eyebrow. "Which one?" she replied, not able to keep a slight edge out of her voice.

"You know which one. Find him."

Her mouth tightened into little more than a line, lips white. "Of course."

* * *

><p>Rose was waiting outside right where he'd left her, kicking up her feet and making her white dress puff and billow in the still air. She looked up with a grin, which faded as she saw his face.<p>

She got up, round face filled with concern, and reached out. He flinched away.

"Sorry," he said a moment later. "Just...I...sorry."

She said nothing (of course). There was music playing somewhere. He could hear it faintly, drifting through the air.

"Come on," he said, rather more brusquely than he intended. She didn't seem to mind, automatically reaching for his hand. He pulled it away. He couldn't bear to touch anybody right now.

They walked for a few minutes, the music getting louder and louder. Envy wondered where it was coming from - a party, perhaps.

Envy realized Rose had stopped walking, and turned to face her. "What's the matter with you?" he asked rudely.

She opened her mouth, and he could see her trying to speak. Finally, she gave up, and walked forward, breaking into a run and launching herself at Envy.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

Rose threw her arms around him and squeezed tightly, trapping his arms by his sides. Once again, she tried to speak, and then moaned in frustration as nothing came out. She raised one hand to his face, running her fingers along his jawbone like she had earlier, but her touch was steadier now. He could feel the warmth of her touch spreading through his frozen veins and slowing his heart down from its frenetic pace.

And then, Rose lifted herself up on her toes and kissed him, lips dry and her dyed bangs brushing against his cheek like a kiss of its own.

Envy could hear the lyrics of the song now, as the blood rushed to his cheeks.

_You're falling back to me_

_You're a star that I can see, yeah_

_I know you're out there, somewhere out there_

He looked at her again, trying to figure out what to do - what to say - what to _think. _Because what he saw, what he saw was gorgeous, but...

His train of thought was interrupted as she licked her lips and kissed him again - and this time, her lips pushed against his, opening his mouth to let her tongue flicker in.

Envy closed his eyes as he kissed her back, gripping her hips and feeling how they curved and swelled under her loose dress. _I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of not knowing what I want - because this, this is good enough._

_You're falling out of reach_

_Defying gravity_

_I know you're out there, somewhere out there._

_I know you're out there, somewhere out there._

Yet, even with his body pressed against Rose's in the middle of the dark street, Envy couldn't forget about the knife in his pocket. It sliced through his thoughts, sharp and prickling. It lay darkly across his mind.

Deep within himself, where nobody else could bear witness, Envy swore it to the ghost he'd lived with for too long.

He wouldn't mourn her anymore.

He was going to avenge her.


	29. Coping Mechanisms 101

**Curse you, love of minor characters! Also DoroxPan would have been so great if they'd ever met _ Then again it's hardly more cracky than RussxLing.**

**It is Monday in this chapter - Part 4 took place over one weekend. It's kind of insane - but Hughes died on Friday, Envy left on Saturday, he visited Greed on Sunday. Comic-book time woo!**

**I have never read Gravitation. Apparently boys kiss in it.**

**Callbacks everywhar!**

**Thanks a ton to my beta YukinoKara :)**

**Part 5: Suibou (Collapse)**

**Chapter 29**

**Coping Mechanisms 101**

Dorochet Wolf wasn't usually an insomniac, but there was something about the waxing moon that made him restless. Full moons were the worst, but even the more-than-half-full one hanging in the sky above his head had him itching to be doing... well, something. Anything.

He'd taken great pains not to disturb Paninya as he eased himself out of the truck. It was just the two of them in the Sack tonight - Lyra was off on one of her cons, Noah was dancing at the bar and Envy and Rose...

Okay, he wasn't quite sure where they were. But Rose, at least, had good enough sense to find her way back. He was still undecided on the kid.

As he sat down on one of the milk-crates littering the cul-de-sac, he dug into his pocket and pulled out his knife, flipping it absentmindedly. After a while, he flicked it open, throwing it into the air and catching it by the handle each time. It was a nice knife, bound with black leather with a double-edged blade – serrated on one side, straight on the other.

He flipped it one more time, the steel catching the moonlight and glinting like a wolf's tooth before it came back down. Just as it touched his palm, however, a raw voice came from behind him.

"Teach me."

Dorochet dropped the knife in surprise, and it landed blade-first in the dirt as he turned to look over his shoulder. "Oh hey, it's you, kid. Rose with ya?" he asked, seeing her moments later as she came out of the small alley.

Envy grinned, eyeteeth glimmering, but it came out more as a grimace. "Teach me," he said again.

"How to use a knife?" asked Dorochet uncertainly. His good, if antsy, mood had been completely ruined – the kid didn't look right. Envy's pupils were dilated as all hell, and he couldn't seem to stop fidgeting.

Doro was going to kill Noah if they'd found themselves with a drug addict on their hands...

"Of course," said Envy in a tone made disquieting by the sheer want inherent in it. "I... I need to know."

"For what?"

"None of your business," he snapped, and then covered his eyes with one hand, grimace disappearing in a sigh. When Envy pulled his hand away again, he looked far more normal, although still with a slightly off-kilter feel. "Just... please... please teach me how to fight."

"How ta fight?" echoed Dorochet disbelievingly, but then he looked Envy up and down. He'd ditched the blouse for one of Noah's black tank-tops, but he was still undeniably small for his age - not short, exactly, but scrawny. He'd probably been beaten up a thousand times in grade school.

Dorochet bent over and picked up the knife, deliberately closing it. "Pan and I'll teach ya how to hold your own in a fight. And I guess if you got a knife you better know how not to gut yourself with it."

Envy grinned again, the shadows under his eyes springing into high contrast against his wickedly pale skin. "Great."

"But –" Dorochet held up his hand. "But, you need to get some _sleep_, kid. You look somewhere between a zombie and a drug addict."

Envy shrugged with a small laugh. "Alright. Works for me." Pause. "I don't look that bad, do I?"

"Ya look worse now than ya did hung over."

"I wasn't hung over."

"My point still stands." Dorochet pointed to Noah's car. "Sleep. Now."

A look not unlike a sneer crossed Envy's face briefly, before he relaxed into a tired half-smile and began to drag himself across the lot, cracking open the trunk and rolling in without even bothering to take anything off.

Dorochet looked back at Rose, still standing at the entrance of the alleyway with a hand pressed against the bricks and the other brushing against her lips. With a sigh, he held out his arm. "C'mere."

She sprang into his arms, almost knocking him off the crate. At first he thought she was upset, but when she pulled back, he saw that she was grinning.

"What are you so happy about, huh?" Dorochet muttered almost sulkily. She continued to grin, shrugging, and then kissed him on the cheek before sauntering off.

He rubbed his cheek absentmindedly as Rose joined Envy in the trunk, the only thing visible her bare feet kicking at the ground. Even the excitable young woman's affection couldn't displace the discomfort seeping into his bones.

* * *

><p>Envy stared up at the moon, every muscle in his body aching. He was so, so tired.<p>

It was a pity sleep didn't seem to have any intention of arriving.

It wasn't that he was cold – summer was approaching at lightning speed, and it was warm enough – but he could feel the open space all around him.

Envy shifted again, the carpeting of the trunk rasping slightly against his skin. _I've fallen asleep in a _graveyard_, but somehow I'm having issues falling asleep in a car?_ It was completely absurd - then again, every time somebody used that word, the world probably took it as a suggestion.

And then there was the issue of not being alone.

He rolled onto his back, looking over at Rose. She'd decided – for whatever reason – to sleep next to him instead of in her usual place, and he for some equally strange reason had allowed her. She'd fallen asleep almost instantly, hands folded under her head like a toddler.

Envy half-smiled, the corners of his lips twitching up involuntarily as he reached forward and brushed a stray strand of magenta hair away from her face. His fingers touched her cheek, and he stopped, taken aback by how soft it was.

It was strange to think that she didn't know a thing about him, nor he about her. He wasn't naive enough to believe that Rose wasn't scarred, but she was the picture of innocence despite it. She exuded it, if that was possible.

Suddenly, Envy's face grew hot. _Okay, perhaps innocent is the wrong word..._ He licked his lips nervously, still unable to take his eyes off of her. God, he wanted to kiss her again.

He wanted...

He swallowed. Leant forward. He could feel her breath on his cheek.

He wanted...

– Envy turned away, forgetting to breathe. She was asleep! What was wrong with him?  
>He curled up in a ball, suddenly shivering. He knew what was wrong with him. He wanted Martel... and he wanted Ed.<p>

"I made my choice," he whispered almost soundlessly. "I made my choice."

If only he could convince himself it was the right one.

* * *

><p>"Ergh."<p>

"What's the matter with you, Eddy?"

Ed glared sideways at Ling. "How the hell are you so peppy – no, wait, don't answer that."

"Funny you should ask-"

"I SAID don't answer that!" With a groan, Ed continued walking, trying to ignore the grin on Ling's face. "Please tell me you let Russ go home after I left."

"I did! …Eventually!"

"Blugh. You're ridiculous. He's ridiculous. Everybody's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous," he muttered, staring at his feet.

"You're not ridiculous," said Ling quietly, making Ed stop in his tracks and look up. "Don't say that."

"I was joking," replied Ed weakly, but he knew he didn't have much of a leg to stand on. Still, he managed a smile, which quickly became genuine.

Ling returned it, and then after a moment, he lifted his hand and buried it in Ed's hair, rubbing the back of his head affectionately. He leant down and kissed the top of his head, and then with one last ruffle, pulled away. "Come on, we're gonna be late for Chem!"

"We don't have Chem. You just want to spend your spare with Russell."

"Semantics, _Chibi-chan._"

"ARE YOU SAYING I COULD SLIP THROUGH A SIEVE?"

Ling laughed, and then barrelled off towards the school. "Yep!"

"AUGH I'M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR SPLEEN AND FEED IT TO YOU!"

A moment later, Ed took an almighty leap and tackled Ling to the ground, exhaustion mostly forgotten in the thrill of the chase. "Your spleen is _mine_, Chinky!"

"Ahem." Russell didn't even bother looking down, turning the page of his book nonchalantly. "I believe I need him in one piece."

"The spleen's a non-vital organ, you know."

"Oh." Russell smirked. "Go ahead, then." He began to walk away.

"Russy..." whined Ling, putting on the best pout he could before unceremoniously dumping Ed to the ground and draping himself over the taller blond's shoulders. "I don't_ wanna_ be forcefully dissected!"

"Tch. Fine, I'll save you."

"Yay! Whatcha reading?" he asked, craning his head over Russell's shoulder, only to have the book snapped shut almost on his nose. "Is that manga?"

"...Maybe."

Ling squatted down, glancing up at the cover. "Is that... _Gravitation_?" At his shocked declaration, Ed burst into side-splitting laughter.

Russell's face flushed bright pink, and turning on his heel, he chucked the manga novel at the chortling teen, clocking him right in the forehead. "Shut _up_!" He turned back to Ling, and then glanced away with an uneasy expression, crossing his arms. "I was just _curious_, that's all."

"Curious enough to go to the library at...6:36 a.m.?" At Russell's startled expression, Ed tapped the stamp in the front of the book with a smirk.

"I – shut up. Give it back."

Ed tossed it back, and Russell grabbed it, holding it close to his chest as he fought his blush.

"You're so adorable, _mabui-chan_." murmured Ling with a grin, pecking his cheek.

"Okay, that's it," groaned Ed, "you two are making me sick. I'm going to class, bye."

Ling grasped his arm as he passed by, the same half-pitying, half-pleading look as earlier in his thin eyes. "Nothing's gonna change, okay?"

"What, with you two draped all over each other?" Ed laughed to soften the blow, although Ling didn't look convinced.

"Okay, some stuff might change. But it's always gonna be us against the world – the _three_ of us," he added with a significant glance at Russell. "Kicking ass and taking numbers."

"Kicking ass and taking numbers. You worry too much."

"Ne, I think I worry just enough."

With a roll of the eyes, Ed left, flashing a lazy peace sign behind his back.

"I didn't know you had it in you," commented Russell with no shortage of sarcasm.

"Had what?"

"The capacity for seriousness."

The Japanese boy turned on his boyfriend with a mask of horrified indignance. "You know I can be serious! I'm serious all the time!"

"What that means for the world, I fear to even contemplate."

"Hehe. You sound like Yoda."

"Idiot."

"_Dobe_."

"I _know_ what that means, Ling."

"Dammit!"

* * *

><p>Pinako Faber arrived at the Ottawa airport at 3:28 in the morning, and at the Rockbell flat exactly one hour and two minutes later. The door was answered by a dark-eyed, rumpled Winry, who smiled wearily before hugging her foster-mother and inviting her in.<p>

Winry offered her the bed, but with a voice that brooked no argument, Pinako insisted that the nineteen-year-old go to sleep _right now_. No, she couldn't just 'finish up her blueprints'.

_It's rather like being thirteen again_, mused Winry with no shortage of amusement as she climbed into bed. _Although I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something..._

Roughly two hours later, at 6:30, Riza Rockbell found out for the first time that there was a third person in her apartment. To say that she was shocked would be an understatement.

"Good morning, Riza, dear."

"WINRY!"

* * *

><p>The worst part about bandages, decided Ed after an hour of History class, was how badly they itched. He was tempted to rip them off in the middle of class, but he doubted Professor Grand wanted quite such a vivid illustration of the Roman's wartime tactics. Still, it wasn't doing anything to improve his already-sour mood, and neither was the idea of seeing Ro – <em>Professor Mustang<em> – next period.

He plonked his chin grumpily down his desk, eyes glazing over as Grand's lecture on the phalanx went straight through his head. Now that he was in a bit of a better headspace, the entire business was starting to bother him.

Although still not as much as it should.

Bloody relationships. Too much trouble.

Finally, the bell rang – _Free at last!_ – and without so much as a backwards glance , he ran out into the hall – and straight into someone.

"Watch where you're going, faggot."

"Please just leave me alone," moaned Ed. He really, really wasn't in the mood.

"What, in a rush to go suck off your boyfriend?"

Ed fixed Kimbley with a glare that could have melted steel, at which the senior only grinned. It didn't reach his eyes.

"We had a deal."

"Deal's off, Elric. Having your tranny lover seduce me for a thrill? I think that voids it."

Ed blinked. "What?" he managed to say before Kimbley grabbed his collar, wresting him up until he was standing on his toes, unable to tear away from the eighteen-year-old's piercing glare.

"You think it's funny?" he hissed. "Finding out that I had a faggot shove his tongue down my throat –" He shuddered.

Finally, the gears clicked. "You made out with Envy?" he exclaimed... possibly a little too loudly. "But he's straight!" _Or, at least, that's what he's been telling everybody,_ he thought wryly in the microseconds before –

_Crash!_ Ed wasn't sure the sound he heard when his head impacted with the locker was the metal denting, or his skull. _Funny, this feels oddly familiar._

"So am I, you fucker!"

He slid open one eye, looking up at Kimbley. His arms were itching, his head hurt like a bitch, and did he mention he was in a bad mood? But he knew how good he was at reading people, and putting aside his _other_ concerns (Kimbley? Really?) he could see exactly what the senior's problem was.

"You actually liked her, huh? Julia, I mean."

Kimbley actually drew back slightly in surprise, before making a guttural noise deep in his throat that definitely didn't sound like a no. However, his face then split into something half-smile, half-grimace. "As if I would like a freak like that. I wouldn't care if sh – if he jumped off a bridge."

Everything froze for a moment – at least it seemed that way. A second later, his usually lantern-bright eyes cold and hard as ice, Ed drew back his arm and drove his knuckles straight into Kimbley's face.

* * *

><p>"You're an idiot, Elric."<p>

"Please, spare me the proselytizing," moaned Ed, trying not to flinch.

Roy simply shook his head as he peeled the blood-soaked bandage away from Ed's wrist. "As surprised as I am that you know that word –"

" – bastard –"

"– it's my_ job_. And really, is there any other response to punching another student with a wounded arm?"

Ed snorted. "I didn't think, okay?"

"I'd figured out that part."

"Bastard."

Roy chuckled despite himself. "You can use a word like proselytizing and you can't think of any other insults? Disappointing." He hissed in sympathy as he exposed the cuts on Ed's arm, now oozing blood through the thin scabs. "How did you do this to yourself?"

"It was an accident."

"I should hope so. Did you trip while shaving? Then again that presumes that you need to shave." Roy reached into the first aid kit. "You're just lucky that you got me and the nurse got Kimbley. Miss Curtis is many things, but gentle she is not."

Ed couldn't repress a shudder. "You don't have to tell _me_. This isn't my first fight, you know."

"I'm well aware. Now –" Roy gripped Ed's hand and pressed the antiseptic swab to the weeping cuts. "– what exactly happened?"

He didn't respond for a while, lowering his head so that his blond bangs hid his eyes. Roy didn't push him, though, cleaning the excess blood from the re-opened wounds and trying not to let on that he knew exactly how they'd gotten there. Everybody had a past, after all.

"He was... I was defending Envy."

"I think Envy can defend himself –"

"He's not here," Ed replied in a tone that had dropped almost to a mumble.

"Ah." Roy unwound some fresh bandages and began to wind them around his student's arm, resisting the urge to press his lips to the torn flesh. _He is my student – my student, nothing more._

It didn't _matter_ how warm he'd been when he'd tackled him to the ground at the sound of the explosion – didn't matter how much he wanted to fold Ed into his arms and get the stubborn brat to tell him what was wrong –

- because at that moment, the second between his protective instinct fading and his horror rising, when he'd realized that even with all he risked, that he still wanted Ed more than anything, Maes had been dying.

That was enough to send any vestigial lust scurrying for cover.

"So, is he not feeling well?" he asked conversationally. Ed stiffened at that, which piqued his curiosity.

"No, I mean... he's not..." Ed glanced up with an expression that wavered between wry smirk, grimace and scowl. "He's gone, okay?"

The roll of bandages fell out of Roy's hand, skittering to the other side of the room as he stared disbelieving up at the seventeen-year-old. "What?" he managed to hiss. "He's – what? Gone where? Back home? But Riza would have –"

"Oh, it's _Riza_, is it?" interjected Ed acidly. Roy closed his mouth, returning the teenager's stony glare.

"Where did he go, Elric?"

"I don't fucking know, alright? Just up and left. Didn't even tell his _brother_ where he was gonna go. So when assholes like _Kimbley_ –" Ed pointed accusingly at the closed door, "– go around calling him a- a tranny and a faggot and saying it'd be better i-if he was... was _dead_..." He faltered for a moment, voice breaking slightly, and then he found his stride again. "I'm sure as hell gonna defend him. Nobody else is gonna," he added bitterly.

"I would –"

"Oh yeah? And where were you all these years?" Ed's voice began to rise in volume. "Fuck it -" Just as suddenly as it had risen, it dropped in realization, "–where was I?"

"Ed –"

"I should have _done something_!"

"Edward!" Roy grabbed the boy's shoulders, unsure of what else to do. "I have done my best," he said in the calmest voice he could muster, shoving his own building panic deep down inside his chest, "and right now, my priority is _you_."

Ed's startled, half-skeptical look was enough to make him amend his sentence to, "Making you... feel better... helping you cope..." It wasn't working, and he gave up, grinning sheepishly despite himself.

The blond snorted. "You're lucky I'm not retarded enough to break these open again otherwise I'd be flattening that pretty face of yours against the wall."

"Threats against a teacher, Elric?"

"Deal with it, Mustang."

And just like that, things were back to normal...

...until Ed left, walking back into the classroom with a lazy slouch and fresh, clean bandages under the sleeves of his coat, and Roy was finally able to grab a moment between treating his student and actually getting around to teaching his class.

He picked up the phone, almost fumbling it out of his hands. Outwardly he seemed completely calm, but it took him three tries to remember the number he was trying to call.

"Hello?"

"Miss Rockbell, it's Roy Mustang." He cleared his throat. "We... have a problem."

* * *

><p>Elysia Hughes made it to school on Monday – she wasn't sure how, just that she knew if she didn't, she'd probably never go again. Everything was distressingly, disconcertingly normal. Mei chattered. Kole bitched. Al broke up fights in the yard and gave his lunch to a Grade 7 who'd forgotten his.<p>

It was just after lunch when she dropped her purse while sitting down at her desk. The contents spilled out across the floor, and she started putting everything back in when her wallet fell open in her hand, and there he was, grinning through his bifocal glasses in one of the rare moments when he'd been on the other side of the camera.

Elysia got briskly to her feet, terrified that the tears would spring from her eyes where everybody could see. And everybody _was_ looking at her, wondering what could possibly have the great Elysia Hughes quaking at the knees.

She turned and all but ran from the classroom, ignoring Miss Ross's startled cry as she made a beeline for the bathroom, staring at the white linoleum floor and how her denim shoes contrasted with it.

In fact, she was so intent on her shoes that she didn't realize she wasn't alone until she ran smack into whoever else was in the washroom with her, tumbling to the ground.

"Watch where you're going, big-nose," grumbled Wrath, adjusting his skirt with a scowl worthy of Grumpy himself.

Elysia stared up at him for a moment, and she tried to compose some witty response. Usually it would have been a matter of seconds, but she settled on a derisive laugh. What came out, however, was a choked sob, and she covered her mouth with a hand as the tears she'd been fighting finally broke through.

"Damn," muttered Wrath. He knelt down, motioning as if to reach out but stopping himself just as he started to. "It's – it's not _that_ big... have you seen Barbra Streisand?" He paused. "Fuck it, I need new housemates."

She rubbed hopelessly at her eyes with clenched fists. "'m not cryin' ov' my _nose_...idjit."

"I know."

Cautiously, she glanced over her hands, her gaze meeting Wrath's. "I..." she began to say, and then swallowed.

Without another word, he eased to the ground next to her, pressing his shoulder to hers and nothing more. At first, Elysia couldn't figure out why it felt so strange, and then she realized she could count the number of times Wrath had chosen to initiate physical contact on one hand.

"You're a _dummy_," she sniffled through her quiet sobs. He chuckled wryly, but said nothing more, sitting next to her in silence. Time passed, although Elysia couldn't tell how much.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked, so quietly that Elysia wasn't sure if she'd heard correctly. Still, the fidgeting of his hands spoke louder than any words.

She sniffled again, waiting for her pride to lurch up in defense – but it didn't come. She was tired, empty, and completely drained in a way she didn't even know it was possible to be. "...Sometimes."

His hands tightened into fists in his lap.

"...but not right now." Elysia leant her head over and buried her face into his shoulder. It was funny... like this, she could almost imagine it was Daddy's shoulder, warm and comforting.

"Hmph. This doesn't mean I_ like_ you, you know."

Almost, of course, being the operative word. Strangely enough, she didn't seem to mind.


	30. What You Never Knew

**It's the big 3-0! Holy shit! 30 chapters omg wat.**

**Sorry about the wait, guys. I know I promised December chapters, but in the ****frenzy of NaNoWriMo I'd forgotten just how bad winter was for academia. Dec/Jan are when all my final projects and exams are :/ However, I have been steadily ****progressing on as much as I can, even with various other distractions. It doesn't ****help that this is a difficult part of the story .**

**Things! And stuff! Brown Eyed Girl 42 wrote my first piece of fanwork for this fanwork ;_; *sniffle* It's a poem called 49 Pills and it's fantastic and awesome. Go reeeeeeead iiiiiit.**

**Updates for...everything else...are coming soon.**

**And quickly approaching 200 reviews! Wowzers! Same as usual, my 200th reviewer will get a giftfic FMA oneshot of their choice :3 Any pairing, any setting, any prompt, whatevs. (I'm still working on three of them...so it'll take a while...but you'll get it!)**

**Betaed by YukinoKara :)**

**Part 5: Suibou (Collapse)**

**Chapter 30**

**What You Never Knew**

The Byward Market on Monday morning was packed full of people, the bright sun beating down equally on bare heads and covered ones, and demarcating the shadows of the stalls in thick black lines. Some people meandered from one vendor to another; lazy in the sunlight, while others marched with single-minded determination through the streets, heading for what they were looking for like bulldogs for the jugular.

It was, in short, a noisy, crowded, terribly busy place, and Envy didn't like it one bit.

He glanced up at Rose, a few steps in front of him and walking on her tiptoes; dirty, bare feet nimbly dodging every cigarette butt and shard of glass on the asphalt road. _I'm only here 'cause of her, but... _He dragged his gaze away, a smile playing around his lips even as his stomach flipped.

He would have been perfectly happy sleeping the day away, to be honest. For all that the night before felt like a terribly vivid dream, he still found himself shaking, and the knife in his pocket was unbearably heavy.

Still, here he was. Might as well make the best of it.

"Hey! Come help me set up!"

_That and Paninya's using you for slave labour, _he added wryly, letting Paninya shake out the blanket onto the ground before setting down the plastic bags he was holding. "So...how do I..." He indicated with a sweep of his hand.

"Oh, like this." She pulled out one of the folded shirts and shook it out, and then tucked the sleeves behind it, making sure the front was exposed before lying it down on the blanket. "Just make sure each of them are visible – and that you're showing them off, right? Wanna make sure people can see Rose's handiwork."

Envy bent down, tracing the almost-invisible seam that came down from the shirt collar at a perpendicular angle. It would've been hard to imagine that the excitable, rambunctiously silent pixie had done such precise work if he hadn't sat down with her and tried to emulate it - with no success. He'd watched how suddenly she could slip into an intense trance of concentration, focusing on each stitch to the exclusion of almost all else.

_I guess everybody has something._

He felt a hand brush the top of his head, and nearly flinched away before realizing it was Rose, being her usual affectionate self. _I've got to get used to that..._

"Alright, Rose, hon, you go look around - Spiderman and I will take care of stuff here for now."

Envy looked up just as Rose made a happy little noise of consent, and had to look away instantly afterwards, managing not to blush. _So...cute... Wait, hold on _–

"– Spiderman?" he asked as Rose skipped away, watching the pink-haired girl from the corner of his eye as her white dress disappeared into the crowd.

"Hehe. Remember, you claimed to be Spiderman at first?"

"No, I don't remember," muttered Envy embarrassedly. "I was drunk, as you may recall."

"Yes, yes you were." Paninya chuckled as she shook out a mini-dress. "You're entertaining when you're drunk, though. Sure you don't remember anything?"

"_Yes, _I'm _sure. _I'm still not certain how I ended up naked next to Noah..." Envy muttered this last bit, flushing involuntarily.

"Appreciated the view, did you?"

"No! – wait, yes – wait, I don't know the appropriate answer to this, give me a second –"

At Envy's flustered look, Paninya reached over and ruffled his hair, making him scowl reflexively. "I'm kidding with ya, love. I know Doro's more your type – don't go stealing my husband though."

"He is _not,_" protested Envy weakly, although it wasn't like he was lying. Although he had caught sight of a tattoo earlier when Doro was reaching for something that piqued his curiosity – _dammit Julia stop looking, looking turns into touching turns into_ _you're an idiot _–

"Besides," continued Pan on blithely as if Envy hadn't spoken at all, "It's not like anything would have _actually _happened. She's not really into guys outside of work."

"Eh?" Envy blinked, trying to take in this new piece of information.

"Oh, stop looking at me like a confused owl and go look around. You've never been to market before, right? Go have fun."

"Um. Yes. Okay." He hurriedly made his exit, keenly aware of just how bad he was at talking to people.

He missed Ed.

He slowed to a walk amongst the crowd, and then stopped, burying his hands in his pockets as it hit him.

He missed Ed. So much. How many times had he had a witty rejoinder come to him the last few days, only to have it die on his tongue? He just couldn't interact with anybody else the same way – Ling and Russell, perhaps, to a lesser degree, but...

He touched his lips with a little smile, remembering how he had tasted. It had just been a chaste little kiss, nothing major, but even now it sparked and ignited at even a thought.

_I love you._

And suddenly he was tripping over himself again – odd how one could do that while standing still – and clutching at a table to try and stop himself from panicking.

_Where did that come from? _said one part of him.

_It didn't come from anywhere, _replied another part of him. _It's just always been__there._

"Are you alright?" asked somebody, and he was seized with a sudden urge to tell them to butt out of his thoughts, he was busy having a crisis. His better nature won out, though, and he swallowed the lump in his throat, rising to his feet and managing to not topple the table over in the process. He smiled at the person behind it.

"Sorry about that. Just had a... a moment, that's all..." His words faded off as he felt paper under his hand, and looked down. In his stumble, he'd slid his hand into a notebook, and he pulled his hand gently out of the pages, stroking its cover. It was several different shades and patterns of dyed silk, stitched together to make a patchwork design.

The desire to write, to draw, to put something down on paper crawled down his arms, making each of his fingers itch with it. He wanted to draw Ed. He wanted to find some way of saying everything he didn't – couldn't – hadn't – said.

And he could only last _so _long without a notebook – he'd left his old, full one at Ed's, but no matter.

"How much is it?"

The vendor smiled, her teeth surprisingly bright in her black-coffee face. "Fifteen dollars."

His hand flew to his pocket, and then he remembered. He had fifty dollars to his name, and it was in his bag, back in the Sack. And he was a street-person now, he couldn't blow money on little things like notebooks and whatnot. Street-person. It sounded weird, but it was the truth.

He pulled his hands away with a wry smile, shaking his head. Slowly, he walked away, trying to ignore the words filling his head in a nonsensical jumble.

_Apollo_

_ rose in the snow_

_ hands in mine and lips so sweet why did you let me go_

He shook his head again to clear his thoughts, and then looked back at the stall – and with a startle, realized that Rose was now standing by it. The vendor was selling to somebody else on the other side, not paying attention, and with a look at the notebook, then up at him, Rose slid it off the table and into the bag she was carrying with her. With a little grin at him, she fled, and with a bewildered feeling that he really, really didn't know what he was doing, he followed.

"Hey! Thief! Stop them!"

_Oh shit. _He sped up, following the glimmer of white that was Rose's dress through the crowds. It was exhilarating – then again, he almost always felt like that around her. _She's manic or something, I swear _–

Finally, he saw her duck into an alley, and he did the same, turning another corner before he collapsed against the wall, breaths coming hard and fast. He glared up at her.

"What the hell'd you do that for?"

She recoiled slightly with a hurt expression, and then pulled the notebook out again, holding it towards him as she chewed on her nails.

Envy blinked, and then took it, running his hand across the silk. "You – I –" he stuttered, falling over his words again. He took a deep breath. "Th-thank you."

Had she somehow noticed how much he needed a place to scream silently?

Reaching out, he pulled her gently to the ground and into a one-armed hug, kissing the top of her head. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to yell at you."

She made a sound that reminded him of a purr, and a rush of warmth flooded through him, pooling in his stomach. Sweeping her pink bangs to the side, she glanced up at him with an unmistakable look, and she took his jaw in her hand, planting her lips firmly upon his once again.

She pulled away a moment later with a hopeful look – and then climbed onto his lap, sitting astride him. Her expression turned into something else, and very, very slowly, she reached up and slid one strap of her dress off of her shoulder, exposing an expanse of smooth, freckled brown skin.

Envy gulped. _This is a bad idea because... I'm in love with somebody else. Who__isn't here. And is male. And – no, okay, this is a bad idea because I barely know her _–_and, and, and..._

She frowned, and pressed a hand against his chest, feeling for his heartbeat. It was quick, and sped up at her touch, making her smile.

"I-I-" he stammered, but soon fell silent again as Rose slipped off the other strap and let the top of her dress fall to her waist. With a sensation almost like elastic snapping, he gripped her hips and brought her forward, whispering, "Well, alright, sweetie - if ya think you can handle it."

By the time he discovered that Rose wasn't wearing panties, he was too far gone to realize that this time, at least, he probably shouldn't have let Julia take over.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Edo?"<p>

Ed sighed. "Yes, Ling?"

"I'd like to remind you one last time that you're a dumbass."

He groaned, rolling his eyes. "And I'd like to tell you one last time, kindly, to _fuck __off and leave me alone."_

Ling smiled, swinging an arm over Ed's shoulders. "But _chibi-chan, _how could I do such a thing? I've known you long enough that it's my job to tell you when you've been a stupid-head."

"And once again my boyfriend's wonderful grasp of the complexities of the English language presents itself," quipped Russell, earning himself a poke in the ribs from the insulted (if not altogether offended) party.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, I fucked up. I'll get an earful from Al and the bastard when I get home as well – so can you give it a _rest?" _snarled Ed, ignoring Russell's attempt to lighten the mood.

Ling looked bemused for a moment, and then gave his best Cheshire Cat smile. "I really should, shouldn't I? After all, you decked that _teme _Kimbley. I wonder why we've been putting it off so long –"

"He said he wouldn't care if Envy killed himself," murmured Ed, almost quiet enough to be lost in the bustling ambiance of the lunchroom. Almost.

Ling drew back, grin vanishing like smoke. His eyes opened, a sliver of colour appearing beneath his lids, and with a playful sheen over a dangerously dark tone, he said, "Well. That's not good."

"He's claiming Envy made out with him while dressed up as Julia." Ed shrugged. "Doesn't sound right, but that's what he says..." He sighed, resting his head in his hands and his elbows on the table. "I mean, him being fooled by a drag queen –" he grinned at that – "He's dumb enough for that, but Envy? The idea of Envy with- with _anybody _is a little bit weird."

If Ling had been a little bit luckier, Ed a bit slower on the uptake or Russell a bit less observant, the rest of the day might have passed without major incident. However, as Ling suddenly blanched, Russell raised an eyebrow, then sighed in his aristocratic (and so very put on) way. "I'd ask for a list, but I get enough reading material as it is without adding another novel."

Ed looked up at Ling, uncomprehending for a moment – but then it dawned. "You–"

Ling held up his hands, trying for an innocent face. "I – plead the fifth?"

"You _slept _with _Envy?" _he hissed incredulously.

"Not nearly that far! Just... some... stuff..." Ling's eyes flickered between his best friend and boyfriend, one shaking with anger, and the other just looking bored and skeptical. "Y'know, usually this is the other way around –"

"How could you – what – I don't even understand how – WHY?"

"Uh, because he's hot, and he digs me? And I dig him? And fooling around is fun?" Ling shrugged, unconsciously sliding away from Ed. "You're... taking this pretty personally."

"No I'm not!"

Russell leaned out from the table, looking at Ed from behind Ling's back. "Uh. Hate to be that guy. But yeah. You are."

"I –" Ed closed his mouth, trying not to grit his teeth. "But – Envy? He isn't – he doesn't – he's _straight!"_

A look that could have been either sadness or disappointment crossed Ling's face. "Yeah, we _all _were at some point," he muttered.

"But – Envy..." Ed gulped. "He's got... issues with it."

_It's not natural!_

Even remembering it made his stomach tighten. They'd apologized. They'd made up. They'd put it behind them –

– but Envy hadn't taken it back.

_It's not natural!_

Ed couldn't blame him. Ed couldn't hold it against him (not with Greed, not with Wrath, not with that frightened look always hiding just behind his eyes). But he could sure as hell still hurt.

Especially when Envy's kiss still lingered on his lips, intoxicating him in a way it really, _really _shouldn't.

"Yeah, I know."

His head snapped up to look at Ling again. "_What?"_

Ling rolled his eyes. "I was there, remember, _baka? _And let me tell you, he didn't sound all that different from you back when you first came out to me."

Ed scowled. "That's _completely _diff –"

"No, it's not." Ling rubbed his temples. He always looked so old when he got serious, and he sounded it too. "He was _scared, _Ed. Just like you."

_"Ling, I think something's wrong with me..."_

Ed subsided into silence, but Ling wasn't done.

"You want to know what happened, Ed? Envy had a panic attack after I teased him one too many times. Freaked out. I think I can guess why – you really want to think Kimbley has the smarts to make something like that up? He was terrified. I kissed him. I let him know he wasn't wrong, or broken, and I showed him that it would be okay." There was an edge to Ling's voice, tempered with a wistful softness. "Sound familiar?" He reached down and put his hand over Ed's, lacing his fingers in with the other boy's.

Ed looked down at their hands for a moment, heart skipping a few beats at the unexpected feeling of skin on skin. "Yeah... but..." He swallowed, and then pulled his hand away. "It..." It came out as less than a murmur. "It was supposed to be me..."

He walked away, so many feelings storming in his chest it was impossible to pick one. He needed – he needed –

Not a knife. No. It wouldn't help this time.

Not pills.

He needed...

He needed to understand.

_Forget class. I'm going home._

* * *

><p>Russell had known Ling Yao for almost two years, and in all that time, he'd never even begun to understand him. He'd fallen for him, of course. Who wouldn't?<p>

But ever since he'd seen Ling first be serious – ever since he'd learned _why _there was that subtle tension between the two boys – he'd suddenly realized that there was a whole side to him he'd never seen, never even _guessed _at. Ling was the hyperactive, dirty-minded joker, the one who was always smiling, the one who'd screwed his way through most of the school.

Ling didn't bury his head in his hands and slump like somebody with the weight of the world on his back.

Ling didn't rub discreetly at his nose like he might be close to tears.

Ling didn't –

Russell looked around out of habit, and then mentally kicked himself before sliding an arm awkwardly around Ling's waist, kissing the top of his head. "H-how about we take a walk?"

"Hehe. Sure, _mabui-chan._" The cheerfulness was faked, Russell could hear that now. _How did I miss it?_

Then again, he'd never known that Ed was any more than a grumpy punk kid.

_So much for best friend, _muttered one part of him. But it was quickly silenced by the realization that it wasn't to trick him or to have a private little joke that they kept themselves hidden away.

It was because – and Russell _knew _this – strength was everything.

_Boys don't cry._

He took Ling's hand in his, possibly a little too firmly, and led him out of the lunchroom, pulling him down the hallway until he found one of the doors that led outside.

"Soooo where are we going?"

Russell didn't respond, pulling Ling outside and letting the door slam shut as he wrapped his arms around his lover's waist and pulled him close, pushing the taller boy's head onto his shoulder.

There was nothing for a moment, and Russell started to wonder if he'd done the wrong thing – when suddenly, Ling was hugging him back, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "Thanks," he murmured, and it came out muffled and broken.

Russell could feel how he was shaking in his arms.

Ling was crying.

* * *

><p>Once again, the silence hit him as he opened the door. The bastard was off doing god-knows-what, Al and Wrath were at school, and Envy was... somewhere.<p>

_Somewhere._

_ It would be so much easier if I knew... If I could be certain he wasn't lying in a dumpster with his wrists or his throat slit or at the bottom of the river or in a morgue somewhere _–

Ed slapped himself sharply, taking a deep breath as he tried to clear his head. He had two and a half hours left with the house to himself, and he was going to use it.

"Fuck... I dunno where to start..." he mumbled to himself, and then giggled a little helplessly. For all that he loved Envy, he didn't understand him one bit. He didn't understand why he'd left, didn't understand why he'd kissed him, didn't understand the whole business with Kimbley and _Ling _–

"Uggggh." He wandered aimlessly into the kitchen, and once there, decided that he needed some water. _Ling's right, _he admitted with a bit more bitterness than necessary. _He was scared, and – and – I guess I wasn't approachable enough. _He brought the glass to his lips, and then another voice joined his clamouring thoughts, breaking out from the crowd of insensible musings.

_How weren't you approachable? _it spat. _You saved his life, you gave him a place to stay, you were so, so, so close _–

"To what?" Ed responded out loud, his rational side taking control of his mouth. "Fucking him? That's not what I want – okay, well, not all I want. And I completely dead-zoned him after..." His mouth went dry, and he quickly swallowed some water. "After we fought," he whispered afterwards.

_You were in the right! You had every right to be offended, after __him__ saying you weren't natural, that _–He was getting worked up.

Ed's rational side forced him to take a deep breath.

"I should have known," he said out loud, a sigh lacing his words with wistfulness. "I mean, nobody actually believed he was straight..."

_You just convinced yourself, or tried, so you wouldn't get your heart broken._

"Fat lotta good that did," he snarled. "I still should have known. But I was too busy fantasizing about him to actually think about that. I could have helped." He groaned. "I just wish he wasn't so hard to– to read – oh I'm a dumbass."

Five minutes later he was holding Envy's notebook in his hands, remembering over and over again the night he'd left, the night he'd been left standing with a kiss burning his lips and words burning his ears and a hole burning its way through his chest.

_One page left._

"Last time you left this here, you wanted me to read it," murmured Ed, a little guiltily. "I hope the same still goes."

He let it fall open in his hands.

* * *

><p>The call came just in time to ruin Riza Hawkeye's day.<p>

She wasted no time in letting Olivier and Miles know, and the curses that streamed from the Armstrong woman's mouth had never been paralleled in the police station before.

The details of the call, the strange tone in Roy Mustang's voice when he'd called, the reasoning behind it – all of those were secondary, really. What mattered was that Envy Angevin was gone, and with him, the best lead they had on Maes Hughes's murderer.


	31. The Quiet Sense of Something Lost

**So So So SO SO SO SO SO I bet some of you were totes paying attention and realized that on the 3rd – so, like, a week ago – SNEA celebrated its FIRST BIRTHDAY :D :D :D Yep, I've been chugging away on this baby for a year now! I may write a little special something just to celebrate, I should have paid more attention and posted it on the anniversary but eh, whatevs. Better late than never. Thank you everyone for reading, reviewing, following, favouriting and just generally giving me a little bit of hope that maybe my writing is worthwhile **

**As many of you are probably aware, this is barely fanfiction anymore. Sure, there's some references here and there but honestly? This is a rough draft for what will later be a novel. I will absolutely finish this, because people seem to love it, but be aware that it's not gonna get any more canon-like.**

**As for this chapter: Omg I love writing conversations so much. Dialogues are just the best kind of writing. Sooo forgive me my indulgence :B**

**I don't advocate smoking, but let's be realistic, considering who these people are it'd be unrealistic not to include it. But don't do it. It sucks and is reeeeally expensive and will do bad things to your lungs.**

**The chapter title is a quote from Alfred Tennyson. **

**aikouka: lover**

**onegai: please**

**ashikarazu: I'm sorry**

**mabui-chan: sweetheart**

**Part 5: Suibou (Collapse)**

**Chapter 31**

**The Quiet Sense of Something Lost**

When Van Hohenheim had gotten the news from Trisha Elric that she was pregnant, his first reaction had been _I'm not ready. _He'd been thirty-two years old but still felt like eighteen, lost and not quite ready for real life. And he'd avoided it, until now.

She'd been the opposite - physically young but old beyond her years. It was only natural then, that she was glowing at the news while his hands shook and he tried to clear his head. He'd tried to be dependable, but at the end of the day the same mantra - _I'm not ready - _had dogged his heels. He'd always come back from each of his trips and excursions, because he loved her, he needed her, but at the end of the day Van Hohenheim was not father material.

It had cost him her last moments. And now, as he leaned against the doorway and looked over at his son, who had fallen asleep with a book open on his chest, he realized it had cost him a lot more than that. Ed looked like him - hell, that didn't communicate how much they shared. But even when Hohenheim had been home, he hadn't seen his temper, his wanderlust, his hope... He just hadn't paid attention. And now Ed was seventeen and Hohenheim had missed out on almost everything.

"Turn around and you're two, turn around and you're four..." he murmured, his chest suddenly feeling very tight. He took the few steps over to where Ed was sprawled on what had been Envy's bed, hand a few inches away from his arm to shake him awake, and then stopped as he looked at the notebook. Easing it out from between his hand and chest, Hohenheim took a look at what Ed was reading - and couldn't help a smile.

It was a gorgeous, dark, real sketch of Wrath. 'Sketch' didn't really do it justice - it felt like the boy was there, staring at him with those searching, unforgiving eyes.

"You didn't draw this," murmured Hohenheim. Ed couldn't draw to save his life, that was one thing he _did _know about his son. Even if he could, he couldn't draw this.

His smile faded as he flipped through the notebook, and after a few pages, he closed it. It wasn't his place to be looking at this. Carefully, he laid it back down on Ed's chest - only for his son's hand to dart up and close around his wrist.

Hohenheim glanced up, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights or a boy with his hand in the cookie jar as Ed stared at him, taking in the whole scene. Finally, Ed let go of his wrist and snatched the notebook away with a snarl. "Why the _fuck _are you reading that?"

"I...I was curious -"

"Fuck off," snarled Ed, clutching the notebook to his chest and rolling over. Hohenheim was just about ready to walk away, but he stopped himself. That was his _usual _solution, and well, it hadn't been working so well so far.

Instead, he pulled up a chair and sat down, trying to look as calm as he could while racking his brain for something to say. _How on earth did Trisha manage this? _"That's...um...that's Envy's, isn't it?"

"How'd you guess?" muttered Ed.

"Well, it has a picture of Wrath, and you're being rather protective of it -"

"That was _sarcasm, _bastard."

"...Oh." Hohenheim scratched the back of his neck, still thinking. "Wanna talk?"

"Yes, because swearing at you really indicates I wanna talk about my feelings. Damn, you really are useless."

_Ouch. That one stung. _"Ed, I saw enough of those pictures to...I..." He took a deep breath. "Can you please explain to me, straight out, why Envy and Wrath have been staying here? I think I know. But please, look me in the eye and tell me."

Ed was so quiet and still that for a moment, Hohenheim thought he'd gone back to sleep. Then, he rolled over and sat up, staring at his feet for a moment - he looked astonishingly young, nothing like the hardened, bitter teenager Hohenheim had gotten used to.

"I..." He cleared his throat, and then looked up at his father, embarrassed and awkward. "...You'll think I'm stupid. For getting involved."

"Foolhardy, maybe. Not stupid." Hohenheim smiled. "Besides, doing the right thing always means taking some risks."

To Hohenheim's amazement, Ed's face lit up, and he returned the smile, although still with a fair bit of awkwardness. "They...at home...it's - not good. Envy was coming over here with bruises. I ended up, um -" Ed chuckled sheepishly, "-um, intervening, I guess?" He dropped the smile. "Wrath got hurt. I took care of him." Ed shook his head slowly. "I couldn't let them go _back. _They didn't want to go to the police either - so, well..."

"Julia and Sharon." Hohenheim shook his head. "Saw it in a movie somewhere, did you?"

Ed shrugged. "Usually if an idea's too stupid to work, Al talks me out of it, and he didn't, so I figured it'd be fine. And it was! People are dumb, apparently."

"Al's _fourteen."_

"Well, when you put it like that I just sound irresponsible..."

Hohenheim reached forward and tapped Ed lightly on the cheek - just a tap, affectionate and light and tender, but enough to make Ed blink in surprise. "You are irresponsible," he said gently, "but only because lying to the police is an offence, although from the sounds of it none of the people down at the station are interested in charging any of you."

"Yeah, I figured it wasn't legal -"

"Did you look up what the usual sentence for obstruction of justice is, Ed?" When Ed bit his lip, blood draining from his face, Hohenheim continued, "It can be as much as two years."

"...Oh. I didn't know." It came out as little more than a whisper, and Hohenheim only let Ed stew for a few seconds before moving over the bed and giving him a hug. He was shocked at how readily the boy accepted it, but decided just to count his blessings.

"I didn't mean to scare you, it's just..." Hohenheim swallowed. "Things like this are complicated."

"Think I don't know that? What else was I supposed to do?"

"Talked them into going to the police, perhaps." At Ed's snort, Hohenheim poked him in the chest. "Hey, I used to be your age too, remember? I know how it goes - they're just donut-eating pigs out to ruin everybody's fun. Except you knew Hughes, and now you know the others, too. Hardly the demons you thought, are they?"

"...'msorry..."

Belatedly, Hohenheim realized his chat was having the opposite effect he'd wanted. "No, no, that's not what I - Listen - I would have done...well, maybe not the _exact _same thing, when I was your age I didn't even realize boys _could _like other boys - I -"

Ed gave Hohenheim a light punch to the stomach. "Shut up, bastard. I get it. You're just digging yourself deeper."

"...Alright." _Phew. _"You did a good job. And one last thing...I know it's a _bit _different, but..." Hohenheim took a deep breath, and hoped to high heaven he didn't screw _this _part up - "The way you're feeling right now? I know how you feel."

"Don't say that. You don't know how I feel."

"Maybe that was the wrong way to put it." He swallowed, and ruffled Ed's hair, realizing that it was still hard to think about. "...Sometimes, though, I think you forget that I've been in love too."

It was almost funny seeing how quickly Ed's head snapped up towards him, his eyes widening in realization. "I...yeah." His hands tightened on the notebook. "Sorry. I guess it just...never occurred to me."

"You miss him every day. You think about your last kiss every time you take a breath. It feels like there's a hole in your heart a million miles deep. It feels like the house is emptier than it's ever been, and it doesn't matter who else is around because it's not _them."_

Ed's lips parted in shock, and then he lowered his head, shoulders shaking as he tried not to cry. Hohenheim lifted his hands from his shoulders briefly, hovering a little, unsure what to do, and then he pulled Ed into his chest, letting him cry. Part of him wanted to discount the whole thing as teenage puppy love gone wrong, but he knew how hypocritical it would be. Trisha had been eighteen when they'd met, even if it hadn't started off romantically, and she'd sworn that she'd loved him since then. Seventeen wasn't a child anymore.

Ed was growing up - and this time, he was going to be there. He wasn't going to let his children down again.

A moment later, Ed pushed him away, rubbing resolutely at his eyes. "You tell Al about that and I _will _kill you."

"I'm here for you when you need me, Ed."

Ed gave him a wary look, wiping his nose. "You promise?"

"I promise. And hey, I'm getting the hang of this gay thing!"

He snorted. "Bastard."

* * *

><p>The minute the last bell rang, Russell didn't give Ling a chance to slink away - he took his hand resolutely and started leading him down the road.<p>

"Heyy, _mabui-chan, _where ya taking me?"

Russell grinned. "Feel like a sleepover?"

It was wonderful to be the one to make _Ling _blush for once. "Ah, I don't know, _omoimono -_" He was cut off by a kiss, and he started grinning the moment Russell pulled away, although tempered with a bit of confusion. "...You want something, don't you?"

"Yes. Three guesses what. Come on, we can order pizza, and Fletcher's off at someone else's house." Suddenly Russell flushed red. "And I hope nobody saw that because I may have to catch the next plane back to London if they did."

Ling laughed, wrapping his arm around Russ's waist and kissing his nose. "You are _adorable._"

"...Shut up." The bus pulled up, and unwilling to let go of Ling's hand, Russell pulled him on board, not meeting the driver's eyes as he handed him four tickets. Ling gave the driver a cheeky grin, before Russell tugged him along with an embarrassed grumble. "C'mon, you."

Stealing the window seat, Ling tried to pull Russell onto his lap, but the blond resolutely plonked himself down into the other seat. "Not in _public."_

"Why not?"

"You _know _why not," he murmured back, although he squeezed Ling's hand in apology. "Last thing I want to do is attract attention."

Ling's face fell a little, and then he stroked the back of Russell's hand with his thumb, rubbing in soft, slow circles. "You know," he said after a moment, "this is Ottawa, not London. We're not going to get beaten up for being a little lovey in public."

Russell relaxed a little - but only a little. "I wish I knew that for sure."

He leant in close, so close his lips brushed against Russell's ear and started making him nervous about who was watching again, and whispered, "_Aishiteru_."

"I..." Russell swallowed. He wasn't quite ready to say it yet, not out loud - and not here. But... "You too." It was almost too quiet to be heard, but Ling seemed to hear it anyway, looking out the window to hide his smile. Russell supposed they were doing the same thing anyway. Saying it in another language - dancing around it with a carefully-worded reply -

Ah well. They'd get there eventually.

* * *

><p>Noah was dancing again. This time she wasn't singing, just letting the music tell her what to do. The lights made her look thinner than she was, too, harsh colours outlining every rib that poked through her tight red dress. She gave almost all her food to Rose. She thought he didn't notice.<p>

It was amazing, though, how she slipped and glided around the pole like it was a part of her, eyes closed and braids dancing just a millisecond behind her. Everybody's eyes were fixed on her, they couldn't look away, and she was the center of attention. Beautiful.

Envy took a few nervous steps forward, and the crowd parted in front of him - then suddenly, started pushing him from behind. "H-hey, wait! Hold on!" And then he was at the front of the crowd and she was looking down at him. Suddenly Envy realized it wasn't Noah up there, it was Rose, and _what was she doing - _he knew, didn't quite know why but knew that even if Noah could Rose couldn't, wasn't right, wasn't okay -

- and then he was stumbling up the steps, on his hands and knees on the wooden boards, staring at the crowd that was staring back at him, and his hair was hanging long and loose. Rose helped him up and suddenly it was Noah again, but she was dusting him off and adjusting his skirt and fixing his heels. "You can do it, love."

"Wh-what? What am I doing?"

"Just dance. They'll love you."

_But I'm a guy, they don't wanna watch me_

He - no, _she, _because, when he had these clothes on he was Julia or the police would find her and lock her away with the scary men - she took a hold of the pole, took a look at the crowd and let the music take her. _She was okay. _She was going to be _fine. _This was - this was _easy._

And god, it felt good. They were all looking at her. They wanted her. She could feel her stomach light on fire just at the thought of all the men licking their lips, thinking about what they wanted to do to her, their cocks getting hard in their jeans - perhaps their hands sliding down discreetly while she danced -

She looked up. In the back of the room, golden eyes glazed over as he watched her writhe, was Ed.

* * *

><p>A second later, Envy's eyes snapped open. He was sweating buckets. His head was reeling. And he was harder than he'd ever been.<p>

* * *

><p>It was dusk and the stars were starting to come out, studding a purpling sky. Ling laid back on the rooftop, eyes open and watching the sunset as Russell came up beside him.<p>

"Like the view?"

Ling turned his head a little, looking up at Russell. "Mmhm."

He snorted. "Pervert." He handed him a can of pop then sat down next to him, absentmindedly reaching over and scratching Ling's stomach. "You alright?"

"...Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Ling grinned half-heartedly, trying to make up for the fact that he'd hesitated a little too long. Russell gave him a disbelieving look, and then lay down, staring up at the sky. Before long, his usual worried frown had smoothed out into a contented smile.

"Mm. C'mere." Ling circled his arm around Russell's shoulder and pulled him close, nestling his blond head into the crook of his neck. "Nobody's watching now." Snuggling into Ling's chest with a happy murmur, he didn't seem inclined to disagree, and Ling couldn't help but run his hands through his hair, playing with the strands and enjoying how Russell relaxed under his touch.

The peace couldn't last though. Russell lifted his head, blue eyes meeting Ling's dark ones. "So...what was that about?"

"What was what about?"

Russell groaned, letting his head fall back onto Ling's chest. "You know what I'm - _Ed."_ When Ling looked away, staying obstinately silent, Russell sat up with a hiss of frustration. "What happened to no more secrets?"

"I -"

Russell punched Ling's shoulder, making the other boy wince. "You were getting all touchy with _him, _and - honestly, I don't care about the Envy thing, but it would have been nice to have _known!_"

Ling glared up at the blond, rubbing his shoulder ruefully. "What makes you think it's any of your business? And we had a nice moment going, what'd you have to go ruin it for?"

"I..." He sighed. "Please, can you just...explain?" He rubbed his eyebrow nervously. He'd been hoping it wouldn't turn into another fight, but Ling was still, well, _Ling. _"You're leaving me out of the loop again and I _don't like it. _So just tell me what the hell's going on."

Ling pouted slightly, although his expression was less petulant and more...wistful, might have been the word for it. "But...I don't wanna..."

"Stop being a brat!"

"Fine, fine..." Ling sat up, rubbing his head and still refusing to look at Russell. "Look, I..." It faded off into another sigh. "I already _told _you," he muttered, this time a little petulantly.

Russell closed his eyes, trying to stop the jealousy that was threatening to take over. "You told me you..." He couldn't quite get it out - it was such an alien thought, and from his lips it would sound too much like an accusation.

"That I took advantage of him. Yeah."

"But - what you said today -"

Ling seemed close to tears again. "Russell, they're not mutually exclusive. He was figuring himself out - hell, he was ready to put himself back in the ward over it, he _needed _me. He needed me to tell him everything was going to be alright." He slammed his fist against his forehead. "Didn't need me trying to get into his pants..."

"I..." Russell swallowed. "I-it seems to have worked out okay -"

"No it fucking _hasn't, _don't you get it? Ed got obsessed. I broke his heart. And then I can't help myself - I get affectionate again - and it's not _fair _to him..." In a low undertone, he added, "It's not fair to me either. Just can't stop..."

There was a little wrenching feeling in Russell's chest, but he tried to ignore it. Ling was still talking. It made him wonder when the last time he'd actually _talked _about anything was.

"I-I guess I did the same thing with Envy, too...shit, I hope I'm not part of the reason he left..." Ling shook his head, and he tugged at his ponytail. "You know what the problem is, _mabui-chan?_"

"What?" It came out more wooden than he'd meant, but Ling didn't seem to notice.

"I'm...I'm good-looking. I'm charming. I know what to say to people." At Russell's astonished sputter, Ling backtracked. "I'm not trying to be a pompous ass! But it's true!"

"Yes, because you've been so charming and eloquent with me in the past."

Ling huffed, although he was smiling. "Just means you're so awesome you knock me off my game."

"Shut up. So that's why you think you're doing something bad?"

Ling nodded, his smile fading. "Ed and Envy, they...they were the same, really. They were...confused, panicky, they - they came to me for help, I charmed them, got them into bed... That's pretty scummy." He shook his head. "That's pretty fucking scummy. _Kuso._"

"Yet you've done it twice."

"More than twice. S'only twice that I haven't had the option of leaving in the morning." Ling lowered his head between his knees, covering his head with his hands. "You must hate me so much," he whispered.

Russell sat back, lost for words. "I...I don't," he said first. "I don't hate you."

"Why not? I do."

And just like that, whatever it was that had been holding Russell back - annoyance, fear, jealousy - disappeared. Uncertainly, with a tenderness he wasn't used to displaying, he took Ling's hand and pulled the other boy towards him, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing the top of his head. "_I don't," _he repeated insistently. He could see where tears were tracing silvery trails down Ling's cheek.

"You..." He swallowed, and suddenly his eyes were burning too (_not right now, it's not about me_), when he murmured, "You care about Ed, that's why it's still killing you that you hurt him. You love him, don't you?" He pretended his heart wasn't breaking when Ling nodded, just the slightest incline of his head. "If you didn't, then you wouldn't care at all. And you...you care about Envy, too, yeah? You haven't been a mess like Ed has, but you haven't been right either." Ling started at that, and Russell allowed himself a wry smile. "_Yes, _I _noticed. _I'm the perceptive one, remember? That's my job while the rest of you are off screwing everything with a heartbeat and yelling at each other."

"Oh...Yeah, it is, isn't it? Thought Brits were the scrappy ones."

"Shut up, you silly twat!" Russell's voice broke, and Ling looked up at him, startled.

"Oh, _aikouka_," he whispered regretfully, reaching up to brush a thumb across Russell's face, trying to wipe the tears away that, despite Russell's best efforts, had started to fall. "_Ashikarazu, onegai... _please...don't cry, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make you -"

Russell batted Ling's hand away, harder than he'd meant to. "Stop it! I -" He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. He kept them closed. "You...you love _everybody, _Ling."

"Not quiiite, I mean, I sure as hell don't love Kimbley -"

"You know what I mean. You're like a...a prince, you think you're responsible for everybody's wellbeing no matter what. You're like Ed, except Ed is really, really bad at it." Russell opened one eye at Ling's spluttered laughter, and despite the broiling in his chest, cracked a smile. "Maybe that was unfair. But half the time people don't even _know _you're taking care of them. Like when I first came here, when I first met you... I couldn't figure out why nobody was picking on me. Didn't realize you were scaring them off."

"Damn, you _did _figure it out. Wasn't just me, ya know, Ed did that too -"

"That's not my point."

Ling cocked his head, his loosened ponytail falling over his shoulder. "Then what is it?" He stroked Russell's cheek again, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. "Why are you so sad?"

"If you love everybody, what makes me special?" Russell braced himself for the silence, that or the only possible answer.

Instead, Ling chuckled, leaning forward and brushing his lips lightly against Russell's. "You called me a prince, eh? I guess I am. But around you? Around you I'm nothing more than a fool."

* * *

><p>The first thing Envy did was rid himself of his shirt - Noah's tanktop was soaked through with sweat. He threw it to the side, and then shivered at the touch of spring air on his bare chest.<p>

Chest.

He looked down, and in the grogginess of half-sleep, was almost surprised to see his usual skinny nothingness. He even ran a hand across it to check he wasn't hallucinating - then shook his head, giving himself a sharp rap on the temple. _Wake UP, dumbass. _

Still...It had...Well, he'd _dreamt _it had felt nice. Which was quite a different thing, really. Honest.

The part of him that he seriously suspected was a sign of early schizophrenia whispered seductively, _Noah has aaaall sorts of clothes in the back of her car, and she's fast asleep, and Pan and Rose are still at market..._

Rose. Now _that _made him feel guilty. He'd run off moments after they'd rejoined Pan, making some excuse about being tired or having a headache - he honestly didn't remember _what _he'd said - and the look on her face had followed him all the way back. It was amazing how loudly a mute girl could ask, _was I not good enough?_

"No," he grumbled to himself, "that's not it, I just wasn't expecting to lose my virginity in an alley to someone I've known for..." He paused. He'd lost track of the days.

_You shouldn't be talking to yourself out loud, you know. Somebody might hear._

"Shut up, Julia. The only thing you're good for is reminding me I'm crazy."

_And the one talking to himself is...?_

"Technically, I'm talking to _you, _so shouldn't that be a 'her'?"

Julia was suddenly silent, and a prickle went up Envy's spine as he started to explore the implications of that - then promptly turned his mind to other things, namely the clothes in Noah's back seat. Noah herself was curled up in the front seat.

_I'm an idiot... I don't need to hide any more, what's the point? _He ran his fingers over one of the long peasant skirts, similar to the ones Noah wore. The bottom was ragged - he supposed Rose hadn't gotten around to hemming it yet - but it was a rich purple with silver designs on it that reminded him of the mandalas he'd once seen in a book. He didn't put it on, just held it for a while before setting it aside.

Envy turned around, staring at his bare feet as they kneaded the dirt by the side of the car. "What's wrong with me?" he whispered.

The dream came back to him, the music (like no music he'd ever heard) beating a tattoo on his heart.

_Nothing. Nothing at all, _whispered Julia.

He picked up a black shirt, a halter-top Noah had picked up somewhere or other, and pulled it over his head before looking quickly around and unbuttoning his jeans. It was weird looking at his legs after the dream, seeing just how skinny they were, covered with fine, almost invisible blond hairs.

He gave himself another thwack on the head and stepped into the skirt, letting it rest on his hips. _Kinda long.. Then again, I'm used to miniskirts and dresses. And it's pretty. _Unbidden, a grin spread across his face, and he lifted his arms above his head, closed his eyes and twirled around. He could feel the skirt billow out around him, his bare feet on the dirt, it all felt so... _natural._

And then he opened his eyes to see Dorochet staring at him, an inch away from dropping his cigarette onto the floor of his truck.

"...Am-am I interrupting something?"

Envy turned very white. Then very red. "..."

He cleared his throat. "If - if ya'd like me to go away, I can do that -"

Trying to suppress the flush that was now making his face feel rather like a fireplace, Envy strode across the middle of the Sack, reached up and plucked Doro's cigarette out of his hand. "Gimme that," he snarled halfheartedly and rather belatedly, before sitting down on the ground and taking a puff - and immediately starting to cough his lungs out.

What was worse was Doro was _laughing._

"How do you -" he hacked again, spitting something that looked remarkably like ash onto the ground - "how do you _stand _this stuff?!"

"It's an acquired taste." Envy would have been only too happy to relinquish the cigarette back to Dorochet, but instead the older man pulled out another from his pocket. "Everyone pulls that face on their first one, but it helps ya relax after a little bit." He laughed. "Course, I don't think I could quit if I tried, but whatever." He took a long, slow, drag and exhaled, before looking down at Envy with an unreadable look. "So. Kid."

"Stop calling me that," muttered Envy. "You can't be _that _much older than me."

"I'm thirty-three."

"...Oh." Envy looked down at his hands, which were twisting in his lap and fiddling with the fabric of his skirt.

Dorochet leant down, placing a hand on Envy's bare shoulder and making the teen jump. "Ya look nice."

"Wh-what?"

"I mean it. It's..." He wiggled his head a little. "...um, unusual, I guess? But looks good."

To his horror, Envy realized he was blushing again, and he took another experimental puff on the cigarette he was still holding, hoping his resultant wheezes would distract Dorochet from the line of conversation...but no such luck. He was easing down next to him, looking...almost _concerned, _actually, with a good dose of curiosity.

"I was wonderin' why y'were out here alone. I mean - in general, not just today. I mean, we know fuck-all about ya except that you got issues. But we all do, so we ain't gonna hold it against you." Dorochet patted Envy's knee. "I know you probably ain't too keen on telling me much but a little'd be nice. Least now I know you look _damn _good in a dress."

Envy glanced up. "I guess you, uh, already figured out some of it," he murmured shamefully.

"That you're gay?"

"I'm _not!" _Envy quailed under Dorochet's disbelieving look. "Just...uh...part-time."

"Part-time? And what does that mean to us common folk?"

He punched his shoulder with a scowl. "Stop _teasing."_

Doro laughed, rubbing his shoulder ruefully. "It's just funny how serious you are about it."

"It _is _serious!"

"Not that serious. I fucked a dude once."

Oh, Envy _hated _how much he perked up at that. "H-how'd that go?" _I'm not curious though, not in the least and DAMN IT BRAIN STOP THINKING ABOUT LING -_

Doro pulled a face. "It...went _okay. _Wouldn't do it again. I was curious and horny and there wasn't an abundance of ladies - end of the day I'm straight though, just with the experience to back it up."

"It went okay? How are you straight if it wasn't awful?"

He chuckled at that. "Guy had a mouth like a vacuum cleaner." He took one look at Envy's face and rolled his eyes. "Don't look so _horrified! _Don't tell me you're a virgin..."

"Ye -" He cut himself off. "No," he corrected with a squeak.

Doro raised an eyebrow. "Girl or boy?"

"G-girl. Anyway, you wanted to know why I'm here or something - No, wait, that was a terrible segue, I don't want to talk about that either -" He hissed at Doro, trying to make him stop laughing. "Am I really _that _amusing?"

"If I say yes, will you smack me again?"

"Probably."

Doro reached over and scratched the back of Envy's head, while Envy pretended he wasn't enjoying it. "So you like dressing in girl's clothes - your folks weren't so keen on the idea?"

"No, that's not it. I left for other reasons. This was just a side-effect." Envy glared suspiciously at the cigarette in his hand. "I think I'm doing this wrong."

Doro adjusted Envy's grip on it slightly, leaning over...and then turned his face slightly towards the younger boy's.

Envy's bloodflow suddenly got very confused about which way it should be going. Despite knowing it was foolish, he leant a little forward, brushing his lips ever so lightly over Dorochet's -

The man sprung backwards as if he'd been burned. Envy's heart dropped into his stomach and he ducked his head. "Sorry," he whispered, flinching.

"Don't worry about it." Dorochet hopped to his feet and offered his hand. "Ya wanted to learn how to fight, didn't you?"

"How to use a knife."

"You'll wanna learn how to scrap first." Doro eyed Envy's clothing. "I'd change the skirt, though."

"O-okay -" Envy started to stammer, and then tried again. "Yeah, you have a point. Give me a second."

He walked over to Noah's car again, suddenly horribly self-aware of everything around him to the point where it was painful - the cold dirt pricking his feet, the fabric brushing against the hair of his legs -

He crawled into the car and changed back into his jeans quickly, trying to numb his mind and only partway succeeding. "Okay, got it."

Dorochet gave him a half-smile, but even that faded as he looked Envy up and down. Something - he didn't know what - built in his chest, and he felt himself start to shiver from something that wasn't cold.

Suddenly Dorochet grabbed his hand and pulled Envy towards him. For a second all Envy could see were two faces superimposed over his - _purple eyes - long hair - white suit - sharp teeth - I - can't -_

"Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" Dorochet asked incredulously, no shortage of sadness in his voice.

"No," replied Envy, and it sounded honest enough. It was the biggest lie he'd ever told.

* * *

><p>"You know," murmured Russell into Ling's bare chest as they lay sprawled on the rooftop, enjoying the warm night, "I think we got really oversold on high school."<p>

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I was expecting cheerleaders, jocks and drinking games."

Ling laughed. "Instead we got crossdressers, policemen and exploding cars."

"Do you think it's like this for everybody?"

Ling looked down and kissed Russell, his hand venturing downwards again before he said as seriously as he could manage, "I hope not. The world can only take so much."

Russell wiggled under Ling's touch, turning red and gasping a little, nipping at his lover's earlobe. After a moment though, he asked with all the seriousness that the other had feigned, "What do you think's going to happen next?"

"I - I don't know. I guess it's just waiting, now." Ling nestled his fingers in his boyfriend's thatch of blonde hair. "Best enjoy it while it lasts, _ne?_"

It was the calm before the storm - and a long calm, too - but it wouldn't last forever.


	32. Snegurochka

**UNBETAED**

**Accck! I'm sorry! I made you wait again! Things have been rough :C I enjoy this chapter though. Sloth is cool. **

**The date in-story is currently June 1st. **

**I have way too much fun with chapter titles. Cookies to anybody who knows what it is/means without looking it up. **

**Part 5: Suibou (Collapse)**

**Chapter 32**

**Snegurochka**

It was far too nice out to be burying somebody, reflected Wrath with more than his usual sourness. At least it had had the decency to rain on Martel's funeral.

He looked over to where the ceremony itself was taking place, people in black clustered around the grave. He hadn't technically been invited - 'Wrath' was missing and 'Sharon' was still an enigma - so instead, he sat far away, leaning against the cemetery fence and pulling at the grass by his feet.

A shadow fell over him, and he looked up, shielding his eyes from the sun. For a moment, he could only see an outline, and then she shifted, and he broke into a smile. It was Sloth.

"Hey, big sister."

She smiled back, her usually-cold features warming up. "And here I was expecting a drag show."

Wrath glanced down at himself, and then shrugged. "The police know where I am and why I'm there, and my voice has started breaking. Don't really see the point now."

"And yet, you still have make-up on..."

He scowled. "I happen to like eyeshadow. And it's _black. Plenty _of guys do that."

Sloth covered her mouth to hide her smile. "I miss you."

His expression softened. "You too. How's she doing?"

"Worse. It probably won't be too much longer." She said it coldly and clinically, without a trace of a flinch or any pain - but Wrath knew Sloth better than that. It was just easier to pretend it was happening to somebody else. Somebody else's big sister. Somebody else's life. "Envy showed up the other night."

Oh, _that _made him sit up. It had been a week since Envy had left and the initial crushing misery had given way to genuine concern - after all, how stupid _could _someone get? He couldn't quite shake the feeling that it was his fault, either. "He what?"

"I think he was visiting Lust. Anyway, the idiot run afoul of Greed. I managed to get him out of the fire escape before anything else happened."

Wrath sighed, covering his face with one hand. "He's okay, then?"

"By most definitions of the word, yes."

He looked up at her again, suddenly feeling afraid again. "He really isn't okay, is he?" he whispered.

Sloth shrugged. "You're in a better position to say than me."

Wrath pulled his knees up to his chest, his last conversation with Envy playing through his head again.

_I'm not okay_

_ I would never_

_ wildling_

_ i'm coming back, pinky swear_

"I'm not so sure," he muttered.

Sloth was silent for a moment, and then reached over the fence to smooth down his flyaway hair. "Stay safe. I have to go." She paused for a moment, and then added, "Don't let Greed see you."

Wrath nodded, hoping she couldn't see how the muscles in his neck tightened at that. Then she was gone, and for a moment, he wanted to call her back. He knew she wouldn't come, though. Sloth had never been the type to run away.

There was a sudden jolt of guilt as Wrath realized they'd left her there alone.

_She's fine. We knew she'd be fine._

Oh damn, he hoped so. Greed wouldn't touch Sloth. He hadn't touched Envy until that night. Bruises, maybe, but they could all handle bruises.

"Stop it," he moaned, throwing his head back against the rails. He wasn't supposed to be responsible for his big sister. Thirteen wasn't old enough for the weight of the world.

_**Guess what, wildling? You got it anyway.**_

For once, Wrath was inclined to agree.

* * *

><p>She was fine. She was fine. She was fine.<p>

Riza Rockbell was completely fine. She was watching one of her best friends getting buried and couldn't stop thinking of Havoc in his bed, trying to adjust to the fact that he didn't have legs anymore, but she was fine, just fine, and she could see little Elysia who wasn't that little anymore in front of her clutching her mother's hand just like a small girl, and she was _just _fine.

She knew so many people here. (Distractions; that would help; don't think about what his body looks like, or why it wasn't an open casket or how he must have tried to scream when he was caught in the explosion -) There were the Elric brothers - that was right, Alphonse knew Hughes, even if he didn't let on most of the time, he'd called 911 almost screaming when he found his brother bleeding in the bathtub and Hughes had been the one to go, he'd gotten there even before the paramedics and Riza wondered if Ed even knew - and Falman, the receptionist from the police station, who had a past that only Hughes knew about, something to do with money was all Riza knew, and Fuery, the boy who was now a man, a university student, Hughes had gotten him out of an abusive home at 15 - and Sheska, the therapist they sent people to, everyone knew she'd been in love with Maes just a little and now she was trying to look professional and it wasn't working -

So many people. And Martel's funeral had been so small. A small ceremony for a small girl.

Olivier. There was Olivier, looking just as Olivier as always, except her eyes were sharper than flint and colder than ice; Miles, dark sunglasses hiding any emotion and his hands held behind his back, looking in every way like Olivier's opposite, her other half; another of the officers from another team (Buccaneer?) behind them and god, was the whole precinct here? Except _her _team was down to two. Havoc still couldn't even get out of bed. _Double amputation. _A wheelchair for his entire life.

_Why? Why not just shoot him? _cursed the darkest part of her mind, the anguish she didn't dare voice. _He's in so much pain...Maes...Maes was in so much pain... and Elysia watched it, why why WHY? _Her heart was raw and so was her throat; she felt like she'd been screaming, even though she hadn't uttered a word of discontent.

A hand looped around her wrist, and the touch made her breath catch in her throat, something that sounded suspiciously like a quiet sob bursting from her mouth.

Roy looked down at her blankly. He seemed so dead - it frightened her almost more than her own thoughts. Then, he leant down a little and whispered, "Nobody's going to blame you for crying at a funeral."

"I'm a police officer. It's my job to be strong. I'm here to honour him, not to turn into a wreck at his graveside." The preacher's words were a consistent drone, melding with the buzz of the insects and the rustling of the leaves almost seamlessly.

"People might think you don't care." His grip tightened on her wrist. She was uncomfortably reminded of Mordred. His eyes had been blank like this when he sampled his own products.

"What about you?" she fired back, her words sounding to her own ears oddly like a report from her own gun. The look on his face, the shock that killed the blankness and washed it away like a storm, made her reflexively check her hip; but she hadn't even brought it with her. She was off duty. (Supposedly.)

Roy said nothing more. He leant back against the tree, fingers loosening but not quite letting go of her wrist. He looked far more human with the shade of the leaves dappling over his face; they brought out the shadows under his eyes, the stains of tears he'd tried to hide. Silently, Riza stood beside him, refusing to lean against the trunk but sliding her hand up to lace her fingers in with his. It was terribly unprofessional, really - Roy was for all intents and purposes a coworker, even if his involvement wasn't technically legal - but she'd be damned if she was going to pass up another moment of contact again when she was never going to get another chance with Hughes.

* * *

><p>No one was surprised when the one to break was Elysia. The surprising part was how long she held it together. The service was over and they were starting to file back to the church for the reception when she noticed something and broke away from her mother.<p>

"E-Elysia!" Gracia called out, and then said nothing more, staring after her.

Without another word, Elysia threw her arms around Wrath, collapsing into his lap and burying her head into his shoulder. His first instinct was to try to push her off, but he stopped himself when he felt the wetness of tears on his neck.

"Didn't you do this the other day-?"

She slapped him across the face.

He rotated his jaw with a wince. _Can't say I didn't deserve it..._

_**Hit her back and see how she likes it -**_

_Shut your damn mouth._

"Sorry," he murmured, wrapping his arms gingerly around her, trying to ignore the part of him that was recoiling from being touched. Little bits here and there were okay, but she was _on top of him. Crying. _

"I-it'll be okay...I..."

"No it won't! I-I want him back! I want my daddy back!"

He didn't know what to say. All he could do was whisper, "I'm sorry," and ignore the surge of rage that rose deep in his stomach. Somebody had killed Hughes. Somebody was making Elysia cry. So he would make them pay. That was it. He'd find the bastard and make them bleed for every tear. _**Nobody gets to make her cry. She's mine.**_

He loosened his grip, suddenly feeling sick.

"Elysia, are you alri-" Gracia cut herself off, blinking in badly-disguised shock at the sight of her daughter all but straddling a boy who was supposedly missing.

Wrath raised a hand and forced a smile before trying to shrug. Elysia turned to look at her mother and hurriedly wiped her tears, trying to adjust her position to look, well...less _bad. _Although there wasn't a whole lot she could do.

"Ely," she warned, but Wrath held up both his hands in an attempt to placate her.

"I'm a friend. I, uh, helped. When she was upset before -"

"Shut _up, _jerk," hissed Ely, before sitting up. "Mum, this is my friend Sharon -"

_"Sharon? _You expect her to believe _that?"_

Ely gave Wrath a strange look, and then looked him up and down. "Oh. Huh. Didn't notice."

"Oh, sure you didn't notice, bignose. Maybe I don't _want _everybody to know about my drag exploits -"

"Now you're the one bringing them up!"

Gracia covered her mouth with a hand to conceal her laughter, even though there were still tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "Elysia, darling, please get up. I don't believe we've met, uh, _Sharon."_

Wrath got to his feet, dusting himself off subconsciously and trying to hide a flush of embarrassment as he realized the shirt that had fit him perfectly two months ago was now both too tight and too short. "Um. Wrath, actually. Nice to, er, meet you." He took her hand and shook it, smiling as politely as he could as he stomped on Elysia's foot.

"Ow! You son of a -"

"I'm sorry for causing a disruption," he continued on blithely as if nothing had happened. "I wasn't invited, and I shouldn't have, er, gatecrashed as it were. I just wanted to be here for Elysia."

Gracia inclined her head. "I'm glad you were. That was very thoughtful of you, young man -"

_Goddamn, it's been a while..._

"- especially since Elysia's other friends didn't see fit to attend."

"I _told _them not to come, Mom."

"As it were, it's always good to have a familiar face your own age." Gracia smiled again, although this time it seemed a little put on.

Wrath suddenly remembered what he'd forgotten to do. "M-my condolences, ma'am. I didn't know Mr. Hughes personally but I'm told he was a pillar of the community, and I can believe it. I'm impressed at your..." And suddenly thirteen years of life under Dante failed him altogether. "...Put-together-ness."

The most wonderful thing happened then. Gracia giggled - honestly, truly, giggled. Then she reached out and hugged him, a little too tightly for his liking, but he could feel the hidden thanks within it. _That whole speech and it's the Buffyspeak she likes. Well, whatever works._

A moment later, as the procession headed off to the reception, Wrath tried to slink away, but Elysia grabbed his hand. "Don't you _dare." _

"Wh-what?"

"You think I'll survive this without you? Come on, I need a punching bag."

"...Wonderful," he snarked, but honestly? It was nice to be wanted.

* * *

><p>Lust was asleep again. She'd been sleeping more and more these days. For a moment, Sloth thought she might have slipped away, and to her own horror, there was a faint feeling of relief. Then Lust stirred, and the feeling came back stronger, making Sloth almost collapse with the weight of her own guilt.<p>

"Oh, hi," she said with a smile, her voice hardly more than a whisper. "I must have drifted off again.

Sloth returned the smile with as much energy as she could muster. She sat down by Lust, touching her hand gently. It was ice cold, with a faint, throbbing heartbeat beneath her papery skin.

"Do you need anything?" asked Sloth, voice mechanical and monitored as always. She tried to sound caring, she really did, but she just got so tired and it was so hard to bring her emotions to the surface, even when they broiled like a storm and made her quiver like a leaf... Outwardly, she was a statue.

"Just a glass of water, thanks." Lust seemed about to try to say something else but simply sighed, looking up at Sloth with her purple eyes and a soft, sad look.

Sloth held the glass to Lust's lips, supporting it even when her sister raised her hands to the cup. "I saw Wrath today. He's happy."

Lust swallowed, and grinned. "That's great! He have a girlfriend yet?"

"Not yet. I think he has an interest in somebody though."

Lust reached over and touched Sloth's pale cheek with her shaking hand. "How about you, eh?"

She shook her head. "I'm not interested at all."

"Ahh, you should give it a go. Nothing like someone to keep your bed warm."

She turned red despite herself, but said nothing.

Lust's lids flickered, and she yawned. "I think I'm going to go back to sleep. Is that alright?"

The younger nodded almost imperceptibly. "I have places to be."

"You're always so busy! What are you doing all day, hmm? Other than school, of course."

That gave her pause for a moment. After a moment however, she replied, "Reconnaissance."

* * *

><p>It was late afternoon, when Sloth made it down to the Byward Market, the sun beating down on her bare head and making her feel a little dizzy. She'd never looked good in hats, but now she was starting to consider investing in one. Summer was particularly brutal this year; she'd even forsaken her usual purple jacket at the risk of burning her shoulders, although she'd made sure Greed wasn't looking. He liked her shoulders.<p>

The heat meant there were lots of people out and about, and suppressing her own dislike of crowds, she weaved through them as best as she could. Garfiel's Bar was in one of the seedier sections of the market, but this early in the day it should be fine...

...she hoped.

Finally she found it, a door and a set of stairs jammed between two other clubs. With no shortage of trepidation, she climbed up the steps, her folder clutched against her chest.

There was a man at the doorway at the top of the stairs, the size of a treetrunk and slouched in a chair, idly picking at his silver-white sideburns. He was tapping his foot. Sloth looked down at his foot, starting to count the taps. _...Set of three, pause, set of two, pause, set of four, pause, set of three, pause, set of three, pause. Sets of three with occasional syncopated beat. One, two, three, pause - one, two -_

The tapping stopped. "Yes?" came a gruff snarl, and she jerked her head up, before smoothing down her skirt to hide any vestigial trace of embarrassment.

"I'm looking for..." She paused. He might not be using his real name. "A friend," she finished.

"A friend, huh?" He looked her up and down, and she flinched under the weight of his gaze. "Pretty little thing like you? You're not old enough to be looking for your boy here."

"I'm older than I look," she retorted, which was a barefaced lie. She looked all of her fifteen years and she knew it.

"Then he's not worth your time." He reached out and circled her waist with one of his massive arms, pulling her close. "And since you're here already..."

"Oy! Loa!" Much to her relief, Envy came stomping around the corner, although she almost didn't recognize him. His hair was even longer than it had been before, and dyed a mottled green that blended strangely with the threads of blonde showing through at his scalp. (She'd noticed it the other night, of course, but it hadn't really registered. There had been more important things.) The clothes didn't faze her as much, but they were still odd - a black spaghetti-strap top that ended at his belly-button and tight jeans with embroidered red patterns dancing around the hem and the waist. Oh, and he was being loud. That was the strangest part.

"Let go of her, you waste of space," he snarled, smacking Loa on the shoulder.

"What, she your girl or something?" Nevertheless, Loa removed his arm and made a motion like the doffing of a hat, if he'd been wearing one. "Forgive me, ma'am."

Envy pulled a face. "No, she's my sister." He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door, deeper into Garfiel's. She couldn't help but look around, hypnotized by the strange lighting and the woman dancing on the stage down at the far end -

A second later, she saw the pole and turned her head resolutely away, just before the girl took off her top. However, Envy chose the seat closest to it (_why?) _before indicating to her to sit down.

"So. You actually came." He half-smiled, and Sloth noted how drawn and thin his face was, even paler than it had been before.

"Of course."

"You want your favour repaid?"

"No, not yet. Although..." she eyed him up and down. "I might waste it on getting you to wear something decent."

"Hey, how many clothes do you think I have? I just wear what Noah and Rose have spare."

"...Alright." She laid down her folder, but left it closed. "Hughes' funeral was today."

In only a second, his entire demeanour changed. The angry slouch, the gangly rudeness, disappeared into a shrinking into himself and an air of defeat. Suddenly Sloth recognized him, her brother in the stranger, and she swallowed at that realization. She knew him as sad and defeated. What did that say about them?

"Oh," he whispered after a moment. "Is - is Ely ok? I-I mean -"

"I don't know. I wasn't actually there. Wrath went, though. He'll take care of her."

"Take care of her? I thought they hated each other."

"Clearly not."

He laughed quietly. "Things change quickly when I'm gone, huh?" He glanced up quickly at her, but then averted his gaze again. In another fragile murmur, almost lost in the noise of the bar, he asked, "Do they blame me?"

She shook her head.

"They should."

She shook her head again. "Is that why you left?"

"Part of it. It doesn't matter." He switched back, almost giving her double vision with the speed of it. "Anyway, it's fun here. The girls and Doro take care of me, and Garfiel's talking about hiring me."

"As what?"

"A bartender." Envy's gaze flickered over to her, and he bared his teeth in a grin. "What did you think, Sloth?"

Despite herself, Sloth's eyes were drawn to the now-nude form of the pole-dancer before she tore them away. It wasn't attraction that captured her attention - it was beauty, simple beauty, and despite the simple repulsion that usually stopped her from admitting it about Envy, he had the same beauty. Not the same _type, _no - the dancer was all curves and chocolate and silk, and Envy was pale and dramatic, but...it was there.

"Nothing." She touched the folder, but still didn't open it. "You...are coming back." It was a question without a question mark, a request without a plea.

"...Yeah. I'll have to, for, um..." he swallowed, "for Lust. I promised. And Wrath asked me to come back for September."

"As long as you promise."

"What's the matter, Sloth? Miss me?" It sounded sardonic, but Envy couldn't hide the warmth in his eyes. He had never been able to hide his emotions well.

She didn't respond, opening the folder and sliding it over to him. "I found him."

"Who?" He looked down, and his jaw tightened as he read it. Sloth could recite the file from memory. _Sadad Mikhail. Age: 23. _His location. His background. Everything about him that she'd been able to pull from school records, censes, newsletters - everything.

"He and his older brother lived in our neighbourhood," she murmured. "About eight years ago. Lust was thirteen. Wrath was just a baby."

"I..." Envy couldn't pull his eyes from the paper. "I don't remember this at all..."

"I don't either. We were young. I doubt our parents told us anything."

He shook his head. "But this isn't right." The paper he was reading and rereading was the one Sloth knew the best. Kateb Mikhail had had been arrested after reported threats made against Lust Angevin, followed by stalker-like behaviour.

"No. It's not. Because it's not true." She reached over and flipped over the page. A bomb threat. Allegations of terrorism against the sixteen-year-old Muslim boy. They'd investigated but found nothing - still, the boy had been detained for a long time, probably too long. "Notice. All of these are by Mother and Father. No corroboration from anyone else. You know Lust as well as I do. Kateb was most likely her first boyfriend. And you also know how Mother can get."

Envy nodded slowly, chewing the inside of his cheek. His eyes were so bright - Sloth couldn't remember when she'd last seen him so thoughtful, or so involved. The last time she'd seen him, not including him stumbling through the window in girl's clothing...it seemed like a lot longer than two months ago when they'd been at the gala. Together. Four out of the five of them, anyway. Envy had even found someone to take her, knowing she was too introverted to do it herself.

It was strange, putting together. Edward. Russell. Ling. They were the ones responsible for the sparkle and depth in Envy's gaze, where before it had been flat and grey and dead.

Sloth wondered what others saw in her eyes.

"So what does this have to do with Lust getting sick? I mean, she didn't get it from Kateb, and she certainly didn't get it when she was thirteen."

"Actually, it's theoretically possible. HIV can remain dormant for years, and Lust has been active for a long time. But I doubt it, it looks like Sadad has been in and out of the hospital over the last few years." She paused. "I have his home address."

That startled Envy, and his face darkened, making her recoil a little. Before he could speak, she barrelled onwards, "I also found out something about that boy who's been harassing you for so long. Zolf J. Kimbley, Jr. His father is in jail. Murder charges." She was almost babbling now. "He raped and killed two boys back in '96. You could make Kimbley leave you alone -"

"Sloth, that's _enough," _burst out Envy, and when she clutched her hands to her chest, he grabbed them, pulling them none-too-gently away. "_Leave them alone," _he said insistently, more forcefully than she'd ever heard him.

"I...I thought..." she stammered, suddenly rattled.

"You thought _wrong, _Sloth. Sadad didn't do this on purpose. And...and..." He shook his head. "You're better than this."

"I didn't do anything!"

He eyed the folder. "I'd say you did enough. Finding all of that..."

"You told me to find him!"

Envy paused, and took a deep breath. "...Yes. I did, didn't I. I'm sorry." He let go of her hands, lowering them to her lap and then folding his own in his. "I don't know what to do. This is..." He swallowed. "I didn't expect you to..."

"Actually do it?"

He nodded. "I didn't know you could."

"I'll tell him Lust is ill," she answered after another moment of silence, filled with the steady drum of the music and the sporadic cheers of the crowd. "Then I'll leave him alone. I promise."

"And Kimbley, too." Envy flinched a little even at saying the name, and the protective instinct Sloth usually kept well buried flared up a little at the pain written all over his face. "Last thing I want is to give him another reason to come after me."

"He won't," she said flatly. "If he does I'll take care of it."

"You won't do a thing, Sloth. Stay out of it." Envy patted her head, ruffling her hair and smiling faintly at her scowl as she tried to pull it back into place. "You're fifteen. It's not your job to take care of me."

"Somebody's got to," slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it. Envy closed his eyes for a moment, and then turned back to the folder, closing it and sliding it back over to her side of the bar.

Sloth looked up at him, and then reached forward hesitantly, stopping just before touching his bare shoulder. She didn't like touching people, or being touched. She got more of that than she liked. But for once in her life she didn't have the words.

Reaching a compromise, she wrapped her arm around Envy's, leaning her head a little awkwardly against his shoulder. At first she started to panic at the skin-on-skin contact, but when Envy reached over with his other hand and laid it on the top of head, pulling her just a little bit closer, she began to relax. Still, she pulled away after just a moment.

"I should probably go," she murmured, although she didn't really want to.

"I - I guess." There was another pause. They were both talking more than they were used to. "You could stick around. If you wanted to."

She shook her head. "I'm - I'm expected home."

"I mean..." He shrugged, and then let his shoulders fall. "We never should have -" a pause. He gulped. "We never should have left you behind. If it hadn't been so...so sudden...we wouldn't have, I swear, I just..."

She quirked her mouth just a hint upwards. "If I had any intention of leaving, there was nothing stopping me from doing so. Just because you're my big brother doesn't mean I can't be responsible for myself."

"Look at you, all grown-up," he snarked. He suddenly looked thirteen again - not through any regression or distortion, but the simple fact that when he was thirteen, he'd still had Martel. "Just don't do anything stupid, alright?"

"Oh, you are _so _one to talk." And with that absurdity, they both collapsed into giggles, Envy leaning forward and pressing his forehead against the bar as he tried to restrain himself.

"Oh my god, you're right, I'm sorry, I'm the worst role-model ever," he managed to gasp out between spurts of laughter. "Head on back, then. But you know Ed's number, right? And don't be afraid to call the police either if you need to."

"What if I wanted to call you?"

"...That's trickier. Ed and the police are your best bet. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You look happy." She got up, reaching over and giving Envy's hand a squeeze. "...Good luck." She wanted to tell him she loved him, but the words caught in her throat, trapped by her own mask.

"You too. And make sure Wrath knows I'm okay, if you see him, please?"

With one last smile, she left the club, leaving the folder behind. However, at the doorway, she took a moment to look back - and the strange feeling of disorientation suddenly made sense to her.

It wasn't that she didn't recognize Envy anymore - it was that she recognized him more than ever. The stranger wearing his skin was gone.

* * *

><p>"So, who was that cutie?"<p>

Envy pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it and taking a puff, making a point of not looking at the naked woman who had just strolled over and leant on the section of the bar Sloth had just vacated. "My sister. Did you not notice how we look almost identical?"

"She doesn't have green hair," retorted Noah. "That throws things off a bit. Besides, I didn't want to assume!"

"Like how I shouldn't assume that you and Rose are twins?"

Noah ignored him, staring into empty space and biting her lip.

"Oh for _chrissakes -"_

"Hey, what are you implying?"

"She's my _sister!"_

She pulled the most indignant face she could muster. "I don't know _what _you're talking about." She tugged a long scarf from her bag, hidden behind the counter, and wrapped it around herself in a modicum of decency. "So is your entire family stunningly beautiful, then? Because you're making me jealous."

Envy bit his lip, shrugged. "Don't ask me. We all look pretty alike, though -" he waved a hand around his face - "round here, anyway."

Noah sat down on the stool next to him, leaning forward. "Welllll? Tell me more!"

"W-why?"

"Envy, honey, you tell us _nothing. _Hints here and there, yes, but we don't know shit about you."

"I don't know anything about you, either -" but she waved a hand at him.

"That'll come later. Now come on, tell me about your sibs!"

Envy put the cigarette to his mouth, tapping it against his bottom lip. "There's five of us," he said carefully, although he figured Noah and her group were the least likely people to turn him in or tell him to go home. "I'm the third oldest. Like I said, we've all got pretty similar faces, but my older sister, older brother and little brother all look a lot alike, and then Sloth and I look like each other. They've all got black hair and they're taller, bigger, more like Father - I'm naturally a blonde, Sloth's a light brunette, and we're both built like Mother."

"Mother, Father," she echoed in a mocking voice. "God, you're such a tightass sometimes! Are you British or something?"

"..."

"What?"

"No. No, I am not British. Not even a little bit. Hence the lack of an accent."

Noah laughed, and then skipped over to retrieve the rest of her clothes. She seemed to like dancing much more like the more physical side of her line of work - coming home from nights out looking for clients, she'd be nervous, tired and crabby.

A moment later, fully-dressed, she grabbed his arm. "Come on, Spiderman. It's nice out. Let's find the others and go adventuring!"

* * *

><p>Sloth got home late. There was a strange restlessness in her, something that begged for release. She headed for the piano, blew the dust off its keys, tested the middle C like the waters of a new, untouched lake. The note, still perfect, spread out and resonated and rippled, and she sat down with her long fingers splayed across the keyboard. She began to play. She didn't know what she was playing at first, but soon it began to resolve into a song she recognized. A song about being good enough. A song about the rain.<p>

Soon enough, Mother came down the stairs and hissed at her to stop that infernal racket. Mother had never liked it when she played music. Mother only liked Lust's music.

Sloth played on. Even when Mother struck her face with a slap that stung like wildfire, she paused only for a moment then kept playing, fingers dancing across the black keys, the white keys, feet gripping the pedals like footholds.

Mother gave up. Sloth didn't stop playing for another hour, song drifting into song.

It was a victory.


	33. Fire-Dancers

**Yeah, so I'm going to put a big fat TRIGGER WARNING up here, for abuse as well as sexual material that can be really triggering for people, stuff like that. This story is rated M for a reason, sweetie-pies. **

**I have a tumblr now though! It's just my username dot tumblr dot com, and I encourage everybody to check it out, since it's mostly me ranting about my various writing projects and talking about what's stopping me from working on them.**

**The relationship between Greed and Sloth is the one I've had the hardest time developing. One thing I do need to remind people is that Characterization Marches On - some of the stuff Sloth does in earlier chapters isn't quite in line with the latest stuff, but I didn't have her character hammered out yet. Same with Greed, although his is arguably more consistent, especially since we mostly see him through the eyes of Envy and Wrath.**

**Finally:**

**Extroverted Loner: Yes, it was on purpose! I was listening to the songs while writing and trying to pace the writing properly - didn't think anybody would actually do it though XD Also I'm working on an original-fiction rewrite so it may very well have its own fandom eventually ^_^**

**guestnameboop: Nope, I'm dead. I am a zombieSeth. :3**

**Part 5: Suibou (Collapse)**

**Chapter 33**

**Fire-Dancers**

She should have been afraid of getting burnt. He seemed to be made of nothing of heat - flame and rage and cinders, glowing in the dark through burnt-black eyes. He left trails of flame where he touched her, from her collarbone down her stomach to the mound of flesh and the place that felt like a gaping wound, and then dancing across the scar tissue on her back. She'd tried to insist on keeping her shirt on, but he'd slid his hand around the back of her neck, kissed her gently, unbuttoned it, and she'd cried before letting him see.

She should have been afraid of getting burnt. But it was this or freezing solid, and she couldn't endure that again, so she let him take her - no, there was no 'letting', she rode him and bit his neck and kissed him hungrily and listened to him groan and gasp, watched as her long hair coiled on his pale chest, blonde on white. And in the end, he wrapped his arms around her, both for his security and hers, the two of them each other's lifelines in a world that had gotten a little bit darker.

He slept, or at least she thought he did. She simply traced lazy patterns on the sheets, her mind blissfully empty at least for a little while. She'd start feeling bad soon, she knew. But not yet.

* * *

><p><em>A few hours earlier<em>

"...And then what does he do? He pulls out _another _one!"

The small group seated around the table erupted into laughter, not for the first time that night. Gracia shook her head in amusement. "Of course he did. Can you imagine Maes without a camera?"

Fuery chuckled. "Where did he get them all anyway? I work in IT and I don't have that many cameras."

"What would you _do _with them?" asked Ed in a tone of mock horror. "Take nude pictures of your stripped-down motherboards?"

There was another round of laughter at Fuery's expense, although he took it in good stride, pushing up his glasses with a small smile.

"Olivier?" asked Gracia, quiet and smooth as always. "Do...do you have any good stories from the station?"

Olivier blinked, and then shrugged, her obvious discomfort at being put on the spot showing through. "I don't know. He was always too damn _cheerful, _I know that. Oh yeah, and he pissed me off because he acted like he knew everything about how a case would work out and then it would work out in his favour _anyway._" She glanced up, and then plastered a smile on her face. "You know. Hu- er - Maes."

Gracia returned the smile rather more convincingly. Some people were able to make light conversation and laugh after good times; some weren't. Gracia was one of the first, he'd known that for a long time, but Olivier, short on social graces to begin with, was too far into mourning to even think about laughing over something silly Maes had done.

Of course, it didn't help that the life they were celebrating hadn't been cut short in an accident or by some disease; he'd been killed. Roy's fist clenched tight even at the thought, and he had to consciously make himself release it. He'd nearly lost it at the funeral itself; he had Riza to thank for that. Just a little bit longer and then the mask could go.

But until then... "Don't worry, he did that in school too. He didn't study for a single one of his exams."

"Oh yeah, you two went to school together, didn't you?" Ed pulled a face. "Ew. That means I have to think about my teacher being _young."_

"Quiet, you little brat."

"You can't say that to me, I'm a _student!"_

"Not right now, you're not. Besides, you are a brat."

"Yeah, well, you're practically _ancient!" _A second later, Ed realized what he'd said and had to apologize to Gracia, Olivier and just about everyone else at the table. "Not used to being the youngest," he grouched.

Riza stayed stubbornly quiet. In their limited meetings, Roy had only gotten a small sense of her character; as such, he couldn't quite decide whether she was quiet due to grief, deep thought or a simple lack of desire to speak. The only thing he knew was that there was something decidedly strange about a woman in her twenties who sat at a table with her eyes cast down and hands folded in her lap - like a little girl waiting for a scolding.

A nudge in his side made him turn to his other side, where Ed was giving him a meaningful look. With a wry chuckle, Roy slipped his hand under the table and gave his knee a squeeze, leaning over and murmuring, "Getting jealous?"

With a snort, Ed pushed him away, muttering, "Stop it, you bastard," but unable to hide that he was blushing. Roy obliged, but not before stroking Ed's leg a little as he withdrew his hand. The part of him that was somehow still convinced he was a morally upright citizen was yelling at him, reminding him that Ed was _his student, _but it was hard to resist sometimes. Especially since he got so _cute _when he got flustered.

_You should be ashamed of yourself. At Maes's funeral? Really?_

Once again, the guilt was enough to stop his thoughts in their tracks. He didn't have time to fool around and flirt, or even admire the people around him - Maes's killer, whoever they were, was getting away with it.

_ His killer._

Something rose in his throat. He looked around the table, and suddenly, it hit him - _it could have been any of them. _Gracia, Olivier, even Miles... _Riza... _

In the corner of his eye, he could see Wrath and Elysia, the latter talking animatedly to the former and the former only barely paying attention. _Angevin. _

_ Maes's killer could be sitting here, laughing and drinking with the rest of us and no one would ever know..._

He stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over. "I...need to get some air." Barely able to stop himself from breaking into a run, he headed for the door, letting it slam closed behind him as he collapsed against the brick wall.

It was getting dark out here. The sun had set, but there was still a pastel shimmer above the western skyline to mark its passing. Out of it fanned the stars, blinking awake as the light faded, and the moon, glowing with its borrowed light.

"Appreciating the sunset?" Riza's voice came cutting through the silence, touched with her usual vaguely sardonic tone. He could never tell whether it was intentional or not.

"It's...nice, yes."

She closed the door behind her, and closed her hands around each other in front of her thighs as she looked upwards. "Please don't think I don't care," she murmured, almost too quietly to hear. "I don't think I could bear that."

"Quite the opposite," he replied. "I think you care too much."

She gave a small, wry chuckle. "At Martel's funeral, they were all so young. Kids. They knew her from school." She swallowed. "Elysia -" she nodded towards the door back into the reception hall - "she was ten. Nine, maybe." A pause, where Roy had to pretend he couldn't see how her eyes were glimmering. "It's not fair."

Roy almost had an answer for her, but it stayed trapped in his throat. He'd never lost anybody before - not while he could remember, anyway. He hadn't known his parents and his aunt was comfortably ensconced in her own home, although she used a cane now. Only now did it strike him that it _really _wasn't fair - the world wasn't, he knew that - but he realized that he was in the minority. He'd never attended a funeral for someone he loved before.

Riza was rubbing her hands now, an almost certainly unconscious gesture. They were still folded in front of her, but they wouldn't stop moving against each other. Now that he was looking, he could see how her fingernails were bitten down to the quick.

"I'm sorry," he said as confidently as he could manage. Now that he was out of the reception hall, seeing the one he'd nearly pointed the finger at in the twilight, he couldn't believe it had crossed his mind for a moment that she was the one responsible. She was... He bit back the word _young. _There were enough implications around him and Ed that he was trying to shake, the last thing he wanted was to bring them up again, even in his own mind.

Suddenly, her hands went still, and startled, Roy dragged his eyes back to her face. She was smiling at him, that hint of faint mockery in her expression as it was in her voice.

"I...uh..." He smiled back. "You can tell a lot about people by their hands, you know."

"I do know." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I also know I have no intention of going back inside. Would you like to come over?"

"I...uh..." He did have school the next day, but if he could show up to school hungover with no one any the wiser, he could teach on a few hours of sleep. Besides, it was early yet. "Sure. Do you think Gracia will -"

"I told her before I slipped out that neither of us were likely to be back. She understands."

"Alright then." He pushed himself off of the wall, debated the pros and cons of taking her hand, and then burrowed his hands into his pockets. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>It always seemed easier to talk about the hidden things at night. Perhaps it was because she couldn't quite see his face, covered by the interplay of the shadows and the streetlights. Perhaps it was something else. Perhaps she'd just kept them hidden for too long.<p>

She told him about Martel, first. Her moods and her habits - the first time she'd gone out alone and not told Riza where she was - the longest night of her life when Martel never did come home. Then she told him about Winry. How she worried about her, the jealousy she tried to hide, the exasperated feeling that she might never grow up -

He told her about Auntie Chris. He told her about Maes and their days in the military school, how he'd eventually figured out he'd rather teach children how the world worked than con them into picking up a gun and getting shot down next to him. How Maes would pretend he was fine and then whisper to him in the night, tell him all his fears, how he'd never really had a friend before - and sometimes they'd stay up all night watching TV.

She told him about Mordred Falcon. How he'd never touched her - not to hit her, not to hold her - not a touch - until he'd caught one of his clients making eyes at her when she forgot to hide and decided she needed to be marked. She told him about how she'd hide in the closet or her bedroom whenever the big men came to visit, and find her own little world to hide in so she didn't have to hear them fighting or twitching or screaming.

He told her about Edward. She forgave him.

She told him about Havoc - the mess of feelings, how she'd been trying to figure out how to tell him she wanted him, how to ask him to deal with her and her hang-ups - and now he was the invalid and she was just a rookie cop who probably should have been in the mental hospital.

They reached her building, avoided each other's glances in the elevator, and she saw herself in the mirror - once again starting at how much it reminded her of Martel -

She pulled out her keys once they reached the door. She kept missing the lock. "Sorry...give me a moment..." Her hands wouldn't stop shaking, and her voice was shaking too. Even once it had slid into the lock, she couldn't make herself stop trembling.

"Are you alright?"

She tried to say 'yes', but the lump in her throat stopped her. Slowly, she shook her head, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. She began to rub her hands together, but he took her hands and pulled her to him, holding her tight.

She swallowed, took his face in her hands and kissed him - hesitantly, then sweetly, then hungrily - and he kissed her back, and somehow she opened the door and pulled him inside and around the corner, into her room and onto the bed. _Something...give me something...something to hold on to, something so I don't slip away._

* * *

><p>Wrath couldn't get comfortable, no matter how he shifted in his seat and adjusted his posture, kicked his legs or shrugged his shoulders back and forth. He was at the funeral of somebody he hadn't known, for the sake of somebody he barely knew, surrounded by police officers that - up until recently - he'd been doing his best to avoid. It was just a little too surreal for him.<p>

Elysia was chattering away to somebody next to her, although her hand was wrapped a little uncomfortably around his. Other than that, though, they'd barely exchanged two words during the entire reception. He wasn't sure how comfortable he was with that. He was tempted to lean over and call her 'bignose' just for the sake of it, except he wasn't sure whether he'd get punched like usual or just make her cry.

He settled for just staring into his lap, trying to muster up some of listening to her put down everyone around her and jabber on about her new clothes, new toys, how Envy was _bound _to ask her out eventually...and here he was, feeling a little like her newest accessory. Elysia Hughes was - or had been - as plastic as it got.

_**Oh, now you realize you're holding hands with prime time queen bitch. If you wanted to fuck her so badly there's an easier way to do it.**_

_I do not want to fuck her, _he replied with as much mental emphasis as he could muster. _She's fat and has a big nose. And wears too much pink._

_**Great tits, though. Imagine what you could do with those soft little jugs - that's more than a handful there. **_

_I'm not listening to you._

_**Like you have a choice. Face it, I am part of you, and I'm the part of you that wants to tie her down and fuck her little cunt raw. Then again, you're the part that just wants to kill her for being such a spoiled little brat.**_

_That's...not true._

_**Yeah? I heard you. You wanted to wring her neck. Nobody ever beat her, no, and she doesn't even have a brother to fuck her in the ass, or a sister she's gonna have to mourn, or -**_

_Her father just died. Could you kindly fuck off? I might be a fucked up bastard but I have at least some decency, and ergo, so do you._

The voice fell silent, and Wrath allowed himself a small smirk of victory before he realized that his other half's words had actually elicited a physical reaction that his jeans weren't going to hide. He debated asking Elysia where the washroom was before catching sight of it hidden the corner. Quickly excusing himself, he skittered off, locking himself in before anybody saw him.

He slumped against the door, fighting the nausea rising in his throat. _Go away, go away, go away, _he urged, trying to think of something - anything - else. He'd had sex ed class, he knew this was normal, but not about her, not about the things he was thinking about, and even if it was he didn't want it _didn't want it -_

Wrath found his hand pressed against his mouth, his teeth working against the soft flesh of his palm. _Good, _he thought, because then he could ignore what his other hand was doing, make it robotic. He wasn't going to think about, just think about something else, _anything else -_

_**Come on, wildling, just this once, I've done so much for you, shouldn't you pay me back?**_

_** We're brothers, it's okay**_

_** It'll stop hurting in a little bit**_

_** I love you, love you, love you wildling -**_

Wrath bit down harder, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling them leak. _Anything else. Please, _he begged, hoping that this once, his own mind wouldn't betray him.

Elysia's face rose up in his mind. Not that awful pout she wore when she thought she was being cool - the times when she was open, when she was crying next to him, when she was angry, when her temper stopped her from keeping her emotions in escrow...

Slowly, both of his hands relaxed. He sank to the floor, tears still stinging at his eyes and crawling their way down his cheeks, but his mind wasn't back in that dark room any more - it was flicking through his memories, and drawing out the simple fact that Elysia had asked him to stay. That Elysia had been happy to see him.

He laughed to himself. _She might be a bitch, but under that she's just a little girl still. And...she's my... _"Friend," he whispered, a word with little more than the faintest breath of air behind it but so, so much more besides.

* * *

><p>Riza woke to an empty bed. It didn't surprise her overmuch - she wasn't quite sure what she would have said to him had he stayed - but it did disappoint her. She'd never slept next to somebody else before, and it had been a pleasant surprise feeling somebody beside her each time she stirred in the night.<p>

Temporary or not, she was left with a warmth in her chest, and a weight off of her shoulders. She had no parents, no lover, just a sister with little to no grasp of the life she'd lived and said sister's previous caretaker. Even if he had snuck off in the morning, he'd given her what she needed.

Still. It would have been nice if he'd stayed.

* * *

><p>Sloth was an early riser, the only one in the family, and so she was reasonably confident that in the morning, she was alone. However, as she slowly padded her way into the kitchen, she was surprised to see Greed slumped at the kitchen table. At first, she thought he was asleep, perhaps too drunk to get to bed after another night out, but as she approached, he stirred, raising his head.<p>

"Oh. Sloth. You're awake."

"Yes. Why are you?"

He shrugged, exhaustion seeping out of every pore. "Eh. Didn't sleep. How early is it?"

"Six. In the morning."

"Seriously?" He groaned, rubbing his forehead. "Shit."

"You were out again."

He glanced up at her, and then laughed. "Nah. Not tonight - er, last night. I'm sober as a weasel."

Sloth narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, princess doesn't believe me?" He smiled at her, his crooked smile that had all the girls falling at his feet (except her, of course, never her), and then got up and closed the distance between them. She drew her dressing gown more tightly around her.

"Do I smell like booze?" When Sloth hesitated to answer, he lowered his head until their faces were inches away from each other. "Come on, sis, if I was drinking you'd know."

She took a measured, pronounced step backwards. "What's going on?" she asked stonily. He made no move to follow her.

Greed sighed, his usual cockiness disappearing as fast as it had arrived, and he leant his head against his arm on the wall, hiding his face from her. She could tell what he was thinking, though - his body language said enough.

"How much longer?"

"A day. Maybe two." His reply was thick with something she hesitated to call grief; it felt more like confusion, desperation - denial. He loved them all. She knew that. He just had a different kind of love, a love that burned and scalded and left cinders in its wake, dark and smouldering within his heart and in the chests of his possessions. Now he was losing them all. They were being stolen in the dark by shadows, each grimmer and more permanent than the last.

At least, this was what Sloth knew of him. She knew the truth - that Envy and Wrath had left of their own free will, that Lust had been gone for a long time, that the only shadow was the one that had been slowly overtaking him for the last three years. But watching him try not to cry made it hard to remember that.

"I..." she began, but ran out of words.

The sound of her voice seemed to have triggered something, though. He swivelled around and grabbed the lapel of her bathrobe, pulling her close and growling, "You bring them the fuck home. You get them back. I know you know where they are - _so do it."_

She wasn't trembling, she swore to herself. "Of course," she whispered.


	34. I hate to disappoint but

**Oh, how I hate to disappoint**

Seven Names of Envy Angevin is no longer updating. To ask questions about the story, the permanent hiatus on it, or the planned ending, visit my tumblr at moonlitwatersunnyriver (dot tumblr dot com of course) and, well, ask! This will be going on until AUG 10th, at which point I will no longer accept questions about the ending of SNEA. (Unless. You know. nobody asks.)

In the meantime, I'm doing (yet another) rewrite/reimagining of the setting/characters/themes in a 100-oneshot collection that isn't really oneshots called Beauty and the Beast: A Thousand Names. Go read it! ^_^

(I will not be accepting questions through FF PM. Anon (should be) enabled on Tumblr and I can publish all questions that way.)


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